Tears and Rain

 

Rain poured down on the tall man standing before the newly etched gravestone. The drops that struck his exposed skin sizzled, then became steam.

“I got her for you, brother,” Terian said softly.

The stone wept tears of rain that seemed to mock his words, showing them for empty verse. That’s what they were. Why should Keriam care that his murderer had been punished? He was dead now and no spell known to sorcery could call back a soul from Heaven. Even if there had been one, Terian wouldn’t have attempted it. He was half demon. Just the thought of Heaven was enough to give him a headache.

I’d surrender my soul if it would bring you back. But do I even have a soul?

Just a few months ago, Terian’s life had been simple, if miserable. Terian had lived with his mortal brother, Keriam, most of his life. His small skill in potions—learned from a sympathetic “white” witch long ago—had been enough to bring in a small income. His brother’s new wife, while not exactly compassionate, had been okay.

Then had come his brother’s death, a murder that Terian had been sure was the work of the vampire turned entrepreneur, Danial Racklan. Blinded to the danger by rage, Terian has kidnapped Danial’s lover Sarelle, and challenged the bloodsucker to a fight. He’d expected to win and be vindicated...or to lose and be put out of his misery. Instead, Danial had hurt him with a blow Terian had never seen coming: that he was not a dhamphir—a half-vampire—as he’d always thought, but instead a bastard mix of human and demon. The blessed blade Danial had used hadn’t cut deeply, but the scar still graced Terian’s cheek. It was the first wound he’d ever had that hadn’t immediately healed.

Sarelle had helped him escape certain death that night. Her kindness had been a surprise, especially as she was afraid of him like most humans were. After Terian had driven away, he’d headed to the closest church. Keriam had never been religious at all; it was his first time being near one. And “near” was as close as Terian could manage; he could not cross onto the grounds of the church, much less go inside.

He stood for a while on the sidewalk, looking at the brick structure forlornly.

“You aren’t doomed just because you can’t go in,” a solemn voice said from behind him.

Terian turned. A priest stood there, hands in his coat pockets. “Who are you?” he said, letting out some of anger, wanting to see the priest cringe away from the feelings of dread his violent emotions always evoked in others.

“Control yourself,” the man ordered. “Or you’ll make me think I’m wasting my time on you.”

Terian took a step back, forcing himself to be calm with deep breaths.

“Better,” the man allowed. “My name is Father Ben. I used to be a priest with a human flock.” He took a card and handed it to Terian. “Now I tend the larger flock that’s scattered.” There was something sad about his smile, though it was genuine. “I’ve found they need a friend the most.”

Dr. Stephen Camlyn. “This is a doctor’s card,” Terian said skeptically, turning the card over to view office hours listed on the back. Odd. Half the hours listed were mornings, the rest early evenings.

“A doctor who treats supernatural beings of all kinds. He can show you how to hide your eyes behind special colored contacts that can withstand the natural heat of your body. The fees are reasonable.” The priest handed him one more card. “Call Colin, too. He can help you adjust, give you a purpose.”

“I don’t need anyone to give me a purpose,” Terian said, flashing his pointed teeth.

“You have no morality. You have taken human lives.”

Was he guessing, or did he know about Alexa? Only ones that killed other people I loved.”

“You can pledge to fight evil, or become it,” the priest said portentously. “Only you can make the choice, demon.”

Terian looked at the card. This had been more what he’d expected. The card was swirled purple clouds, the name Colin Underwood in metallic blue in neat print across the front. But instead of some hype about paranormal investigations or magic, it said, “Existence Coach.” Across the back in the same metallic blue was the phrase, “You get one lifetime. Make the most of it.”

Terian was tempted to rip the card in two. He’d already lived a human’s lifetime, and looked only 20 years old, at most. What could this man hope to teach him?

“To lighten up, for starters,” a mirthful voice said behind him.

Terian whirled, then struck out with his fist. The man evaded him effortlessly. Terian murmured the words to the only attack spell he knew, calling up the shadows from around him to cloak him in a living cover of darkness. The man’s eyes widened, then he murmured words, making his hands into fists, then snapping them open, throwing a still-forming shimmering silver ball of light toward Terian. The light smashed into his shadows, scattering them to leave him revealed before it faded.

“What do you want?” Terian growled, drawing his boot knife.

The man held up his hands in supplication. “Not to fight.” He laughed. “That’s my card you’re holding. I’m Colin. I felt your wish. I’ve built a sort of homing device into the cards, so I can teleport to anyone who holds a card.” He put his hands down, some of his levity leaving him. “Sometimes even that’s too long.”

“What can you hope to teach me?” Terian said bitterly. “I already know really well how the world works, Colin. I don’t need any happy bullshit.”

“To teach you hope,” Colin said, offering Terian his hand. “And maybe a few more defensive spells, not that Calling Shadows is lightweight.”

“You foiled it easily enough,” Terian said sullenly, not making a move.

“Because I’ve studied magic, specifically defensive spells, for close to a hundred years,” Colin replied. “That isn’t a common spell, so most people wouldn’t know the rebuttal. Who taught you?”

“A witch,” Terian admitted grudgingly. “She knew I was different, and she was nice to me. She taught me all the magic I know.”

“Was she your mother?”

Terian shook his head. “My mother died giving birth to me. I never knew my father. My only family was my brother. He died less than a month ago.”

“I can teach you more spells,” Colin offered. “I have more than a few tomes you are welcome to borrow, if you’re interested. It’s all white magic.”

A crow scolded harshly from the trees above him, shaking Terian out of his reminiscing. He pulled his coat around his shoulders, then moved off toward his truck. There would be time enough for pondering what his next move would be on the road. Right now, he had to get out of New York State before Theo caught up with him. That werecougar friend of Danial’s would kill him if he had the chance.

Terian started his truck, then plotted a route west. Theo likely wouldn’t pursue him beyond the boundaries of New York state, his boss Danial’s territory. Danial wanted Terian dead, because of his friendship with Sarelle. Sar had saved Terian’s life that night he’d fought with Danial. She’d repaid his holding her hostage with kindness instead of the killing blow he’d expected.

She doesn’t love you. She never did.

