‘SO WHAT’S HAPPENED? Have you seen Callum again?’
‘Yes. He’s coming round tonight, in fact.’ Beth unfastened the sphygmomanometer cuff and rolled it up. Now that Polly was pregnant, she had offered to do her friend’s antenatal check-ups. She noted down the blood pressure reading then smiled at her. ‘Close your mouth. You look like a goldfish, gaping at me like that.’
‘Is it any wonder?’ Polly grumbled, rolling down her sleeve. She fixed Beth with a piercing stare. ‘I’ve only been away for two weeks on my honeymoon and look what’s happened. You and Callum are getting all cosy again!’
‘That’s where you’re wrong.’ Beth got up and took the sample of urine over to the workbench to test it for sugar. Peeling off one of the chemically coated strips, she dipped it into the pot. ‘Callum is coming to see Beatrix, not me.’
‘If you expect me to believe that,’ Polly began, but Beth didn’t let her finish.
‘Well, you’ll have to believe it. He isn’t interested in me. He’s only interested in his daughter.’ She tossed the test strip into the bin then sat down again. ‘Everything’s fine—blood pressure, sugar level all normal.’
‘That’s good,’ Polly said distractedly. She leant across the desk, her pretty face filled with concern. ‘Are you sure he’s telling you the truth, Beth? I mean, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was feeding you a line because he can’t bring himself to admit that he’s still crazy about you. After all, he came back, didn’t he? That has to prove something.’
‘He came back to see Beatrix,’ Beth corrected her. ‘It didn’t have anything to do with me. If he hadn’t found out that we had a child then he wouldn’t have bothered, believe me.’
‘It’s so sad. I always thought you two would make a go of it eventually,’ Polly declared. ‘Oh, I know how awful it must have been for you when Callum didn’t reply to your letter, but now you know what happened, are you sure there isn’t any chance of you getting back together?’
‘No. The only reason Callum would want us to get back together is if he thought it would benefit Beatrix,’ Beth said baldly. ‘He isn’t interested in us having a relationship again and neither am I.’
‘I see.’ Polly sighed as she stood up. ‘Well, you know best, Beth, but I still think it’s a crying shame if you two don’t try to work things out. You went through such a lot together and I find it hard to believe that you don’t still have feelings for one another.’
‘I’m not saying that,’ Beth said quietly, feeling a lump come to her throat. It was difficult to admit that she still cared about Callum when he obviously didn’t feel anything for her any more. She held up her hand when Polly went to speak. ‘I do care about him but he’s made it very clear that what we had is over. He even mentioned me meeting someone else.’
‘Maybe you should,’ Polly conceded. ‘After all, if you and Callum really are history then it’s time you moved on. You can’t live in the past for ever, Beth.’
Beth sighed after Polly left. She knew that her friend meant well but the thought of meeting anyone else held very little appeal after what had happened between her and Callum. She had thought that they would be together for ever, that their love could overcome any obstacle, but she had been so very wrong. Did she really want to risk going through that kind of heartache again? Of course not!
* * *
‘Right, Mr Brimsdale, you can put your shirt back on.’
Callum helped the old man into his shirt then went and sat down behind the desk. Arnold Brimsdale was his first patient that morning. At over ninety years of age, Arnold had come into the surgery for his six-monthly check-up. Now Callum smiled as the old man came to join him. ‘Well, I have to say that I wish more of our patients were in as good health as you are, Mr Brimsdale. Your blood pressure is spot on and you’ve got a good strong heartbeat. The only thing slightly amiss is your breathing but so long as you keep using your inhaler, it shouldn’t cause a problem.’
‘That’s good to hear, Doctor.’ Arnold sat down in front of the desk and laughed. ‘I’m hoping to get my telegram from the Queen before I pop me clogs. It’ll look right nice on the mantelpiece, it will.’
‘It will indeed!’ Callum laughed as well. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed the Dales people’s dry sense of humour. He filled in a repeat prescription for Arnold’s inhalers and emailed it to the on-site pharmacy. ‘Unless you have any problems I’ll see you in six months’ time. Don’t forget to collect your prescription on your way out, will you?’
‘I won’t,’ Arnold assured him, standing up. ‘I take it that you’re staying around here then from what you just said.’
‘Yes. I’m covering for Dr Saunders while she’s on maternity leave, but I’m hoping to be taken on permanently after that,’ Callum explained, thinking about the conversation he’d had that morning with Daniel. Although Daniel hadn’t actually offered him a permanent post, it was definitely on the cards and now he just needed to tell Beth. The thought of how she would react to the news made his stomach churn but he managed to hide his unease. ‘The practice could do with another doctor now that Dr Hargreaves has retired.’
