April’s Glow

‘You sure we’re not leaving Belinda in the lurch?’ Zac asked as he stepped out of April’s Glow, April’s beautiful soft hand in his.

‘She’s used to it,’ April said. ‘And besides, she’s a fan, so she’d do anything for you.’

‘Of your blog. She found it. Remember, I mentioned it a while ago when I told you I’d read your blog?’

‘Oh yeah. Huh. I’ve never met any of my fans before,’ he said, chuckling at the word. Then again, he’d never met anyone who’d read his blog, fan or otherwise.

April stopped and looked around. ‘Hmm, do you think you could handle a stroll down the main street? I could take you on a little tour?’ Her eyes held hope but caution.

Zac’s insides felt unsteady. ‘Um, I think visiting your store was enough adventure for one day,’ he said. ‘One step at a time?’

‘Of course, one step at a time. Or two steps for me, because your steps are much bigger than mine.’ She walked two to his one as they went up the hill towards her street.

She gripped his hand tighter and spoke softly, ‘No more slow. We’ve done enough slow.’

He knew what she meant. They’d spent six months getting to know each other, going back and forth, hot and cold, fast and slow, mostly slow, except for that one night, and it was time to amp things up. Life was short and went by fast, there was no point waiting, or wasting time.

‘Hey, I could take you on a proper tour of my house. You haven’t seen it all yet,’ she said.

‘And there’s one room in particular I think you might like,’ she spoke with a teasing tone.

Their walking speed had picked up after her mentioning the house tour, but there was only one room she wanted to be in with him right now. April led him through the living room and down the small hallway, and into her bedroom. The blinds were drawn, and only tiny thin slits of light slid through making faint stripes on her bed.

‘I present to you the master bedroom,’ she said with a flourish of her hand. ‘Built in the last quarter of the twentieth century,’ she added in a posh tour guide voice, ‘it was created by some unknown builder who realised that the occupant or occupants would require a place to rest one’s head at night. As you can see by the presence of the queen-sized bed, it fits the purpose for which it was intended.’ She led him around the side of the bed, next to her bedside table, and trailed her fingers up and down his arms. ‘And also, the room was built with the assumption that it may provide a useful space in which to … how does one say this … get it on, in the comfort of said queen-sized bed.’

The expression of amusement on Zac’s face was utterly adorable. He was both masculine and cute at the same time, and also sexy, and despite knowing him well, still held an air of irresistible mystery.

‘How could we not use the room for the purposes in which it was intended? It would be a waste,’ he said.

‘Indeed,’ she replied, unbuttoning his shirt from the top to the bottom, then spreading it open and exposing his well-defined chest.

He kicked off his shoes, as she removed his shirt. She held it up in the air and swung it around in circles.

He grinned. ‘Doing the stripping cowboy? I thought that was my move.’ He raised his eyebrows.

She hooked the short behind his neck and pulled him close to her, pressing his lips with hers. ‘Cowgirl, perhaps?’ she said, teasing kisses across his cheek, neck and under his ear.

‘Sounds good to me.’ He took the shirt from her hands and flung it behind her onto the floor. ‘Nice shell,’ he said, eyeing her bedside table.

‘Zander, Zeb, Zee … I can’t quite remember his name.’ She furrowed her brow.

‘Will this jog your memory?’ Zac pulled her towards him into an urgent kiss and she fell onto him as he leaned back on the bed.

‘It’s coming back to me,’ she whispered. ‘Oh wait,’ she said, getting back up. ‘I should light my candle.’ She grabbed her gas lighter and held it towards the hope candle on the bedside table. Flame emerged on the well-worn wick, then flickered out. ‘Bugger.’ She tried again. ‘Nope, it’s out.’ She laughed.

‘Not funny, just … interesting.’ She lifted up the candle and breathed in its remaining, sweet candy scent. ‘This candle has lasted so long. It was given to me by my cousin to lift my spirits and give me hope. It gave me the idea for the candle store.’

Zac took a whiff of it too. ‘The smell reminds me of you.’ He tangled his fingers in her hair.

