“I changed my mind. Take us back to the farm,” Cash ordered. “It’s closer, and I have horses there.”
“I’m going with you.” Laura wrapped her hand firmly in Cash’s as the driver clicked his horses into motion.
Around them, the bushes rustled with men emerging on foot and horseback to examine the damage to the house burning on the hill. It was beyond saving, and no one seemed in any hurry to determine the fate of the occupant. But a singular number of horses formed a protective circle around the wagon. One of the bigger horses rode close, and Laura made out the outline of Steve Breckinridge’s broad shoulders against the dying glow on the horizon.
“Let me take her home with me. She’ll need the women around her.”
Laura squeezed Cash’s hand as she once again defied Steve’s authority. “Mark is still on the train. I have to go after him.”
Both men answered at once, Cash’s furious “The hell you will!” mixing with Steve’s “Don’t be foolish!” Steve backed out gracefully, nodding to the man who not only had more reason for concern but also seemed to have a better technique for handling her.
“We’ll find him, Laura,” Cash promised. “You’ve had enough for one day. I’m taking you home.”
Home. The only real home she had ever known was now an empty shell, but Laura relaxed at his promise. Steve interrupted before she could say anything at all.
“I’ll ride into town and wake the telegraph operator. We’ll have a wire at the station before the train arrives. I’ll also have a wire sent to Uncle Taunton at the same time. He’ll find the boy.”
“I put Cousin Bessie’s address in his coat. If there’s some mix-up, they might take him there. You’d better warn her too.”
The familiar cadence of family names and homely conversation created a circle of security that Cash could only marvel at. Sitting tensely on the hard bench of the wagon, his arm protecting Laura’s back from the wagon’s jostling, he felt uncomfortably uncertain of his position. He had the woman he loved in his arms, but the world she belonged to was pulling at her, trying to fence her in, and he figured he was being excluded.
“Cash?”
Steve’s questioning tone caught him by surprise, but he understood what was being asked. It was hard, this asking something of others, accepting favors from people who had once turned their backs to him. On his own, Cash would never have agreed. But feeling Laura’s weight sagging against him, he swallowed his pride and nodded agreement.
“I’d appreciate it, Breckinridge. I’ve got to see that Laura’s safe first, then I’ll ride into Lexington to bring Mark back. Just make certain someone wires back that they’ve found him and let us know.”
“It’s your decision,” Steve replied gruffly, “but Laura knows her relations well. Her Aunt Bessie will spoil the kid and will jump at the chance to ride the train back here, if someone pays her way. But she’ll have heart failure if she discovers Laura isn’t staying with us. You might do better to send her on until this is straightened out.”
Steve discreetly omitted the reason he would defer the decision-making on Mark to Cash, but always alert to the slurs against him, Cash stiffened at the reference to Laura’s relatives. Before he could say something cutting, Laura quietly intruded.
“I’m not a piece of luggage, Steve, I can speak for myself. And if Aunt Bessie has any problem with my behavior, you can send her to me. It’s not your concern.”
Cash chuckled as the mighty Steven Breckinridge seemed at a loss for words in reply to this defiance. Finally he bowed his head in acceptance.
“All right, Laura, if that’s the way you want it. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
She murmured a weary “I do” and rested her head against Cash’s shoulder, letting him handle the rest of the situation.
“I won’t see her hurt,” Cash answered the other man’s silence. “I’ll do whatever is necessary to protect her.”
Steve gave an ungentlemanly snort of agreement. “You’ve made that point very clear. I’ll not stand in your way, that’s for certain. All right, I’m riding into town. I’ll get you word as soon as I have it.”
There wasn’t time to do more than settle Laura more comfortably against Cash’s shoulder before another rider approached, this time on a long-eared mule. The man’s face was unclear in the darkness, but Cash thought he recognized one of the county’s smaller farmers.
“Me and some of the others been talkin’, Mr. Cash. When you’re ready to rebuild, we’ll be there to help you. Can’t rightly do more than that, things bein’ as they are, but we owe you. What those . . .” He cut the expletive off with a glance to Laura, then continued, “What they did to my Edna Mae shouldn’t have been done to a livin’ soul.”
