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LAERWEN WOKE IN HER own bed. Or at least she thought it was her own bed. She blinked, staring up at the ceiling with the wood rafters. She never remembered her room having wood rafters. It took several minutes for her disorientation to subside and for her to remember exactly where she was. She knew she was in large bed snuggled under layers of blankets but she had no idea where.
She turned her head. She finally realized she was back in her bedchamber in the Woodlands. Not the Hin’dar Rhule. The room was a welcome sight.
Yet as she comprehended where she was not, sorrow pressed against her. The room she remembered—the one she grew up in—was no more. The palace had been destroyed and whatever was left of her realm was surely gone as well. She wanted to see it. She needed to see it to give her peace of mind and mayhap closure.
Her last moments on the volcano came back to her in a rush. She had to squeeze her eyes shut to block out the memories. How Lorcann had dragged her toward the widening fissure. How she had stabbed him. How the volcano had erupted moments after Andahar and Nero rescued her from the top. From certain death. He had held her close to him as they flew away. Being in his arms gave her that security she always cherished. And yet sadness mushroomed through her that her homeland was gone.
Andahar.
Where was he? She scooted to an upright position, pain flaring through her arm and hand. Glancing down, she saw her wrist tightly bound in gauze. And then she remembered that too. When Lorcann slapped her wrist with his sword, making her drop her own. Cutting her. She remembered the way the sticky blood seeped through her tunic, drenching it. She must have lost a lot of blood.
But she had forgotten the pain. Revenge had blinded her, made her forget the discomfort. She took comfort knowing Lorcann was dead, incinerated in the molten rock.
A knock on the door preceded it creaking open. Andahar stepped inside, held open the door for a servant who placed a tray of food and drink on a nearby table. Her heart pounded wildly at the sight of him.
Gods, he looked handsome. He was dressed in a crushed velvet tunic in a deep azure with a high collar trimmed in gold. Gold buttons. His sword swinging at his side. Black pants, boots polished to a high shine. His silvery hair brushed the collar of his tunic. Those piercing green eyes met hers, held her gaze and never looked away as the servant girl bustled from the room.
“Good morrow.” His voice was soft in the quiet of the room.
She wanted to swoon. Instead, she blushed. “Good morrow.”
He walked to the bed and perched on the edge. “Glad to see you awake. I was worried about you.”
“I’m awake.”
His gaze landed on her wrist. He reached for it, gently pulled it to him and turned it over in his grasp to examine the bandage. “The healer says you are mending well. Do you have any discomfort?”
“It hurts a little,” she admitted.
His gaze met hers again. “I’m glad you’re all right. You gave me a scare.”
“What happened? The last thing I remember is passing out as Nero flew away.”
He nodded. “You did pass out. Lady Talaiel and King Derron managed to get what survivors there were away from the volcano. We would never have made it back here had it not been for them.” He clasped her hand in his. “I had Nero fly here to have Brom tend you.”
“Andahar...I’m so sorry...”
“For nearly getting yourself killed? You should be.”
She couldn’t meet his gaze. She knew he was angry and he had a right to be.
“No revenge is worth dying for,” he said softly.
“I know but all I could think about was vengeance for my realm, my people, my parents. It was wrong of me. I know that now and, Andahar, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I put everyone in danger. I shouldn’t have.” Her voice cracked and she couldn’t stop the well of tears. She had held her emotions in check far too long. “What of the rest of my people?”
He squeezed her hand, as if steeling her against the news he was about to deliver. “There are a few Fire Elves left. They made it back here to the Woodlands.”
She lifted her eyes, met his gaze. He’d softened. No longer did he have the creased forehead of anger. Or the lips thinned in irritation. “That’s good. I’m glad. What of Hiram?”
“He’s been beside himself since you returned. He’ll be glad to know you’ve awakened.”
Dear Hiram. How she missed him.
“I’ll send him to you if you’d like,” he continued.
