It takes two laps of the cafeteria for Kali and me to find a table far enough away from both Fletcher’s gang and Hollis’s. With more than half the students in Halloween costumes, it’s hard to tell who’s who. Kali isn’t exactly keeping a low profile dressed as Agnetha, the blonde from ABBA, in a stretchy blue jumpsuit, platform shoes, and with a silver headband across her forehead. She tried to talk me into wearing her Ariel costume, because my hair is ‘perfect for the part,’ but after the episode at the pool, I couldn’t see flopping into Spanish class in a mermaid outfit.
‘Willem called again yesterday,’ Kali says as we settle into our seats. ‘He upped his offer by fifty bucks.’
Willem Orr is one of Lauren’s society pals, and he’s been trying to hire us to check up on his girlfriend, Addison Mayfield. They’ve been together since ninth grade, and Willem is madly in love; but lately someone’s been sending him anonymous reports of her cheating. Normally we’d be all over this case, but Addison’s dad is state governor. That means Willem and Addison hit the society pages a lot, as one of Austin’s young ‘it’ couples. We decided unanimously that the job was too risky. Willem says he’ll only accept that the rumors are true if we provide evidence on video. But who knows where that kind of evidence could end up? It’s one thing to interfere in love, another to interfere in state politics. Plus, we could expose our business too widely in the process. So far we’ve managed to keep it fairly exclusive by getting client referrals. Messing with public figures could bring unwanted attention from nosy outsiders. An extra fifty bucks – divided by three – ain’t worth the risk.
‘He’s persistent,’ I say. ‘But I still say no.’
‘Agreed,’ Kali says, peering around for Syd. ‘I take it Riaz never came through?’
I shake my head. I’ve been trying to keep an open mind about Riaz, not because I’m that interested, but because I want to prove I’m over Eric. After my speech to Trisha, Simon’s ex, I wouldn’t mind walking my talk. It would be nice if Riaz played his part, but despite a long conversation on Wednesday, he never suggested getting together. I sent him a breezy e-mail on Friday ending with a ‘See you soon,’ and he didn’t take the hint. I’m afraid Brody’s right – about Riaz not being into me, I mean. He’s obviously wrong about everything else.
It’s disappointing, but the worst part was having to spend another Saturday night at Mom’s. Happily, Dad got home Sunday, and I was on the first bus back to our apartment. He brought me a pretty cool top from New York and took me to my favorite Thai restaurant. Spending two weeks being nagged by my grandparents made me appreciate him a little more, although when I suggested that Mom could use some help with packaging and logo design for her beauty products, he shut me down cold. Mediator Girl is still flunking home repairs.
Syd comes toward us carrying a garbage bag. She looks very Marlon Brando in a leather biker’s cap, but it’s not a costume, just her style.
‘Hey,’ I say, ‘what’s in the—’
My question hangs in the air as Syd strides by us to join Stains and Rambo without so much as a ‘hi.’
‘Now what?’ Kali asks. ‘She doesn’t like ABBA?’ She pulls out her sandwich and takes a savage bite. ‘You know, I am so through with her moods. If she thinks we’re going to run over there and beg her to tell us what’s wrong, she’s got another think coming.’
‘Let’s just give her a minute,’ I say.
Kali lasts about fifteen seconds before gathering her stuff and charging Syd’s table. ‘What’s your problem?’ she demands.
Syd tosses the garbage bag at Kali. ‘You mean besides this?’
Opening the bag gingerly, Kali flinches. ‘Ew! Is that some kind of sick Halloween joke?’
A putrid odor rises over the usual smell of fried food that permeates the cafeteria. It’s almost as bad as the fish guts.
Rambo grins. ‘It’s a message.’ He’s never shown much interest in Love, Inc. before, but this new twist intrigues him.
‘It’s a raw chicken,’ Kali tells me. ‘Complete with head.’
‘Guess where I found this decomposing bird?’ Syd asks. ‘Duct-taped to my friggin’ locker, that’s where. With a note attached to its foot.’
She gestures to the bag, and I know there’s only one way I’m going to get an answer. Holding my breath, I open the bag and peek at the tag: I want a refund.