Sar had risked a lot to help him. Terian had returned her kindness by telling her of Danial’s secret request for two expensive potions. Demon blood was an expensive ingredient needed for its creation. Half-demon blood was a less expensive option, but needed to be doubled when used in spellwork as a replacement for full-demon blood. Terian thought darkly that he could sell his blood and never have to make another potion himself, if he was inclined.

Sar had brushed his warning about complicated potions aside, refusing to believe Danial was up to no good. When she’d discovered too late her vampire had hoped to start his own immortal family with her as mom, she’d left Danial. Terian had also discovered Danial’s plans, and known he had to warn her. He’d found Sar at her old home that New Year’s Eve, distraught and mourning a broken heart. To cheer her, he’d given her a late Christmas present of magical wings. She’d been so happy. She’d never suspected he’d laced the spell with a bit of extra magic.

You’re as much a liar as Danial ever was.

I needed to know, Terian thought defensively. I needed to know if she could love me.

Sar is good. You’re evil. She couldn’t love you. That’s why Sundown couldn’t love you either.

Sundown had been an exotic dancer Terian had stumbled across when he stopped to get some food late one night. Her long dirty blond hair was a ringer for Sar’s, even if her personality was completely different. They’d briefly dated and lived together. But as much as Sundown craved the stability of a relationship, her distrust of men was deep. Terian had asked her to commit and Sundown had refused, her learned ferocity lashing out in cruelty.

“Don’t you care about me?” he’d said in a small tentative voice.

“It was just sex to me, like I’ve had with dozens of men.”

Terian had known she was lying. His supernatural hearing was acute enough to hear her inside crying as he drove away with his stuff. But he also couldn’t heal someone so broken, not without their cooperation. Colin had taught him that.

“Without hope, you are doomed, Terian. Life is hope. If you want to survive, you have to believe that things can get better.”

There was nothing left for him here. It was time to leave, to go far away West, like he’d planned a few months ago. Colin’s home base was in Denver. Terian needed a fresh shot of hope about now.

* * * *

“There is no comfort in deep-rooted pain,” a feminine voice said gently, breaking the silence of the library. “Remembering the past won’t heal wounds, it will only keep them fresh.”

Terian looked up into deep blue eyes. A beautiful woman stood above him, her long black hair in a glossy braid over one shoulder. Her expression was sincere.

“You’re a sorceress,” he stated.

The woman nodded. “My name is Monica Remmin. And you are?”

Was this a friend of Colin? How had she found him, when Colin didn’t know yet that Terian had even arrived? “Terian.”

“No last name? Or is that you’re working name?”

“Let’s say it will suffice for now,” Terian said, rubbing his eyes. “Did you come to kick me out of the library?”

Monica smiled. “No. I think you have another hour before they close. I wanted to say hello and ask if you want to join my coven.”

Terian looked at her, bemused. “You must sense what I am. Are you sure?” He let his lips part, giving her a glimpse of his many rows of pointed demon teeth.

Monica’s smile faltered a little. “I take it that you’ve been looking for answers. I got word that a half-demon was coming this way with a propensity for trouble.”

“I’m not here for trouble,” Terian said hastily.

“But it follows you, doesn’t it?” Monica prodded. “You’ve stayed on the move because of what you attribute to bad luck.” She leaned closer. “But it’s not bad luck, Terian. It’s a revenant on your tail.”

Terian shook his head in disbelief. “That’s bullshit. I’ve lived for seventy-five years and never seen a ghost.”

“That doesn’t mean they haven’t seen you,” she said darkly. She held out a card with an address on it. “Come tonight to my home. I think I can help you.”

What was it with people wanting to help him handing him business cards? “Why would you help me?” Terian said, making no move to take the card. “When everyone else I meet usually wants me to keep moving?”

“Because there is more to you than you know,” Monica said cryptically. “And I’m meant to help you.” She moved to walk away, but Terian leaped up, grabbing her by the hand and yanking her backward. His red eyes bored into hers, the color flooding through his concealing contact lenses. Evil permeated the room, making Monica shiver even as she tried to hold still.

“Tell me and don’t lie,” Terian growled, showing his rows of pointed teeth as persuasion. “I’ve had enough lies. What do you want with me?”

“I had a vision of you,” Monica stammered. “That’s it! I do a spell every New Year’s, and ask for guidance for the following year. It showed me several people I knew, and one stranger. You were the stranger. So when I saw you here I knew I had to come over and find out who you were...even sensing what you are.”

Terian loosened his grip on her. Monica pulled away, straightening up.

“I don’t understand.”

“Visions are usually puzzles,” Monica said, irritation distinct in each clipped word. “With the other people, I know what I’m supposed to do, because I know them. But with you, I have no idea.”

Terian studied her, wondering how much to believe her. Monica gave every indication that she was on the level. But was she?

“Come tonight,” Monica said again. “Please. No one wants to hurt you here.” She turned and walked quickly away.

Terian watched her go, then looked down at the card she’d managed to slip into his hand. He’d go, just to see what kind of witches Monica kept company with.

* * * *

Monica’s base of operations was nothing like the witch’s lair Terian expected. Her small brick home was cozy with plentiful flowers, and the small one-level red barn at the back had been completely modernized into one plain white room and a set of bathrooms. He sat at a large conference table with twenty other men and women in their early twenties and thirties, most of whom were in casual dress.

“Good, we’re all here,” Monica said cheerfully. “Please everyone, welcome Terian, who is here by my invitation tonight.”

Most of the people murmured a greeting, which Terian returned awkwardly.

The rest of the night was forgettable. Terian would have left after the first ten minutes, but he hadn’t wanted to call attention to himself. All these “spellcasters” were of amateur level; young wives trying to win back their straying husbands through love spells, and men with goals of finding a way to beat the odds at gaming tables. Terian left the vapid discussion as soon as he was able. As he walked out, a shadow descended on him, floating ghostlike through the air. At first, he was entertained, thinking it to be some trick of Monica’s to impress him into staying. But as it reached him, a sharp odor of lilacs reached him. He fell to his knees, trying to breathe and found his air was constricted. He lashed out with power, and a supernatural shriek rent the air. The scent thickened, then a veil of darkness descended as Terian fell prostrate on the ground.

