Morgan glanced down at her phone. She was so late. Taking the Uber to retrieve her car had taken some time. Everyone was waiting for her at the restaurant, and she was over an hour late. Bash had been calling repeatedly. She reluctantly answered.
“I’m pulling up to the restaurant now.” Seconds later, she saw him emerge from the building as she parked. The look on his face told her he was pissed. She couldn’t say she blamed him.
“Where have you been, Mo?” Bash asked. “What the hell was that? You just run out in the middle of your graduation?”
“I felt like I would be sick,” Morgan said. It was only half a lie. Messiah had thrown her world off-kilter and left her stomach in knots. That much was true. “I couldn’t breathe up there. I just needed to get out of there. I just needed some time to myself.”
“Where did you go?” he asked.
“To the cemetery,” she answered. It was a low thing to use her dead family as a cover, but it was one of the few excuses that people would understand. No one would ask anything further after she said that, and she needed Bash to back off. She was drowning in lies.
“Get your shit together, Mo. You’re embarrassing yourself and my family,” Bash said. He turned to the restaurant, and Morgan trailed him. She felt see-through, like everything she had just done, or rather that had been done to her, was written all over her body. She still had Messiah’s scent all over her, and she was filled with shame as she followed Bash into the restaurant.
Alani had reserved the private room in the five-star establishment, and Morgan followed Bash to the section as she pulled on her clothes insecurely. As soon as she walked into the room, everyone in attendance cheered for her. Morgan turned red, and she gave up a fake smile. Her eyes immediately found Ethic’s. He sat at the head of the table, and the stare he pierced her with made her heart tremble. He spoke without even moving his lips. He nodded.
You good?
Morgan sighed because she realized that with him in the room, she was always safe, always secure. She nodded back and smiled. A real smile.
“Congrats, Mo Money!” Bella said, standing to hug Morgan. “My sister did it, everybody!”
The pride in Bella’s eyes made Morgan emotional. She hadn’t always done the right things. She hadn’t always been the girl that Bella could look up to, but this accomplishment was one Bella could aspire to. She moved around the table, speaking to everyone, delivering kisses to cheeks and shaking hands of Christiana’s associates. Morgan hugged Eazy and Nannie, then moved on to Ethic and Alani.
“Thank you so much, Alani, for throwing me this,” she said.
“You deserve it, Mo,” Alani answered.
“He almost done cooking in there?” Morgan asked.
Alani blew out a sharp breath and placed both hands on her round belly. “Almost. A few more weeks. Thank God, because I’m so ready.”
Morgan laughed and moved to Ethic, who stood to receive her.
“I’m proud of you. You know that?” he asked as he held her close. Morgan nodded and pulled back.
“Morgan, we saved you a seat next to Sebastian,” David said.
Morgan rounded the table, and Bash pulled out her chair as she sat down.
“So, Morgan. What’s next for you?”
The question came from the white woman sitting at the other end of the table beside Christiana. A senator for the state and the keynote speaker at graduation.
“I honestly have no idea,” Morgan said, smiling as she moved the tassel to her graduation cap out of her face. She beamed as servers came around serving a five-star meal. She didn’t even know most of the thirty guests seated at the table, but she was happy to have them there. To her surprise, the vibe was easy. She laughed and conversed with her family, and even Christiana seemed to be in good spirits. Morgan tried to imagine her life with Bash. The rest of her days at his side. His baritone in her ear, laughing, praising her. Her family mixing with his. Her twins bouncing around the table, being doted over. This was legacy at this table. It was royalty. There was power of vast proportions present, and Morgan had a seat among the elite. It was one she didn’t even know if she wanted. In fact, she was sure it didn’t suit her at all, and somehow here she sat.
Aria walked in, still wearing her graduation cap, but the gown was gone. She wore a green pantsuit that complemented her skin so well she radiated.
“Hey, everybody!” she greeted. She instantly gravitated to Morgan’s family, hugging Bella and waving to the rest before taking a seat as well.
“I thought you had plans!” Morgan exclaimed.
