It's hard to look in the mirror these days when everyone else is everything you'd rather be. Unknown
“I’m going to put Momma in a nursing home.”
“May I ask when you came to this decision?” Envy asked her sister while she paced in her second story office overlooking the Mighty Mississippi. Envy detected the anger in her sister’s voice through the phone, but then again, Nikkei always had an attitude.
“When me and T’juan had to scour the neighborhood for almost four hours looking for her. She left out of the back door while I was upstairs cleaning. She’s never tried to unlock the dead bolt on any of the doors before. But she did today. That means she’s getting worse, and I will not have her wandering around in this city for God knows who to attack her or for her to get herself hurt out there. ”
“Is she all right?” Envy’s eyebrows drew together.
“Yes. We found her near the main intersection. She said she was going to meet Charles. I tell you, Envy, I can’t do this anymore. Daddy’s been out of her life since we were kids. Why she’s all of a sudden talking and asking about him is beyond me. And for God’s sake, to add flame to the fire, he has his own life with somebody else. I don’t understand. But the stress is unbearable, and though T’juan is a good husband, I know it’s putting a strain on our marriage.”
“Maybe you’re making the right decision by putting her in a home. I really hate to say that I agree with you, but...hold on a minute, Nikkei. I have another call coming in. Don’t hang up,” Envy urged. When she returned to the phone, Nikkei immediately blasted into Envy.
“Look, if you think that for some reason I was calling to get your approval, you’re wrong. I was just letting you know my decision. I’ve taken care of Momma all this time without your help. Unless you want to call your sporadic penny donations help.”
Envy was fuming. “Look, I’m sick of you and your cynicism, Nikkei. If it wasn’t for my money,” Envy added emphasis, then you wouldn’t be able to provide for Momma in the manner you have. You always have to call me with a bunch of attitude. You and Momma have always been just alike. Jealous, and yes, envious of me. How crazy is that? The woman who named me Envy grew to be angry and envious of me; her own flesh and blood.”
“Envious? Of you? Girl, you must be sitting on stupid or something. You have nothing I want. As for Momma, she always did the best she could for you and for me. But you worshipped the ground our no good daddy walked on. You think your money can make up for you not spending time with Momma? You think it can make up for all the times I’ve had to deal with her asking about you and your whereabouts when you were nowhere to be found?” Nikkei’s voice rose higher and higher over the phone.
“First, let’s get something straight. It’s my daddy for sure,” taunted Envy. “As for you, it’s momma’s baby, daddy’s maybe,” she scoffed. “You know what? I don’t have time for your tantrums, Nikkei. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. The good thing about putting Momma in a nursing home will be that I won’t have to come to see her at your so-called perfect little castle. Let me know where she’s going to be and how much it’s going to cost. I’m sure you won’t turn down my checks. You never have. Now, I have a meeting to attend. Goodbye.” Envy pushed the button on the multi-line phone. She inhaled and exhaled, then smoothed out the wrinkles of her cadmium orange linen skirt before she strolled out of her office to the manager’s meeting.
×
Terrified and uncertain about what had just transpired, the young girl threw up her blood soaked hands against her face and screamed. Easing up from the toilet in horror, she looked down at the strange object in the toilet. Surely, this couldn’t have come out of me. No, God. Not here, not now. Looking at the ceramic walls of the stall, a sense of claustrophobia set in, and fear consumed her very being. She tried with all of her might to gather her senses. She paused and waited seconds to see if there was anyone else in the bathroom with her. She was alone. Hurriedly, she ran out of the stall, locked the main door to the bathroom, and returned to the sink to clean up the bathroom stall, her clothes and her body. Nausea filled the pit of her belly, and saliva formed in her mouth. Clenching her belly, she looked around to make sure she had removed all signs of the bloody mess. Unable to look at the thing in the toilet, she rushed outside, down the side stairways, so no one could see her.
For the remainder of the night, she hid in her bedroom. Tears like rain pellets streamed down her face and soaked her pillow. Sleep escaped her, As she was tormented by horrid thoughts of what she had done.
How could she leave her own child in a toilet to die? How could she be so evil and cruel? She had planned on telling her mother about her being pregnant. She had it all worked out. She would give the baby up for adoption because she had waited too late for an abortion. Week after week, she had hoped and prayed that Stanton would change his mind and tell her that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and the child they had made in love. But it wasn’t the case.
