I’m back in Leeds and all I want to do is curl up on the sofa and watch Netflix – preferably with the flat to myself – but it seems like Nick has something similar in mind.
‘Evening,’ Nick says to me as I barge through the door.
‘Yo,’ I reply casually. Too casually? Who even says “yo” any more?
Nick just laughs. He’s clicking through Netflix, as though he’s browsing for something to watch. I stand behind the sofa and look over his shoulder.
‘Oh my God, “because you watched The Spice Movie”,’ I read out loud.
Nick clicks away, embarrassed.
‘It was Heather’s turn to pick the film,’ he explains. ‘She’s a big fan.’
‘She must be – I watched that film when I was nine and I didn’t exactly regard it as a masterpiece then. I thought you guys just watched documentaries and shit.’
‘You’ve got me all wrong,’ he laughs. ‘I’ve got excellent taste in movies.’
‘Sure you do,’ I reply. ‘Just like I’m excellent at removing babies from people.’
Nick laughs.
‘What, like snatching them? “Removing babies” is a new and fascinating way to refer to what I do – like they’re an inflamed appendix.’
‘You know what I mean,’ I reply. ‘Go on then, tell me which classics you’ve been choosing when it’s your turn.’
Abandoning the remote to talk to me, he turns sideways to look me in the eye.
‘Hmm,’ he says thoughtfully. ‘Well the last film we watched was Rope.’
‘You did not,’ I reply.
‘We did – my choice. I love Hitchcock films.’
I walk around the sofa and sit down next to him.
‘I love Hitchcock films,’ I tell him. ‘To the point where…oh my God, this is going to sound really sad.’
‘Go on,’ he prompts, making himself more comfortable.
‘Well, as much as I’d love to, I can’t bring myself to watch all of his movies. It’s going to sound stupid, but I know that as soon as I watch all of his films, that’s it, no more Hitchcock. I don’t want to run out.’
‘I can appreciate that,’ he replies. ‘I haven’t seen them all either. I’d like to, just never got around to it. We could do it together,’ he laughs.
I think for a moment.
‘We could, but this could be a fluke. What was the film you chose before that?’
Nick runs a hand through his hair like he always does when he’s feeling awkward, laughing to himself.
‘I’m not sure how you’ll feel about this one,’ he starts cautiously. ‘It’s not so much a classic, more a personal favourite and I can’t really explain why.’
I pull my legs up on the sofa, shifting my body to face his before crossing my legs.
‘OK, now I’m really listening,’ I say excitedly.
He takes a deep breath before quickly blurting it out, before he can think better of his confession.
‘Step Brothers.’
‘Say what?’ I reply theatrically. ‘That’s even more unbelievable than Rope.’
‘I know, I don’t fit the profile,’ he laughs. ‘I know it’s dumb, I just love it.’
‘You know,’ I start, ‘if we were to turn our beds into bunk beds…’
Nick springs to life.
‘Oh my God, we’d have so much room for activities.’
I feel a rush of something as he quotes my favourite movie to me.
‘I can’t believe we’ve been living together all this time and we’ve never spoken about what movies we like,’ I say.
‘We never talk about anything,’ he reminds me.
‘We don’t,’ I agree. ‘We just argue about stupid things, like whose turn it is to have custody of the sofa and the TV, or whether or not eggs should be kept in the fridge.’
‘Of course they should be kept in the fridge,’ he exclaims in horror. ‘You’re a barbarian.’
I smile at him. It’s a shame it has taken us until now to realise we have things in common. I guess we’ve always just focused on the things that make us different.
Nick’s phone springs to life, interrupting our moment. He answers it, using short blunt sentences before hanging up.
‘That’s Heather,’ he tells me. ‘She needs me to go give her a hand, she can’t open the door with the takeaway in her hands.’
‘You guys are having a takeaway?’ I gasp.
Nick pulls a face.
‘Don’t get excited, it’s from that vegan place.’
‘More of a “please take this away” than a “takeaway”,’ I correct him, making gagging noises as I pretend to stick my fingers down my throat.
