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Matt wandered into the kitchen in just his boxers, to find Sandra almost ready for the office. In sharp contrast to her recent haggard appearance from the late nights of worry and fear, she now looked smart and attractive; all business. Her features were icy, resolved. She had finally decided to release any lingering concern for Matt and wanted him to see this. She ignored him, sipping her coffee with her back to him and then rummaging around in her handbag without looking up. Matt watched her, waiting for an opportunity to speak, feeling her gradually slide further away from him. The tension in the air slowly thickened.
Finally Sandra turned to face Matt and made straight for the door. Matt instinctively blocked the doorway, forcing her to at least acknowledge him.
“It’s Sunday,” he said. “How come you’re going in?”
Sandra glanced over his shoulder at her escape route through the hallway and fiddled anxiously with her earring.
“I get it,” said Matt. “You’re really, really mad at me. I get it.”
Sandra made eye contact, but just stared at him coldly before finally speaking.
“Yesterday was mad,” she said. “And the days before that.”
“So today?” said Matt.
Sandra just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “I’ve decided to let it go. I don’t need this.”
“I swear to you, love,” said Matt. “I can’t remember anything.”
“It doesn’t matter, Matt. Just do us both a favour. Take your next little walkabout today. I want you out of here when I get back. Whoever she is, she’s welcome to you.”
Sandra maintained a perfect dead stare as Matt searched her eyes for a glimmer of hope or connection; but there was none. Her icy gaze just bored the message right through him, until he finally relented and stood aside. She walked away without so much as a pause. His dark eyes followed her out of their home and out of his life.
“I love you...” he said, as she slammed the front door, cutting him dead.
* * *
Matt sat on the sofa smoking cigarette after cigarette, lost somewhere in his empty thoughts. After a while something occurred to him and he jumped up and began rifling through the contents of his bookcase. He took a road atlas from one of the shelves and looked up Shropshire and Herefordshire. He unfolded the pull-out map within and spread it out across the coffee table and began to study it. He lit another cigarette and carefully traced his fingers across the map, trying to establish some route, but the process seemed to leave him even more confused. He finished the cigarette and stared into space again.
All the time wondering where the hell he’d been.
Matt reached for the house phone, but then thought better of it and picked up his mobile instead. He recalled “Ann” from his contacts list and rang.
“It’s me,” he said. “No, I need to see you...today.”
* * *
Matt wandered out of the Hertz office and climbed into a rental on the forecourt. Rain began to fleck against the windows of the Mazda, as he started her up and pulled away. On the way to his lover’s house, Matt found himself staring blankly through the rain-splattered windscreen, past the hypnotic nodding of the wiper blades and along the open road ahead. It was if he was travelling some preordained route; more a passenger than a driver.
Matt slowed the Mazda as it approached the sleepy village of Pontrilas. He crawled slowly past Ann’s corner cottage, checking around for signs of her boyfriend’s car. He craned and looked both ways past his lover’s cottage, but it seemed that the coast was clear. Matt pulled over and left the Mazda in the next road down, just in case. On his way up to Ann’s cottage, Matt noticed the stern face of an elderly woman peering at him through next door’s window. She frowned at him and tracked his progress up to Ann’s door.
Ann opened the front door before Matt could knock. The slightly older, attractive brunette let him in quickly without a word.
* * *
In the bedroom, Ann writhed beneath Matt as he pumped away furiously. Both of them climaxed quickly and together, though Matt’s finish was so intense it left his head spinning and his eyes fluttering uncontrollably. Matt rolled off and gasped, still twitching. He grabbed a handful of the bed sheet and used it to wipe away a sheen of sweat from his face and chest.
Ann eyed his elated condition with faint surprise and amusement.
“I’m flattered,” she said. “Or aren’t you getting any at home these days?”
Matt sighed, still coming down from his high. He felt like a kid spinning from the delirious thrill of his first ejaculation. He rolled over and tried to kiss Ann on the lips, just as he’d done a hundred times before after their lovemaking, but this time she resisted.
Ann rose quickly and threw on her robe.
“Two sugars, right?
“Yeah,” said Matt. “I take it you’re trying to get rid of me.”
Ann lingered in the doorway and nodded feebly at him.
“I was hoping we could talk,” said Matt.
“Sure,” said Ann. “We need to have a chat...”
Ann turned and abruptly disappeared into the hall. Matt sighed again, he already knew what was coming next. He rubbed at his tired eyes. Nothing felt right since the last blackout. It was as if his body was somehow rebelling against him, as if it was no longer his. His right hand suddenly spasmed and began trembling, as if it had heard his thoughts and decided to confirm them. Matt made a fist and purposely held it with some effort until the contractions died away. He continued to stare at his errant hand for a while after, trying to cast dark, half formed thoughts from his mind.