WEEK 44

Eight weeks
that’s it
all that’s left
eight weeks
then no more James
no more Mrs. B
well, if the judge says I’m good,
if the judge says I’ve learned my lesson.
Have I learned my lesson, James?
I think I’ve learned too many,
just way too many to count.

I wish I could do that thing
you know that thing?
The one where people lift up one eyebrow
but not the other?
That’s what I would have done
when Mrs. B said,
Timothy, you have a way with words,
you really should think about giving that speech.
The people at the Carnival of Giving would love it.
Your mom would love it.
I would love it.
Think about it, Timothy.
For me.
For her.
Who do you think I am, Mrs. B?
James?
[eyebrow lift thing goes here]

A school haiku:
So what’s the deal, then?
Your brother, he’s a retard?
That’s when I punched him.

Things were going so well.
That’s when you know to watch out.
That’s when you know Timothy
is going to do something
stupid
stupid
stupid.
But in my defense
you can’t just call people retards.
That’s offensive to everyone
with a brain
and a heart.
And if you’re going to be the kind of person
who is offensive to everyone
with a brain
and a heart,
maybe your mouth deserves
a Carnival of Giving
from my fist.

I know I’m lucky.
I know it.
I didn’t get regular suspended,
I only got in-school suspended.
I wish I had gotten a medal, though.
I wish I had gotten a parade.
I wish it was OK
to punch a kid
for being an idiot
but I guess vigilante justice
is not a real thing
in middle school
or anywhere
really.

I don’t want to hear it.
You made your decision.
That’s the only thing I heard this time
through the closed door
after the phone rang
and Mom tried to hide
again.