I drop the chicken into the nearest trash can and say, ‘So we have an unhappy client.’
‘It’s Drake,’ Syd says. ‘The guy whose girlfriend was on the take for makeup samples. You wanted me to go soft on her, so I sent one of my mom’s prescription antiaging creams. All it did was make the girl’s face look a bit flushed, and Drake wanted more of a show.’
‘Ah,’ Kali says. ‘He’s saying we chickened out.’
Syd helps herself to one of the dozen or so mini chocolate bars that comprise Stains’s lunch. ‘The message is loud and clear.’
‘Give him his money,’ I say. ‘You did the right thing, Syd. We can’t go around maiming people.’
Kali reaches for one of Stains’s chocolate bars, and he flicks her hand away. ‘Do you think Drake might accept an exchange instead of a refund?’ she asks.
Kali is so engrossed in her conversation with Miller that she doesn’t notice Syd and me approaching her locker.
‘Looks like you were wrong,’ I whisper to Syd. ‘This one’s lasted an entire week, and she’s not sick of him yet.’
‘Well, she better get sick of him fast,’ Syd says, waving to get Kali’s attention. ‘The countdown’s started.’
Kali holds up a couple of fingers to signal she needs more time – time we don’t have. We’ve decided to deliver Drake’s ‘exchange’ before the school day ends.
Syd marches the last few feet and grabs Kali’s arm. ‘Sorry, Miller, she’s needed in surgery. She’ll call you later.’
‘Oh my God, could you be any ruder?’ Kali asks, as Syd hustles us around the corner. ‘I was in the middle of breaking up with him, and you know that has to be handled with care.’
‘Breaking up?’ Syd asks. ‘Were you ever going out?’
‘We had lunch together three days this week, in case you hadn’t noticed I was missing from your table,’ Kali says.
‘What went wrong?’ Syd asks. ‘Were his biceps too perfect?’
Kali ignores the sarcasm and says, ‘It was truly tragic: he turned out to be a horrible kisser.’ She gives a little shiver. ‘We’re talking snake tongue.’
‘When did the saliva swap take place?’ Syd asks. ‘I don’t recall your mentioning a date.’
Grinning mischievously, Kali sets the stage. ‘Picture the science lab, two hours ago. He was coming in, I was heading out. He said I look cute in my costume today. I said he looks cute every day, and since the place was empty, we did our own little chemistry experiment. Unfortunately, the results weren’t what I’d hoped for.’
‘Couldn’t you look at his arms and pretend?’ I ask.
Kali shakes her head. ‘You know as well as I do that it’s either there or it isn’t. Nice packaging can’t create a spark where it doesn’t exist.’
Syd is walking so fast we can barely keep up now. ‘We’ve only got four minutes before the next period starts,’ she says. ‘Give me the glue and let’s move.’
Nearly running, Kali somehow manages to locate the superglue she’s kept in her bag since our attack on Miss Daisy. ‘Remember,’ she says, as we part, ‘Mr Dennis keeps a seating plan in his top desk drawer.’
Syd and I take up positions around the corner while Kali lets out a piercing wail and collapses with a clatter against the lockers closest to the geography classroom.
Mr Dennis is out of his room in a shot. ‘Kalista! Are you all right?’
Kali turns on the drama machine with so much squealing and clutching of stomach that we easily sneak into the classroom. I pull open the top drawer, find the seating plan, then stand guard. Working quickly but carefully, Syd applies a thin line of glue to the edges of the seat where Drake’s ex-girlfriend normally sits.
We slip out of the room to find Kali giving an animated account of her abdominal pain. Mr Dennis looks queasy.
‘We’ll take her to the nurse’s office,’ I say. ‘Don’t worry.’
‘Thanks, girls. Even in pain, your friend’s a Super Trouper.’ He chuckles at his lame ABBA joke. ‘What a delightful young lady.’
‘I couldn’t agree more, sir,’ Syd says.
Drake meets us at his ex’s locker. His zombie lumberjack costume is terrifying. His face is covered in grayish makeup, and there’s fake blood caked at his temple. It’s not a stretch to believe he’d leave dead chickens in lockers. Or worse.
