When we stop holding onto the ugly, beauty appears
and when we stop holding onto lies, truth appears. Laura Teresa Marquez
Layla’s recuperation miraculously came quickly. After ten days, she was discharged from the hospital. Many church folks and Mr. and Mrs. Hobbs called Layla a walking, talking, miracle from God.
Layla was determined to be taken to her apartment to see where it all happened. Against her parents’ wishes, they reluctantly gave in and took her. Shreds of yellow police tape still could be seen strewn on the lawn. Layla, with the aid of her father and brother, walked to the front door, and with barely a nudge, it came open. There was blood everywhere; on the walls, the furniture, and the floor. Layla covered her mouth with her hand and almost stumbled backward, but Mr. Hobbs managed to break her fall.
“Sis, come on; let’s get out of here,” Lee urged. “I can’t believe they haven’t had this apartment cleaned by now.” He tugged her by her shoulder.
Layla didn’t move. She was grateful that God had saved her life, but seeing what she’d just seen, she understood that she would never be able to go back to the place where she’d almost died.
Like he could read her thoughts, Mr. Hobbs said, “Come on, baby. Let’s get out of here. We’re taking you home with us.”
“Yes, baby, we’re going to take care of you,” her mother reassured her.
Layla didn’t put up a fuss. She needed to feel safe, secure, and taken care of. Her parents were the only ones she trusted to do that. All the way to her parents’ house, Layla cried. She didn’t know that her parents had spoken to the manager of her apartment complex. The manager immediately told them that she had already begun to work on getting Layla transferred to one of their other properties, but it was Layla’s decision if she wanted to move. The manager explained that the other complex was well kept, with beautiful grounds, spacious living, excellent security, and more amenities than her old apartment.
Layla was visited often by Kacie and Envy. They were good at cheering her up. Kacie even brought the kids to see Layla, which she loved. While spending the next three weeks with her parents, Lee, who remained in Memphis on FMLA, along with her father and several of Layla’s church members, moved everything out of her apartment. Becky also remained in town to help Mrs. Hobbs take care of Layla. Every day, Layla gained more strength. She quickly began to lose weight after having the surgery because it reduced the size of her stomach and removed some of her intestines.
“Layla, honey, when you’re able to be on your own, and only if you want to, the manager from your old apartment said that a unit far from the previous place you lived is available for you,” her mother explained.
“And it is beautiful,” Becky added.
“You’ve seen it?” Layla asked while she sat down in the family recliner. “Where is it?” Her voice was continually becoming stronger, and she was moving and walking with much more ease.
“It’s on Baldwin Avenue, two streets over from us. The Baldwin Apartments. Do you know them?”
Layla’s eyes flickered just a tiny bit. “Yes, they are really nice. I mean, really nice. But they’re also more expensive and I don’t see-”
“Shh,” her mother said. “Stop it. Don’t you think that if God brought you back from the brink of death, that He can surely provide you a place of safety? All you have to do is say the word, and when you’re ready, we’ll take you to your new apartment.”
“Are y’all trying to get rid of me?” Layla held her stomach to reduce the pain when she laughed.
“You know better than that,” Becky interjected.
“Yeah, I know. I was just kidding. But seriously, Momma, thank you so much.” Layla looked at Becky. “And you too, Becky, for taking care of me. I think I’ll be ready soon, just not right now, Layla looked down and sadness filled her face. “I want to wait until I see justice served. That’s why, even though it’s going to be hard for me today, I have to be in court. I have to.”
Lee sat down beside her on her bed. “Look, sis, you don’t have anything to prove to anybody. This bum has already pleaded guilty. So why not stay here and rest? We’ll all be there for you.”
“I hear what you’re saying, Lee, but I’ve got to do this. I have to do it or I might not ever get on with my life. I hope you understand.” She raised her head and looked at her brother with solemn, but serious eyes.
“I don’t know if I do, but I respect your wishes. In that case, you’d better get ready. It won’t be long before we have to leave,” he said and grabbed Layla’s hand.
Layla was right. She felt relieved when she went to court to face Mike. She believed that this was the start of regaining the life he tried so hard to end. She was still weak and in serious pain, but she tried to remain strong. She wanted to look at him in his eyes and hear what he had to say, which turned out to be nothing much at all, except the words, “Guilty, your honor.”
