‘There you go, that’ll get you glowing.’ Jonah handed April her coffee over the portable coffee stand in Miracle Park, where a crowd was beginning to form.
‘Nice pun,’ she replied. ‘So do you ever get days off?’
Maybe she should try her luck with a younger man, and one whose only vice (that she knew of) was coffee.
‘Days off? What are they?’ He furrowed his brow.
‘I know the feeling. Though Mondays are working out well for me now.’
‘And let me guess, you spend them doing other business work?’
She shrugged. ‘Maybe a little.’
‘The joys of running a business, eh?’ he said. ‘My parents do most of the work so I’m lucky, though I help out a bit. But one day they’re going to retire so I’ll have to decide if I want to take over the business completely.’
‘You’re young, though, do you want that kind of commitment?’
Or any commitment? What was she doing?
‘Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll see where life takes me. Might head back overseas sometime too.’
Yeah … too young. Needed to go live his life and be free to do as he pleased.
‘Hi there,’ April said to a customer who approached her candle stand. The middle-aged woman eyed the colourful display and April tried not to hover and watch, knowing that customers often liked to take their time and see what they were drawn to.
‘How much do I have to spend to go in the competition draw?’ she asked.
‘One entry for every twenty dollars you spend at any of the stalls here tonight,’ said April. ‘The winner will be drawn at 8:30 pm.’
‘Is that café any good?’ she asked. ‘I’m new in town.’
April gestured at Jonah. ‘Absolutely, Jonah here works at Café Lagoon, and he’ll most likely serve the winner’s free dinner for two.’ She smiled.
‘Oh, sorry,’ said the lady. ‘I didn’t see!’ She picked up a candle pack that was forty dollars and paid for it, and filled out two entry slips.
‘Tell you what,’ said Jonah. ‘I’ll give you an extra entry to welcome you to Tarrin’s Bay.’ He winked at her.
‘Oh gosh, what a lucky woman I am!’ She blushed, then filled out another slip and thanked April and Jonah.
The sound of guitar strings humming turned April’s attention to the middle of the park, beside the walking track. Local musician Barry Reynolds had set up and was about to begin.
‘Shame Drew’s not able to make it too,’ said Jonah. ‘Would have got a bigger crowd.’
‘Drew Williams?’’ April said, even though she knew who he meant. Australia’s favourite singer-songwriter, Tarrin’s Bay born. Though she knew he was in and out of town, she hadn’t yet seen him or met him.
Barry began playing a lively number and a few people gathered around him, while others smiled appreciatively as they walked past and eyed the stalls. Battery-operated candle lanterns hung from the tree near the Wishing Fountain, its branches swaying slowly, the candles emitting a subtle white light. A warm feeling embraced April as she looked around at what she had created. The town was here, local businesses were getting some exposure and new customers, and she was celebrating her store’s birthday, Tarrin’s Bay style. If only Zac could come and enjoy the atmosphere, then he might see that it wasn’t so scary. He would be welcomed, supported, and part of the community. But she knew he wouldn’t just turn up and say, ‘Surprise! I don’t have agoraphobia anymore, I snapped out of it!’ And she already knew he had made a sizeable donation, as she’d received a notification via email from the payment system linked from her website to the charity. It was listed as ‘anonymous’, but she knew it would have been him. The donation had come in a couple of hours after her long text, so maybe her message had had a positive effect? Or maybe he had simply made the donation as he’d promised and nothing else had changed. Anyway, she wouldn’t think of him tonight, she would focus on enjoying the evening as planned.
Belinda arrived and helped to serve customers, and the crowds increased. April, busy with customers, waved to Zoe and Olivia as they walked past and gave her a thumbs up, and her mother waved from one of the bakery stalls. Children ran and played around the park, the playground equipment getting an evening workout.
As Barry’s music played, April was relieved that it didn’t feel uncomfortable. She could now enjoy listening to songs and not think back to that awful day. If anything, now they simply gave her hope for the future.
She noticed her neighbour, Nancy, chatting nearby to the local doctor who lived on the other side of Nancy’s house, Sylvia Greene. Nancy caught April’s gaze and wandered over with Sylvia. ‘Good evening,’ she said. ‘Nice event you’ve got going here.’
‘Thanks,’ said April.
‘Yes, well done,’ said Dr Greene. ‘And it’s great that you’re raising money for the addiction charity.’
‘Every little bit helps,’ April replied. She had considered a charity for those affected by paralysis, to help Kyle, and then one for amputees, but with all that had gone on this year, supporting addiction seemed the most appropriate option. And each year, she’d decided, she would support a different charity to make at least some difference with the life and business she’d built up.
‘And prevention is often better than cure,’ said Sylvia. ‘Although I’ve got a few patients who have successfully overcome addictions and stayed clean or sober. It’s good to see.’
‘Oh really?’ April’s heart twinged with reassurance. ‘That is good to see. Thanks for telling me.’ April smiled.
Nancy leaned over the stall table towards April. ‘The charity is something close to home, isn’t it. I can tell,’ she whispered.
April fiddled with her hair and said, ‘Umm …’ Then she thought, why not. Why should she hold any shame for who her father was. He may have a problem, but he loved her and in the end that was really all that mattered. ‘Yes. It is,’ she said. ‘My father is an alcoholic and will never change. If there’s a way to help stop other families from being affected by the condition, then I’d love to be able to help. Though it’s too late in my dad’s case, maybe the charity can help someone who may be heading down that road to not cross that line into addiction.’
Nancy patted April’s hand. ‘I understand,’ she said.
Sylvia nodded with an expression of understanding concern too.
