Chapter 7

Out of the Time Tunnel

Light. Dazzling golden light, so bright I thought a million torches were shining in our faces. There was nothing in the world but light. Then slowly I realised that it was just ordinary daylight, glaring at us after the dimness of the tunnel.

The tunnel! I spun around, just as the grey nothingness swallowed the last centimetres of the tunnel. Now there was just a rocky cliff, hot and solid behind us.

‘!’6 someone chanted.

‘Huh?’ I blinked and looked around.

We were in a dry gully, with high bare hills around us and the cliff behind. A crowd of people knelt before us on the hard red dirt. They had brown skin and short black hair, and were all dressed in funny white sarong-like things.

‘!’ chanted the crowd.

‘What’s going on?’ I demanded. ‘Are we in Ancient Egypt?’

‘I think so,’ said Bruce slowly.

‘Why are all these people bowing down in the sand then?’ I insisted.

Phredde shook her head beside me. ‘Don’t ask me,’ she said. Bruce shrugged, which did funny things to his froggy shoulders. ‘No idea either,’ he said.

‘But you’re the expert on Ancient Egypt!’

‘One assignment doesn’t make me that much of an expert!’ Bruce protested.

‘I can’t even see any pyramids!’ I complained.

‘The Pyramids aren’t built yet. Besides, there weren’t pyramids all over the place!’ said Bruce. ‘Most of them are at Giza.’

‘Where’s Giza?’

‘Dunno,’ said Bruce. ‘But I bet it’s not here.’

‘ …’ the crowd chanted again.

The crowd sounded like it was getting a bit impatient even though their faces were pressed almost into the sand. I pressed my translator bracelet.

Suddenly the words made sense.

‘Hail to The Wondrous One, The Glorious Heroine, She Who Walks Through Rock, She Who Has Come From Afar!’ the crowd chanted.

‘Hey,’ I said, ‘they mean me!’ I grinned. ‘The Wondrous One’ sounded a lot better than ‘Prudence! Pay attention,’ from Mrs Olsen or ‘Hey, Pruneface,’ from my brother Mark.

‘Hi everyone!’ I yelled to the kneeling crowd. ‘I’m glad to be here!’

The translator must have worked both ways because a bloke in front of the crowd stood up. He was really old — older than Dad, even older looking than my Great Uncle Ron. His face was all sunk in wrinkles and his hair was grey and straggly, except for this funny beard in the middle of his chin, which looked like it had been dyed really black.

‘Hail, Wondrous One!’ he chanted. ‘Hail, Oh She Who Comes From Afar, She Who Walks Through Rock, She Who is the Heroine, Who Comes to Help Us in Our Time of Trouble.’

‘Just call me Pru,’ I offered.

He blinked. ‘All hail, the Wondrous Pru, she who …’

‘No,’ I said patiently. ‘Just Pru. No need to add the other bits.’

‘All hail the Pru,’ he said uncomfortably. ‘And hail too to …’ he stared at Phredde and Bruce as though he’d never seen a phaery or a giant frog before.

‘This is my, er, my Official Phaery,’ I said airily. ‘All us heroines have Official Phaeries. It’s in the rules.’

‘What about me?’ demanded Bruce.

‘You’re my Official Frog,’ I said. ‘That’s in the rules too.’

The bloke looked like he was about to faint from shock, but he continued bravely. ‘All hail, the Pru and …’

‘Phredde,’ said Phredde, fluttering her wings.

‘And Bruce,’ croaked Bruce.

‘All hail, the Pru and the Phredde, the Official Phaery of the wond …, er, the Pru, and the Bruce, the Pru’s Official Frog!’ The old guy looked a bit stunned, but at least he got our names right.

‘All hail the Pru and Phredde and Bruce!’ cried the crowd, still bent down low.

‘Hey, I like this,’ I said. ‘What now?’

The old guy bowed again. ‘I am Sennufer, oh Wondrous, er, Pru. I am Mayor of the City, Guardian of the Royal Granaries, Keeper of the Royal Fields and Gardens and Protector of the Royal Oxen.’

‘Queen Fluffy’s?’ I asked.