Keriam was lying on the floor, his face a twisted grimace of pain, his hands claws that had ripped out tufts of carpet as he’d writhed in pain. With a scream, Terian ran to him, gathering the lifeless body to him. Loss and loneliness crashed down on him.

“No!”

There was nothing he could do. He was too late again, too late to save his brother, too late, always too late...

A sharp crack of a gunshot echoed loud in Terian’s ears. Then there was the sound of guttural swearing. Terian felt a hand in his. He roused himself just in time to be pulled to his feet by a man who had the same brown hair and facial features as Colin, yet his eyes were as red as Terian’s.

“Demon or not, your ass is going to be toast if you don’t learn to let things go,” the man said grumpily. “Didn’t Colin teach you not to dwell on your pain?”

“You’re Colin’s brother,” Terian said in astonishment.

“You’re a bright one,” the man said with sarcasm, though he smiled. “Half-brother, as you of all people can probably tell. I’m Balt.”

What the hell was he supposed to say? Commiserating on their shared demon lineage seemed just as bad as saying that it didn’t matter. “Yes,” Terian managed.

“Colin told me to expect you,” Balt continued, “He’s waiting for us, if you’re ready to leave. Unless you want that ghost to come back and finish tearing you up.”

“Let’s go,” Terian said, relieved.

Balt took Terian back to a small chain hotel with an attached restaurant on a seedy street of bars, strip clubs, and small motels. Colin was there at the hotel bar, nursing a drink and talking to a tall knockout of a woman dressed in red. She shot Terian a smile as she left. He didn’t return it, averting his eyes.

“Sit down,” Colin told him, motioning to the bartender. “Bring a beer for my brother and another scotch for me. Terian, what do you want?”

“Nothing,” Terian said flatly.

“Bring him a vodka,” Balt said over his protest. “He can’t bitch about it if he can’t taste the alcohol. I’m going to hit the head.”

The bartender brought the drinks in a few minutes, while Terian filled Colin in on what had happened since their last meeting.

“Why did you do that to Sar?” Colin asked, clearly disappointed. “I didn’t loan you those books to use them like that. I’ve told you before that you can’t force people.”

“I wasn’t forcing her to do anything,” Terian argued.

“You’re magic made her give voice to emotions she didn’t want to talk about,” Colin stated. “That’s force.”

“I just wanted to know how she felt, so I could decide to stay or leave.”

“She told you she was in a relationship with another man. Wasn’t that cause enough to leave?”

Terian didn’t answer.

“It’s the demon part of you that will want to control people,” Colin warned. “Demons like power. They like to make things happen.”

“My intentions were good ones.”

Colin gave Terian a scathing look. “Do I really have to tell you the old saying about good intentions?”

Balt sat down on the stool next to them, taking a long drink of his beer. “I see he’s giving you the usual upbeat pep talk. Ignore him. It works for me.”

“I’m warning him, because someone had to,” Colin said grumpily. “And you’d be better off if you were less flippant about your own situation.”

“You’d be better off teaching him a little more magic to defend himself,” Balt retorted emphatically. “That ghost last night might have killed him, if I hadn’t stopped by to drop off those books to Monica for you.”

“Who is she?” Terian said, eager to turn the conversation away from himself. “She made herself out to be a sorceress, but she’s more like a poseur.”

“She’s just young,” Balt said brusquely, surprising Terian with his defensive tone. “She can do minor spells like make illusions, and she’s a fair healer. She’s got the talent for becoming a sorceress to be reckoned with.”

“But she cares a little too much about the romance of magic,” Colin added. “She’s another one that doesn’t see her own vulnerability.”

“If you’re afraid all the time of bad things happening, how are you supposed to enjoy your life?” Balt countered, sounding irritated. He got up and stalked away.

“Don’t mind him,” Colin said. “He’s sweet on Monica, if you hadn’t noticed.” His tone turned concerned. “But he’s right that you need to worry about this ghost. Most don’t have enough power to kill a half-demon, but they’ll make you suffer. Next time use a dissipation spell. You hit it with that a few times and it’ll leave you alone for good.”

As much as Terian had wanted to talk shop with his old friend, it was Balt he wanted to speak to now. Who could give him better advice than someone who was the same sort of being he was? “Are you staying here? I’m sorry but I need to crash. I haven’t slept since I got here.”

Colin looked at him, unsmiling. “Go after him, if you want. Just be careful.”

Terian gave Colin an odd look, but slid off the stool and went after Balt. The man was chatting up the girl in red who had been talking to Colin inside. He turned as Terian approached. “Terian, this is Rhinestone.”

“Hi,” Rhinestone said with a big smile. “I asked him who you were. I hope you don’t mind.” She made a point of getting out her keychain. “I live just down the street. Would you walk me home?”

“Why would he mind?” Balt said a little overzealously, slapping Terian on the back. “He’d be glad to.”

Terian looked over Rhinestone with an appraising glance. She was pretty, young, and obviously had getting laid on her mind. And he wanted no part of her. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. But it’s good to meet you, Rhinestone.”

Rhinestone looked uncertainly from Terian back to Balt, obviously wondering why he wasn’t anxious to take her offer of sex.

“Hold,” Balt intoned. Suddenly everything froze still. Rhinestone looked comical, as if she’d begun to speak and stopped. Even the breeze had disappeared, the leaves of the trees caught at odd angles above their heads.

“Impressive,” Terian commented, trying to ascertain how far around them the spell reached.

“I’m not a high-level wizard,” Balt said with braggadocio. “But I try to push myself as far as I can. I try to live. What’s your excuse?”

“I’m doing what I—”

“You need to get whatever pleasure you can, while you can,” Balt interrupted roughly. “How long do you think you have to fuck around mooning over a woman you left back east?”

“Eternity,” Terian derided. “We’re immortal, remember?”

“And what half do we get that from?” Balt smirked back evilly. “Not the human half. The older we get, the more the human half ages. The more our human resolve weakens, the more the balance of power shifts.”

Terian’s face relaxed from animosity to unexpected confusion. “What are you saying?”