“You think I’m missing the opportunity to say ya’ fine-ass daddy bought me dinner?” she answered, beaming. She quickly turned to Alani. “Sorry, Alani. I love you, I do, but you know your husband is fine, and he’s clearly married and got a billion kids, but he still fine. Speaking of fine”—Aria turned to Morgan—“where is ya’ fine-ass uncle? Will the good pastor be coming to bless the food? He can bless this plate all day.” Aria lifted a hand like she were praising Jesus, and Alani snickered as Christiana cleared her throat in discomfort. Aria was always the life of the party. The smallest at the table with the biggest personality, she shone in every room.
“Where is Ny?” Morgan asked.
“Can’t show up to Morgan Atkins’s graduation dinner empty-handed.”
Everyone turned their attention to the door, and Morgan rose from her seat. Nyair stood holding a silver Saks bag.
“Ny!” She ran into his arms.
“My bad, Mo. I know I’m late. I had to stop off and make sure I came through right for you,” he said. He held up an envelope that was so thick it wouldn’t close. It was stuffed with hundred-dollar bills. “A bag to stuff the bag,” he said as he handed over the Saks bag. Morgan beamed as she peeked inside to see a new YSL purse.
“I miss you,” she said. “I’m so happy you came. Thank you for the gift, Ny.”
“Wouldn’t miss it, Mo. We real proud of you, baby girl,” he said. “I want to see you more often now that you’re home. Like we used to. Once a week, Mo.” She nodded, and he kissed her cheek and then graciously infected the room. The scent of his cologne made the ladies at the table swoon as he shook hands. A kiss to Alani’s cheek and a gangster’s salute to Ethic before kissing Bella and Eazy. Nyair was energy. He always commanded all eyes when he entered a room. Good looks, charm, and regality followed him everywhere he went.
Morgan watched him work the room. Nyair was still the same. Gracious and welcoming and comforting. She loved him, and as he took a seat on the other side of her empty chair, her heart swelled. Ethic had built a small village for her, for all of them. They had made it to the other side. She remembered her other graduations. At her sixth-grade graduation, only Ethic had been present. At her high school graduation, it had only been Ethic, Bella, and Eazy. Today, however, this table was full of support, and even if only half of it was wanted, she had to give them all credit for showing up. There had been so many days when no one had shown up at all. No one but Ethic.
Morgan took her seat, but before she could get comfortable, she felt Bash’s hand tighten against her thigh. He was squeezing so tightly under the tablecloth that she knew he would leave bruises on her skin. She turned to him, frowning, but she got stuck when her eyes landed on the door.
Ahmeek Harris.
Black pants, tailored fit, black shirt, no tie, and a leather jacket with leather boots. Morgan knew he’d ridden his bike, and she wanted nothing more than to run out of the restaurant and ride off with him.
Morgan’s eyes misted as they met his, but Bash’s hand kept her seated. She felt like absolute shit. She had felt nothing when facing Bash after sleeping with Messiah, but looking at Ahmeek, seeing him, hearing him, he brought the aura of love into the room, and it infected her just by looking in his eyes. She had been disloyal to him. Letting Messiah touch her the way he had, if Ahmeek knew, he would never forgive her. Morgan loved this man. She loved them both, and it was killing her. She couldn’t even breathe as he stood there staring at her. She was transfixed, under a spell. Meek shit, as he called it. He was too good for her. He had come to see her despite how angry he was at her, and Morgan had just finished having sex with another man. She felt horrible. She regretted it now, in this moment; she wanted to take the past two hours of her life back. Rewind the clock and make a different decision. How had she forgotten how much she loved him? How could she do such a terrible thing to him? Even when he wasn’t around … even when he was mad at her, he still loved her; she could feel it in the air. It was so potent it choked her. Everyone at the table felt it too, so they didn’t dare disrespect the moment with words. It was silent, and Bash’s hand was so tight around her thigh, and it hurt so badly that Morgan wanted to scream.
“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Ahmeek stated. “I’ma be quick cuz this ain’t really my scene, but I just wanted to say congratulations, Mo.”
Morgan couldn’t look away, and words evaded her.
The energy between them was loud despite the silence that stilled the room. It was like someone had cast a spell over the room, because no one spoke. The heartbeat of their connection pulsed through the air. It was felt. Morgan could hear it beating in her ears.
I’m fucking up so bad. I’m going to lose him.