“Aye, I would. And the Hin’dar Rhule?”
He looked away and she knew the answer. “The volcano did a lot of damage.”
Tears burned the backs of her eyes as she nodded. “I’ll want to see it for myself.”
“I knew you’d say that. I can take you back.”
“When?”
“Soon. When you’re healthy. Nero seems to be hanging around lately. I think he must like you.”
“What of Aura and the others?”
He shrugged. “They returned to wherever they came from. I suppose they live somewhere with the Fae and didn’t wish to be parted from them. Derron and Elyne have returned to their kingdom.”
“And the Fomorians? What of them?” It was the first she’d thought to ask him of the wretched race that had destroyed her people.
“Cormac came through. He and his sorceress sent them through the Barrier into the Unseelie realm.”
Grim satisfaction seeped through her. She was glad they were gone. All of them.
“Cormac, though, he hasn’t fared so well. He was injured during the fighting.”
“Where is he now?”
“Here. Recovering. I allowed him to stay because he managed to hold up his end of the bargain. We are rid of the Fomorians.”
“But he didn’t make it through?”
“He was weakened from being attacked. His sorceress thinks they can go to the Unseelie realm once he’s recovered.”
“I see.” She was ready to be rid of all things Fomorian. Even Cormac. “How long have I been out?”
“Several days.”
“Days?” she repeated, surprised to hear it. She’d been in this bed for days and she hadn’t even known it?
“You’re probably famished.” He grinned, rose and walked over to the tray. He poured a tankard of water which made her suddenly realize how bloody thirsty she was. When he brought it to her, she took a deep draw on the cool liquid.
“Thank you.”
“And thirsty, too, I take it.” He smiled again, though the smile didn’t seem to reach his eyes this time.
An uncomfortable silence settled between them. She knew what he was thinking. She was thinking it too. When were they going to talk about their fight? The thing that came between them just before battle? He knew she regretted her vows. But facing Lorcann, seeing the volcano erupt had changed something inside her.
She reached for him, placed her hand over his. “Andahar—”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Laerwen.”
“But I want to.”
“But it’s not necessary. You did what you had to do. What you felt you had to do. I may not be able to understand that but I can respect it. I wish you had confided in me before, though.”
There was no mistaking the pain in his voice, how hurt he sounded. Hurt she had put there. Hurt she could probably never take away. Mayhap, though, she could make up for it.
“I’m sorry. I thought it was something I had to do alone. You seemed so...determined to keep me out of harm’s way. When you changed the plans, when you decided to go with the surprise attack, I knew I had to alter my plan too. That’s why I decided to take Aura and find Lorcann myself.”
Andahar clasped her hands between both if his. “I know you’ve thought you were alone since the attack on the Hin’dar Rhule. But Laerwen, you have never been alone. You’ve always had me.”
Damn him. In four words, he made the guilt swarm to the surface.
She had always had him. And she was too blind to see it. And now it could be too late for them. She blinked back the tears that wanted to come, trying to remain strong. The last thing she wanted to do was fall apart here in front of him.
He released her hands and stood. “I’ll leave you to eat and rest. When you feel up to it, I can have a bath brought up for you.”
Before she could reply, he walked to the door and left.
As the door closed behind him, she could no longer hold the tears at bay. She put her face in her hands and wept.
* * *
ANDAHAR WALKED BRISKLY down the corridor away from Laerwen’s bedchamber. The only sound was that of his boots on the wood floor as he made his way back to his own solitude.
He slammed the door behind him, leaned against the door and blew out a heated breath. When she had passed out in his arms on the back of Nero, he had feared the worst. She had been so pale, so lifeless, he was sure he’d lost her.
He’d kept a vigil by her side. Refusing to leave. Refusing to sleep. Refusing to eat. He would not rest until he knew she was going to live. Hiram had hovered, demanding to be there when she woke but Andahar had sent him away, making sure he stayed away until she was ready to see him. In truth, he wanted to be the one she awoke to and, as it turned out, she awoke alone. He would never forgive himself for that.
