Chapter 12

Two Princes and a Princess

‘Who should we see first?’ I asked.

Sennufer uncurled from his bow. ‘Prince Methen is the oldest son of our late king, Oh Wondrous One,’ he said.

‘Then why isn’t he king?’ I enquired. ‘I thought the oldest son always became king.’

Sennufer shook his head. ‘Not here, Oh Wondrous One. The king chooses his successor from any of his relatives or children. But our Royal Lord was swallowed by the crocodile before he could make his choice.’

I looked at Sennufer closely. Was there something he wasn’t telling us? But his face looked polite and expressionless.

‘Well, we’d better see Prince Methen, then,’ I said. ‘This is going to be cool! I’ve never met a prince before. Well, except for phaery princes. Lead on, Mr Sennufer!’

It wasn’t far to the next palace. Through more gardens, around more ponds and under more colonnades. Phredde fluttered above me and Bruce hopped at my side and everywhere we went everyone bowed down low and it felt great.

‘Hey,’ I said. ‘Is there a throne room here? With a big gold throne and stuff like that?’

‘Yes, Oh Wondrous One,’ said Sennufer. ‘But we won’t find His Royal Highness there. He’ll be in the Royal Kitchens.’

‘The kitchens? Is he having a snack, or what?’

‘Prince Methen is official Lord of the Palace Kitchens. He is very fond of kitchens, Oh Wondrous One,’ said Sennufer expressionlessly.

‘Me too,’ I said. I liked the sound of this prince a lot. ‘Kitchens are where you find FOOD!’

We went through another colonnade and suddenly even MORE people were bowing to us as we passed into yet another garden and …

‘The Royal Kitchens, Oh Wondrous One!’ announced Sennufer.

‘Huh?’ I said. I gazed around.

‘I thought the kitchens would be a big gloomy place under the palace, like the kitchens back in Phaeryland!’ whispered Phredde, perching on my shoulder.

I nodded. At first glance this place looked more like a garden than a kitchen. There were fruit trees all along the mud-brick walls and rows of herbs and vegetables with muddy channels of water between them, and a long tiled pool just like the one in the garden they’d given me. But when you looked closely you could see high-domed things I guessed must be ovens. Ovens made of — you guessed it — hard mud.

There were tables too, spread with dead birds and piles of feathers and chopped up vegetables, and under the trees a whole row of women sat grinding stuff in big stone bowls.

‘Look at that!’ whistled Bruce.

I looked. Down the other end of the garden a big fat SOMETHING was roasting on a spit above a giant bed of coals, with two kids either side turning the spit and basting it with some sort of oily stuff.

‘What is it?’ I whispered. I’d never seen so much roasting meat on one animal before!

‘Ahem,’ said Sennufer. I turned back to him just as he bowed down again, but not to me this time. ‘Greetings, Oh Noble Prince,’ he intoned. ‘Eldest Son of Our Beloved King Ka, Lord of the Palace Kitchens, Guardian of the Palace Storerooms.’

‘Oh, wow!’ I whispered, trying not to stare.

Prince Methen was handsome. I mean he was gorgeous! He had long black hair and this cute beard on his chin and big brown eyes. His chest was bare except for this enormous gold necklace and all he wore, apart from gold bangles on his wrist and ankles and gold sandals, was this white sarong thing. Even his knees were gorgeous!

He grinned at me. ‘Ah,’ he exclaimed. ‘So this is the wondrous heroine who is going to choose the next king!’

‘Or queen,’ I said, gazing into his brown eyes. ‘Wow!’

He frowned. ‘Wow?’

‘It’s just an expression,’ I said hastily. ‘You’re the first prince I’ve ever met.’

He smiled again at that. He had the biggest, whitest teeth I’ve ever seen, except on Mrs Olsen, but she’s a vampire and that doesn’t count. ‘I hope I’m not a disappointment!’ he said warmly.

‘Oh, no!’ I said breathlessly.

‘No way,’ agreed Phredde. Her eyes were wide too.

I suddenly remembered to do introductions. ‘This is my Official Phaery, Phredde,’ I informed Prince Methen, ‘and this is my Official Frog, Bruce.’

‘Hi,’ said Phredde. I noticed she’d just PING!ed her hair tidy.