Nick laughs to himself as he heads downstairs. God, why do I have to find him so dreamy? And why does he have to be such a good guy? He’s watching crap movies and eating rubbish food just for Heather. Ergh, my conscience is getting to me again. I should probably try and be nicer to Heather, get to know her a little better. That might stop me lusting after her boyfriend a bit, right?
‘Oh, Ruby, hello, someone told me you’d be out,’ Heather says disappointedly the second she claps eyes on me.
‘Yeah, erm, I assumed you would’ve been,’ Nick replies awkwardly. ‘No big deal.’
Time to be mature.
‘I’m in for the evening, but I’ll be out of your way in five minutes. Just let me grab something to eat and I’ll go to my room,’ I assure them.
‘I’d offer you some of this, but we didn’t order much,’ Heather tells me.
‘That smells…’ I soften and refrain from one of my usual jibes. ‘…delicious. But don’t worry, I’ll get myself something.’
The pair of them look confused by my reply. I just smile.
‘Erm, OK,’ Heather replies. ‘Nick, babe, get some plates please?’
‘Sure,’ he replies dutifully.
He really is so devoted to her, it blows me away. Nine times out of ten I can’t even get a text back, and here is a man who will do anything for his girlfriend.
Heather sits down on the sofa. I sit next to her – another move which perplexes her. She’s got a look on her face, like she truly believes I might be about to attack her at close quarters.
‘What are you going to watch?’ I ask her.
‘I’m not sure,’ she replies slowly. ‘You seem very…mellow.’
‘That’s me,’ I smile.
‘It’s just…you’re being nice.’
‘I am nice,’ I insist. ‘Can’t we all just be friends?’
Nick creeps up on us.
‘What, you want to start going on double dates?’ he laughs.
‘OK, sure,’ I reply. ‘Heather, what do you say?’
Heather eyeballs me cautiously, like she’s still trying to figure out what my game is.
‘What, me and Nick, go out with you and…?’
‘I’m dating one of the Leeds Lions,’ I tell her. ‘You’d love him!’
‘No she wouldn’t,’ Nick insists.
‘Actually, I’d love that,’ Heather says with a smile. ‘Make the arrangements and we’ll be there, won’t we, babe?’
‘Sure,’ Nick replies, again in his usual dutiful way, but there’s a reluctance he just can’t hide.
‘Nick, cutlery,’ Heather tuts.
With Nick back in the kitchen, Heather leans closer to me.
‘I’ve always had a thing for rugby players, does he have any friends?’
I stare at her blankly for a second.
‘I’m kidding,’ she laughs. ‘Your face. But, you know, if he does happen to bring any of his friends…’
I frown as I climb to my feet.
‘I’m going to grab some Frosties and go watch TV in my room,’ I tell them. ‘Have fun. I’ll hit you with the details when I have it sorted.’
As I walk to my room, shovelling cereal into my face on the way before the milk gets the chance to make it soggy, I think over my exchange with Heather. That’s a weird joke to make, but it kind of sounded like she was serious.
Cereal devoured, I sit down on my bed and text Millsy an update.
Millsy: She wants some rugby D, mate.
Ruby: That’s what it sounded like to me. Was just trying to be her mate. Don’t know why I suggested a bloody double date, now I’m stuck with it. Help?
I’m not always sure Millsy is the best person to ask advice of, but he is certainly the person I know who gets in the most romantic scrapes, so maybe he’ll have something helpful under his belt. So to speak.
Millsy: Truth or date, Rubes. I keep telling you. Either confess your feelings or play the game. Use the date to show him what a catch you are, and like I keep saying, LADY MACBETH HIM!
I laugh quietly to myself as I read his message. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try and show Nick what a dazzling date I am, and if I can make him jealous with Deano, that’s a result too. It doesn’t necessarily have to be to an end, right? I just want to change his opinion of me for the better. All I need now is a plan of attack. Oh, and to try and convince Deano that a double date is a good idea.