Stanton was far older than she was, and he didn’t want anything to interfere with his college studies. When she told him she was pregnant, he blew up. She’d never seen him act like he had done. He cursed her and accused her of trying to trap him. But it wasn’t true. She was fifteen and in love with him. She would never do anything to hurt him. But her words fell on deaf ears because Stanton told her he wanted nothing else to do with her. He warned her not to tell anyone that she was carrying his baby. How could such a smart, intelligent, kind hearted man who loved dogs and cats and x-box games, and who smiled at little babies whenever he saw them on the street; who was obsessed by his major in nuclear physics, who confessed his undying love for her, end up being someone she never knew at all? The way things turned out, he didn’t have to worry about anybody finding out he had gotten her pregnant. Her baby, their baby was dead, and left in a toilet all alone.
A mere teenager herself, she lay on her bed, frightened that at any minute, police would come storming inside her room, lead her out in handcuffs with her face plastered on every TV screen in America, revealing how terrible a person she was to leave her newborn child alone, in a school toilet to die. God would never forgive her. No one ever would. She would never forgive herself. Anything and everything that happened to her when people found out what she’d done would be deserved. She was a cruel, mean, wicked, wicked girl who had allowed her baby to die. She placed her pillow over her head, her hands over her ears, and she screamed.
Envy bolted upright in her bed drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. The nightmare had haunted her sleep again. What could it be? What did the dream mean? This was the first time in almost two years that she’d been plagued by night terrors. She sat up on the sofa where she’d taken a nap. Fischer was lying on the navy patched rug in front of the flat screen. She sat still, alone, and confused. The phone rang, and she made herself get up and walk over to the end table to pick it up.
“Hello. Oh, no; please no,” Envy screamed in the phone. “When did this happen? Is she going to be all right? Okay, I’m on my way.” Envy hung up the phone and dashed into her bedroom. Inside her closet, she hastily pulled a pair of jeans and a light sweater from the hangers and hurriedly put them on. She stepped into a pair of loafers, rushed to the front of the house and grabbed her purse and keys. Fischer sat close by with a look of bewilderment on his face. Envy said nothing. She rushed out of the house and headed in the direction of the Regional Medical Center. On her way to the hospital, she managed to hit the key that connected her to Kacie’s phone.
“Hello,” answered Kacie.
“Kacie, did you hear about Layla?” she frantically asked.
“What about Layla? What happened?”
“She’s been shot. Oh my God. Kacie, Layla’s been shot. I’m on my way to the Regional Med Trauma Center. She’s in critical condition. Her mother called. She said they arrested Mike.”
“But when? I thought she went to church with her parents today?”
“I don’t know the details. But I do know she never made it to church. Anyway, I know it was some time before church because her momma said they went to pick her up and that’s when they found her, sprawled in the front room just inside the door.”
“I’ll meet you there as soon as I can. Bye,” Kacie said and hung up the phone.
Tears flowed from Envy’s eyes. “God, please let her be okay. Please let her make it, dear Lord,” Envy cried. “Please, please, please.” She drove close to 90 miles per hour on the expressway until she got off on the Union West exit leading to the Med. She parked and ran all the way to the hospital’s trauma unit.
When she arrived, Envy saw Mr. and Mrs. Hobbs and Layla’s sister, Becky with her husband. Mrs. Hobbs stood and walked toward Envy with fresh tears pouring from her eyes. Envy nodded to everyone else, then asked, “How is she now?”
“She’s in surgery. She has damage to her internal organs and some internal bleeding. She’s in bad shape, I’m afraid,” Layla’s mother said through tears.
“Oh, no,” Envy cried. Mr. Hobbs and Layla’s sister walked over to comfort her. Mr. Hobbs led her to a seat in the trauma area while they remained standing like they were afraid if they sat down they would miss something.
“Honey, we have to stay in prayer. God is in control,” he told Envy.
Envy raised her head up and was met with a tissue from Becky. “Becky, when did you get in town? Layla didn’t say you were here when I talked to her last night.”
“She didn’t know that I had already planned on coming down and staying a few days while my husband went on a mountain climbing adventure with some of his friends. But after this, he cancelled his trip and drove me down here.” Becky cried and her husband, Alonzo, embraced her. “I had asked Momma and Daddy not to say anything because I wanted to surprise Layla.” Becky’s husband held her even closer and caressed her short, natural, black hair.
Layla’s father spoke. “Lee is on his way. He didn’t know whether he was going to drive from Chicago or fly.”
Becky nodded. “Yeah, but daddy convinced him to take a plane. He wasn’t in any condition to drive.”
“He should be here sometime later tonight,” Mrs. Hobbs added while she twisted her hands nervously.