Layla could easily have been killed that night four and a half weeks ago. As a result of what Mike had done to her, she would never be the same. She would never be able to trust a man again. The scars that were still fresh and slowly healing reminded her of the night he barged inside her apartment and did the unthinkable. The mental sound of the bullets aimed directly at her made her jump.
Envy looked at Layla with a worried expression. “Layla, are you up to this? You still aren’t fully healed. Why not go home, and I promise to tell you everything that happened.”
“No, I can’t leave,” she spoke softly to reduce the pain she felt every time she breathed or tried to speak.
Her parents, Lee, Becky, and Alonzo, who had driven in from Chattanooga earlier that day, were there to support Layla. Envy was in the courtroom huddling close to the family as well. One last plea to convince Layla to go home went defeated. Layla could be stubborn when she wanted to, and this was one of those times.
Mike’s mother and his live-in girlfriend, who had mocked Layla once, were present on the other side of the courtroom. It was at the hearing that Layla found out that Mike had a rap sheet that went back to the time he was eighteen years old. He’d been in and out of jail for everything from assault to attempted burglary, and possession of drugs, but had never spent more than three years in prison. The judge today wasn’t lenient. Mike had far surpassed the three strikes law. The judge sentenced him to 25 years to life in prison.
Gasps and cries spilled from the courtroom from Mike’s side of the family, while praises to God were screamed on Layla’s side. But Layla remained quiet. She watched as they led Mike away in handcuffs and shackles. He looked back over his shoulder, and his eyes met hers.
“I’m sorry, Layla. I still love you,” he shouted as the armed guard pushed him through the exit door.
The girlfriend jumped up and screamed all kinds of expletives at him, but Layla couldn’t respond. She didn’t know if it were due to fear, or the fact that Mike could possibly equate love with hurt. One thing was for certain, she was glad it was over. Then a sweet, sweet spirit passed over her. She was free. Free indeed to start the new life God had granted her.
“Aren’t you glad all of this is finally behind you?” Envy asked as they all walked out of the courtroom and outside into an overcast day.
“Yes, I am. It’s amazing how you think you know someone, but you find out you don’t know that person at all,” remarked Layla.
A knot formed in the base of Envy’s throat before she answered. “Yeah, it is.” Envy quickly changed the subject. “I don’t know if you talked to Kacie, but she had to work and couldn’t get here this morning.” Envy paused. “And I need to go myself. Are you going to be all right?”
“Sure, I’ll be just fine. We’re going to go get some lunch, and then Becky and Lee are leaving. Lee is going to ride as far as Nashville with Becky and Alonzo and fly out of there to Chicago.”
“Oh, that’s right." Envy then called out to Layla’s siblings and ran toward them as they stood at the bottom of the courthouse steps waiting on Layla. Envy hugged both Lee and Becky. “It was good to see you all again, although I wish it had been under different circumstances. Have a safe trip back, and don’t worry; Kacie and I will make sure Layla is well taken care of.” They returned the hugs and goodbyes. As Layla joined them, Envy concluded with, “I’ll talk to you all later on.”
”Becky, Lee, Mom and Dad, I love all of y’all so much. I have the best family in the world,” Layla cried with excitement ringing in her voice. Mom, I really want to see the new apartment, and then after that, I want to get some rest and take a pain pill. I’m hurting pretty badly right now.”
“Why don’t you wait then, honey?” her father strongly suggested.
“No, I want to do it while I’m out. I’ll be okay,” insisted Layla.
When her parents took her to her new apartment, Layla’s blues turned to smiles. The apartment was decorated impeccably with her favorite colors. Anyone who knew Layla knew she loved color. They used tangerine, lemon, mint, and greenery to accent the otherwise white walled apartment. There were several live plants strategically placed throughout the two bedroom apartment and nice pieces of art. From the dining room table all the way to the bedrooms, no stone had been left unturned. Layla was so overcome that she broke down and cried like a baby. Tears flowed endlessly as her family and one of her church members, who’d come over to take pictures for the church photograph ministry, couldn’t stop her.