She felt so much guilt. She had just given her body to Messiah moments ago, and now Meek stood in front of her, and it felt like he could see her lies. Her eyes glossed as emotion built in her, rising and rising and rising as she bobbed for air in her mind.
“Umm, Meek, why don’t you join us?” Alani said, filling the awkward silence. Meek ran one hand down his head. Morgan waited. Would he stay?
“This is a private dinner; I doubt that’s appropriate,” Christiana added.
“And since I’m the hostess and you’re a guest, I don’t really think your approval is required,” Alani said.
Morgan couldn’t even believe he was there. He had heard her. At Aria’s. He hadn’t forgotten that she was graduating today. Her emotions were already heightened. Messiah had already sent her mind spinning today, but Ahmeek standing in front of her, staring at her like she were the only person in the room, left her breathless. The tension thickened the air as everyone awaited an answer.
“Thanks, but I’ma break out,” he answered without looking to Alani. No one existed but Morgan. She felt it. The intention he looked at her with. The focus. There was so much she wished she could say.
“You came all this way. Might as well have a seat,” Bash said. “We know your neighborhood is nowhere near here. Grab a chair, man.”
Morgan finally broke eye contact as she looked at Bash in shock. The smug look he wore on his face sent Morgan’s temper through the roof. He thought he had the upper hand. He was seated in a five-star restaurant, and his family had a tableful of power sitting among them. Morgan could see the contempt burning in Bash as he sat back in his chair and threw an arm around her shoulder.
“A friend of Mo’s is a friend of mine, right, love?”
Morgan’s eyes widened in alarm. He had never called her that before; in fact, she knew he knew that Ahmeek called her that all the time. It was such a passive-aggressive blow that Morgan interrupted him. “Bash, please stop,” she said in a hushed, pleading tone.
Bash stood, grabbing a champagne flute and holding it in the air. “I’d like to propose a toast. Mo, you have accomplished something great today, and I’m looking forward to building a beautiful life with you. While we have our friends and family here, we might as well make the announcement.”
Morgan squinted in confusion. “Bash, what are you—”
“Come on, Mo, we might as well share,” Bash continued. “The reason why Mo won’t be entering medical school immediately is because we’ve decided to expand our family. After the wedding, we’re going to try for a baby.”
“Ohhh, shit,” Aria whispered, astonished.
Morgan died on the inside.
Mixed reactions erupted from the table, but Morgan only cared about one. The revelation landed like a blow to Ahmeek. She saw the fire coming from him. She detected every bit of restraint he used to stop himself from reacting. He hid it well. The devastation. No one else knew. He was too smooth to show his discontent, but Morgan knew. She felt it.
“Bash, stop,” she pleaded, whispering as she leaned into his ear. “I’m here with you. He gets it. Please just stop.”
“Stop what, love?” Bash asked.
“Stop while you’re ahead,” Ethic added, scratching his head and grimacing like the scene in front of him was hard to watch. He stood from his chair and leaned down to Alani. “I’ma grab a drink at the bar. I’ll be right back, baby.” A peck to her lips before he walked around the table and put a hand on Meek’s shoulder. “Not the time nor place,” Ethic said in a low tone that only Ahmeek could hear.
Ahmeek walked out, and Morgan wanted to go after him, but Bash’s hand was like a vise on her thigh. Morgan looked down into her lap, then up at him. Her vision blurred as he brought a gentle hand to her cheek, then wrapped four fingers behind her neck, pulling her face to his. A kiss. It felt like the kiss of death. He had just killed everything she and Ahmeek were. Or had she done that? Had she done it when she had turned him away? Morgan struggled to put the fake smile back on her face, but she did it. She sat there at Bash’s side, smiling because he wasn’t leaving her any choice. She watched Ethic walk Ahmeek to the bar and then darted eyes over to Alani. Alani sat with an elbow to the table. Her chin rested on top of a closed fist.
“Morgan,” Alani called.
Morgan’s forehead dipped. She was having such a hard time controlling her runaway emotions. She had lost him. She knew it, and it hurt. It hurt more than anything she had ever felt before because it was a hurt she’d chosen. She looked at Alani again. Alani used her finger to lift her own head. A sign.