‘Where’s my money?’ he asks.
‘We have it,’ Kali says. ‘But first we want to offer you an exchange.’
Almost on cue, there’s a screech down the hall that makes Kali’s seem amateurish. Then we hear a steady thumping noise and a rhythmic scraping that grows ever louder until Drake’s ex-girlfriend comes into view, half-walking, half-crawling, and dragging her entire desk with her. The fact that she’s dressed like Catwoman only adds to the show.
Drake smiles, and his teeth look yellow against the makeup. ‘Is she attached to that thing?’
Catwoman sees him and bursts into tears. ‘Drake, thank God. Some A-hole glued my seat and my costume’s stuck. Give me your shirt so I can get out of this thing.’
‘Can’t you just use your superpowers?’ Drake asks, taking off his plaid jacket.
Catwoman squirms out of her one-piece latex costume, revealing an animal-print bra and G-string.
‘ME-OW!’ a guy calls.
‘Give me the jacket, Drake,’ Catwoman says. ‘Now.’
Drake puts it back on. ‘Nah. Get your new boyfriend’s jacket.’
As more students come out of the classrooms to see what the commotion’s about, Drake’s ex-girlfriend twists herself into a pretzel, trying to cover up with one hand and open her locker with the other. The Austin High cell phone paparazzi catch a lucky break, because sometime between lunch and her chemistry experiment, Kali found time to glue the lock shut.
Again Mr Dennis comes to the rescue, this time with his suit jacket. We take that as our cue to fade into the crowd.
Drake tracks us down after the next period. ‘You’re off the hook,’ he says. ‘The pictures are already all over Facebook. Look for the video on YouTube later.’
‘Customer satisfaction guaranteed,’ Syd says.
My phone rings as I sit down with my Bennu latte. It’s become our satellite office, now that SpongeBob has moved up in the world to Starbucks. ‘She’s tried me three times,’ I say, checking the call display. ‘We can’t ignore this.’
Syd flips open her phone to receive an incoming text. ‘She’s trying me too. But group starts in half an hour. Dieter will kill us if we’re late again.’
Kali’s phone is buzzing now. ‘How can we ignore a client in crisis?’
‘Fine,’ Syd says, texting a reply. ‘I’m telling her she has exactly ten minutes to get here, and another ten to talk to us. Then we’re gone.’
The client in question is Stacey, the girl we coached throughout her hookup with Graham. Thanks to our ongoing counseling, she’s managed not to spoil or suffocate Graham, and now they’re approaching their two-month anniversary. It’s an all-time record for Stacey, and she’s worried about blowing it.
Breezing into the café just as we’re preparing to leave, Stacey flops onto the sofa beside Syd and says, ‘Can I buy you another round before we start?’
‘We need to leave in exactly one minute,’ Syd says. ‘You’ll have to talk fast.’
Stacey lays out her plans for the anniversary: a limo will pick Graham up before dawn and take him to Town Lake, where the caterer she’s hired will have set up a table for two on the Pfluger pedestrian bridge. There, they’ll have eggs Benedict, followed by cinnamon doughnuts and hot chocolate (Graham’s favorites), while they watch the sun rise over the city. After that, they take off in a romantic balloon ride over the canyons and the Enchanted Rock.
Syd sums up her reaction with one word. ‘Overkill. Scale it all back, Stace. Take a long bike ride in the park, and don’t even think about busting out the balloon until you hit the year mark.’
Stacey’s face falls. I bet she’s already bought the tickets. ‘The balloon’s a cool idea,’ I say. ‘But it’s just too much on top of everything else. Remember, no spoiling that dog.’
‘On the other hand,’ Kali says, looking at Syd and me, ‘she could say her mom won the tickets in charity raffle and doesn’t want them herself. That lets Stacey off the hook. What do you think?’
I think floating over Texas in a wicker basket is the opposite of romantic, but then I’m deathly afraid of heights. ‘Go for it,’ I say. ‘But only if you cut all the rest.’
