Rosie
I wanted to be pissed at him for pushing this now.
For pushing it here.
But, Christ, this was the same park where he’d seen me upset before we were together, where he’d pulled over his car, where he’d held me in his arms as I’d let him in.
And he’d kept me safe.
How could I keep him out now?
“I don’t know what I want to do.”
“That’s a lie, Rosie baby.”
My eyes slid closed, cutting out the sight of the grassy expanse, the late afternoon sun, the trees that were smaller now, but taking hold and growing after the fire had turned the others to ash.
I loved that our town had so many little areas like this—greenscape that broke up buildings, that gave people space to gather.
To sit and breathe in the fresh air.
To sit and talk with their friends and families and—
Men who wouldn’t let them get away with avoiding their problems.
I sighed and shifted on the bench, and Joel was moving too, anticipating my actions, tucking my legs over his so I was sitting sideways across his lap.
“I’m scared to admit it,” I whispered.
He waited while I battled with myself, while I battled with the words that wanted to fly off my tongue and stay locked inside me forever.
He waited while I debated.
While I almost found the courage…and then quickly repeated.
While I fought with myself more times than I cared to admit.
Ugh. Jesus Christ, Rosie. Get your shit together.
“I don’t want to be mayor,” I finally said. “And the truth is that I never did.”
He’d gone still, same as he had when he’d pulled me into the room at the rink, as I’d told him the first part.
And held back the second.
Held back. Again.
“Fuck, honey,” I muttered. “It’s a freaking miracle that you’re with me at all.”
“What?” His scowl was intense. “What bullshit are you spouting now—and it’s not what you just told me about being mayor,” he added before I could let that hit me deep, let that hurt me. “That’s fine. That we can unpack. But how the fuck—after everything we’ve been through—can you say that? Can you think that?”
I started to get up, but he dropped a hand on my hip, kept me close.
“How, my Rosie baby?” he said more firmly, drawing me nearer. “I love you. You’re fucking beautiful and that’s not just on the outside. It’s what you have in here.” He touched my heart. “You care. Care. Not just about the town and the people. Not just the job you’ve done and working your ass off to do it right. Not just with your friends and the people who’ve been lucky enough to be your family—and I’m talking about Bailey and Dessie, not the fuckups who happened to contribute to your DNA. And I’m talking about me and Fox and Axel and Ryan. I’m talking about how you give so much of yourself to everyone but you, sweetheart. You care and you do it hard. Your heart is huge and I fucking love you.” He cupped my jaw. “So stop talking shit about my beautiful woman. You deserve love and I’m the one who’s lucky to have you.”
My pulse was pounding through my veins.
Those words.
They were a barrage on my heart, sinking into my flesh, burying themselves deep, making me feel so damned much.
I exhaled.
“And, Rosie baby,” he said, drawing my face closer to his, our lips a hairsbreadth apart. “You deserve a job that you love, that fulfills you.”
I took another breath, dropped my forehead to his. “I don’t want to be mayor.”
He wove his fingers into my curls. “So quit.”
I blinked, pulled back, slid my legs from his lap and dropped my feet to the ground. “It’s not that easy.”
“Isn’t it?”
Isn’t it.
The bald way he said that had me freezing.
Because why did I have to keep doing it?
Why couldn’t I just be done?
Why shouldn’t I?
Why couldn’t I move on?
The problem was that it wasn’t simple.
People relied on me. I had responsibilities.
How would it even work? Who would step in and run things? Who would make sure they were done right?
Only…I didn’t have to figure that out, did I?
I wasn’t responsible for everything in this town, for every person and business and decision—no matter that I’d made it my life for the last years.
I could make sure there were people in place to protect the town, could do it right and not just leave.
I didn’t have to.
But I could.
Because…I didn’t want this any longer.
That was the truth—a truth I’d been avoiding because I didn’t like how it made me feel. Because for as hard as I had fought for it, for as hard as I worked, I didn’t think it was ever something I truly wanted.
I didn’t want to be the mayor of River’s Bend.
I never wanted to be.
I wanted to be something else.
Something more.
But what the fuck was the more?
The bristles of his beard whispered along my jaw and Joel slid his arms around my middle, drawing me back against him.
“I don’t want it,” I whispered.
“I know.”
“But I don’t know who I am without it.”
“You have time to figure it out.” A kiss to my curls. “And I’ll be right by your side as you do.”
I inhaled.
“But it’s hard,” he murmured. “It’s hard for all of us.”
I blinked up at him. “It’s hard for you too?”
He kissed my curls again. “Yeah, Rosie baby.”
I frowned. “With what?”
“With hockey and my life and the travel and training and…sometimes I wonder too if it’s all worth it, if I still want it.” A sigh. “And sometimes I wish it was easier.”
“I hate that it’s hard,” I muttered. “For both of us.”
“Something that’s completely normal, completely human, Rosie baby.”
“I don’t want to be human,” I grumbled.
Silence.
A still, still hockey player behind me.
Then laughter in the air.
“I know, Rosie baby. You’ve spent your whole life being a freaking superhero.” A gentle hand sliding to my hip, turning me to face him. “It’s horrible having to step out of the clouds.”
I made a face, but it was because he was right and because he was here and because it was his hands so gently holding me, his words coaxing me to admit the truth—
Encouraging me to move toward something that made me happy.
“You’re a pain in the ass,” I mock grumbled, sliding my arms around his shoulders and leaning in to hug him tight.
“But I’m your pain in the ass.”
And then, even though I’d just had a conversation that would most definitely change the course of the conversation, I laughed.
Because I loved this man so fucking much.