Syd returns from the church with fresh pails of warm soapy water. ‘I still can’t believe it,’ she says, putting one pail in front of me and another beside Kali in the St. Joe’s parking lot. Dipping her brush into the water, she gets straight to work scrubbing a tarp. ‘Addison Mayfield, Austin’s sweetheart and queen of her daddy’s upcoming debutante ball, is screwing around on Willem with a guy named Viper?’
‘Apparently,’ I say, putting the last of the wet harnesses to one side and rubbing my hands together to get the circulation going before starting in on the carabiners.
It’s our punishment from Dieter for missing half a session last week. Apparently he wasn’t so riveted by our animated discussions that he forgot to make another note in his black book. He’s agreed to ‘let us off the hook,’ however, if we clean the equipment from a particularly muddy ropes course.
Willem was crushed when I told him what I learnt from Addison, although he’s still clinging to the hope that ‘Viper’ is a fast car, or a fun-park ride. That means we have to forge ahead and collect the video evidence he needs before Valentine’s Day and Addison’s coming out party.
‘So where do you find a poisonous snake in Austin?’ Syd says, stretching out a clean tarp to dry.
‘That’s the hitch,’ I say. ‘Vipers are most easily found in Hill Country – at all-night dance parties.’
‘Sound like fun,’ Syd says, cheering up immediately.
‘But not as much fun as our slam on Raphael,’ Kali says, gaily waving a brush at Dieter, who’s come out of the church to check on us. ‘Don’t you love our business?’
As we march down the sidewalk, I turn to Kali and continue my quiz. ‘One more time. Raphael’s birthday is …?’
‘April ninth,’ she says. ‘He’ll be eighteen.’
‘Favorite food?’ I ask.
‘Hamburgers. With mozzarella.’
‘Allergies?’
‘Cats and tree bark.’
‘Family?’
‘Single mom, two sisters, dad’s a deadbeat, last seen in Iowa,’ Kali rattles off. ‘Z, relax. I’ve got it. Every shred of information we pulled from Dylan is all up here.’ She taps her temple. ‘He’s hoping to study musical theater at NYU, rubs his nose when he’s nervous, and his mom still calls him “Nuddiepie.”’
‘I think she’s ready,’ I tell Syd, pulling the photos out of my bag and handing them to Kali. ‘Remember, keep this short and sweet. Don’t get carried away.’
‘I’ve done a little acting before, Z,’ Kali says, putting away the photos and pulling out her brush and lip gloss. ‘I think I know what I’m doing.’
‘Kali, Raphael’s gay,’ Syd says. ‘You don’t have to reel him in.’
‘I still like to look good when I hit the stage,’ she says. In fact, she has played down her style today, with nerdy jeans, sneakers, and Brody’s old checkered flannel jacket. But her hair is still fabulous.
When we reach the bistro, Kali and Syd hold back while I peer inside. ‘Target’s serving a table at the back.’ I recognise Raphael’s dark, chiseled looks in an instant. He takes an order from a couple of men about Dad’s age, who are holding hands over the table. As Raphael turns, a tall, well-built blond waiter emerges from the kitchen and winks at him. ‘And there’s Raphael’s new guy, Loverboy.’
‘Let’s do it,’ Kali says. Throwing back her head, she squeezes eyedrops into each eye. Then she flings open the door and makes her entrance. Syd and I follow, a few paces behind.
Marching straight up to Raphael, Kali demands, ‘How could you?’ The fake tears stream down her face.
‘Excuse me?’ Raphael says. ‘Did I get your order wrong?’
‘Are you trying to pretend you don’t know me, Raphael Augustus Moneiro?’ Kali says.
A few customers turn and stare.
Raphael looks around nervously and says, ‘I don’t know you.’
Kali unravels her scarf and throws it dramatically onto an empty table. ‘I should have known you’d try this.’ Rifling through her bag, she grabs the photographs I’ve been tinkering with all week in Photoshop. Up close, Syd’s little cousin bears a pretty strong resemblance to Raphael. ‘Does this help jog your memory?’ She waves a baby photo under his nose. ‘Or this?’
Loverboy steps in to get a look at the images.
Kali makes it easy for him. One by one, she slaps the photos down on the table beside her scarf. A shot of Raphael and Kali with the baby in the park. A shot of them in someone’s living room. A shot of them in a nursery, with Raphael standing over a crib. ‘You bastard,’ she says, flopping into a chair.
One of Raphael’s customers reaches over to pat her back reassuringly. ‘What happened, sweetie?’
Kali turns, thrilled at the opening. ‘This … this deadbeat left me all alone with a baby. I’m only seventeen and I’m trying to be a good mom, but it’s so hard.’
Loverboy is going through the pictures now. ‘What’s going on?’ he asks Raphael. ‘You never mentioned being with women – let alone having a kid.’
‘I’ve never seen this girl before in my life!’ Raphael says, rubbing his nose.
‘Oh, come on,’ I say, moving into position beside Kali. ‘She’s the mother of your child. You can change teams, but you can’t change that.’
‘I don’t know you either,’ Raphael says, rubbing his nose harder. His eyes are wild and confused.
‘Lucinda loves you,’ I say. ‘You can still come home and be a good father.’ I hold out another picture. ‘Little Raffie looks just like you.’
‘He does look like you,’ Loverboy says, looking from the picture to Raphael and back.
Kali wipes her eyes. ‘That one was taken on Raphael’s birthday – April ninth. We had hamburgers with mozzarella, and we took the baby out to Mount Bonnell to watch the sunset.’ She smiles at the memory. ‘No matter what happens, that will always be our special spot.’