Layla mumbled incoherently, but it was finally understood that she was just overcome with sheer joy and thankfulness. Several minutes later, she blew her nose, and as more tears formed she said, “God’s love is amazing. He promised He would never leave me or forsake me, and He didn’t. He promised that whatever the devil did with the intent to harm me that He would make it work for my good. And look at this.” She spread her arms out and looked all around. Layla lifted her head and her hands and praised God. Her family and the church visitor couldn’t keep their control either. They prayed, they sang, and they cried and gave God all praise, honor, and glory.
Layla’s mother told her how the church pitched in and provided many of the things needed to fill her apartment. There was not one item left to remind her of the apartment she’d left behind. The blood splattered sofa and loveseat had been replaced with a chocolate leather sofa accented with oranges, yellows, and limes.
Layla managed to tour every inch of the house, including the balcony leading from her living room.
“Baby, we’d better get ready to leave,” her mother told her, “so you can get some rest.”
“Mother, and the rest of you; hear me out. I want to stay here. I’ll be fine. I’ve cried so much that I’m in pain. I want to lie down on my new bed.” Layla smiled. “I want to sleep here. I have a dose of my pain medication inside my purse.” She hugged everybody once more before they reluctantly left.
Layla’s parents appeared quite concerned, but Lee spoke up on her behalf. “Mom, Dad, remember that you’re just a couple of blocks away from her. Layla has a phone already installed and turned on.” Lee looked at Layla who returned his look with one of total surprise. The security is great over here, and being here alone for a few hours might actually help her.”
Sighing deeply, Mr. Hobbs finally gave his okay. “Layla, you have to promise to answer the phone. Me and your momma have a key, and if you so much as hear a creak, I want you on the phone to security. All you have to do is put in your apartment number, and they’ll come running.
“Daddy, I promise. And Mom, please don’t look so worried. God has already revealed how He’s looking after me or I wouldn’t be sitting here right now.” Layla tilted her head and smiled gingerly at her mother who relented and smiled back.
“You’re right, baby. I just want you to be safe. Safe and happy,” her mother said. “I’ll get you a glass of water so you can take your pill while you say your goodbyes to your sister and brother.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Layla shed more tears and embraced Becky, Lee, and her brother-on-law. “Thank y’all for everything. Be safe on the highway, and Lee, please make sure you call when you get to Chicago.”
“I will, li'l sis. I will.” They all hugged again, and Mrs. Hobbs gave Layla her pain pill and a glass of water.
“Now get you some rest. It’s been a long day. And if you want me to come back and spend the night with you, just call me, you hear?” Mrs. Hobbs asked.
“Yes, I will, Mother. I promise. Now y’all just go. I’m ready to lie down.” They kissed a final time, and Layla got the set of keys from her father and made sure all doors were locked behind them and the security alarm was on.
Like she said she would, Layla lay back on her new bed and sleep met her quickly. She slept for the next three hours until the phone ringing caused her to wake up.
“You asleep?” It was Envy. “I’m so sorry; we didn’t mean to wake you.”
“We who?” she asked groggily.
“Me, I’m on the phone too,” said Kacie.
“No, I’ve been asleep for a few hours. What’s going on?” Layla asked and walked to the bathroom to empty her bladder.
“Do y’all feel like going out to celebrate a little tonight?” Envy asked her two friends.
“Go out where?” Kacie asked.
“My job gave me a one hundred dollar gift card for dinner at O’Charley’s or Chili's. Y’all got other plans?”
“I’ve just had a long day, and I’m totally tired,” Layla answered groggily. “Envy, why don’t you and Kacie go and celebrate for me?”
“I guess y’all forget I have kids,” Kacie pouted.
“No, I was thinking you could get that teenage girl down the street from you to watch them for a couple of hours, since she’s watched them before.”
“Yeah, girl. Go on and call her. Y’all go and have some fun for me. But I’m just not up to it. Maybe some other time real soon,” Layla added.
“Kacie, we won’t be gone that long. I have to work in the morning. I just wanted to do something to celebrate what happened with Mike in court, plus Layla’s new apartment and just for everything God has brought her through. We can wait until another time if y’all want to. It’s up to you two.”
“Which is why I want y’all to go on and go tonight,” Layla insisted. “Celebrate for me.”
“Okay, then,” added Kacie.