Anger tinted every word, although the speaker strove to control it. “She’s gone now. She never did get well after that. Those bastards deserve to roast in hell just for that alone. What I mean to say is, we all got reason to be grateful for what you did. You just get the word out, we’ll be there.”
He rode off, but the message was the same from every man who walked or rode by the wagon. Cash remained largely silent at the unexpected accolades, but Laura could feel the tension building inside him. Unused to kind words, he was undoubtedly waiting for the next cannonball to explode. He would have to find out for himself that people weren’t all what they seemed.
The wagon twined through the darkness of country lanes, turning up the rocky road to Stone Creek despite Cash’s protest that they could walk the drive. When the driver stopped before the now-empty house, he merely tipped his slouch hat at Cash’s offer of gratitude.
“My boy fought for the Union and came home with only one leg. Those varmints shot it out from under him. There ain’t a soul in the county won’t be glad to see the end of this feudin’. You done us all a favor tonight. We won’t be forgettin’ it. Take care of Miz Laura, now, and we’ll see that the boy gets back home.”
The wagon pulled away, leaving the two of them standing before the darkened house.
Without a word, Cash lifted Laura into his arms and carried her over the threshold, into the house where she had always lived and which would now be theirs together. There was too much to be said to say it now. Laura wrapped her arms around Cash’s neck and held him close as they ascended the steps. She knew where he was taking her and why, and she offered no protest. The time for proprieties was gone.
***
When Laura woke, the sun was streaming in a newly cleaned window, and she luxuriated in the golden rays warming her nakedness. A hint of autumn cooled her skin, but rather than reach for covers, she gravitated toward the source of heat next to her.
Cash reached for her and hugged her close, and Laura turned in his embrace, her breasts brushing against his muscled chest as she met his dark gaze. A day’s growth of beard roughened his jaw, his hair made a disheveled mat across his forehead, but the look of wonder in his eyes was as gentle and loving as she could request. She pressed a kiss to his bristly cheek. “I love you,” she whispered.
Cash studied on that a moment, his gaze drifting over the rosy hues of Laura’s throat and shoulders and down to the gentle curve of her breasts where she snuggled against him. He had been aroused the moment she had touched him, and his hunger didn’t diminish with his inspection. He could remember her response last night to his smallest caresses, and he knew he had found the treasure right under his nose that he had spent a lifetime searching for.
He brushed his lips across her silken hair and pressed her closer, unwilling to let her go. “Laura, you don’t have to say that just because of what we’ve done together. I know what I am and what you are. There’s really no common ground for us. I’ve not brought you any happiness, just destruction. You’d do better to let me go.”
Laura tweaked a curl in the light mat of hair upon his chest. “Are you questioning my judgment?”
Cash caught her hand and held it still. “I’m questioning your sanity. I love you. I want to keep you. But there are walls of obstacles in the way. You need time to consider them before you make any final decisions.”
Laura pressed a kiss to the flesh beneath his arm, then nibbled between words. “I’m. . . not. . . leaving.”
Cash groaned and caught her hair, dragging her head back so she could meet his eyes. “I’m not looking for a mistress. I want a wife, a mother for my children. Any woman who marries me will be tainted by what I am, what I was. It will never change.”
“What are you trying to say?” Laura ignored her fear, opting for the courage to fight for what she wanted.
Cash read her fear and steeled himself for the inevitable. It had to be said, though. What he would do when she turned him down, he could not imagine, but there was literally no other choice. “Will you marry me?”
The fear disappeared, and Laura snuggled back down to his shoulder. “Of course.” Her hand began an exploration of his bronzed chest, locating old scars and smoothing them with her touch.
“Of course?” Stunned, Cash stared at the ceiling. “Of course? I’ve just asked you to condemn yourself to a lifetime as an outcast of society, and you just say ‘of course’? Don’t you even want to think about it awhile? Shouldn’t we argue over where we’re going to live, how we’re going to live? Shouldn’t there be some expression of concern over whether or not I still have the funds to support you? Laura, you can’t just say ‘of course’ to a question like that. Maybe I better go ask your Aunt Bessie for your hand. You obviously need a keeper.”