Brom had worked miracles. Her wrist was healing. Color had returned to her cheeks. For the first time in days, she looked alive and well.
Relief had sputtered through him when he saw her sitting up in bed. He tried hard not to make eye contact with her at first but he saw her expression. That look of hope and something else—love. Her cheeks flushed pink when he entered the room with the servant girl. She had sucked her bottom lip between her teeth—though she hadn’t realized it—and looked delighted to see him.
Gods, he loved her. How could he ever get it through her thick skull that he was madly, passionately, forever in love with her? The woman drove him mad but he could never help his feelings for her.
A sharp knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. He straightened his tunic and pulled open the door. His brother stood on the other side.
“Cormac is ready to leave,” he announced.
“He must be feeling better then. Tell him safe travels.”
Andahar started to close the door but Eldrin stuck out his foot and stopped it.
“He wishes to speak with you.”
“Why?”
“How should I know? Mayhap to tell you goodbye. He’s waiting on the ground for you. At the foot of the stairs.”
The king heaved a sigh. “Fine then. I’ll see him.”
He followed Eldrin from his chamber, through the corridors, down the winding staircase. Cormac and his sorceress waited patiently for him to arrive. Eldrin halted next to his brother, his hand on the hilt of his sword as if ready to spring into action should the need arise.
Andahar had to admit the mage looked much better too since they returned to the Woodlands. Gweneth had fretted over him for days, worrying that he would die and then where would that leave her? She, like Andahar with Laerwen, had stayed by Cormac’s side, refusing to move until he was mended.
“King Andahar,” Cormac greeted. He stuck out his hand. “The time has come for me to bid you farewell.”
Andahar shook his hand. “Best of luck to you in the Unseelie realm. How will you get there?”
“My lady sorceress has devised a way for us to get through the Barrier.”
She stepped up next to him, slipped her arm around his waist. “We’ll be leaving the Woodlands, though, before I open the portal. It’s safer for everyone.”
“I thank you,” Andahar said with a nod. He recalled seeing the horrific destruction from the air as he tried to get to Laerwen. There hadn’t been anything he could do to stop it from the air. “You aren’t going to flash there?”
“I’m afraid I’ve lost that ability since the opening of the Barrier,” Cormac said. “In fact, I’ve noticed some of my magic has weakened.”
“It took extraordinary power to do what we did, Cormac,” Gweneth said. “You will fully recover in time.”
He turned his attention back to Andahar. “I wish you good luck, health and happiness with the lovely queen of the Hin’dar Rhule,” Cormac said. “Does she know yet?”
He knew the mage referred to the total destruction of the realm. He nodded slowly. “I told her. But she doesn’t yet understand the scale of the disaster.”
“You’ve not told her of the other volcanoes?”
“No. She only knows the one erupted. Not all six in the realm.”
“Will you rebuild then?” Cormac asked.
“I will leave that to Laerwen to decide. I wish you all the best in the Unseelie realm as the Dark King.”
“It will surely be a new adventure for me.” He looked at Gweneth and smiled. “For us.”
They bid them a final farewell and left the Woodlands. It wouldn’t be long before they would be out the gates.
“How do you think Laerwen will react when she learns the truth?” Eldrin asked, his eyes still on the retreating Fomorian and his sorceress.
“She’ll be devastated.”
“When do you plan to tell her?”
“I don’t,” Andahar said.
He had sworn Hiram, her advisor and the one closest to her, to secrecy that he wouldn’t tell her. That he was to be the one to tell her when the time was right. When Hiram had demanded why, he had to tell him the truth. That he was her husband and as such, he would be the one to break the news to her.
The man had looked at him as though he’d grown a second head. And yet, even though Andahar had admitted to him of their secret vows, he had seemed happy for them. Almost relieved.