‘Aye, that it could, plus that little lass of yours needs her daddy,’ Arnold observed before he took his leave.
Callum sighed as the door closed. Everyone in Beesdale knew he was Beatrix’s father and they were probably waiting to see if he measured up to the job too. He hadn’t exactly got off to a flying start but, hopefully, they wouldn’t hold it against him. At least his colleagues at the surgery knew about Beth’s letter failing to reach him. It could have been very awkward if they’d all thought he had deserted her when she had needed him most. He would never have left if he’d thought there was a chance of her getting pregnant, though. He would have stayed right here and they could have looked forward to the birth of their baby together. How different his life would have been then.
He blanked out that thought because it was pointless thinking like that. He’d done what he had thought was right at the time, and now he had to live with the consequences. Would Beth follow his advice and move on? he wondered suddenly. Part of him hoped that she would while another part rebelled at the thought of her meeting someone else. He sighed as he buzzed in his next patient. If some passing genie could grant him a wish then it would be to have Beth back in his life, Beth and Beatrix, but genies were few and far between in the Yorkshire Dales!
* * *
Beth just had time to tidy up before Callum arrived that evening. They had slipped into a routine whereby he called round after work and spent an hour or so playing with Beatrix. She hadn’t invited him to dinner again, however; it had seemed wiser to keep things on a less familiar footing. After all, Callum wasn’t coming to see her, he was coming to see their daughter, and there was no reason to turn his visits into anything more than they actually were.
Beatrix was delighted to see him each day and held up her arms to be picked up. She had accepted his presence in her life with an ease that Beth envied. Now she sighed as she picked up a pile of clean baby clothes and took them up to the nursery. Even though she knew how silly it was, she was always on edge when Callum was there.
Oh, he never said anything to alarm her. On the contrary, he always confined their conversations to what Beatrix had done. However, just having him in the house made Beth feel very self-conscious. She couldn’t help remembering when they had lived there together and how different it had been. Even though their relationship had been under a lot of strain, there had been good times too. Lots of them.
She pushed that thought aside, not wanting to dwell on it. Leaving the clothes on the changing table, she ran back downstairs, forcing a smile when she found Callum playing a game of peek-a-boo with their daughter. Beatrix was giggling in delight, loving every second of it too. ‘It looks like you two are having fun,’ she observed as she went to join them.
‘We are.’ Callum covered his face with his hands then peeped through his fingers. ‘Peek-a-boo!’
Beatrix laughed so hard that she tumbled over. Beth quickly righted her, placing a steadying hand under her arm as she scrambled to her feet. ‘She managed to walk all the way to the chair on her own this morning,’ she told Callum as Beatrix shuffled her way to the basket of toys.
‘Really?’ Callum sounded impressed. ‘Some babies don’t even attempt to walk until they’re much older, do they?’
‘No, apparently not,’ Beth agreed. ‘Obviously, Beatrix is keen to explore the big wide world.’
‘It must be in her genes,’ Callum replied, laughing. ‘I was always eager to see something of the world.’
‘Yet you ended up here in the Dales,’ Beth said flatly. She sighed but there was no way that she could let the comment pass unchallenged. ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Callum? Moving here to live is going to be a huge change for you.’
‘I’ve lived here before,’ he pointed out.
‘Yes, and it wasn’t exactly a roaring success, was it?’ she shot back as all her doubts came flooding back. She had tried her best to ignore them but it was impossible. At the back of her mind the thought that Callum would eventually grow tired of living in the town nagged away at her. Beatrix would grow to love him and then he would suddenly disappear from her life.
‘I’m not sure I understand what you mean,’ he said flatly. ‘I certainly didn’t have any complaints about my work at the surgery. In fact, Daniel has made it clear that he’s more than willing to offer me a permanent post once Eleanor’s maternity leave has finished.’
It made perfect sense. Daniel would be keen to offer Callum a post at the surgery because he knew that Callum could do the job and that he fitted in. However, it wasn’t that which worried her. ‘I wasn’t talking about whether or not you can do the job, Callum. That isn’t an issue.’
‘Then what’s the problem?’
‘The problem is whether you’ll grow tired of being tied to one place. I got the feeling that you found it rather restricting working here the last time.’
‘Did I ever say so?’ His tone was hard and she sighed. She didn’t want to start an argument but he needed to take a good hard look at what he was planning.
‘No, you didn’t, but I could sense how you felt, tell that you were getting fed up with being in one place all the time.’ She shrugged. ‘I’m sure it was a contributing factor as to why you left. You’d not only had enough of me but you’d had enough of living here as well.’