Syd gives a nod of approval, and we hastily gather our jackets and head for the door.
‘But wait,’ Stacey calls after us. ‘Wouldn’t the sunrise breakfast be more romantic?’
We are now officially late for group yet again.
‘Fine,’ I say. ‘Breakfast on the bridge, but you’ll have to ride your bikes there and skip the balloon.’
Stacey follows us. ‘Is breakfast too boring?’ she asks. ‘A balloon ride says I’m exciting – a girl who likes to take chances and live life to the fullest.’
‘Ballooning or breakfast,’ Kali calls over her shoulder as we start running down the street. ‘It’s your choice, Stacey, but it’s one or the other!’
‘Relationships are all about balance, aren’t they?’ I say, after Lauren finishes describing how she resolved a problem with Trey. ‘You need to do enough to show you’re into it, but not so much that the other person gets complacent.’
‘People would rather be treated like crap than be treated too well,’ Syd says.
Dieter says, ‘I don’t think that’s true of a healthy relationship, Sydney.’
‘Maybe it’s hard to feel like you deserve to be treated well,’ Kali says.
‘You all deserve to be treated well,’ Dieter says. ‘In fact, you have to demand it. And you prove you deserve it by treating other people well.’
‘It doesn’t always work that way,’ I say.
‘I’ll tell you how it works,’ Evan says, leaning over to pat my knee. ‘The key is not to aim too high. Zahra, you’re a seven-point-five, and you should be shooting for the same.’ He nods at Kali. ‘You could go as high as eight-point-five, no problem.’
‘Evan,’ Dieter says, frowning. ‘Do you really think that’s helpful?’
Evan nods, alert for once. ‘I do, because it’s realistic. Look at Syd. She keeps turning me down because she’s a solid eight and I’m a six.’
‘On your best day,’ Syd mutters.
‘I’m just saying,’ Evan continues. ‘If you date up, you end up trying too hard. If you date down, you don’t try hard enough. Like Zahra says, it’s all about balance.’
‘That is so not what I meant,’ I say.
‘Evan’s got a point,’ Simon says. ‘Although there’s more to it than looks. You’ve got to factor everything into the package. An eight-point-five with issues is just a seven. And a seven who’s fun and smart and knows it can clear a nine.’
‘What do you think about that, Zahra?’ Dieter says. He is picking lint off his black pants as an excuse not to look at me. There’s going to be hilarity in Father Casey’s office later, I know it.
‘Simon is probably right about the confidence,’ I allow. ‘But there’s a lot more to the equation than that.’
‘Right,’ Kali says. ‘Because you can date up and be let down. You guys have forgotten to factor in chemistry.’
‘Syd?’ Dieter asks, still fighting a smile.
Syd sighs. ‘I think it’s all too complicated to bother.’
Syd, Kali, and I bolt for the exit the second Dieter brings the session to a close. We’re halfway down the stone steps in front of the church when three claps bring us to a halt.
‘Now we know why he has a room with two exits,’ Syd says.
‘It comes in handy to catch people running away from their responsibilities,’ Dieter says, strolling toward us.
‘Sorry about being late again, Dieter,’ I say. ‘We had a … friend that needed advice at the last minute. Supporting others helps us work out our problems, too.’
‘And we were only ten minutes late this time,’ Kali says.
‘Ten minutes today, fifteen last week, ten the week before. That time is mine,’ Dieter says. ‘Otherwise, I’m all for your supporting other people.’ He gives us the avatar stare until we squirm. ‘Once more, ladies, and I’ll be sharing my concerns with your parents.’
As Dieter goes back around the church, Simon and Evan come out the front door and join us.
‘You’re in trouble,’ Evan says. ‘Even I’m on time for group, and I have the worst attendance record at my school.’
He says that like it’s something to brag about. ‘Why do you care?’ I ask.
Simon answers. ‘With three of you missing, Detour has more time to stir up our brains, that’s why.’
‘If you had a brain, you’d remember a certain predicament we got you out of recently,’ Syd says.