“Okay, we’ve got a plan. Where are we going? Layla, since this is really your celebration where do you want us to eat?”
“O’Charley’s,” Layla answered right away.
“I agree,” commented Kacie.
“O’Charley’s it is. Long as I can get my grub on,” added Envy.
“For somebody who eats a ton, you stay thin as a spaghetti stick. I hate you,” Layla joked.
“Girl, puhleeze. Since you got half of your stomach removed, you’re losing weight like crazy. You keep it up and you’ll be the one looking like a straw.” Envy laughed. “Anyway, I have to get to this meeting and finish working on a project. Kacie I guess it’s me and you. I’ll meet you at the restaurant around six thirty.”
“Bye,” each one replied.
×
Kacie and Envy arrived at O’Charley’s almost at the same time. Kacie parked and jumped out of the car. She stood next to Envy’s car in silence when Envy raised a finger beckoning her to hold on for a moment.
‘What did you just say?” Envy’s face turned colors and her expression changed from relaxed to serious. “I can’t believe you, Nikkei. You wait until now to call me with this when you knew you were going to do it today. See, that’s what I mean about you. You do stuff like this just to be spiteful and low-down. But you know what? That’s all right. You’re going to get yours. Goodbye.” Envy shut her phone and stuffed it inside her purse.
In total amazement, Kacie asked, “What was that all about?”
“Nikkei’s low-down butt. I swear. I know she’s my sister, but I sure can’t tell it sometimes. She talked to me a few weeks ago about putting mother in a nursing home. And I sort of agree because Momma is just getting worse. I mean she’s walked off from Nikkei’s and she keeps forgetting that she is not with daddy anymore. Somehow she thinks the two of them are still together. So like I said, I know I can’t take care of her. And I know that Nikkei can’t take care of her anymore either. I understand that. But the thing that makes me so mad, Kacie, is that she just called and told me that she put our mother in a nursing home up in Murfreesboro. That’s four hours away from here. How will I ever have the time to see my mother? She never bothered to tell me she was even thinking about moving Momma that far away from here. Momma doesn’t know anything about Murfreesboro and neither does Nikkei or me.”
Kacie’s lips parted in surprise. “Why would she do something like that?”
“I told you. She’s spiteful and vengeful. She’ll do anything she can that will make me go off. And since she’s the power of attorney over mother, there’s not a dang thing I can do about it. She’s going to pay for being the smart butt, conniving sister she is.”
The ladies entered the restaurant and waited for the hostess to seat them. It wasn’t crowded so the two friends didn’t have to wait to be seated. They looked over the menu the hostess left, and when the waitress arrived at their table, they knew exactly what they wanted.
They spent the next two hours munching on two appetizer dishes of nachos, veggie egg rolls, Buffalo wings, and spinach dip. The waitress delivered a pitcher of strawberry margarita to add to the delicious delicacies.
Laughing and talking between eating and drinking, Kacie spoke up after downing her first margarita. The light buzz she felt from the alcohol sent any inhibitions she may have remotely had right out the window. She ranted on and on about Deacon. Deacon this and Deacon that.
“Kacie, what’s up with you? You said not long ago that you had something to tell me and Layla.” Envy stared without blinking at Kacie.
“Oh, nothing that can’t wait. Just something about me and Deacon, is all. I want to wait ‘til both of my home girls are here.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me now?
“No no. That won’t be necessary, really,” Kacie answered and placed her hand on her breast.
“Come on, then. I’m ready to get home. You get home too, or you’re going to owe that babysitter all of your paycheck,” joked Envy.
Kacie never revealed that she’d left the kids at home again by themselves. Everything wasn’t to be shared, friends or no friends, is how Kacie often thought.
“Check you later, Kacie. We’ll talk tomorrow. Tomorrow, no more excuses,” Envy pointed and wobbled a bit. “I want to hear what you and Mr. Deacon are up to. For all I know, you might be getting ready to walk down the aisle.” Smiling, Envy transferred her gaze from Kacie, then she opened her car door and climbed inside.
Kacie brushed Envy off with her hands. She got in her car and sped off, burning rubber out of the restaurant parking lot. She flipped the radio stations until she heard one of her favorite Mary J. Blige songs. She turned up the volume and swayed to the beat of the music. A few minutes later, Kacie wore an inward smile when she thought about the new life forming inside of her belly. “I love that song,” Kacie said when it ended.