She smiled. ‘It’s like I don’t need it anymore. The hope I needed, I got. It served its purpose.’ She placed the jar back down. ‘So unless you want me to disrupt the flow of our romantic mood by rummaging through my cupboards for a suitable replacement to light our … rendezvous, we’ll have to go glow-less for this one.’

He let out a cute, mischievous chuckle, and she nestled her thighs between his as she stood between his legs against the bed. ‘Oh, don’t worry, I’ll just give you a glow of your own.’ He gathered the hem of her lacy chiffon top and lifted it upwards and off, then gathered her body in his arms and pulled her onto the bed by his side.

‘I think I’m already glowing,’ she replied, with an eager smile of what was to come.

It was exactly like he’d imagined. In bed, her laying on his chest stroking his skin as he played with her hair. No words, just silence. Comfortable, perfect silence. The sun was lower now, shining more of a warm orange, as it filtered through the cracks in the venetian blinds and cast light and dark shadows across their relaxed bodies. Looking down at her, he watched as her eyelashes fluttered gently up and down as she blinked every now and again. Such a simple, automatic response, yet so beautiful. Her fingers moved with a flow and rhythm that calmed him, and as his chest rose slowly up and down, so too did she as she rested on him.

The one he had wanted. The one he had asked for long ago. The one he had waited for.

‘Don’t tell me you’re getting ready to go at it again?’ she asked with a giggle, turning to look up at him as his breathing became faster.

‘No. Well, yes. Maybe, but … hang on.’ He rolled her gently to the side and sat up. ‘Just remembered something. I have to show it to you.’ He got up quickly. ‘It’s at home, I’ll duck over and be right back!’ He grabbed his keys and went for the door.

‘Ah, Zac?’ April propped herself onto her elbow, the sheet embracing her body. ‘I’m more than happy to watch you wander around naked, but the lovely Nancy from next door might see you and freak out.’

He stopped and eyed his clothes on the floor. ‘Oh yeah. I should at least wear something I guess.’ He stepped into his trunks. ‘That’ll do. I’m so used to not being seen that I forget sometimes.’

‘Forget. Please forget,’ April laughed. ‘But maybe not right now, you exhibitionist.’ She flung a pillow at him and he gently whacked her back with it.

‘I’ll forget again when I get back.’ He grinned, then walked out the bedroom door and let himself out the back door to her deck.

‘Hey buddy, not right now,’ said Zac. ‘Important human stuff going on here.’

He stepped onto the low brick wall around the garden and heaved himself up and over the fence and into his yard. He let himself into the house and went to his hall cupboard where he had stored a few small boxes of mementos.

He looked in one but it wasn’t there, then opened the smaller box that held a few photos he’d yet to put up, and a tattered soft teddy bear he’d found in Afghanistan. He was going to give it to the next kid he saw, but then the explosion had happened and changed everything. So he’d kept it, for some reason. Maybe it was symbolic way of bringing Johnny home when he couldn’t for real.

Underneath the bear was a folded piece of paper. He lifted it out and opened it up.

He didn’t even read it before dashing back out of the house. Though he couldn’t remember all the details, he knew the gist of what was written on it, and wanted to experience it alongside April anyway.

He jumped back over the fence, in his undies, waving to Nancy in her house across April’s yard as she peered out the window with a big grin on her face.

‘Sorry, Romes,’ he said, as he passed the cat and went back inside, making his way to the bedroom.

‘That was quick,’ April said. ‘Not that I have any idea what you’re doing and how long it might take.’ She was still laying on the bed, half propped up, her eyes curious and sparkling. ‘Oh, and aren’t you forgetting something?’

‘Huh?’ he said. ‘Oh yeah, I’m forgetting to forget.’ He smiled and took off his trunks then slid back into bed next to her.

He never knew if this day would come. But it was here, and he was as happy as he was when he was a young boy and had discovered girls weren’t so bad after all. But this was much better.

‘When I first went sober, I wrote this.’ He held it out in front so they could both read it. ‘It’s a letter, except at the time, I didn’t know who I was writing it to.’ He slid his free arm around her and held her close. ‘But now I know.’