‘I’ve never met an Official Phaery before,’ said Methen smoothly. He smiled up at her as she fluttered above him. ‘And you are certainly not a disappointment either.’

‘Hi,’ said Bruce flatly. For some reason he didn’t seem as impressed as Phredde and I. ‘What’s that?’ He nodded over at the big hunk of meat on the spit.

‘That!’ said Prince Methen enthusiastically. ‘That’s a stuffed roast hippopotamus.’

‘Hippopotamus!’ I gulped. ‘Can you really eat hippopotamus!’

‘Of course,’ said Prince Methen. ‘If it’s prepared by a really good cook. I am,’ he added, ‘a very good cook. You might say’ he grinned again, ‘a really surprising cook. The roast hippopotamus is stuffed with grains and herbs and basted with olive oil — that’s a really rare oil they produce in Palestine, north-east of here. It’s made from this fruit called …’

‘Olives,’ I interrupted. ‘Yeah, we know olives. They go on pizzas.’

Prince Methen frowned. ‘Pizzas?’ he queried. ‘What is a pizza?’

I grinned. ‘Show him a pizza, Official Phaery.’

PING! A giant tomato and olive pizza with extra anchovies appeared on one of the tables.

Prince Methen stared. Well, EVERYONE stared, actually. I thought one of the servants was going to fall into the pool! You’d think they’d never seen a pizza appear out of thin air before!

‘Have a slice,’ I offered.

Prince Methen pulled a dagger out of the belt of his sarong (a gold dagger with jewels, naturally), sliced off a hunk of pizza and chewed it thoughtfully. A smile spread over his entire face.

‘Magnificent!’ he cried. ‘Never have I tasted such a fabulous creation!’ He smiled down at me, then up at Phredde. ‘And never have I met a more wondrous heroine or more graceful phaery!’

‘Huh!’ said Bruce. ‘Exactly how many heroines and phaeries have you met?’

Prince Methen’s smile slipped a bit. ‘Never have the tales told of such beautiful heroines or phaeries,’ he amended. ‘Your loveliness makes the very flowers pale and brings joy to all in my palace.’

‘Your palace?’ demanded Bruce. ‘I thought it was Pru who was going to choose whose palace this was going to be?’

Prince Methen beamed at me. ‘And rightly so! Who better to choose the next king than someone as wise as she is beautiful. But,’ his smile sort of glowed at me and Phredde, ‘as the eldest son, who better to take Father’s place?’

‘He’s got a point,’ said Phredde.

I nodded.

‘Huh, he’s up himself,’ muttered Bruce. I ignored him.

‘You’re probably right,’ I said to Prince Methen. ‘But we’d better see the others first. Just to be fair, you know.’

‘No one could be as fair as you,’ said Prince Methen smoothly. ‘Oh, and when you do make me king,’ his smile was even warmer, ‘I shall be very, very grateful. I know how to reward my … friends …’ He smiled his gorgeous smile again. ‘Now, I must get back to my sauce. It’s to go with the roast hippopotamus. Just a simple blend of sesame seeds and cress, I think …’

I frowned. It seemed, well, a bit odd for a prince to like cooking this much.

‘Do you do a lot of cooking?’ I asked politely.

The smile shone again. ‘Of course! It’s most … useful,’ he concluded, with a glance around the servants. Suddenly they all bowed down, but not before I’d caught a look on Sennufer’s face that was … odd.

What was going on, I wondered. Why would a prince — the eldest son — be so fond of cooking?

But hey, it was a great hobby, though I supposed he wouldn’t have time to do much hippopotamus stuffing when he was king and had to lead the army against the Marsh Dwellers. But anyone who liked food as much as me and Phredde had to be good!

‘Um, just one other thing,’ I added.

Prince Methen turned his gaze on me again. ‘Yes, Oh Wondrous Pru, fair as the sky at dawn?’

‘You don’t know anyone called Fluffy, do you?’

Prince Methen frowned. ‘Fluffy. Fluffy. That wasn’t the soldier who got trampled in the hippopotamus hunt was it?’ he asked Sennufer.

‘No, Gracious Highness,’ said Sennufer. ‘His name was Sethamnet.’

‘Sorry, Oh Joy of Springtime,’ said Prince Methen. ‘I can’t recall any Fluffies at all.’

‘Never mind then,’ I said. ‘Let’s go see Prince Narmer.’