“And you’re sure Mike did this?” Envy turned her head toward Mr. Hobbs.
“Yes. We’re sure,” Layla’s father answered angrily. “I wish I could get my hands on him. I swear, I would choke the life out of him.” Mrs. Hobbs rubbed her husband’s shoulders as he continued to speak. “Why would he do our baby girl like this? Why? I never trusted him the couple of times I saw him.” He wiped heavy tears from his eyes while Mrs. Hobbs cried along with him and held on to his arm. “The first time we saw him,” Mr. Hobbs added, “we knew he was no good for our Layla. His spirit didn’t set well with us, did it, honey?” He looked down into the tear streaked face of his wife.
Mrs. Hobbs shook her head. She was too distraught to answer.
“I’m so sorry,” Envy told the family.
“Come on, Daddy and Momma; sit down,” Becky told them. They didn’t hesitate to follow her orders. Mr. Hobbs embraced his wife and tears flowed from her eyes onto his starched white shirt. They all were still dressed in their Sunday best.
Envy started talking about the last time she and Layla had been together. “When I picked up Layla yesterday afternoon, we saw Mike running and chasing after my car. He kept calling her name and begged me to stop the car, but Layla told me to keep going. She was tired of him, she said. She leaned out the window and screamed for him to leave her alone and get out of her life. She made me speed up until he couldn’t keep up with the car. But who would have thought he would have flipped out like this? I, I just can’t believe it.”
“Neither can we,” said Mr. Hobbs and stood again when several of his and his wife’s church members from Middle Baptist came into the waiting room, followed by one of the associate ministers and two deacons from Cummings Street.
When Kacie appeared, Layla’s family embraced her too.
Envy glanced around. “Where are the kids?”
Kacie responded by rolling her eyes and waving her off. “Look, I don’t want to hear your preaching right now. Let me handle my own business. How is Layla?” she asked, shifting her attention away from Envy and focusing on Becky.
Mr. Hobbs didn’t allow Becky to speak. He shared the story of what happened with not only Kacie, but with the church people who had flooded inside the waiting room.
Kacie burst into tears. “I knew that son of a—”
“Stop it, Kacie,” Envy warned and grabbed hold of her hand.
“I’m just saying; we knew he was no good. He treated her like she was nothing. I hate him. I hate him, and I hope he rots in jail.”
The family shared tears, and Mr. Hobbs did his best to comfort the women. The associate minister talked to the family, prayed with them, and tried to do what he could to help ease the tension.
Two and a half hours passed before the doctor came to talk to the family.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hobbs,” he said, “your daughter had some extensive injuries to her intestine and a portion of her stomach. We had to remove the damaged parts and that included removing a part of her stomach and her lower intestines. We located the bleeding and sealed it off.”
“Is she going to be all right?” asked Becky.
“The next twenty-four hours are important. We just have to hope that infection doesn’t set up in her body. We have her on an IV of antibiotics. If she can fight off the infection, I believe I can safely say that she’ll recover. We’re going to keep her in ICU for at least twenty-four hours to monitor her closely. She’s sedated right now. But I have to tell you, she’s very lucky to be alive. She took one serious shot to the belly and another shot to her shoulder, barely missing her jugular vein.”
“Oh, God,” Mrs. Hobbs gasped. Becky walked over to her mother to try to calm her down.
“Thank you, doctor.” Mr. Hobbs reached out and shook the doctor’s hand. “Thank you so much.”
“She’s in recovery right now. Only immediate relatives can see her. She needs to be protected from infection, and like I said, she’s heavily sedated. Two of you should be able to see her for a few minutes when she’s out of recovery. After that, I ask that you allow her to rest.”
“We will,” Mrs. Hobbs said and hugged the doctor before he turned and walked out of the waiting room. “God bless you, doctor.”
The family managed to laugh when Lee walked in.
“Lee, thank God you made it,” Mrs. Hobbs said. “I thought you were going to call so your daddy could pick you up from the airport.”
“No, I got a cab here. I didn’t want Daddy leaving the hospital to get me. How is she? How’s my little sister?”
“Layla is in serious condition,” Mr. Hobbs said. Then he relayed all that the doctor had just reported. He concluded with, “You know your sister didn’t deserve anything like this. She never did anything to hurt anybody.”
“I know, Dad. But everything is going to be okay. God has already spared her life.” He hugged his father, and then one by one, he went down the line hugging and kissing his family, Envy, and Kacie.
Moments later, one of the ICU nurses came in and allowed Mr. & Mrs. Hobbs went in to see their baby girl.