“That being half demon is not like being half something else. The demon side wants to call the shots.” His red eyes burned in the gloom. “Sooner or later you’ll have a weak moment and that side of you is going to take control.”

Fear coursed through Terian, chilling him. “That isn’t possible.”

“It comes in the night like a dream,” Balt said wearily. “The whispers of temptation, the images of depravity, how good the abandonment of your scruples would feel. Then one day you wake up and you’re doing those things you imagined and enjoying them.”

“If that happens—”

“When it happens,” Balt corrected. “Then it’s over. There’s no healing, no going back, nothing but getting put down like a rabid dog. Demon hunters are more prolific than vampire hunters and werepoachers combined right now. Think about that.” He snapped his fingers and the air rushed back, the breeze blowing, ruffling the tree leaves.

“Hey, um—” Rhinestone began.

“I’ll walk you home,” Balt said, slipping his arms around Rhinestone’s shoulders. “We’ll leave him to Rosy Palm and her five sisters.”

Terian watched them walk away laughing, then headed back inside. Colin was there, standing at the bar, chatting up another statuesque redhead. She also moved away as Terian came up, shooting him a shy smile. This time Terian smiled back, enjoying the surprise in the girl’s eyes as she mouthed the word hi at him before heading away.

“Her name is Peaches,” Colin said. “Not sure why. You’d think she’d have chosen a stage name like Red Hot or something instead—”

“Balt told me I’m going to turn demon eventually,” Terian said. “Is that true?”

“You know, there is nothing subtle about you at all,” Colin said, chuckling. “It’s bracing, yet also so easy to deal with.” He studied Terian. “How old are you?”

“You already know I’m close to seventy-five or so,” Terian stated. “Tell me the truth.”

“Balt is twenty-five,” Colin said, taking a large sip of his whisky. “Already he has a tendency to be on edge almost all the time. He enjoys violence. And every month it gets worse.”

Did Colin count sexual appetites for strippers among his brother’s faults? Probably not, if he was indulging, too. “You’re saying he’s turning into a full demon.”

Colin nodded.

“Can’t you do anything?”

“Like what?” Colin said, wiping at one of his bleary bloodshot eyes. “Go back and make my father not summon a demon for a sexual plaything? Go back and not have him wish for another son, one who was taller and stronger and faster than his thoughtful firstborn?” He repositioned his empty drink glass. “I’m half faerie, because my father tried that first in his quest for power. My mother took me and left him. Balt’s mother couldn’t leave; she was my father’s servant. She finally had him killed to free herself.”

“How did you find out about Balt?”

“He found me one night. You remember that priest you met outside that church?”

“Yes,” Terian said, narrowing his eyes. “He never told me his name.”

“He prefers not to give it. He’s kind of a local intermediary.” Colin’s voice dropped to a whisper. “There’s more than the normal concentration of supernatural beings in the bigger cities of the heavily populated states. It’s easier to blend in a crowd, because no one looks too close.” He paused, as if gathering himself. “Balt came to a small church one night. He’d gotten drunk and beaten a man badly. He’d been in bad foster homes and been abused himself. His control of his demon half was slipping.” Colin faced Terian. “He was only sixteen.”

“I’m sorry,” Terian murmured.

“You and me both,” Colin said sadly.

They sat in silence for a while.

“What will you do?” Terian asked.

“I know what I should do,” Colin whispered. “If I killed him now, he’d have a chance at going to Heaven, maybe. If I wait until he becomes fully demon, he’s got no chance.” He drained his glass, then looked at Terian. Tears glistened on his cheeks. “Full demons are immortal, but all they get to do is ferry back and forth from Hell to earth. They spend their lives serving evil people, being tortured, and torturing others.”

“How much time is left?”

“Not much.”

Colin gave Terian a grief-stricken look, swallowed hard, then grabbed at his new whiskey. He drank it down, then called for another.

Terian got up and left. While he wanted badly to comfort his friend, he was too afraid for himself to be of any use.

You’ve never had any sign. No dreams of carnage, no tendencies to indulge. Hell, you were a virgin until that first night with Sundown. Maybe some of that was due to the parents’ inclinations toward evil themselves? Balt’s mother had been a demon and his father an equally bad human. That had to count for something, if both parents behaved like fiends.

You duped Sar. You betrayed her trust.

That had been innocent. He’d never have caused her any kind of pain. He hadn’t pushed her for anything beyond the kiss to activate the spell to know her true feelings. Plus he’d shared in the spell himself; after the kiss Terian had been unable to hide his own feelings. And it hadn’t mattered anyway...

Terian walked outside, catching Peaches walking unsteadily to her car in her 3” heels. When she leaned on his arm and asked him to help her home, he agreed.

* * * *

Sar, I’m okay. I’m learning a lot out here about myself and I hope you’re doing well. Here’s my address and phone, if you need to contact me. I hope you’re well.

Terian paused after the period, wondering what else to write, his guilt bearing down like a fist between his shoulder blades. It had been two full months now since he’d seen Sar. Was she happy? Was she back together with Danial? While he wanted badly to know, he knew it was better not to push her for anything beyond friendship. Colin was right about that. Just like Bart had been about the girls at the Naughty Nymph...

“What are you writing, baby?” Rhinestone said, leaning over one shoulder.

“A letter to an old friend,” he said easily, kissing her rouged and powdered cheek. “Interested in a shower?”

“I just got dressed,” she complained.

“I know,” he said meaningfully. Picking her up, he threw her over one shoulder then walked off to the bathroom as she laughed and shrieked.

* * * *

“Have you been practicing spells to dissipate wraiths?” Colin said searchingly, the tinny sound loud in Terian’s ear through the cell phone’s receiver.

“Yes,” Terian responded patiently, trying to shift in his chair to get better reception. “I’ve learned most of the defensive spells in volume three. If you’ll give me the fourth, I’ll begin that one tomorrow. All I need to finish is to polish up on conjuring the blue fire. I can get it to form now, but it takes close to an hour. I want to get that down to a few minutes, if possible.”

“Very good,” Colin said with approval. “You’re making remarkable progress. Maybe you have some faerie blood in you.”