“She wants to see it for herself. I’ll take her as soon as she’s able,” Andahar said.
“You love her, don’t you?”
He glanced at his brother. “Is it that obvious?”
“It has been since the first day she arrived here in the Woodlands.” Eldrin clapped him on the shoulder. “Take good care of her, brother. As I’m sure you will. My lady and I are returning to the Skye Realm this afternoon. We have business there.”
Andahar nodded and watched as Eldrin headed for the winding stairs.
“Eldrin...what would you think if I told you Laerwen and I were already wedded?”
It seemed to be a day for revealing secrets.
Eldrin halted mid-step and looked at him over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face. “I’d say felicitations are in order.”
* * *
THE ASH CLOUDS COULD be seen for miles. It hurt Laerwen’s heart. And the longer the clouds lingered, the longer it would be before she could return to her beloved home. It had taken nearly a fortnight for the air to clear. By that time, she had healed and allowed Andahar to take care of her. He brought her fruit, cheese and bread. He doted on her. But yet their relationship still had not returned to what it was—warm and easy and comfortable.
By mid-afternoon days after the eruption, Laerwen summoned servants to bring her a tub full of warm water. One of the girls stayed behind to help her bathe and dress. She had decided today would be the day she returned to the Hin’dar Rhule.
Instead of donning her normal garb, she opted for a gown from his realm. She had decided somewhere after breaking her fast she would make it up to Andahar. She was going to prove to him her feelings. That she may have regretted their vows at one time but now she knew she couldn’t live without him. She had to let him know her feelings were true and real. The only way to do that was to show him.
So she chose a gown the color of the sunset. She knew it would go well with her coloring, her hair and her eyes. He had said once her eyes were the color of whiskey.
Whiskey was definitely something she could use about now.
The servant girl helped comb out her hair. She wore it long and loose, letting the waves spill down her back. Even though weakness pressed through her, she hoped she could convince Andahar to take her to her realm. She was desperate to see it.
As the girl left, Hiram paused in the doorway, peering inside. Elation bloomed through her at the sight of him. He stood in the doorway and started at her wide-eyed.
“Good afternoon, Hiram. How do you like it?” She did a little twirl to show off the gown.
He stepped into the room, smiling. “It’s as lovely as you are. I’m glad to see you looking much better, your majesty. How do you fare?”
“My wrist only aches occasionally now.”
“Good. Good. Glad to hear that.”
“I’m anxious to return home and begin rebuilding.”
Worry creased his brow and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. “Aye, of course. But shouldn’t you rest here first? You need to be in top condition before we travel back to the Hin’dar Rhule, your majesty.”
“What’s with the ‘your majesty’ stuff?” she asked. “You’ve never called me that before.”
He blinked, taken aback. “Isn’t that your rightful title?”
She blew out a breath. “Aye, it is. I’m sorry. I suppose I’m a little on edge still after everything that happened.”
“Andahar told me what you did. That you killed the mage and that you nearly lost your life on the volcano.” His expression turned stern, his tone scolding. “You shouldn’t have done that. What if you had died?”
Ah, so this is why he paid her a visit. It’d taken him this long to chastise her for her actions. She couldn’t blame him. She deserved it.
“But I didn’t. And the Fire Elves still have a leader.”
“Good thing too.”
She thought of Andahar and their wedding vows and knew she had to tell Hiram. “And there is something else I need to tell you. I am not the only ruler of the Fire Elves.”
He raised a brow. “Oh?”
“You see....Andahar and I...we...we wed in secret.”
“Did you?” He didn’t try to hide his surprise or the smile that turned up the corners of his mouth. “When?”
“Before we left for the Hin’dar Rhule.” She turned away from him, her hands clasped as she tried not to fidget. “I hope you’re not angry.”
“Laerwen, how I could I be angry with you? When you so clearly have found your one true love.” He stepped next to her, turned her to face him. “I’m terribly happy for you. For both of you.”
“You are?”