Morgan nodded and lifted her head, pulling in a deep breath. She had to find her way out of this mess because she couldn’t live without Ahmeek. She needed to tell the truth and ask Ethic for help, but fear stopped her. Fear that he would hate her for exposing his secrets in the first place, fear that he would think she’d done it to be vindictive against his marriage. Fear of being shunned by him altogether. She had pillow talked to Bash in a moment of insecurity, and she was terrified it would be considered betrayal. Morgan watched as Ethic spoke to Ahmeek. She had no idea what was said, and the anxiety from that made her chest tight. She hoped Ethic spoke love and not hate. She prayed Ahmeek could feel her heart and see through her actions because everything she did was screaming fuck him. She watched him walk out and then felt Bash’s lips on her cheek. Everyone resumed the dinner. They just went about their meal as if her heart weren’t breaking, as if her life weren’t ruined. She was in a roomful of people, and no one heard her screams. It was as if she were deaf all over again. Nobody heard her. She was saying no, but no one understood her language.
Morgan was grateful when Ethic switched seats with Nyair for the rest of the dinner. Just having him next to her made her feel a little bit better. Ethic made everything better, which was why she couldn’t lose him. He went into his jacket pocket and pulled out a box and set it on the table.
“For you to open later,” he said. She looked at him in surprise. “When you’re alone,” he concluded.
She nodded and then placed the small gold box in her handbag. She was able to survive the five courses despite the tension coming from Bash. She kept checking her phone to see if Meek would at least text her, but he didn’t, and she knew he wouldn’t. His showing up at all surprised her after what she had done to him. The same way Messiah had sold her a dream only to repossess it, Morgan had done the same to Ahmeek. Messiah’s words had shredded her apart, and she had used the same weapon to disconnect from Meek. She had never felt so low. Never had she loved someone so cruelly. He was an unknowing victim. Her hurt had blindsided him, and it was killing her that he thought it was true. The dinner concluded, and Morgan hugged her family goodbye before rising from the table. When she got outside, she stopped walking. Her car was surrounded with floral bouquets.
The way Bash’s hand tightened around hers crushed her fingers.
“That’s some gift. Well played, Sebastian,” one of Christiana’s friends said.
Bash smiled in acknowledgment, but Morgan could feel the anger coming from him. He hadn’t sent them.
“She deserves every petal,” he said.
Morgan smiled nervously as he pulled her close for a kiss. Morgan turned red as everyone oohed and aahed, but she knew these flowers weren’t from him.
“B, can you help me get them into the car?” Morgan asked.
“Sure,” she said. “I’m keeping a bouquet for my room, though,” she added.
Morgan half smiled and stepped to her car. She saw the card under her windshield.
Two simple words moved her to tears.
Congratulations, shorty.
They packed up the car, and Morgan said her goodbyes.
“My parents will drive your car back. You can ride with me,” Bash instructed.
“I can drive my—”
“Now, Morgan,” Bash said. She stilled but didn’t budge. It would be a long ride home.
Bash and Morgan sat in the parking lot silently as everyone pulled away. The twins had exhausted themselves, and both slept uncomfortably in their car seats. The silence and tension that filled the car was maddening.
“We used to be really good friends,” she said sadly. “This doesn’t feel the same anymore, Bash. Why can’t we go back to that? We used to laugh all the time. There were days when I couldn’t breathe, and you made me laugh. This pressure to be your wife. It’s too heavy. I don’t want—”
Bash reached out and gripped her chin roughly like she were a child he had to chastise.
“Stop talking,” he sneered. “I can’t believe he showed up here. You’re so ungrateful it’s not even funny.” He pushed her head away as Morgan’s eyes misted. “Did you call him?”
“No,” Morgan answered.
“Did you call him?” Bash demanded.
“No!” she shouted again. She didn’t know what Bash wanted her to say. She hadn’t spoken to Ahmeek, but she wasn’t mad that he had shown up. Just seeing him was enough to give her hope that he still cared.
Messari stirred, and Bash turned rage-filled eyes to the road as he threw the car in drive and pulled off recklessly.
“I’m beginning to feel like you’re not worth the trouble, Mo,” he said. “Not worth it at all.”
Morgan turned her head out the window so he couldn’t see her tears as he drove her back to his family’s estate.