Callum wanted to refute what she was saying but how could he? The reason he had left Beesdale—left her!—had nothing whatsoever to do with him growing bored with country life. He had got over his desire to move around all the time by then, worked the wanderlust out of his system. However, if he told Beth that then he would have to tell her the truth, that he had left because watching the woman he loved putting herself through such torment month after month had been unbearable.
‘People change,’ he said neutrally.
‘Do they?’ She shrugged. ‘I’ve never really believed that, I’m afraid. You are who you are and that’s it.’
‘Meaning that I’m never going to settle down and one day I’ll decide I’ve had enough and pack my bags and leave again?’ He shook his head, wishing that he could make her understand how wrong she was. ‘It’s not going to happen, Beth. Especially now.’ He looked pointedly at Beatrix.
‘So you’re going to stay purely for Beatrix’s sake?’
‘Yes,’ he said curtly, hating the fact that she didn’t believe him. What made it worse was the fact that he knew it was his fault too. He had left her, so she was bound to have doubts.
‘And how long will it be before you come to resent it, resent Beatrix because you feel that you have to stay for her sake?’ She shook her head, the soft blonde curls dancing around her face. ‘Don’t say it won’t happen, Callum, because I know that it will.’
‘You know no such thing!’ he exploded because it hurt to know what she thought about him. He leant forward, feeling his senses whirl as he inhaled the scent of her shampoo and was suddenly transported back in time. The familiar fragrance unleashed a flood of memories as he recalled all the other times he had smelled it when Beth had stepped out of the shower each morning and into his arms...
‘Just because I left you, Beth, it doesn’t mean that I’ll leave our daughter,’ he said harshly, needing to rid his mind of such dangerous thoughts. ‘I love her and I’ll always be here for her.’
She drew back abruptly and he frowned when he saw the pain in her eyes. ‘Then let’s hope you mean what you say this time, Callum. Now I think it’s time you left. I have to be in work early tomorrow for the team meeting and I need to put Beatrix to bed.’
Callum wasn’t sure what he’d said, although it was obvious that he had upset her. However, short of trying to prise it out of her, there was little he could do. He said his goodbyes and left, taking his time as he walked back to the surgery. He headed straight round to the back where there were steps leading to the flat above. He had moved in the previous week and was slowly settling in. Fortunately, the flat was fully furnished so he hadn’t needed to worry about furniture, although he would have to do so when he bought a place of his own.
He sighed. He had moved around such a lot that he had never collected many belongings. When he and Beth had got married she had been amazed to find how little he owned apart from some personal items—clothing and books, that kind of thing. However, if he bought a house then he would have to furnish it and make it comfortable for Beatrix when she came to stay with him—if she came to stay with him, he amended swiftly.
He frowned. What on earth had he said to upset Beth so much?
* * *
Beth arrived at the surgery the following morning just as Daniel was unlocking the doors. He waved to her then went inside to switch off the alarm. Beth took a deep breath as she got out of her car. She’d hardly slept and she felt tired and drained. Although she knew how stupid it was to have let it affect her, that comment of Callum’s had really thrown her. He couldn’t have made it any plainer if he had spelled it out for her that he had never really loved her at all. It made her wonder if everything she’d thought they’d had together had been a sham. The idea that she had been fooling herself about how Callum had felt about her was excruciating, but she had to face up to it. She may have loved him with every fibre of her being but it appeared that he had never felt the same way about her.
Daniel had the kettle on by the time Beth made her way inside. He looked round and grimaced. ‘Mia had us up all night so I’m in need of a strong dose of caffeine to get me going.’
‘Me too,’ Beth agreed fervently, earning herself a quizzical look. ‘It was one of those nights when you just can’t seem to settle,’ she explained hastily, not wanting to go into the whys and wherefores of why she’d been awake. ‘What was wrong with Mia anyway? I saw Eleanor at the shops the other day and she told me that Mia was sleeping through the night now.’
‘Normally, she does, but she had a touch of colic and we couldn’t get her settled.’ Daniel spooned coffee into the machine and switched it on. ‘Needless to say, she was fast asleep this morning when Eleanor and I had to get up.’
‘Typical!’ Beth drummed up a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as forced to Daniel as it did to her. She looked round when she heard footsteps coming along the corridor and felt her heart jolt when Callum appeared.
‘Ah, coffee. Great stuff,’ he declared, coming into the kitchen. He nodded to Beth then turned to Daniel and started to tell him about a call he had made the previous day.
