CHAPTER 4
Flaky Family
The Putrid Painter
Gomer’s grandpa is a famous painter, but he only uses disgusting colors! Can you figure out his favorites? The label on each tube of paint is missing letters that can be found in the word R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N-G.
GROSS, BUT TRUE!
Hundreds of years ago, painters used to mix colored pigments with eggs to make a smooth and long-lasting paint called “egg tempera.” Sometimes they would also add earwax to the mix to help get rid of tiny bubbles!
What is long and pointy and runs in a family?
Color in all the shapes that have the letters P-O-I-N-T-Y inside.
Baby Brother B.O.
One of Luis’s little brothers has a load in his diaper. Using the logic clues below, can you sniff out which one it is?
He has curly hair
He is wearing a shirt and a diaper
He is sitting between Lance and Larry
He is not sucking his thumb
How can you tell if your brother is upside down?
Solve as many clues below as you can and put the letters in their proper place in the grid. Work back and forth between the grid and the clues until you can read the answer to this gross riddle.
Juicy Jobs?
Some jobs just have to be done, but that doesn’t mean you would want to do them! Look at the picture clues to help you unscramble each job title. Could they pay you enough to do these things?
GROSS, BUT TRUE!
The poop, pee, and everything else from 20 million people all flows into the ancient sewer system of Mexico City, Mexico. The liquid that sloshes through the more than 800 miles of pipes is so murky and full of “stuff,” even a spotlight can’t cut through it. That’s why the special divers sent to unplug pipes and repair leaks have to feel their way around!
Uncle Leon’s Lovely Leg
NOT! Uncle Leon’s leg is anything but lovely. Start at his knee and see if you can find a path all the way down through his big bunion. Watch out for the varicose veins, rashes, scabs, hair, and athlete’s foot along the way—eeeew!
Just Joking!
Use the names from the list, right, to answer the following questions.
Careful: There are extra names!
What would be a good name for a relative with no arms and no legs who . . .
Scritch Scratch
Uncle Steve is always scratching! The names of 12 of his itchiest places are hidden in the grid below. To find them, put a different letter of the alphabet into each of the empty boxes. You might be adding the letter at the beginning, middle, or end of a word. Each letter on the list will be used only once. Circle each word as you find it.
Bob’s Bad Body Noises
One day Brenda counted her brother Bob making eight different disgusting noises! Can you find how many times Bob made each one? Use a light-colored marker to run a single line of color through each word you find. Make a mark in the box next to a word each time you find it.
EXTRA FUN: Use a dark marker to color all the letters X. What do you see when you’re done?
Very Funny, Grandpa!
Greg’s Gramps lives in a cabin without indoor plumbing. When Greg visits, he has to use the outhouse! Help him find it by making compound words through the grid. You can move left, right, up, down, but not diagonally.
After visiting the outhouse, see if you can decipher this Grandpa joke.
Hint: A mirror will help!
GROSS, BUT TRUE!
Before indoor bathrooms were available, people were frequently bitten by spiders that lived in their outhouses. That’s enough to make your skin crawl!
Family Photos
Can you find the 10 differences between these two photos? Which one would you send to Grandma?
What do you call your cousin who never uses a tissue to wipe his nose?
To get the answer to this joke, figure out which letters are described by each fraction. Print the letters, in order, in the boxes from left to right.
Relatively Gross
The next time you get together with your family, and especially a bunch of cousins your age, why not have a contest to see who can make the best gross noise? Or let everyone make a different noise, but all at the same time! Here are a few suggestions:
The Classic Armpit Fart
Put the open palm of your right hand under your left armpit. Cup the hand slightly. Now flap your left arm up and down, and squeeze the air, and fart noises, out from under your palm. This works best if your palm is moist. You can wait till you’re sweaty, wet your hand in the sink, or lick your palm! You can also make fart noises by cupping your two damp hands across each other and squeezing the palms together.
Sick Elephant
You’ll Need: toilet paper tube, rubber band, tape, paper punch, scissors, waxed paper
Take the tube and punch a hole in the side, about an inch from one end. Cut a circle of waxed paper bigger than the end of the tube. Use the rubber band to hold the waxed paper over the same end of tube where you punched the hole, making sure not to cover the hole. To make sick elephant sounds, put your mouth over the open end of the tube and hum, moan, sing, or talk funny.
Shriekers
Blow up a balloon and hold it closed, but not tied. Let the air out very slowly, stretching the neck of the balloon to change the sound.
Barking Belcher
You’ll Need: waxed paper cup, wooden toothpick, yarn, scissors, sharp pencil
Cut a piece of yarn about 6 inches long. Soak the yarn in water until it is really wet. Tie one end around the toothpick. Use a pencil to poke a hole in the middle of the bottom of the paper cup. Push the end of the wet yarn through the hole so the yarn is hanging out of the cup and the toothpick is lying flat inside. You might have to break a bit off the toothpick to make it fit. Wet your thumb and forefinger and pinch the yarn just below the cup. Pull down hard.
HINT: If you don’t get a sound, wet your fingers more. Also, a longer piece of yarn will give you a deeper belch!
What did the monster mama say to her son?
Add straight and diagonal lines to find the answer.
EXTRA FUN: Can you tell which shadow exactly matches the picture, above?