Envy arrived home only to be stunned at the sight before her eyes. She sobered up instantly when she pulled into her driveway only to see Mrs. Rawlings outside, on her knees, tending her garden. “It’s almost nine-thirty at night. What is she doing outside?” Envy asked herself.
Envy closed the door to her car. Concerned, she walked over to Mrs. Rawlings’s side of the yard. “Good evening,” Envy said as she approached the elderly woman. “Do you know what time it is?”
“I’m not feeling too well to tell you the truth, so I thought I’d come out here and work in my garden. I thought it would make me feel better.”
Mrs. Rawlings wiped her forehead, straightened up, and then walked over and sat down on one of the steps leading to her duplex. The fall weather hadn’t affected Mrs. Rawlings at all. She looked flushed and sweaty like it was a hot summer day.
Envy touched her head with the back of her hand. She felt clammy and warm. “You shouldn’t be out here, Mrs. Rawlings. You feel feverish.”
“I’ll be all right. Believe me, I’ve had worse days.”
“Maybe so, but I don’t want you to have any more, especially when I can do something to help you. Have you eaten today?”
“I had a few peanut butter crackers, and a cup of coffee. Didn’t really want it, but I made myself eat it.”
“Are you in pain?”
“At my age, you’re always going to have pain at some time or another. I don’t complain.”
“Mrs. Rawlings, I understand that, but I’m asking if you feel different, like you’re coming down with a cold or flu?”
“My legs and head have been hurting. I thought if I came outside and worked in the yard, that I might feel better. But to tell you the truth, I feel a little weak.”
“Come on, let’s get you inside.” Envy pushed the remote lock on her car door before grabbing hold of Mrs. Rawlings’s elbow. She helped the old lady to her feet and up the steps to her opened door. She’d been inside Mrs. Rawlings’s home twice since the time she’d lived next door to her. Everything was practically the same as she remembered. Antique pieces of polished furniture were in the living room and dining room. The house was clean but still had what some folks called “an old folks smell.” Envy led Mrs. Rawlings into the den and assisted her in sitting in her recliner. “Where is your first aid kit?” Envy asked. “I need to take your temperature.”
“In the bathroom. Look in the bottom drawer of the vanity, and you’ll see it.”
The kit was exactly where Mrs. Rawlings told Envy it was. She took her temperature and found that it was 101.2. Not good for someone of Mrs. Rawlings’s age.
“Mrs. Rawlings, I’m going to take you to the hospital. Your fever is too high, and you’re looking listless and weak.
“Baby, I don’t need to go to the hospital. All I need is a cool drink of water and a Tylenol. I’ll be just fine after I take it and lie down. You go on over there and check on Fischer. You know he knows you’re home. Dogs can hear good; real good, you know.”
“Yes, I know. And I’ll let Fischer out, but then I’m taking you to the emergency room. And I don’t want any arguments about it.” Envy’s voice was firm and matter of factly. No matter how much Mrs. Rawlings worked her last nerves, she cared about the old woman. Mrs. Rawlings was like a grandmother to her. Envy would never admitted it, but she loved that old woman, nosy and all. “Mrs. Rawlings, I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, just as soon as Fischer does his business.”
Envy gave her a glass of tap water and a Tylenol for the fever and ran over to her side of the duplex to let Fischer outside to relieve himself. Afterward, she did just as she had promised and headed back over to Mrs. Rawlings’s place.
On the way to the hospital, Mrs. Rawlings was unusually quiet. This concerned Envy even more. There was hardly a time she’d not heard Mrs. Rawlings talking, giving her advice, or telling her about her own business. She always had something to say. Now here the old lady sat on the passenger side of the car, and the only sound emitting from her lips was a raspy breathing of sorts.
Envy reached over and touched Mrs. Rawlings’s wrinkled hand. “We’ll be at the hospital in a few minutes, Mrs. Rawlings.”
Mrs. Rawlings murmured incoherently.
A few minutes later, Envy pulled into the emergency room parking area. “Mrs. Rawlings, I’m going to go inside and get a wheelchair. I’ll be right back.”
Nothing.