That would be nice. Better than demon blood, anyway. “Maybe.”

“Have you tried healing?”

“Not yet,” Terian said, not wanting to admit his failed attempts at healing a simple strand of hair he’d cut in two.

“Volume four is the hardest. Demons usually know the most magic of all the supernatural races, not counting faeries. It’s the long lived races that tend to amass the knowledge. Human lifetimes generally aren’t long enough—”

“What about vampires?” Terian asked. “Are many of them versed in magic?”

“Usually none, unless in life they were a practitioner. The most knowledgeable currently living is Sola, the oathed one of the Vampire Ruler of Canada, Ebediah. But that’s very rare. It’s far more common for vampires to employ sorcerers long lived like themselves—”

Terian only half listened. Instead he replayed his words to a woman he loved, berating himself each time for having let them slip out.

It wouldn’t ever matter how many years had passed, Sar. Not to me. Why had he said that to her, with all the things he might have said? The last thing she probably wanted was another reminder of her mortality. It was obvious that she’d hurried to get off the phone right after. Then to make matters worse, she’d guessed about the potion he’d given her.

Terian, tell me the truth. Did you put something extra in the potion for growing wings?

He’d admitted dosing her with the truth spell. She’d taken it well, all things considered. The hardest truth was that what Terian had done had given Sar a magical dream of her soul mate—or an equivalent—and that person hadn’t been him. It had been someone else.

“I’ve got to go,” Colin said abruptly. “I’ll call you back tonight.”

Terian hung up, then looked out the library window.

I wish I’d never done any of it. Colin was right. It would have been better not to know. The worst had been Sar thanking him for what he’d done to help her find her new guy, whomever he was. Probably some full blood human...

“How are you making out?” Monica said, her question breaking Terian’s concentration.

“Good, thanks,” he said, flashing her a smile. She returned one, the slight motion putting a spark in her deep blue eyes that heightened her beauty.

Monica had never tried for more than friendliness in the months Terian had been here. He thought it had to be the demon side of him; that it scared her. Not that he’d had trouble in the love department, as Balt called it. Rhinestone and Peaches—as well as other girls who worked the unhallowed poles of Papa’s Pleasure House and Naughty Nymphs—had been more than forthcoming on several occasions. But they would never be what Sar was to him. They would never be what Sun had been once, either.

Balt kept saying that you had to take advantage of what you were offered, and not pass “the willing” up. But enjoyable as Terian’s nights were now, there was a sameness to them that resembled the vapid conversation of Monica’s group. The sex was great, yes, but it wasn’t meaningful.

“I wasn’t sure you’d be here tonight,” Monica remarked. “You’ve been busy lately.”

By her tone, she meant his liaisons. “Are you jealous?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Monica snapped.

“Then why would you care?” Terian pressed. “What is it to you who I spend my nights with?”

Monica turned to him, furious. “You know the thin line you balance on? Don’t follow in Balt’s footsteps. He’s going to lead you straight into hell.”

“Aren’t I already destined to go there?” Terian said drolly. “Being demon and all, you know.”

“You’re only part demon. You could do something that matters—”

“Oh really?” Terian said cruelly. “Like your self-help group of stockbrokers and desperate housewives? How is that shifting the balance between good and evil in the world, Monica?”

She gaped at him, crestfallen. “They can’t help as they don’t have the talent you and I have. They’re doing the best they can.”

“No. they aren’t,” Terian stated. “And neither are you. Before you get on your high horse about fighting the good fight, you might actually want to spend some time yourself in the trenches.”

Monica blinked in shock, then flushed red. “You bastard.”

“I’d rather be a bastard than a fake like you,” Terian said, gathering his things. “Bye.” He walked out, leaving Monica staring after him.

Terian put his things on the passenger side of his truck, then got behind the wheel. He gripped it hard with both hands. Why did I say that to her? What is wrong with me?

Angry at himself, Terian drove to his apartment. He pulled in the driveway, only to find someone else was already there in his spot, the engine of the small compact car running.

Terian forced himself to be calm, then got out and approached the intruder. As he drew even with the driver’s door, it opened suddenly, making Terian jump back.

“Good reflexes,” the young man said. He drew a gun, pointed it at Terian’s chest, and fired point blank.

There was no time to duck, no time to do anything but scream as the bullet passed through his heart and out his back. Terian fell to his knees snarling in pain, his hands tight against the wound trying to stop the blood loss.

“Give it a minute,” the man said, lighting up a cigarette. “You’ll be as good as new.”

Terian looked up the stranger with hate.

“I’m Kyle,” the man said, taking a little bow. “Demon hunter, if you haven’t guessed.”

“Why not...just kill me?” Terian managed to say, his panic lessening as he felt his body begin to heal the gunshot wound.

“Because you aren’t full demon,” Kyle said, matter of fact. “If you were, you’d be dead. I’d have dipped that bullet in holy water, enough to knock you down so you couldn’t run. Then I’d have drowned you in it so you burned.”

“So what is this,” Terian asked, standing warily. “A warning?”

“Yes,” Kyle said with a smile. “I understand from mutual acquaintance that you’re trying hard to be one of the good guys. But I wanted to let you know that if you decide to go over to the other side, I or one of my brethren will come for you.”

These were the demon hunters Balt had talked about. “You’d be safer taking me out now. If you have the stones for it.”

Kyle did a double take, then chuckled. “You’re just full of self-destruction, aren’t you? That must come from the demon side.”

“How would you know?” Terian said dully.

“Because I’ve known a lot of half-demons in my time,” Kyle said, his voice losing its camaraderie. “They all went over, eventually. Those with human blood go over first usually, before they’re thirty. The ones with other non-human blood can stave off the change longer—”

Terian didn’t want to hear this again. Screw him, and being demon and everything to do with it. He turned and walked to his house, getting his keys out.

“You’re just leaving?” Kyle called after him. “In the middle of our talk?”

“Yes. You need to shoot me, go ahead.” Terian went inside, closed the door, then locked it. He lay down on the couch, thinking. A new plan of action was overdue and couldn’t be put off any longer.