“Aye. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because he’s not a Fire Elf.”
“Should that matter so much?”
“No, I suppose not.”
“Does he make you happy? Do you love him?”
“Aye. He does. I do.”
“Then that, my dear, is all that matters. Truly.” He sounded as though he meant it.
“Oh, Hiram. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”
“I think I know.” He smiled, kissed her cheek. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I must prepare for our return to the Hin’dar Rhule. I’ll see you later?”
“Aye.”
As he left, she knew she had to find Andahar and tell him her true feelings.
She stepped out of her bedchamber and paused. Heading down the corridor was Andahar’s sister, Princess Allanna. Usually she saw her with her husband. It was a rare thing to see the two separated from one another. They were always together.
“Queen Laerwen.” Allanna dipped a quick curtsy. “Are you feeling better?”
“I am.”
“We were all so worried about you. Especially the king.”
“He was?” she asked.
“Oh aye. Where are you headed? Mayhap we can walk together.”
“I was actually looking for the king.”
“He would be in his private chamber off the throne room this time of day,” she said. “Why don’t I walk with you?”
The girl hooked her arm in Laerwen’s and led her down the corridor.
“We feared the worst when Andahar returned with you. All that blood...” She shuddered with the memory. “Your tunic was soaked through. He thought you’d been injured elsewhere but was relieved to see it was only your wrist.”
“Aye, only my wrist.” Laerwen nodded agreement. But the girl continued.
“He was so worried about you he would only allow the healer inside the chamber with you. He wouldn’t allow anyone else inside.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He stayed by your side the entire time. To make sure you would be all right. We begged him to get some rest or to even eat, but he wouldn’t. He refused.”
“He refused?” she repeated. Her heart pounded.
“He didn’t leave your side until the morning when you finally awoke. It was the first time he’d changed his clothes. He wanted to bring you food. You’d been stirring. Talking in your sleep. He thought mayhap you’d wake soon. And you did!” She beamed and squeezed her arm.
“I talked in my sleep.”
“You did. Apparently you were having nightmares. Reliving the horrors with that awful mage on the mountaintop. I’m glad you’re all right.”
She was too. She didn’t recall any dreams or nightmares, but it could be buried so deep in her subconscious she didn’t want to remember.
“I had those too,” Allanna said quietly, not looking at her.
Laerwen remembered Andahar had mentioned his sister and her nightmares. She’d had an ordeal, too, with Marath. She would have plunged to her death off the rope bridge if it hadn’t been for Eldrin and Sir Drake. Laerwen wrapped an arm around the princess and squeezed.
“You and I have something in common, then,” Laerwen said. “Our loathing of Fomorians.” The princess giggled. “Could I tell you a secret?”
“Aye, of course.”
“Would you be terribly saddened to know your brother and I are wed?”
Allanna froze and turned to her, her eyes wide. “You are?”
“We are.”
The girl clasped her hands. “I’m so happy to hear that.”
“Truly?”
She nodded. “Truly.” She hugged her hard. “I have another sister.” When she pulled away, she said, “Let’s get you to the king.”
The princess took her hand and led her through the empty throne room to his private chamber. She knocked quickly before shoving open the door. Andahar stood when they entered.
“Your visitor, your majesty,” Allanna said. Then curtsied with a flourish and a wide grin before she backed out of the room and closed the door.
He looked Laerwen over with an appreciative gaze. “I didn’t think you’d be up yet.”
So many things went through her mind. She wanted to tell him she missed him, that she was a bloody fool for pushing him away. That she loved him. That she didn’t regret their vows. That she wanted to spend eternity with him. But that’s not what she said at all.
“I wonder if we could visit the Hin’dar Rhule?”
His brows drew together. “Today?”
She nodded. “Today, if you please.”
His lips thinned. “Are you feeling up to traveling?”
“Aye. I’ve regained much of my strength these last few weeks.”