Envy left and then quickly returned with the wheelchair, and with ease, she transferred the petite woman into the chair and headed off to the emergency station. The triage nurse checked Mrs. Rawlings’s vitals and asked her a few questions, but Mrs. Rawlings was rambling. Envy told triage how she’d discovered her outside in the yard and from that point on, Mrs. Rawlings’s health had deteriorated rapidly.
Two hours later, a male voice called Envy’s name. “Ma’am, are you Mrs. Rawlings’s next of kin?”
“No. I’m…I’m her neighbor. I look after her. She doesn’t have any living relatives that I know of. How is she?”
“She’s going to be admitted to the hospital. She has diabetes and her sugar level is quite high. She’s also dehydrated and she has a fever, which indicates there might be some infection.”
“Is she going to be all right?” Envy was shaken and her nerves were on edge.
“I believe so, but with her age and the health problems we’ve discovered, it can be tough to get things under control. If you want to come back to her room, you can. As soon as we get a vacant hospital bed, we’ll be moving her.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” She followed the nurse to the ER room where Mrs. Rawlings was. She was hooked up to an IV. Envy couldn’t fathom how, just moments ago, Mrs. Rawlings was talking and now she was looking frail; like the wind had been sucked right out of her. “Mrs. Rawlings, how are you feeling?”
Mrs. Rawlings turned her head slowly until her sunken eyes stilled on Envy. “Baby, don’t you worry ‘bout me. I’ve told you time and time again that the good Lord has me in His hands. I’m going to be just fine.”
“They’re going to put you in a room as soon as one becomes available. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”
“You go on home now, child,” she whispered weakly. “You need to see about your baby.”
Envy gasped. Baby? What is she talking about? She’s feverish, incoherent. She obviously doesn’t know what she’s saying. “No, I’m going to stay right here until you get in a room. Is there anyone you want me to call? Church member? Pastor? Anyone?” asked Envy, still reeling from what Mrs. Rawlings had said about a baby.
“No, dahlin. I want to wait to see how long I’m going to be in here first. Since you’re set on staying, sit down over there.” Mrs. Rawlings pointed at the chair in the corner of the room. This time, Mrs. Rawlings sounded just like herself. She acted liked she knew exactly who Envy was. Envy sat down. An hour passed before an attendant came in and rolled Mrs. Rawlings to her room. Envy stayed with her until her eyes grew droopy and sleep claimed her.
On the drive home, Envy tried to make reason of what Mrs. Rawlings had talked about. “Why did she say that about a baby?” Envy decided to let it go. There was no sense in getting uptight about the words of an old, sickly woman who was confused and almost in a diabetic coma. Envy shrugged her shoulders and thought about who she should call to keep her company for the night.
Mrs. Rawlings had been in the hospital for three days so far. Every evening after work, Envy stopped by her apartment to let Fischer outside to relieve himself, and then she headed to the hospital to sit with Mrs. Rawlings. She spent as much time with the old lady as she could; really more than she had ever spent with her own mother. Envy began to genuinely care about Mrs. Rawlings. Not that she didn’t before Mrs. Rawlings became sick, but Envy started to see her as more than just a nosy old neighbor. She slowly began to see her as a friend.
Early Saturday morning, day four of Mrs. Rawlings’s hospital stay, Envy got up and fed Fischer. Afterward, they jogged through the quiet, serene neighborhood inhabited by mostly retired senior residents. Tree lined streets, leaves falling, and the kind of neighbors who lived their lives without trying to get all up in her business. It was what she loved most about her neighborhood. There was only one exception: Mrs. Rawlings.
Mrs. Rawlings was one of those people who didn’t hesitate saying what she thought. Fiercely independent, the widow often gave glory to God for being in sound mind, still able to drive and do for herself at the age of eighty-two, and in fairly good health – until now. She’d been married sixty years before her husband died in his sleep from natural causes four years ago. She didn’t have any living relatives, nor did her husband because both of them came from very small families who were now deceased. Envy slowly began to understand that Mrs. Rawlings was quite a wise, God-fearing woman. Her intentions were good, but for Envy, she looked out for her a little too much; especially when she got on Envy about the flow of men coming and going from her apartment.