God, all he’d done since he got here was think and learn magic and have meaningless sex. Maybe that was all Balt wanted out of his life but Terian wanted more, even if Sundown and Sar weren’t part of the picture.

Everyone wanted something from him. Monica wanted him to change the world for the greater good. Balt wanted a play buddy, someone like him to share women with and spend time talking about their inevitable doom while getting hammered on alcohol. His lovers wanted some exotic boyfriend or lover and nothing more. And Colin...Colin wanted Terian’s help in killing Balt before he became a full demon, so his brother’s soul would get a chance to go to heaven.

And how long after I helped kill him would Colin take to decide that I was also better off dead?

Terian didn’t want any of those things. Moreover, he wasn’t going to do them. He’d been playing at life for too long. The time for acting was over.

He’d stay until he learned the last tome of magic, the fourth volume. Colin said he was making phenomenal progress, so it should go quickly. Then he’d go back East, and try again with Sundown. They had loved one another once. Maybe it could work, if he didn’t push her so hard.

Sar...he’d always love her, but she was happy with her soul mate now. Even though that hurt, at least she had to be safe from Danial now. Being friends would have to be enough.

* * * *

Several more weeks passed as Terian flew through the fourth volume of magic, learning some elaborate spells of defense, including one for ripping apart hearts metaphysically.

“I don’t know why you’re bothering with that, when you easily have the strength to rip out a human’s heart with your own hand,” Balt said dubiously, studying the page.

“Because it’s easier to kill without making a mess,” Colin said, looking up from his own book. “There aren’t allowances to kill someone if they’re evil under human law. This way it looks like a heart attack, at least from the outside.”

“If they open the body, though, they’d see the heart was destroyed,” Balt replied. “So if you’ve got to destroy the evidence anyway, why bother making it clean?”

“I’m not learning this to murder people,” Terian said, annoyed. “I’m learning it in defense, as a case of last resort.”

“Okay,” Balt said, holding his hands up. “I’m just making an observation.”

“An undue one,” Colin added, glancing up in reproach.

Balt laughed, then pushed Terian’s book down just a bit, getting his attention. “Do you have some time this evening? There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Terian rolled his eyes. “The Naughty Nymph get a new girl?”

“Yes,” Balt said with a big smile. “And she wants to make your acquaintance tonight at Happy’s.”

“Sure then,” Terian said. “About eleven?”

“That’s fine,” Balt said.

Terian waited at Happy’s later that night, kicking himself for having agreed to come. The bar was crowded with Saturday college kids, as well as regulars. His supernatural hearing was almost on overload, the crack of pool balls melding with the loud talking, live music, and pretzel crunching to create a din.

“Here he is,” Balt said at Terian’s back. “Terian, meet Patricia.”

Terian turned. A gorgeous woman stood there, her expression bemused and seductive. Her platinum hair was cut in a pageboy style, her outfit a very low cut business suit. “Are you supposed to be a nympho CEO?” he asked.

The woman laughed loudly. “You’ll make a great demon when the time comes. You’ve already got down the humor.”

Terian went motionless, staring at the woman. She smiled back, her gorgeous blue eyes flooding with red, an ocean of black evil flowing out of her.

She was a demon.

“Don’t look so spooked,” Patricia said kindly, the evil feeling dissipating. “You’ve heard the worst about us from the bible thumpers. Being demon can be a lot of fun, so long as you stay on the right side of Hell’s rules.”

“Which you’re going to tell me, right?” Terian said, letting his own heat and blackness billow forth.

“Only if you want to hear it,” Patricia said. “Hell’s awash in demons, and we aren’t soliciting for more. But you’re part of the club already, because of your lineage. It’s my calling to seek out those on the fence, so to speak, and give them full disclosure.”

“Really? Where were you for the last fifty years?” Terian said curtly. “I didn’t recently become a half-demon, you know.”

“No, but you kept to yourself,” Patricia countered. “You knew only very low level magic and you didn’t want any part of the human world. Contrary to popular belief, Hell doesn’t want just anybody; we want the go-getters, the hard workers, the ambitious and driven. You came to our attention recently, when you began learning more magic—”

The demon prattled on, praising Terian, but he tuned her out. This was just another person wanting something from him.

“There are added benefits,” Patricia said with a pointed smile, slipping her finger into her cleavage and stroking slightly.

“What, besides you?” Terian said bluntly.

“What do you want?” Patricia said, still smiling. Her red eyes gleamed like fresh blood in sunlight. “Or who, should I say? I understand that you came out here because a relationship didn’t work out—”

“Leave me alone,” Terian said, dropping his human mask. He snarled, baring his rows of pointed teeth. “Get out of my sight!”

There was a sudden scream, one of the college girls pointing at Terian. He resumed his mask, but others had already seen him. There was a mass panic, people running for the exit, some of them shouting there was a fire in their confusion. A girl screamed, then went down in the melee, the wet crunch of her broken neck echoing in Terian’s ears.

“Lovely,” Patricia said with glee. “And she’s not remotely devout, either.” She turned, heading for the body as the last patrons shoved their way free into the night air. Balt followed her, curious.

Terian stood as Patricia knelt, then jammed her hands into the girl’s body. The demon leaned backwards, pulling hard. Then a ghostly figure came free of the body, the indistinct form emitting a whimpering sound.

“None of that,” Patricia said with relish. “You had your whole life to make a decision, to believe. It’s too late now.”

The ghostly figure began to shriek, then writhe as Patricia pulled it close in an embrace.

A shot rang out. Patricia crumpled, cursing. The ghostly figure swayed, then fled back down into the motionless body on the floor, disappearing.

Four hooded men came through the door in a rush, guns drawn and pointed. They surrounded Patricia, while one covered Terian and Balt. “There was only supposed to be the one half-demon,” one of them said in confusion.

“Doesn’t matter. Do the exorcism, Father,” Kyle said, throwing back his hood to reveal himself.

Another hooded man produced a small electronic device and began to read off it, the language Latin. Kyle threw something on Patricia. She flinched, then cursed them. “Do it and see what happens,” she growled. “Next time I return it will be for you and your team!” She let out another scream as more holy water hit her.

Balt took a step, and Terian stopped him. “Don’t help her.”