‘That’s why I want to help you,’ Simon says, taking off his baseball cap and running his hand through his dark hair. ‘You’ve gotta understand how this whole thing works. Look at it from our parents’ perspective. They screwed up, and they know it. They feel so guilty about it that they spend their days looking for signs you’re about to crack. If you play your cards right, you can use this angst to your advantage. A day off school to chill? Sure. Some extra cash for a movie to cheer you up? No problem. There’s just one string attached: you have to show up for group. Because if you’re there, they think everything’s under control. Skip group and alarm bells ring. Bye-bye special privileges; hello surveillance.’
‘Right, man,’ Evan says, slinging an arm around Sydney’s shoulder. ‘You just have to show up.’ He pulls his arm back as Syd’s boot jams down on his sneaker. ‘Ow! What the hell?’
‘You ran the numbers,’ Syd says, walking away.
When we catch up with her, she explains that her foul mood has more to do with her dad than Evan. Mr Stark booked a ‘special dinner’ last night at their favorite restaurant. She hadn’t seen him for weeks, and when she arrived, he wasn’t alone.
‘Her name is Charlotte,’ Syd says. ‘She’s twenty-two and she’s moving into Dad’s condo on Saturday.’
‘Isn’t the condo a bit small for three?’ I ask.
‘You mean five,’ Syd says. ‘Charlotte has the biggest boob implants you’ve ever seen. Dad was relieved when I said I’d move to Mom’s full-time. Even though she wants her space, too.’
Syd soon shuts the conversation down by asking me about Riaz.
‘Nothing but a short e-mail talking about his trip to Houston,’ I say. ‘I don’t even need cookies to repel guys anymore.’
‘He’s interested,’ Kali insists, freshening her lip gloss. ‘Or he wouldn’t bother keeping in touch. I bet he calls tonight. If not, you could shoot him an e-mail, maybe drop a bigger hint.’
‘I don’t want to look desperate. What do you think, Syd?’
Syd shrugs. ‘I’d hate to see you get burnt again.’
Kali scowls at her. ‘Must you always look on the dark side? The guy’s probably shy and needs encouragement.’
‘Riaz is not shy,’ I tell her. ‘And if kissing him back wasn’t encouragement, I don’t know what is.’
‘You know what might help?’ Kali says, glancing at Syd in that way I’ve come to dread. ‘A makeover.’
‘I’m so sorry, Z,’ Syd says, looking horrified anew when I come into the trailer.
Kali and Syd took me to a salon yesterday after seeing Facebook photos of the slam on Drake’s ex-girlfriend. While Syd and Kali aren’t exactly generic, my hair stood out in the crowd of laughing bystanders, and I’m the only one of us who got tagged. Not that my presence implicates me in any way, but when it comes to revenge, we agreed it would be better all around if I could blend.
The salon mission didn’t go exactly as planned. I should have listened when the stylist explained that red hair strands have an odd shape that makes them resistant to dye. She warned me that she’d have to bleach out all the color, which would damage the texture, before applying a new one. But by this point I was committed, so I let her strip my hair and apply a nice, neutral butterscotch dye. It didn’t fully take. What I have now is a frizzy mop in a brassy color unknown to nature. As it turns out, there are worse things than red hair.
Kali shushes her. ‘It looks fine, Z, really. And the stylist is sure another visit this afternoon will put things right.’
‘You can show off your new look at the rink tonight,’ Syd says. ‘The Wheel Dolls are doing a charity match at the Millennium.’
Syd’s friend Rambo has a thing for Madison Manson, who skates with a local roller derby league. He’s asked us to find out where she hangs out off the rink so he can meet her and ask her out. Rambo didn’t have much cash, so we agreed to do the job in exchange for a fifty-dollar Gap gift card he got for his birthday.
Barter products account for about a third of our earnings, and since we haven’t gotten around to selling them, the trailer is filling up with swag, including movie coupons, an unopened box of perfume, a digital camera, three video games, an empty aquarium, a baseball glove, and an electronic reader.
‘I’m in,’ I say. ‘I’d like to see the match.’
I have zero interest in roller derby, but I’m supposed to have dinner at Mom’s, and I can’t face the family’s reaction to my hair until I’m sure it’s fixed.