Dear Soulmate,

I already love you. Even though we’re not yet together, and I don’t know who you are, or whether we’ve met or are yet to meet, I already feel a deep love and connection with you. I woke this morning with a strong urge to write to you, my mystery woman, my future best friend, lover, soulmate.

If you walked into my life right now, I would want you, but I wouldn’t be ready. I will be, one day, but not yet. There are things I need to take care of, things I need to resolve. I need to get my life back on track and be the man you would want to have in your life. That is keeping me going, knowing that you are out there somewhere in this vast universe, and it is up to me to be the best man I can be. Not only for you, but for me.

Maybe you’re on a journey too, finding your way in the world, or overcoming personal trauma or challenges. If you are, I know you’ll come out on top. I can already tell that you’re a strong, inspiring woman. Somehow, I have this sense of you, like we’re already bonded by our future, though it hasn’t happened yet. I feel a kind of promise, a knowing, that you are on your way to me and I am on my way to you. It could be in a year, it could be in five years, who knows? But I trust that perfect timing will be on our side.

I love knowing that as my heart beats, so too does yours. As my lungs breathe oxygen, so do yours. Right this minute. I exist. You exist. And one day we will exist together. I will place my hand on your heart and feel your heart beating, I will be close to you, breathe the same air you are breathing, feel your breath on my skin. You will no longer be a thought, a hope, a dream, but my reality.

If I am brave enough to show you this letter, it means I’ve looked into your eyes and realised that you’re the woman I’ve written this letter to. It will be the most magical moment of my life, knowing that you’re her. And I’ll never take you, or us, for granted. You’re so important to me. Even now, not knowing what you look like, what your favourite food is, or how you sound when you laugh, you’re important. All I know now is your essence, the core of who you are. I can feel that deep in my heart, beating along with my own.

My beautiful partner, always remember this:

I love you.

I loved you before I loved you.

I loved you before we were us.

Thank you for coming into my life, for taking a chance on me, for accepting me. Let’s make every moment count.

Love, Zac.

He finished reading before she did, and so he waited, his heart racing, his hand shaking as it held the letter. And then she turned her head and looked at him, tears brimming at her eyelids and a quivering smile on her lips. ‘To think I almost let you go,’ she whispered, her voice trembling. ‘My beautiful, beautiful man.’ She brought her hand to his face and caressed his cheek, tenderly, urgently, her eyes scanning his face as though taking in every detail. ‘I feel like I’m in a dream.’ She nestled closer into his side.

‘I’m dreaming with you,’ he said, then turned to face her and placed his hand on her chest, over her heart. ‘I can feel it,’ he said. ‘Your heart. Finally here, with me.’ His eyes became warm and he strong emotion welled up inside his own heart, filling him with a love that was even stronger than he’d imagined.

She put her hand over his and held it tight to her chest. Her eyes overflowed with tears and they spilled onto her cheeks. ‘That is most beautiful, magical thing I have ever read.’ She shook her head in awe. ‘You are amazing, Zac Masterson.’

‘It’s like the advice in that book you gave me, to ask for what you want in life and let it manifest. It’s like you wrote this letter, and the universe answered, and led you here,’ she said.

‘Exactly,’ he replied. ‘Amazing. I’m so grateful I moved in next door.’

He chuckled. ‘I’m so grateful you’re a bad cook and needed to keep coming over for dinner!’

‘Hey!’ She flapped the letter onto his face. Then she looked at it again. Her mouth opened wider. ‘Oh my God,’ she said.

‘The date! Look.’ She pointed to the date written at the top, September fifth, one year ago. ‘That was the date of my accident, except it was three years ago now.’ She shook her head. ‘You wrote this on a date that holds such significance to me. What are the chances?’

‘Wow,’ Zac eyed his blue ink handwriting scrawled across the page. ‘It’s not chance, April,’ he said, taking the letter and folding it, placing it under his hand and over her heart. ‘It’s fate. It was always meant to be you.’

And as he wrapped her firmly in his arms while tears flowed down her cheeks, he finally, finally, felt like he had truly found peace and won the war within.

Chapter 29