‘You should join me for a cuppa and chat sometime, dear,’ said Nancy. ‘I make lovely scones.’
April smiled and nodded. ‘That would be great, thank you. I would never say no to scones.’
‘And you can tell me all about that young chap who lives next door to you. I’ve been trying to figure him out whenever I walk past but he doesn’t seem sociable.’
April was uncomfortable discussing Zac with someone she didn’t know well. ‘I think he’s moving away, actually,’ she said. ‘He’s um …’ the most interesting person I’ve ever met … The best lover on the entire planet … The most beautiful kind-hearted man … My soulmate … wait, what?
April’s cheeks flushed warm, and she sipped more of her coffee.
‘He’s um … a nice guy. But he’s been through a lot and likes to keep to himself,’ she said.
‘Have I seen you two conversing over the backyard fence on occasion?’ Nancy narrowed her eyes a little.
‘Yes. Yes you have.’ Let’s hope that was all she could see through her windows.
‘Oh well, maybe he might like to join us for a cuppa sometime too. Before he moves, that is.’
‘Maybe,’ she replied, brushing hair off her face as the breeze flapped it around. Sylvia caught April’s eye and the doctor gave her a knowing glance, like she intuitively knew that perhaps there was something beneath the surface that April didn’t want to discuss. Damn, those doctors were used to assessing people.
‘Anyway, Nancy, weren’t you saying that you wanted to get some candles?’ Sylvia pointed to the display. ‘Those are nice,’ she said, looking at the Jasmine range.
Nancy picked one up to smell it. ‘Oh, that reminds me of my youth,’ she said. ‘I’ll take three.’ She paid and entered the competition. ‘Youth … seems just like yesterday. Time is slipping away, isn’t it?’ she mused. ‘If I could go back, I would …’
‘Would what?’ asked April.
‘Oh nothing, you don’t want to listen to an old lady such as myself waffle on while you’ve got customers to serve.’ She waved her hand.
‘Yes, I do.’ April locked her gaze with Nancy’s.
‘I wouldn’t waste time worrying and trying to plan everything, I would enjoy life for what it is and make the most of every moment,’ she said.
‘Like you’re doing now,’ said Sylvia, and Nancy nodded, then blushed.
‘Definitely,’ Nancy said. ‘And that includes getting to know a lovely chap on Facebook I’ve been conversing with. I think I’m ready to meet him and invite him out or something. He could be a righteous wanker, but he could also be the second love of my life, who knows?’ She held up her hands and both April and Sylvia laughed.
April pondered Nancy’s advice … Stop worrying, enjoy life, make the most of every moment. She glanced around at the vibrant community gathered in the park, as twilight teased into the horizon slowly and effortlessly. Each day would pass, time would pass, and before she knew it she would be Nancy’s age and thinking back on her own past and wondering what she would do differently. She didn’t want to have regrets. She didn’t want to have only half lived.
Yes, she was relieved to have sent that message to Zac, and knew that in reality, her life would turn out perfectly fine without him. But what if she needed to give it that extra boost? What if life was waiting for her to take more of a stand and declare what she really wanted?
What did she really want? Did she just want to go with the flow and let whatever happened happen? Partly, yes, but mostly, no. She didn’t want pain, or hurt, or disappointment. But she did want love. Love and connection. And sometimes you had to take a risk in order to get them. Which meant living life with trust, and without worry.
No more fear or assumptions, she said to herself.
Love, only love.
If there was a chance, she had to take it.
She wanted love, and she wanted Zac.
April got out her phone and turned away from the customers at the stall as Belinda served them. ‘Give me a sec,’ she said, opening up a text message window. She typed:
Me again. Sorry for long text before, but I forgot to add something: I still understand if we go our separate ways, and I thought I was okay with that, and I would be okay, but that doesn’t mean I want it. I know I’ve been a bit of an idiot, okay, a LOT of an idiot, but Zac—please don’t go. Don’t leave. Don’t move. I’m ready now too. I want you. All of you. Scars and all. Let’s be wounded and weird together. Let’s just jump in and go for it.
If you don’t want to, fair enough, I had my chance and may have blown it. But at least by doing this I’ll know that I gave it a shot. And I’ve put my heart on the line, like you did, which was so brave and I can’t believe you did that for me. I can’t believe someone as amazing as you wants, or wanted, me.
So there. I’ve fallen for you. It might even be love, as you said. I’m not used to this, but all I know is that I’m a goner. You’ve swept me up in your world and I don’t want to live anywhere else.
If you still want me, I’m here. Ready and waiting.
April.
When she hit send it was like she was spinning, spinning with the exhilaration of taking a risk, of baring her feelings without knowing how he would respond.
For the rest of the evening she chatted and served customers, caught up with her mum, feeling on such a high she didn’t know how she would get back down. No matter what happened, she was living. Now, she was living.
And when Jonah took to the mic at Barry’s music set-up and asked for everyone’s attention, she smiled a huge smile when he announced the winner of the dinner for two was Nancy Dillinger, her next-door neighbour and reason she had just sent that message to Zac.
Nancy clapped her hands together in delight as she accepted the prize, and then grabbed hold of the microphone. ‘Now, I know you’ll probably all be lining up to have dinner with me, but I already know who I’m taking to dinner, so I’m sorry to disappoint.’ She grinned, and a few people feigned overt disappointment and rejection with frowns and slumped shoulders. Then she caught April’s gaze as she walked away from the microphone and over to April’s stand. Nancy gave her a suggestive wink and smiled, then whispered with a giggle in her ear. ‘Maybe I’ll even get lucky.’