Loverboy turns on Raphael. ‘You said that was our special spot.’
‘Then we put our little Nuddiepie to bed,’ Kali continues, ‘and watched A Few Good Men.’ She’s on a roll now, spitting intimate details about Raphael’s life. Loverboy continues to stare at Raphael as Kali goes in for the kill. ‘What I love most is just snuggling on the couch.’ She gives the sympathetic customer a sad smile. ‘Raphael has the cutest birthmark on his chest, in the shape of Italy.’
‘That’s it.’ Loverboy rips off his apron and turns to leave. ‘We’re done.’
‘Done?’ Raphael says. ‘We can’t be done. I’ve never met this girl, I swear.’
‘You’ve got guilty written all over you,’ Loverboy says, pointing to Raphael’s nose. ‘If you rub that thing any harder, it’s going to fall off.’
Loverboy walks out of the bistro, and Raphael runs after him. ‘Please! You’ve got to believe me. That is not my kid.’
With our mission accomplished, Kali, Syd, and I quickly gather our props.
‘What’s all the commotion?’ a deep voice asks. ‘We’re trying to rehearse.’
It’s Lady Luck, the drag queen we met outside while we were putting up posters of Miss Daisy. He’s stepped through a thick red velvet curtain that separates the bistro from the nightclub behind.
‘You,’ Lady Luck says, pointing at us with an empty cigarette holder. ‘You girls gave me a bum steer on that Charger. It absolutely reeked.’ He approaches the table. ‘I covered your butts once, but I am done with the charity work. What are you selling now?’
‘Nothing,’ Kali says, stuffing the photos back into her purse. To the guys at the table she adds, ‘I tried to sell Raphael’s car out from under him. I know it was wrong, but I was desperate.’
One of the guys reaches out and takes her hand. ‘It’s OK, sweetie.’
Kali squeezes his hand. ‘It was for the baby. A mom does what she has to do.’
The guy reaches for his wallet and takes out twenty bucks. ‘Here.’
‘No, I couldn’t,’ Kali says, backing away. ‘Thank you so much, though.’
The customer insists, and Kali takes the money just to make a break for it.
‘Arnie,’ Lady Luck bellows. ‘We’ve got panhandlers in here again.’
Six-feet-six in platform heels, Arnie charges out of the back room, his wig askew.
That’s when we run like we’ve never run before.
Since it’s the warmest January that Austin has seen in ten years, we hold our last meeting of the month at Café Mozart, sitting outside at the picnic tables.
‘Dylan’s going to be so disappointed we’re missing the rehearsal this week,’ I say, tilting my face toward the sun.
He could not have been more thrilled with our slam on Raphael. The cheater actually had the nerve to go running back to Dylan after Loverboy dumped him. This time, however, Dylan stood firm. If only Hollis would be as strong.
‘I’ll miss it too,’ Kali says. ‘I would have liked to do the show.’
If all goes as planned, we won’t need to attend more rehearsals. This week we’ll be going to group, on time and in full force.
‘Speaking of happy customers, did you guys see the paper? Lily and Jason won their skating competition,’ I say, spooning the whipped cream from my hot chocolate into my mouth. ‘That kiss in the photo sure didn’t look professional.’
‘I knew they were a good match,’ Kali says, booting up her laptop. ‘Stacey and Graham are still together too. And Trisha has had her second date with one of my match recruits from the mall, and a third is in the works. I still haven’t found anyone for Luke, but I’m thinking Z’s old friend Morgan might be a possibility.’
Syd bites into her almond croissant and says, ‘Madison and Rambo have hit it off, too.’
‘Speaking of Madison,’ Kali says, ‘there’s been something I’ve wanted to run past you.’ She clicks her mouse a few times and turns her laptop toward Syd.
‘Compatibility file,’ Syd reads, ‘for Max Simpson and … Oh, no you don’t.’ She pushes the computer back to Kali. ‘You want to set me up with Madison’s brother?’
‘Actually, Max wants me to set you up with him,’ Kali says. ‘I’m just the go-between.’
Syd shakes her head. ‘I’m done with guys. In case you missed it, I got burnt this year. I might be out of intensive care, but I’m still in recovery.’
‘According to early projections,’ Kali continues as if Syd hasn’t spoken, ‘you and Max are sitting at eighty-four percent compatibility.’ She spins the laptop toward Syd again. ‘Look how cute he is. Plus, he’s a dog lover and he wears vintage and he loves roller derby. What could be—’ Kali has to raise her voice above the noise the birds are making in the trees. ‘I’m sorry, did you hear that?’
Above the familiar squawk of grackles, there’s a screechy chatter.
Kali is the first one out of her seat, and we follow her across the deck.
‘There!’ Syd points to a clump of twigs at the bottom of a telephone pole just beyond the noisy tree.
I stare at the clump and see a flash of bright green. Another flash follows, and two Quaker parrots hop out of a hole and onto the telephone wire.
‘There’s more!’ Kali points to three birds hopping around a second nest, on the next telephone pole. They fly over to join the first three on the wire.
‘We found the wild parrots,’ Kali says, her eyes sparkling with wonder.
‘Actually, they found us,’ I say, taking a picture with my phone.
‘It’s a sign,’ Kali says.
Syd hooks one arm over Kali’s shoulder and the other over mine. ‘It’s closure,’ she says, smiling. ‘Hand me the discharge papers.’