“That could be us,” Balt said, shaking him off. “Don’t you get it? They didn’t come for her. They came for me.”

“That can’t be,” Terian said. “You haven’t done anything.”

“Haven’t I?” Balt said, his tone chilling.

“You haven’t done anything bad,” Terian said stubbornly.

“Don’t move,” the man holding the gun warned.

“You’ll shoot me as soon as she’s dead,” Balt said. Then he launched himself at the man, toppling him and knocking him on his back. The man fired seven times in succession, blowing a huge hole in Balt’s back, distracting the priest and Kyle from the exorcism.

Terian watched, wanting to help but not knowing what to do. If I try to break it up they’ll both fight me.

Patricia rose, her taloned hand slashing out to slit the throat of the priest. Then she went for Kyle, gashing his side as he leapt backward. Balt was on his back, fighting the man who’d traded his gun for a machete.

Sar wouldn’t stand here and watch a friend be killed.

Terian uttered the beginning of the spell to tear hearts, then saw the long blade descending. Moving fast, he shoved the man off Balt, then punched him.

“Thanks,” Balt coughed, pulling out the tip of the blade.

Terian turned slightly to reply, then felt a heavy blow. He went sprawling, twitching slightly. Balt roared, then came the sounds of scuffling. Patricia was still howling and cursing.

Why can’t I move? Terian tried to move his arms, his head, his legs, and couldn’t. Am I dead?

Patricia lunged for Kyle and he parried her with a table, breaking it on her shoulder. She dropped, then staggered back up immediately, bloodied. “You can’t send me to hell without your priest, hunter! I’ll be eating your soul tonight—” She lunged again at Kyle. He shoved another table in front of her, blocking her.

“So afraid,” she snickered evilly. “But then that’s why you hunt us, isn’t it? Because you’re afraid—” She went rigid, cutting off her words then whipped around as undulating red and black fire washed over her. Patricia let out an unholy screech of agony, then danced wildly, setting fire to everything she touched, even plastic and metal. Then she darted for Colin, who was standing, yelling furiously, words to conjure more fire as black and gold flames formed in his left hand.

“No!” Balt yelled. He darted toward Colin, getting between the burning demon and his brother. Patricia knocked into him, Balt letting out a howl as he wrestled with her, flames rapidly running up his arms. Colin finished the hellfire spell and flung the ball of fire at Patricia, knocking the burning demon off his brother. She convulsed again with the second blast, then collapsed, burning brightly.

“Outside!” Kyle yelled. “The place is going up!”

Terian watched Kyle and his remaining man flee, still struggling to move himself. He managed with effort to finally turn over, straightening his spine. Suddenly he felt the healing return, the feeling come back to his arms and legs. He used a table to pull himself upright. Colin was struggling with Balt, trying to get him out of the rapidly escalating conflagration.

Terian grabbed Balt’s other arm. Together, he and Colin dragged the prone giant of a man out of the burning building. They set him down on the wet gravel of the parking lot, rain pelting their faces. Steam rose up from Balt, the remaining flames on him quickly extinguished.

“Always saving my ass,” Balt groaned. “Why can’t you ever manage to get there before I’m hurt?”

“Be quiet,” Colin said, stripping off Balt’s shirt. It came off only partially, the left side melted into his flesh.

Terian looked down at the seared and blistered flesh. “Do you want me to help you get him to your home? What do you need? I can bring it here.”

“No,” Balt said. “Leave it.”

“You’re not dying here in this fucking parking lot,” Colin screeched out hysterically. “Terian, get the car.”

“No,” Kyle said from behind them, brandishing a gun. “You aren’t saving him so he can kill someone else.”

Terian hid his left hand, then began to murmur the words to create blue fire as Colin stood and faced Kyle down. “He’s my brother and I’m not letting him die.”

“He killed a stripper last week,” Kyle said coldly. “He’s on the verge of becoming demon, Colin. I know he’s your brother, but that can’t matter.”

“You don’t put aside your blood,” Colin said, advancing. “If you had any family you’d know that.”

“I did have a family,” Kyle said bitterly, his gun unwavering. “I had a sister. A demon killed her. He was half, just like your brother, until the night he raped and murdered her.”

Terian braced himself, murmuring the words as fast as he dared. The fire was forming, but it needed a few more precious seconds.

“I can save him,” Colin said, edging toward the car.

Kyle fired, striking Colin in the chest. The man went down hard on his back, his left leg twitching.

The blue fire finished forming, the sheer heat of it making Terian sweat. He braced himself to throw it at Kyle, then felt Balt take hold of his arm, stopping him. “No,” Balt whispered. “He’s not lying. This is easier...for everyone.”

Terian looked down at him in horror. Balt gave him a faint smile, then closed his eyes, relaxing back into the mud.

Kyle walked to Terian, holstering his gun. “Is he gone?”

Terian checked for a pulse. There was none. “Yes.”

“I’ve heard the rain being called God’s Tears,” Kyle mused. “But I’ve never heard of it putting out hellfire before.”

Terian didn’t answer.

There was the wail of sirens in the distance, coming closer.

“Good luck,” Kyle said to Terian. “I’m sorry you got in the middle of this, but—”

Everything froze, including the raindrops which hung suspended, millions of them glittering. Then slowly Colin sat up, his eyes glowing red.

“No,” Kyle breathed. “You aren’t demon, you were faerie half-breed, like me—”

“Not all demons are born in hell,” Colin said, baring his rows of pointed teeth. “Some are made from the hells they’re forced to endure.” He stood carefully, then began murmuring a spell.

Kyle thrashed, trying to flee, but he only wobbled, his feet not lifting from the ground.

“You have hunted for years, unrelenting and unmerciful,” Colin said darkly, “I curse you now to be hunted yourself, forever.” He spoke a word, and Kyle recoiled, holding his head and screaming. “Run all you want, and you’ll be found.”

Kyle looked up, his brown eyes terrified.

Colin gestured. The glistening raindrops plummeted to earth, the world in motion again. Kyle leapt up and ran, his remaining friend following. They started the car, then drove it off squealing.