‘I can’t make it,’ Kali says. ‘Notts County is doing that freebie at the Plaza.’
‘Business trumps hormones,’ Syd says.
‘This is business,’ Kali says. ‘I’m testing my matchmaking program on Owen Gaines and me.’
‘Nice try,’ Syd says. ‘I need you to do your thing on Madison. You know, where you talk so much they’ll say anything just to shut you up.’
‘Zahra can handle this one,’ Kali says.
‘The Plaza’s on the way to the Millennium,’ I say. ‘And free concerts never last long. So why don’t we all go there first, then hit the roller rink as the match ends?’
‘Fine, but if I’m making headway with Owen, you guys are on your own,’ Kali says.
‘Fine. And if Notts County sucks, you’re picking up after Banksy for a week,’ Syd says.
Owen Gaines is very cute, but he’s seven years older than we are. Kali probably doesn’t stand a chance.
After the concert, he and his bandmates set up a table to sell Notts County T-shirts, posters, and CDs. Girls gather like flies to honey.
‘How do I look?’ Kali asks, giving her hair a toss.
‘Like a desperate groupie,’ Syd answers.
‘You look nice,’ I say, glaring at Syd.
Kali applies a fresh coat of lip gloss. ‘I’m nervous,’ she says, sounding surprised. That rarely happens for her where guys are concerned. ‘I hope Owen remembers me from the all-ages gig. Do you think he will?’
Syd rolls her eyes. ‘As I recall, all he said was “Hey.”’
‘It was the way he said it,’ Kali says, grinning.
‘He might have noticed you dancing like a freak tonight,’ Syd says. Some of Kali’s friends from school are here, and they banded together in front of the stage, making so much noise, it would be hard not to notice.
‘Do you think?’ Kali asks hopefully.
‘Sure,’ I say. ‘What’s the plan? Are you buying a CD or a poster?’
‘I don’t know,’ Kali says. ‘What do you think? A CD says I love his music, but a poster says he’s hot.’
‘I’d go for the T-shirt,’ Syd says. ‘Keeping him close to your boobs says it all.’
Kali’s brow furrows as she notices Owen talking to a pixieish girl with brown hair and a pretty face. ‘Who’s she?’
‘Not his sister, judging by the steamy eye contact,’ Syd says.
‘You’re not afraid of a little competition,’ I remind Kali.
‘Right,’ she says, throwing back her shoulders. ‘I can take that pixie.’
Syd and I stand a few feet back, watching as Kali moves in for the kill. In her black skinny jeans and lace-up boots, she’s all legs tonight. Walking straight up to Owen, she says, ‘Hey. Great gig.’
Owen barely glances at her as he says, ‘Thanks.’
Syd elbows me in the ribs. ‘Stee-rike one!’
‘We met in September at your all-ages show,’ Kali says, twisting a ringlet of hair around her finger.
‘Oh yeah?’ Owen’s eyes are still on the pixie.
‘I’m Kali.’
‘Hi, Kerry.’ It’s obvious he doesn’t remember meeting her.
‘Stee-rike two!’ Syd says.
But Kali isn’t out yet. ‘I liked your new version of Star Sleeper today,’ she says. ‘The transition to F minor in the last refrain gave the piece such a haunting quality.’
Owen’s eyes finally meet Kali’s. ‘That’s what I was going for. You’re a musician?’
Kali shrugs. ‘I dabble. I’ve been playing guitar and writing songs for years, but there are so many riffs I haven’t mastered.’
‘You’ll get there,’ Owen says, giving her his full attention. ‘You’re way ahead of where I was at your age. I didn’t pick up an instrument until eleventh grade.’
‘I’m almost in college,’ Kali says, smiling up at Owen.
Syd’s snort is loud enough for Owen to hear, and it’s my turn to elbow her in the ribs. ‘Shut up and let the maestro work.’
Playing with the chain around her neck, Kali says, ‘So when did you switch from piano to guitar?’
Owen puts his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and smiles. ‘Did I say that the instrument was a piano?’
Busted, Kali pretends to examine a CD. ‘I think I read that somewhere.’
