After the long walk up the hill from Millsy’s – not made easier by all the coffee I drank and the biscuits I ate during rehearsals – I am positively knackered. I must be so unfit, to feel so shocking after walking up a hill. Then again, I did rush a little, because it’s freezing out there tonight, and also because I really need to pee. I don’t like to use the bathroom at Chez Mills, mostly because it doesn’t get cleaned ever, but also because with the number of different girls that sit on it, it’ll be like an STD hotbed. Like my friend’s face, probably.
Just when I think I couldn’t be happier to be home, I walk into the living room to see Heather sitting on the sofa.
‘Where’s Nick?’ I ask.
‘He’s in the shower,’ she tells me, as she flicks through a magazine.
‘Fuck,’ I can’t help but exclaim. ‘I really need the lav.’
‘You should’ve gone at break time,’ she tells me. I shoot her a look. ‘Sorry, just a little teacher humour.’
‘Hilarious,’ I reply, sitting down in the armchair. ‘Why are you reading a bridal magazine?’
‘Because it came free with my usual mag, and because it doesn’t hurt to be prepared,’ she informs me.
‘Yes, of course,’ I reply sarcastically. ‘One must always be ready to tie the knot. Just in case.’
Heather raises her eyebrows and gets back to her magazine.
‘Well, Nick and I certainly are serious about one another,’ she tells me, despite me not asking. ‘I’d make a good wife for him. And, of course, his family are loaded, so I wouldn’t say no, would I?’
‘Sorry, what did you just say?’ I ask.
‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m with Nick for his money. I know he doesn’t like to take it from his family. But he is due a large inheritance at some point, given that his parents only have him and his sister to leave everything to. But even on his future doctor’s wage, I imagine we’ll be more than comfortable. And I know he’s got his grandma’s ring ready to give to someone, and that thing is worth a fortune.’
‘Funny,’ I reply. ‘Because it sounds exactly like you’re saying you’re with him for his money.’
‘Now, now, Ruby. Don’t be jealous,’ Heather ticks me off. It’s weird, it’s like since I tried to befriend her, I guess she thinks she can open up to me a little more. ‘It sounds like you’ve found yourself a rich sap in Deano. Don’t try and pretend you’re with him for his personality,’ she laughs. ‘At least he’s hot like Nick, I could certainly go there too.’
I might not be “dating” Deano for his personality, but I’m certainly not seeing him for his money, in fact, that’s never crossed my mind. On every date I’ve been on with him so far, I have insisted on splitting the bill, just because I don’t feel comfortable taking money from men. I know that many of my female friends – even if it’s just because they’re traditional – are more than happy to let men pay for everything, but I’m not happy doing that. Heather, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to feel any shame at all in targeting well-off men.
Finally, things click into place. Whether I end up with Nick or not, there’s no way he should be with this chick. She wants to bleed him dry and I care about him way too much to make that happen. I know exactly what I need to do, and exactly how I can go about doing it.
‘I’m not being jealous,’ I tell her. ‘It’s just that I don’t want to ruin the surprise.’
Heather’s ears prick up. She puts her magazine down.
‘Oh?’ she says.
‘Yeah, well, I mean maybe I should tell you. It sounds like it might help things along.’
Help me to help you show Nick your true colours, more like.
‘Go on,’ she insists. ‘And hurry up about it, he’ll be out of the shower any minute.’
‘OK, sure.’ I lean in and switch to a hushed voice. ‘I overheard him on the phone, saying that he wanted to propose to you. In fact, he mentioned giving you his gran’s ring.’
‘No way,’ Heather squeaks. ‘Do you know how much that thing is worth?!’
‘Way,’ I tell her. ‘Thing is, he’s scared to ask you, in case it freaks you out because it’s so soon in your relationship.’
‘Who cares?’ she says excitedly. ‘Nothing would make me happier.’
Oh, I’ll bet it wouldn’t.
‘Here’s the thing: if he knows that you know, he’ll be upset that the surprise has been spoiled – it won’t be special.’
‘So what do I do?’ she asks, anxiety consuming every last muscle in her face. She’s terrified she’s going to lose him and therefore his money.
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ I tell her. ‘Unless you take the initiative? I mean, it’s a sure-thing, right?’
Heather considers this for a moment and I can practically see the pound signs rolling around in her eyes.
‘OK, can you give us some privacy?’ she asks. ‘This shouldn’t take long.’
‘Of course,’ I say with a smile. ‘Take all the time you need.’
I pull myself up from my chair and head into my bedroom. All I need to do is wait in here for a few minutes, and then I can go back out there and enjoy the fireworks. And I do love a good firework display. Any feelings of guilt I had before evaporated the second Heather showed herself for the gold-digger she really is.
I make the decision to get changed, hopping out of the Victoria’s Secret tracksuit I’ve been wearing all day and slipping on a dress. Because if I’m going to be the first female Nick clocks eyes on after Heather blindsides him with a premature, emasculating, blatantly gold-digging proposal, then I want to look my best. I slip on a dress and run my straighteners over my hair. Twenty minutes go by.
‘Ruby, get in here,’ Heather yells. Uh-oh, has it not gone well? This is so surprising to me.
‘What’s up?’ I ask, poking my head around the door.
‘Come in here,’ Heather repeats herself. ‘And sit down.’
I do as instructed.
‘What’s up, guys?’
‘Let me ask you a question,’ Heather starts. Uh-oh, it’s all going to kick off…
Nick emerges from the kitchen area with a bottle of prosecco in his hand.
‘We just wondered if we could have a bottle of your prosecco, we’re celebrating…because we’re getting married,’ she squeals joyfully, flashing me her ring finger.
My eyes dart from granny’s ring on Heather’s finger to Nick, popping the cork on one of my bottles.
I blink for a moment. This is not what was supposed to happen, what the fuck is he thinking?
‘Congratulations,’ I gush, giving Heather a hug because I really don’t know what else to do. And the Oscar goes to…
Heather snatches the open bottle from Nick and begins pouring it into glasses, leaving Nick and me just standing there, looking at each other. His expression is blank, I can’t quite figure it out. I feel my own smile slip from my face.
‘Congratulations,’ I tell him, grabbing him for a hug, stretching up onto my tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek.
‘Thanks,’ he says awkwardly.
Heather thrusts a glass into my hand, before examining the ring on her own.
‘It’s a bit big, babe. We’ll have to get it resized,’ she tells Nick.
‘Yeah, sure,’ he replies.
I knock back my drink in one big gulp and head back towards my room.
‘I’ll replace this bottle for you,’ Nick calls after me.
‘Don’t be daft,’ I reply, using all my strength and acting abilities to make sure that I don’t let slip how upset I really am. ‘Consider it an engagement gift.’
‘Well, we’d better ring and tell our parents,’ Heather insists. ‘And Ruby, looks like one of you is going to have to move out of here after all.’
‘Yeah, I guess so,’ I reply. Because there’s no way I can stick around to watch them play happy families.