Colin came to Balt’s side and knelt. He picked his brother up, and began carrying him to his car. Terian watched, then reluctantly followed.

Hours later, Terian stood with Colin near a freshly covered grave. Colin was using the tip of one newly taloned hand to carve the stone. The etching noise was grating on Terian’s nerves, though he said nothing.

Colin finished the stone, then set it in place. Carefully, he broke a piece of rosebush off a wild white rose, and pushed it into the earth. With a few words, the demon cast a spell of growth, the branch putting down roots and flowering to a wide mat of white flowers covering the fresh earth.

“It looks nice,” Terian offered.

“I know you don’t know what to say,” Colin remarked, his eyes averted. “I don’t either.”

“What will you do now?” Terian asked.

“Try to find a lenient master who will let me pursue Kyle in my spare time,” Colin said. “I got assurances that would be allowed, but we’ll see.” He turned to Terian. “What will you do?”

It was time to stop running. “I’m going back to face what I left back east.”

“You can feel love,” Colin said, regarding Terian will his red eyes. “I feel the same as I did when I was a faerie half breed. I’m wondering now if I ever knew anything about demons, or only thought I did.”

“Can I borrow your fourth volume,” Terian asked. “To take with me?”

“You can have my books, all of them,” Colin answered absently. “I always thought I’d find an answer in magic, but I never did. And I don’t think I’ll have a home of my own in my new life.” He smiled. “And yes, the spell for hellfire is in there, if you look for it.”

“I’m sorry it had to be this way,” Terian made himself utter. “That sounds lame, but I can’t help it, Colin.”

“I understand,” Colin said, a genuine smile gracing his features. “I didn’t either. But what being ever gets what he wants, really? I wanted to save my brother.” He laughed bitterly. “I couldn’t even save myself.”

Balt was saved. He stopped me from killing Kyle. He died without becoming a full demon. Terian held back the words, knowing hearing them would be worse for Colin than not knowing. For if Balt had let Terian kill Kyle, Colin wouldn’t have gotten shot...or become demon in a last dying wish for revenge.

Rain began to fall again, dampening their clothes. “It’s good we had the rain, or the entire adult part of the strip might have gone up,” Colin said jokingly. “What a loss for the bachelors of this town.”

“And the library at the end of the street,” Terian added. “Not to mention the suburbs beyond.”

“I can’t think now why I cared about them,” Colin said disdainfully. “I spent so many nights holding whores’ hands, and listening to married men tell me how they just couldn’t love their wives. What a waste of time—”

The bullet hit Colin in his throat, severing his last words. Another hit Terian in the leg, knocking him sprawling. Kyle came charging out from behind a tree, a swing from his machete decapitating Colin.

Terian staggered to his feet, then paused. Two men held a gun on him, with three more assisting Kyle. They began anointing him with holy water, the liquid scalding the flesh of the headless body as it twitched.

“Stop it!” Terian yelled. “Stop hurting him.”

“We’re trying to save him,” Kyle said tiredly. He holstered his gun, then came over to Terian. “I didn’t have a beef with Colin. He was a good friend.” He looked up at Terian, his brown eyes red rimmed. “I never caught your name.”

“Terian.”

“Good to meet you.” Kyle looked back at his men. They’d erected a small altar and lit candles near it. One opened a bible and began to pray, immediately giving Terian the beginnings of a migraine.

“Walk with me,” Kyle said to Terian.

“Why?” Terian challenged.

“Because seeing this is going to hurt me as much as hearing it hurts you now,” Kyle said sadly. “Come on.”

Terian let out a long breath, then followed. They walked in silence for a while through the trees, then into a clearing with a small stream.

“Can you save him?” Terian asked. “Take back what he became?”

“Probably not,” Kyle said, skipping a stone into the water. “But we have to try.”

“Balt wasn’t a demon when he died,” Terian said. “He stopped me from killing you.”

Kyle turned to look at Terian, then resumed skipping rocks. “I’m glad of that,” he said softly.

“I thought you hated him,” Terian said. “I thought you hated people like me.”

“I hate demons,” Kyle admitted. “I hate how they destroy lives. I never hate half-breeds. They can’t help their dual nature, or that the demon side is usually stronger.” He dropped his rock. “But I can’t afford to have mercy, not when it might mean some innocent person’s life. Do you understand that?”

“Yes,” Terian said slowly. “I understand that.”

“Good,” Kyle said, heading past Terian. “Let’s go back. They should be done.”

The small clearing was empty when they returned, except for the priest standing before the grave. He was just finishing consecrating the ground. He turned as Kyle and Terian strode up. “We sent him to Hell,” he said apologetically. “There was nothing we could do. We scattered the ashes near his brother’s grave.”

Kyle closed his eyes and sighed. “Get everyone ready to go. We’ve got to head out of town.”

The priest nodded, then with a smile at Terian, walked away.

Terian turned to Kyle. “I can feel it, you know,” he murmured. “Colin put something on you. There is something inside you that calls to me. It’s why I followed you to the stream, even when I didn’t want to.”

“I know,” Kyle said darkly. “I’m going to have a lot of offline followers very shortly, I think, none of them with my best interests at heart.”

Terian managed a smile, then stuck out his hand. “Good luck.”

Kyle shook it, his expression incredulous. “You’re wishing me luck? After everything?”

“You don’t compromise or give up,” Terian said. “That’s something I admire, Kyle.” His expression darkened. “But if you come for me like you did for Bart, I’ll try to kill you.”

Kyle smiled. “Fair enough. I hope I never have to, if that counts for anything.”

Terian nodded. “It does.”

Kyle let go of his hand, then moved off through the trees.

Terian stood before the grave for a while, reflecting.

I will not give into my demon side. I’m not going to become a monster.

He would go tonight and pack up Colin’s books, everything. By tonight he’d be heading back East, back to Sundown if she would have him, back to Sar’s friendship if she wouldn’t. It was time to stop running, time for his life to be more than just honorable vows he hoped one day to fulfill, or relationships he yearned to have someday. Balt was right. There was only so much time. Terian was not going to waste one moment more.

Terian’s hand rested briefly on the cold stone, then he turned and purposefully walked away through the trees.