Whose business was it to dictate to her how to live her life? Envy was a private person when it came to her personal life; her comings and goings. But like a magnetic radar screen, it seemed that Mrs. Rawlings could tell every time a man rang her doorbell. She didn’t mind lecturing Envy about her lifestyle either. The opposite side of the spectrum was that when needed, Mrs. Rawlings was there for Envy. Even when she needed someone to care of Fischer when she had to go out of town or had to be away from home for an extended period of time, Mrs. Rawlings never batted an eye. She would gladly step in to help Envy. There were times Envy came home and found that Mrs. Rawlings, despite her age, had mowed both of their lawns and planted flowers on her side of the duplex. She was an amazing woman. If only she would stop being judgmental about Envy’s chosen lifestyle.
After her walk with Fischer, Envy bathed and dressed casually so she could go to see Mrs. Rawlings. The wind kicked at her curls when she stepped out of the car and walked toward the hospital entrance. Envy walked down the hospital corridor with calm confidence. She slowed her pace when she arrived in front of the hospital gift shop where she purchased a colorful bouquet of flowers for her neighbor. Catching the elevator to the eighth floor, she stepped out and headed to room 826. Lightly knocking, she heard the mild-mannered voice whisper for her to come in.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Rawlings.” She walked over to her bedside and sat the bouquet of flowers on the table next to the bed.
Mrs. Rawlings’s smile seemed to light up her entire face when she saw the bouquet. “Oh, Envy, these are so beautiful,” she remarked and turned to smell the flower arrangement.
“I’m glad you like them. Has the doctor been in today?”
“Yes. My sugar is down to 110. If it maintains at this level, I’ll be going home tomorrow. How’s my house? What about my garden?” Mrs. Rawlings sounded worried.
“I told you, Mrs. Rawlings. I’m taking care of everything. Your house, the garden, even the leaves have been raked. If you get to come home tomorrow, I’ll be here to get you. I’m going to check with your doctor’s nurse and see what you should be eating. Then I’m going to go to the grocery store and get it and go back home and stock your pantry and fridge.” Envy sat down in the chair next to Mrs. Rawlings’s bed. She grasped her hand and lightly squeezed it. “You’re going to be fine. I’m going to see to that.”
“You’re such a sweet girl. That’s why I don’t understand why you do the things you do. You’re pretty as a Georgia peach, smart as a whip, and you have so much going for yourself. But baby, you have to learn how to put your faith and trust in God. Can’t no man, and no sex give you what you need.”
Envy squirmed uncomfortably in her chair. Why did Mrs. Rawlings always have to go there? Seemed like no matter what, Mrs. Rawlings made her way to talking about Envy’s personal business. Enough was enough. She had to tell her how she felt.
“Mrs. Rawlings, I don’t mean to sound disrespectful, but I have to say this. You cannot run my personal life. I care about you, and I believe you care about me. But I can no more dictate to you about who you allow in and out of your home than you can mine. And you seem to assume that the friends who come to visit are coming to have sex with me. Why do you assume that? I’m a single, successful woman with my own. So let me do me, Mrs. Rawlings. Let me do me.”
“Honey, you might believe that you can fool me and other folks for that matter, but God’s eyes are watching you. Every step you make, every breath you take, and every man you bed knowing you are not married, God sees it. One day you’ll realize that I’m telling you the truth. Mark my words; something you’re hiding from is going to come to the light. Believe me, child. God is not one to lie, and He’s shown me that you’ve got something you’re hiding. But you can’t hide from Him, baby. You can’t hide from Him.” Mrs. Rawlings spoke boldly. “The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good."
Envy didn’t respond, but the look on her face spoke volumes. She tried to force a smile of thanks for the so called words of wisdom Mrs. Rawlings spoke, but found it impossible to do so.
“You don’t have to say a thing. You know what I’m saying is coming from God. When you get ready, you can always come to me. Let me change that. When you get ready, God is waiting to hear you tell Him what He already knows. After that, if you need a servant of God to talk to, remember that I’m here for you.” This time Mrs. Rawlings caressed Envy’s trembling hand.
The nurse came in, and Envy quickly regained her composure. She welcomed the interruption. The nurse looked at Envy. “Hello, are you Mrs. Rawlings’s granddaughter?” she asked with a smile plastered on her starched white face.