He nodded slowly. “All right. I’ll call Nero. We’ll meet him near the loch.”
He hadn’t argued with her. He must have known how determined she was and that she would have demanded to go with or without him. Her heart beat with excitement and just a little fear. She had no idea what she would see when they returned.
She followed him from his private chamber, down the winding stairs and to the edge of the loch. She noticed the thick grayish clouds filling the sky. A flicker of warning fear went through her.
They waited in strained silence until the great black dragon came and landed nearby. Andahar helped her climb on his back and settled behind her, holding her close. His warmth pressed into her, giving her comfort. But nothing could still her wildly beating heart.
With a silent command, Nero took flight and headed west.
The farther west they flew, the niggling fear grew stronger. She knew, deep down, something was horribly wrong. That something had happened in her realm.
Nero dropped down toward the land and that’s when she saw it. From the air, she could see the peaks of all six of the volcanoes. And from the peaks of all six of the volcanoes, the tops were caved in and gone, indicating they had all erupted. She could imagine the thick columns of gray-white smoke that must have filled the air. She saw the ash clouds in the Woodlands. She had expected and feared the worst, but nothing could prepare her for this utter devastation.
Her heart broke.
She turned her head so Andahar could hear her. “I want to land.”
“Laewren, I don’t think—”
“Nero, land somewhere safe.”
He stiffened behind her and she knew she’d made him angry. But she had to see the destruction from the ground. She had to take one long last look at the realm before she gave up the hope she could rebuild, that her people would once again thrive here.
Nero followed her command and landed where the encampment had once stood. As soon as he alighted, she slid to the ground. And stood staring at the volcano in the distance. The one that had nearly killed her. The one that had taken Lorcann’s life.
She heard Andahar drop to the ground behind her. But he made no other move. He stood there, waiting.
“You knew, didn’t you?” she asked.
“I did.”
“And you didn’t want to tell me.”
“No.”
“You knew I’d ask to see the Hin’dar Rhule for myself. You knew I’d have to see. To know. That’s why you didn’t argue with me when I asked to come here today.”
“Aye.”
The only sound was that of the wind blowing. She scanned the land, looking at the earth covered in ash and hardened molten rock. It looked gray and sad and nothing had survived.
The desolation was like a knife in the gut.
But she didn’t cry. She’d shed enough tears.
“We can still rebuild,” Andahar said.
She knew that’s what she wanted to hear. Her eyes closed for a moment before she opened them and turned to face him.
“No, Andahar. I don’t wish to rebuild. Nothing and no one can survive here any longer.”
“What will you do then?”
“The Fire Elves may not have a home in the Hin’dar Rhule anymore. But we are a strong people. We will find a new place to live and thrive.” She took a tentative step toward him, placed her hands on his chest. “I hope that place is in the Woodlands.”
“Your people are always welcome there, Laerwen. That’s never changed. No matter what happens between us.”
“And about us...” She stood on tiptoe, brushed her lips against his. “I love you. You were right—I’ve always had you. I was a fool to think otherwise.”
His arms slid around her waist as he pulled her to him. “You no longer regret our vows?”
“No, I don’t. I even have Hiram’s blessing.”
“You told him then?”
She nodded.
His grin was mischievous. “I already told him. It was the only way to keep him out of your room until you recovered.”
“You took care of me.”
“I never left your side. Except that morning to get your food.”
She melted. “I’m sorry I lied to you. Can you forgive me?”
“If you promise never to do it again.”
“I promise.”
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him hard, the joy filling her. “I should also tell you I mentioned our vows to your sister.”
“How sneaky of you. Did my sister approve?”
“She was quite happy with the news.”
His mouth covered hers in an unexpected kiss. She let him kiss her as though they had never kissed before. As though it might be the first and last time. She sighed with contentment. When they broke, her fingers fluttered through his hair. She couldn’t imagine her life without him.
“I may have lost everything, Andahar, but I never lost you.”
“And you never will.”
###