Make a Decision
Anyone who knows me well knows I can be extremely indecisive. Because I have perfectionist tendencies, I don’t like making mistakes. I don’t like doing things wrong, and I don’t like having regrets. This means that I take forever to make a decision because I want the decision I make to be the right one.
Let me give you an example.
I went with my daughter and her husband to Philadelphia as their “nanny” for a weekend while they traveled out of town for work. (Yes, I’m a grandmother. Don’t know how that happened, because as far as I’m concerned, I’m still twenty-seven.)
My dad is from Baltimore, Maryland, and my grandfather—the last living grandparent I have—still lives there. In the middle of my trip to Philly, I decided to make the two-hour trip to Baltimore to see my grandfather.
I had two options. I could rent a car and have control over my schedule, or take the train and enjoy the ride. Simple enough, right?
I decided to take the train. My spontaneous decision meant I hadn’t checked the train schedule, so on the cab ride to the station, I checked the website and realized the next train left in fifteen minutes. I was ten minutes away. Realizing that my chances of catching that train were beyond slim, I changed my mind and decided to rent a car.
I asked the cab driver to take me to the car rental agency. As we made our way through traffic and drew near our destination, I realized that the rental agency was only one block from the hotel where the driver had not long before picked me up. Ugh.
I walked into the agency, stood at the counter, and waited for the representative to help me find a cheap economy car. When she found it, the price was much higher than I’d expected. I checked the time for the next train and noted that the cost would be about the same as the car rental. So I thanked the rental rep for her assistance, declined the car, then went outside to find yet another cab.
At the train station, I found my way to the ticket booth, decision made. Or so I thought. When the agent in the booth quoted me the price of the train ticket, it was twice as high as I’d expected it to be. That would be because I hadn’t looked at the round-trip price—only the one-way.
Brilliant, Chrystal.
So you know what I did?
Yup. Mmm hmm. You guessed it.
I went back to the car rental agency.
While I eventually did get in the car and get on my way, my indecisiveness had cost me something precious—time with my grandfather, the very focus of the trip I was trying to take.
Sometimes the best decision you can make is simply to make a decision.
Making a decision seems simple enough, doesn’t it? You have at least two choices and then you pick one, right?
Yeah, right.
If that were the case, then the road of life wouldn’t be marked with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.
Analysis paralysis is real. I know this all too well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve delayed some decision or never decided at all because I was overwhelmed by overthinking the options. For me, the decision to make some changes in my hair-care regimen can result in a three-hour field trip to Target trying to determine just the right products to bring home.
I remember the time I couldn’t decide on which fitness tracker to buy, so I bought three of them. And then I wore them all simultaneously for a week to see which one was more accurate, had the better phone app, and gave me the most data on my daily activities.
By the end of the week, I was so confused that I took them all back.
I would have been better off just closing my eyes, picking one, then going home and using it.
The problem for most of us is not making a decision, it’s making a decision that results in action. Yet results come only when we take action. We have to move from thinking about it to doing something about it. Wanting to honor the girl in you is admirable, but until you’re willing to participate in that process, nothing will happen, and that’s the part of decision making where most of us get tripped up and off track.
I love helping others make decisions, probably because I know how much help I need in making them. When I realize that someone I know is struggling with indecision or having difficulty taking action on a desire of their heart, it brings me great joy to coach them to see what needs to be done and figure out how to step out in faith and do it.
Recently, I met a lifelong friend for coffee to catch up and check in on each other’s lives. After a while of what I like to call chick-chat, it was time to do what I enjoy doing most: ask questions.
I asked my friend how she was really doing. I asked about her dating life, her work life, her spiritual life, and her emotional well being. I asked her if she felt she was doing everything she could to maximize the life she had and if she was enjoying the benefits of a satisfied soul.
She said no.
When I prodded a bit, I learned that the main source of her struggle was that she hadn’t been pursuing a dream of hers. She was clear on the goal, but overwhelmed when it came to taking action. All of the options prevented her from figuring out what she should do to get started. Inundated by more choices than she knew what to do with, she had done nothing.
So I asked her a few questions to help her move from desire to decision.
What was one thing she could do today to get the ball rolling? Was there a phone call she could make or a website she could review? Did she need to set up a meeting, make more time in her schedule, or remove a commitment to create room for a new one?
Some decision is better than no decision even if the decision you can make today is small.
Some decision is better than no decision even if the decision you can make today is small. And don’t despise the small things. Doing something that might seem insignificant is still doing something. Don’t undermine your efforts by ignoring the one small thing you can do to move from thought to action. Small movements still contribute to momentum.
At nineteen, the thought of staying in college while raising a baby frightened the daylights out of me. I had no idea how all the jumbled puzzle pieces of my life could settle into a picture that made any sense. It was too much to figure out, and I honestly didn’t feel capable of solving the whole puzzle in one sitting.