Laura slid her fingers to his side and tickled him under his arm until Cash squirmed and turned over to face her. His gaze was wary as he met her gentle smile. Unshaken by his suspicion, Laura merely took this opportunity to admire his manly shoulders, running her fingers over them as she spoke.
“I’m not Sallie, Cash. I should certainly think you would know that by now; I’ve told you often enough. I’ve loved you since I was a little girl. Why should I throw away now what I’ve spent a lifetime wanting? I’m sorry, Cash, you’re trapped. I’ll have all my relatives hold you at gunpoint until you say the words in front of a preacher. You’re going to make an honest woman of me whether you like it or not.”
A chuckle built and rumbled upward as Cash caught her wandering hand and brought it to his lips. He pressed a kiss to the palm, then nibbled on each finger. When she closed the gap between them, he carried her hand downward, pulling her hips to meet his.
“I like it. I like it a lot. Honest women should be revered. If marriage is what it takes to make you honest, I’ll be happy to oblige. Come here, pequeña, I want to give you a taste of what lies in store for an honest woman such as you.”
Cash’s nonsense filled Laura with joy, but the love in his touch raised her to new plateaus of ecstasy. Running her fingers through his hair, splaying her hands across his back, she took the love with which he showered her, and gave it back threefold, opening her body to accept his, taking him into her heart, and offering all she possessed into his care.
Cash took what she offered with gentleness at first, then with fierce desire. Love outpaced passion, and they were well and truly one before their bodies sealed the vows their hearts had already taken. The aftermath of pleasure was just one reward for their loving.
Tears streamed down Laura’s cheeks as Cash lifted his greater weight from her. She arched upward to hold him a little longer, and he pressed a kiss against her cheek, discovering the moisture there.
Touching a finger to the tears, he stroked her face wonderingly. “Tears, Laura?” He couldn’t believe they were tears of regret, not after what they had just shared. But he was as yet uncertain to the sources of feminine emotion.
She shook her head defiantly. “I never cry.”
Cash smiled at that. “I know. I can remember you sitting on that ridiculous little pony, your little lip quivering as you told me that your daddy got blown up on a boat. You didn’t cry then. Or when your big dog died. Or when we laid Sallie to rest. Even last night, you didn’t shed a tear. You’re a hard woman, Laura Kincaid.”
She burst into tears at that, and buried her face in Cash’s comforting shoulder as he turned over, taking her with him. All the years of holding back broke through the dam of loneliness, flooding the present, clearing a path for the future. Cash held her tight and wished he had been a wiser man. So much could have been prevented if he had been.
But there was time yet to make up for it. Stroking her hair, he asked, “Where would you like to live, Laura? The wagons are loaded and ready to go anywhere you want.”
Sobs lessening, she accepted the handkerchief he rummaged from the table. “Live? I thought you would be returning to California.”
“That’s still a long and dangerous trip, love. We could take the river halfway there, but the railroads don’t go to California yet. We’d have to find a wagon train. Or go by ship around the Cape. I’m not about to put you through that. By the time we got to the desert, you could be with child, and the journey is just too dangerous. I’ll sell the ranch, and we can settle anywhere else you like.”
Laura had scarcely given it any thought. She had always assumed he would return to California, away from the slurs and insults he bore here. She studied the matter awhile. “I don’t know anything about the North except that it must be cold a lot, and different from here. I don’t know if I would like it. I suppose we could go south. They say so many were ruined that land is practically free for the taking, but I’d feel like a vulture preying on other people’s grief. I just always thought you would go west. I don’t know enough of what is out there to make that kind of decision.”
Cash lay propped against the pillows, holding the woman he meant to marry against his chest. Their future rested on this decision, and he wanted it to be the right one. “I can’t see you living in a sod hut on the plains. That’s not what I want for you.”
“It has to be somewhere where we can take Jettie and the children. I promised them a home. I’ll not let Ward’s child be raised in ignorance. Is there somewhere like that?”