Sennufer frowned, sending his wrinkles into overdrive. ‘Fluffy? I do not know the name. No, I was the servant of our Royal Lord King Ka. Alas, he died three days ago.’ Old Sennufer shook his head sadly. ‘It was a terrible illness!’

I frowned. ‘Your king got sick and died?’

‘No,’ said Sennufer. ‘The King was eaten by a crocodile. The crocodile got sick — a terrible case of indigestion. But Our Royal Lord had not yet appointed his heir! We have no king or queen.’ He stared at me meaningfully. ‘Yet.’

For a moment I thought he meant me. But there was no way I could be Queen of Ancient Egypt — I mean I haven’t even finished school yet and, what with homework and adventures and stuff, I don’t have time to go round ruling Ancient Egypt. Then suddenly it struck me.

‘I get to choose the next king or queen? Cool!’

Sennufer bowed again. I hoped he didn’t have arthritis like my Great Uncle Ron because all this bowing would be really hard on his back. ‘That is what the oracle foretold! A great heroine will come out of the rock and she shall be the one to choose the king or queen!’

‘Cool!’ I said again. ‘No worries!’

This was going to be so easy! I’d been a bit worried I’d have to fight a monster or an evil wizard or something, which would have been no real hassle, of course. With Phredde’s and Bruce’s magic to help me I could have zapped a whole mob of evil wizards in no time at all! But this sounded even easier.

‘Um.’ Sennufer looked worried. ‘Would the Wondrous One mind choosing a new king or queen fast?’

‘Sure,’ I said. ‘But why the hurry?’

‘King Ka’s scouts said the Marsh Dwellers are planning to invade. We need a king or queen to lead the troops, to keep our city and its fields safe!’

‘Don’t you worry,’ I said. ‘I’ll choose you a FANTASTIC king or queen! But first things first,’ I added, as my tummy grumbled louder than a volcano, which was embarrassing as I wasn’t sure if wondrous heroines rumbled. ‘Is there a pizza shop anywhere around here? I’m starving.’

‘Me too,’ said Phredde. (Phaery tummies never rumble. Not that you can hear anyway.) She gazed around the crowd. ‘I could PING! a pizza up,’ she added, ‘but I’d have to PING! one up for everyone and I don’t know what sort they’d like. Maybe ancient Egyptians don’t like anchovies.’

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘They might not even like sausage and pineapple! Alright, Mr Sennufer, take us to the palace and pizza! But don’t bother bowing,’ I added, as he began to touch his toes again.

He hesitated. ‘No bowing?’

‘Nope. You might slip a disc.’

He frowned. ‘A disc … And what is pizza?’

‘Food,’ I said. ‘Tucker. Belly fodder. Yum-yums. Stuff that goes in one end and gets transformed into bigger and better heroines but with a bit of the yuck left over coming out the other end. Lunch!’

Sennufer clapped his hands. ‘We will take you to the palace at once! Bring the Wondrous One’s litter!’

‘Huh?’ I said. What was he doing? Calling for a great pile of rubbish? Or maybe he meant kitty litter!

Well, it turned out that it wasn’t either of those sorts of litter. The crowd got to their feet and made way for this great bed-like thing with purple cushions and two long poles sticking out each end for these big muscular guys to carry.

The guys’ muscles shone in the sunlight, like they’d been polished with mum’s wonderwax, but I didn’t look at them too long in case Bruce got jealous. At least I hoped Bruce would have got jealous if I stared at the guys holding the litter. He’d never actually said that I was his …

Anyway, where were we? Right, on our way to the palace with four muscled hunks and a crowd of ancient Egyptians.

I climbed into the litter and sat back on the gold and purple cushions. Bruce hopped up on one side of me and Phredde flew down on the cushion on my other side, and everyone bowed down again except the guys carrying the litter, which was a good thing because if they’d bowed down they would have tipped the litter over and we’d have fallen off.

‘Hey!’ I said. ‘I like this!’ I wriggled down on the cushions. ‘What’s this?’ Something was sticking into my back. I rummaged round and there was this thick brownish paper among my cushions.

Somehow I knew what it was going to say.

‘Welcome!’ it said. ‘Signed, Fluffy, Queen of the Nile.’

‘!’ I said.