‘Well, you read right.’ Owen lets her off the hook and continues to talk to her for a good ten minutes. Finally, Syd claps her hands three times to remind Kali we have other plans.
She rejoins us carrying a CD, a T-shirt, and a poster. ‘As predicted by my matchmaking program, Owen and I are destined for greatness. I got enough information in just ten minutes to confirm the key aspects of our compatibility.’
Syd laughs. ‘Now all you have to do is convince him.’
‘I will,’ Kali says. ‘Just give me time.’ She hands me the CD before squirming into the T-shirt. ‘Listen and love it,’ she says.
‘That poster is not going into the trailer,’ Syd warns.
‘You’re right,’ Kali says with a huge smile. ‘It’s going directly over my bed.’
The referee blows the whistle to signal the start of the final ‘jam.’ A pack of eight girls takes off around the rink. The four from the Wheel Dolls are wearing short, puffy pink skirts with poodles appliquéd on them – the kind you might see in a movie like Grease, only way shorter. The cap sleeves on their tight black shirts reveal a variety of colorful tattoos on bare arms. Fingerless gloves and bright pink neck scarves complete the outfit, along with knee and elbow pads and helmets.
The four girls from the Diner Dames are dressed like goth waitresses. Their formfitting powder-blue smocks are trimmed with white piping and lacy handkerchiefs, and blue garters hold up their seamed stockings. In contrast, their lips and nails are painted black, and there are black semicircles under their eyes.
This is a lot more interesting than I expected. It’s theater on wheels.
After twenty seconds, the ref blows the whistle again, and Madison Manson takes off, alongside a girl from the Dames. Running a few steps on the stoppers of their old-school roller skates, the two ‘jammers’ glide down the rink toward the rest of the pack. Each girl has two stars on her helmet.
‘Rambo says that’s so you can keep track of them,’ Syd says.
The reason for the title and the stars quickly becomes obvious. When the two girls reach the rest of the pack there’s a sudden blur of blue and pink. Madison tries to battle her way past the Dames’ blockers, who simultaneously try to stop her while helping their own jammer force her way through the Dolls. It’s a mass of thrashing limbs. Just when it seems that Madison will be the first to emerge from the battle, a Dame bodychecks her and sends Madison careening to the side of the rink.
Syd jumps to her feet and bellows, ‘Go, Madison!’ She’s as excited as Kali was during the Notts County concert.
Madison fights her way back into the scrum, but the Dames’ jammer is almost out of the pack. One of the Dolls checks the teammate in front of her, causing the girl to fall hard onto the rink and block the Dames’ jammer for a couple of seconds. That’s just enough time for Madison to squeeze past the last blocker and break free of the pack. Once clear, she drops her hands to her hips several times to signal the end of the bout.
After the ref blows the whistle, the tackled Dame struggles to her feet with the help of her teammates.
‘That was brutal,’ Kali says.
‘That was nasty,’ I say.
‘That was awesome,’ Syd says, grinning as she hops down the bleachers and heads toward the locker room.
‘She forgot Banksy,’ Kali says.
But a second later, Syd whistles and Banksy trots off after her.
By the time Kali and I make our way to the Dolls’ locker room, Syd is already chatting to Madison. Up close, Madison seems to be quite pretty, although she’s sort of a cross between Marilyn Monroe and Marilyn Manson. Her platinum hair, false eyelashes, and pink lipstick are offset by a row of eyebrow piercings and a Celtic cross tattooed on her neck.
‘That’s blood,’ Kali whispers, noticing the dried trickle under a gash on Madison’s right cheek.
‘It must be a badge of honor,’ I say. Most of the other girls in the room are bruised and bloodied, too.
We wait for Syd to call us over, but it never happens. She’s so engrossed in her conversation with Madison that she forgets all about us – and her purpose in coming.
Finally, we introduce ourselves, and Kali quickly steers the conversation in a more personal direction to get the information we need for Rambo.
‘So much for business trumping hormones,’ she says, as we drag Syd out of the Millennium. ‘Syd’s discovered love after Eric – roller derby.’