“Not in this world,” Cash admitted sadly, gathering her hair into his hand. “Not in the world we know now, leastways. We’d have to make a new one.”
A new one. A new world where people were accepted for what they did and not who they were. A world where Cash could be seen as the man he was, and not the boy he had been. The thought appealed to Laura, and she played with it, letting the feeling spread deep down inside of her.
“We can build one,” she offered recklessly, “The old one is gone. The war took everything, don’t you see? It’s gone. Watterson’s place is gone. The slaves are gone. Society as we know it is gone. There aren’t enough men left to quibble over which ones are blue-blooded gentlemen. There’s no one left to work the farms. Clothes are being made by machines, not by hand. It’s all changing, Cash. Can’t we change with it?”
Cash ran his hand up her nape, gripped his fingers in a hank of hair, and lifted her up so he could see her face. Excitement danced in her eyes, and he regarded it with innate suspicion. “I’m not sure I’m hearing what you’re saying. Do you want me to sell the farm and buy a machine? I meant for Mark to have this land. He has roots here, no matter where we go. I don’t want to sell it.”
Laura propped her hands on his shoulders and gave him a smile. “I don’t want to sell it either. We both have roots here, Cash. This is our home. We know the problems we face. Why run from the problems we know to ones we don’t know? If we stay here, maybe we can change the world just a little bit. You heard those men last night. They’re willing to help us rebuild. You’ve got friends here, Cash, you really do. It can work. We can make it work.”
Her excitement was contagious, but Cash felt the need to play devil’s advocate just a little while longer. This was her future she was gambling away. He had to make certain she understood all the ramifications. “Sallie hasn’t been buried a month, Laura. There will be hell to pay if we marry now, and I don’t intend to wait a year for propriety’s sake. If we go somewhere else, no one will know that Mark was born out of wedlock. I’ll adopt him, make it legal, but the scandal will never be there as it will here. I can pass for anything I want anywhere in this country but here. You’re asking to be cut off from all proper society, Laura. I can’t do that to you.”
Laura made an unladylike face. “What’s one more scandal or two? I should think everyone would breathe a sigh of relief once Mark has a proper daddy and they don’t have to worry about which man I’m seeing now. They can find some new amusement for a change. At least we’ll know who our friends are. And anywhere we run, there’s always the chance that rumor will follow. I’d rather have it right out in the open. The days of hiding family secrets in the attic are over too. Cash. The newspapers are making certain of that. Can we try it? Will it cost too much?”
Cash’s gaze softened as he found the hope in Laura’s face, and he here her to his chest. “I’d like to add a new wing on where the tree fell in. It could have a sun porch just for you and chambers for us, and a nursery, and a new sewing room. It will be grander and more modern than anything Stone Creek has ever seen, and it won’t take a bevy of slaves to keep up. People will be so eager to see the insides, they’ll ignore the scandal just to get invited. And horses don’t require a lot of manpower. I know horses, and the demand for them is strong right now. We can build a stable that they’ll come wide and far to find. Then we can start exploring your notions abut machinery. I’ve heard about some that can make a difference at harvest time. They’re a gamble, at best, but I’m willing to take a few risks.”
“A master of understatement, you are, Cassius Wickliffe,” Laura chuckled against his chest.
“And you, my wife-to-be, are too clever for your own good. You’re going to hear about it if you start that school for ex-slaves. And I don’t think I even want to know what you have planned for that sewing machine. Maybe I should arrange it so you have no time for anything but sewing baby clothes.”
“Baby clothes are easy.” Laura dismissed this threat with a scoff. “But there’s always a need for new fashions. If I can teach Jettie Mae . . .”
Cash’s kiss stopped her words from going any farther. “Later, Miss Machiavelli. Right now I’m going to make love to you. Then we’re going to meet the train and pick up Mark. And then we’re going to find a preacher. Practice agreeing with me. Say ‘I will.’”
Laughing, Laura tangled her arms around him as he flipped her over. “I will.” And then she pulled his head down for a kiss that straightened him out all the way to his toes.
Cash came up grinning. “You’re damned right, you will. Want to try that again?”
And she did.