But there was something I could do.
There is always something you can do.
I picked up the phone and called an admissions counselor who had welcomed me into the school the previous semester. And I made an appointment to see him.
That was it.
Sure, I later investigated my options for housing and childcare. Sure, I had to eventually work at getting more scholarships, finding a job, and figuring out transportation. But my journey to finishing my degree started with my decision to make a phone call.
I’m not suggesting the decision you need to make will be easy or quick. I’m just telling you that your decision to move toward your girl isn’t activated until you actually do something to set that decision in motion.
The move you need to make may seem hard, but you can pack one box.
The cost of college for your kids may seem daunting, but you can set aside a small amount of what you do have every month.
A habit of praying fervently may seem unattainable, but you can pray one prayer right now.
You may not know what job you are qualified to apply for, but you can scan the classifieds to see what’s out there.
The relationship you need to end may threaten to rip your heart out, but you can write down the words you need to say and practice speaking them out loud.
I’m convinced that the enemy of good decision making is the inability or unwillingness to nail desires down to a next step. Desires become decisions when they are connected to an action.
Don’t get stuck at the point of desire simply because you can’t decide what to do. You could spend way too long wishing for change when the only thing standing between you and that change is your willingness to do something—anything—that kickstarts your journey.
Desires become decisions when they are connected to an action.
Don’t get stuck talking about change either. If you’re not careful, you just might talk yourself out of the very thing God is trying to talk you into.
Yes, I know the struggle. But I’ve also learned the solution. The fastest way to escape analysis paralysis is to keep the main thing the main thing. You have to operate in light of where you hope to end up.
When Jessica McClure fell down that well, of course her mother wanted her out, but nothing happened until somebody decided to kick-start the rescue effort by calling for help. And you know why they made that call? Because they understood the main thing: getting the girl out.
So how do you keep the main thing the main thing?
I’m glad you asked.
If you’re not careful, you just might talk yourself out of the very thing God is trying to talk you into.
Habakkuk 2:2 says, “Write a vision, and make it plain so that a runner can read it” (CEB).
Based on this biblical principle, let me give you three steps to making a decision with your desired destination clearly in mind.
Step 1: Write It Down
Lee Iacocca once said, “The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.”14 It’s a proven fact that writing things down makes them more likely to happen. Writing things down is critical and important. No business could run without things being written down. Since your life is more important than any business, treat it that way by writing down the ways in which you want to grow, change, and become the person God wants you to be.
When God gave a vision to Habakkuk, He also told him to write it down. God knows that we are quick to be inspired, but often times slow to take action. When God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses, he had Moses write them down. In Revelation, when John experienced a vision of heaven, he was told by God to write down the things he saw. God knows we are notorious for getting distracted and forgetting to live continuously with the end in mind.
When you write down the desires of your heart and the destination you hope to reach, you clarify your thoughts and reinforce your intentions for tomorrow based on aspirations you hold today.
Step 2: Remember It
Don’t forget to keep your vision in plain sight. If you write your desires down and stick them in the side pocket of your purse to make friends with forgotten pieces of gum, loose change, or old lipstick, those desires will not be front and center in your mind or heart.
Write them down and put them somewhere you will see them. In your car. At your desk. As a reminder on your phone. Lipstick or Expo marker on your bathroom mirror will work too.
We need to be reminded of our intentions. We need to see them. We need a vision of the beautiful tomorrow that belongs to the girl in us, and we need to see this vision every day so we can remember to align our lives now with the girl we intend to be later.
So write down the dream that maybe you’ve forgotten or given up on.
Write down that hope you harbor in your heart.
Post that Scripture with the command you need to follow, the encouragement you need to receive, or the message you need to remember.
And then look at it as often as possible so you never forget your destination.
Step 3: Rehearse It
Habakkuk was told to write the vision and make it plain so somebody else would know about the end game as well.
Something happens when you choose to share your destination with someone else. A friend of mine puts it this way: when you share your vision with someone else, you give it oxygen. And isn’t that what we all need—a little room to breathe and believe that change is possible?
Now, pick something. Don’t stress. Don’t overanalyze. Don’t wait for the perfect time.
Remember, the first key to living with focus is to make decisions that lead to actions—even small ones—that align with your aspirations.
So act. Seal your decision by connecting it with an action.
And know that even if you’re a bit behind the eight ball—either from an indecisive period in your life or a period void of decisions at all—it’s never too late to make a choice that gets you on your way.
Eventually, I made it to my grandfather’s house and enjoyed the time I spent with him. He was happy to know I was coming and willing to wait for me once he knew I was en route to his front door.
Eventually, you will make it too.
And I know that the girl you want to be will be happy to see you.