Beth frowned. Although she had been upset when Callum had left her house last night, she was sure that she had hidden it. However, there was no denying that there seemed to be a definite atmosphere all of a sudden. Despite the way he was regaling Daniel with the tale of what had gone on, Callum looked uneasy and it wasn’t like him. Beth chewed it over but she was no closer to finding an explanation by the time the rest of the team arrived. Once everyone had a drink they adjourned to the meeting room. Beth found herself sitting next to Owen Walsh, who had recently taken over the running of the on-site pharmacy. He smiled when she sat down beside him.
‘Hi, you must be Beth. It’s nice to meet you at last.’
‘And you too,’ she replied, taking an immediate liking to his open and friendly manner. ‘How are you settling in?’
‘Fine. Everyone’s been very welcoming, I’m relieved to say.’ He grinned at her. ‘I was a bit worried in case people saw me as an incomer and were a bit sniffy about me taking the job, but they’ve been great.’
‘Beesdale is a really friendly little town,’ she assured him. ‘I found everyone very welcoming when I moved here. The only downside is that the locals love to know everything about you, so if you have any skeletons in your cupboards then be warned. They will find out!’
‘Thanks for the advice.’ Owen laughed. ‘I’ll make sure I fit some strong locks to my cupboards.’
Daniel called the meeting to order then so Beth turned her attention to what was being said. There was always a lot to get through and there was no time to waste. Marie was having problems with the computer and Daniel asked her to phone the IT specialists so they could check it out as it was vital to the smooth running of the surgery.
Beth’s gaze moved on around the rest of the group, coming to a halt on Callum, who was sitting off to her right, and she felt her breath catch when she realised that he was watching her. Just for a moment their eyes met before he looked away but she could feel her heart racing. What had she seen in his eyes? For a second it had looked almost like pain but that couldn’t be right. Callum didn’t care about her; he never really had cared. Yet no matter how many times she told herself that, it was hard to believe it.
* * *
Callum couldn’t believe the agony he felt as he watched Beth laughing with Owen Walsh. He clenched his hands, forcing down the pain. He knew he should be glad that she looked so happy as she sat there, listening to what Walsh was saying, but it was impossible. He didn’t want to see her enjoying some other man’s company. He wanted her to enjoy his! And it was pure unmitigated torture to have to sit there and pretend that he didn’t care. When Daniel asked him a question, it took a tremendous effort just to string together an answer.
The meeting came to an end at last and Callum made his escape. He went straight to his room and brought up his morning list on the computer, sighing in frustration when halfway through the screen went blank. Leaving his desk, he went through to Reception where Marie was struggling to get the system working again.
‘It’s no good,’ she declared, turning to him. ‘I can’t get it going. I’ll have to phone the IT guy to see if he can sort it out. In the meantime, we’ll have to go back to the old system of giving everyone a number when they arrive.’
‘Can we still access their notes?’ Callum asked, glancing over his shoulder when he heard voices in the corridor.
‘I doubt it,’ Marie admitted. ‘The whole system seems to have gone down. I’ll have to dig out everyone’s paper file, although I’m not sure how up to date they are.’
‘What’s happened?’
Callum steeled himself when he heard Beth’s voice. It took every scrap of willpower he could muster to turn and face her. ‘The computer’s packed up completely now so Marie’s going to get straight on to the IT guy. In the meantime, we’ll have to use the paper files to check the patients’ notes.’
‘I’d better check the pharmacy computer,’ Owen Walsh declared anxiously. He touched Beth’s arm. ‘I’ll give you a call at the weekend, if that’s all right?’
‘Yes. Fine. I’ll look forward to it,’ Beth replied, smiling at him.
Callum counted to ten but he still couldn’t manage to hold back the question that was clamouring to get out. ‘Why is Walsh going to phone you?’
‘To make arrangements for us to go out for dinner some time,’ Beth replied coolly. ‘Although I really don’t see what business it is of yours, Callum.’
‘It’s my business if it impacts on Beatrix,’ he said harshly.
‘I think it’s up to me to worry about that, don’t you?’ She turned to Marie, ignoring him as she asked the receptionist’s advice if any patients from the Larches turned up at the Hemsthwaite surgery and she couldn’t access their notes.
Callum went back to his room, his temper soaring. Why, for two pins he would ban Beth from going out with Walsh, he thought furiously, then sighed when he realised how ridiculous it was to think he could do that. He had no control over what Beth did or with whom she did it either and the thought cut right through him. The idea of her meeting someone else might have been fine in theory, but the reality was very different. He took a deep breath, knowing that he had to rein in his emotions. If he didn’t do so then Beth might decide to cut him out of her life altogether and he would never see her or Beatrix again.