“No, I’m her neighbor.”
“She’s a character, you know. A delightful patient. We’re going to miss her when she’s discharged.” The nurse patted Mrs. Rawlings on her arm. “Mrs. Rawlings, it’s time for me to check your insulin level.” She poked Mrs. Rawlings’s finger with the diabetic meter. “Ninety-eight. That’s good. You’re doing really well,” the nurse said.
“I’m not surprised. God has me in the palm of His hands,” Mrs. Rawlings replied.
“Lunch will be here soon. I’ll check back on you later on this afternoon.” She turned again toward Envy. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Envy responded.
“The nurse nodded her head, smiled, and walked off. “Buzz me if you need me, Mrs. Rawlings.”
Mrs. Rawlings’s white as the driven snow skin seemed to make her beguiling green eyes sparkle like emeralds. Her wrinkled skin looked like ripples of brushing ocean waves crashing against the beach. Envy felt like the secrets she’d hidden all of these years had somehow been revealed to Mrs. Rawlings. But that was impossible. There was no way Mrs. Rawlings, or anyone else, could know what she’d kept protected and sealed in her heart. She swallowed hard before she stood. “Since you’re doing fine, I’m going to get ready to leave. I’m going to stop at the nurses’ station and see if I can get a diet plan for you. I should have asked that nurse when she came in, but it slipped my mind. I’ll call you later, but in the meantime, if you need anything, you know how to get in touch with me.” Awkwardly, Envy leaned over the bedrail. Her eyeglasses slid down, but she still managed to kiss Mrs. Rawlings lightly on the forehead.
“Thank you, baby for coming to see me.”
“Bye, Mrs. Rawlings.” With each step she took up the corridor, Envy’s stomach clenched tighter. Her mind filled with fear, panic, and the stark reality of what she’d done. Without forewarning, a scripture came to her mind. Be sure your sin will find you out.
In her car, Envy swallowed hard again. Mrs. Rawlings had struck a nerve. Without thinking, she picked up the phone and called her estranged father’s house. It had been over a year since she’d last spoken to Charles. When his wife, Carol, answered the phone, Envy started to hang up, but decided otherwise. “Hello…this is Envy Wilson. Is my father there?”
“Envy, my goodness, young lady. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard your voice. How are you?” the woman asked in a polite manner.
“I’m fine, thank you.” No matter how nice and polite her father’s wife sounded, Envy wouldn’t allow herself to get close to her. She felt that the woman was the reason her father left them. Her mother didn’t tell her that, it was just something Envy believed. She had to be the reason he left. No father could leave his children unless some other woman out in the streets made him.
“Envy, it’s good to hear from you. I wish you wouldn’t wait so long to call. You know your father’s getting older and he misses you. He talks about you all of the time; you and Nikkei.”
“Is he there?” Envy asked without responding to anything her stepmother had said.
“Yes, he’s here. I’ll go get him.”
Silence.
“Envy, baby. How are you?” her father asked after getting on the phone. He sounded like he was glad to hear from her. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, Daddy. I was just thinking about you.” She spoke somberly. “Daddy, Nikkei is putting Momma in a nursing home next week up in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.”
“Yes, I know. She came by and brought the grandchildren to see us. They’re growing like wild weeds, aren’t they?” Envy could hear the sound of joy in the tone of his voice.
“Yes, sir. They sure are.”
“I can’t wait until a man snags you. You’re such a talented and gorgeous girl. I’m proud of you, Envy. I know I don’t get a chance to tell you that as much as I should, but I am, you know. I wish you’d come around. I miss seeing you, baby.”
“Thanks, Daddy, but I hate to disappoint you. You see, I don’t plan on getting married or having children. Not ever.” She spoke with emphasis and a mild harshness in her voice.
Charles didn’t return his thoughts about what she’d said. He shifted the conversation back to Envy’s mother. “I hated to hear that about your mother. From what Nikkei has told me, your mother has gotten worse. I know you don’t like the idea of her being in a nursing home, but it’s too hard on your sister. She has a family, you know.”
Envy grew angrier with each word spewing from her father’s mouth. It was just like Nikkei to call and tell him her sob story. Nikkei was always vying for their father’s attention. Every time Envy looked at Nikkei, she saw something of their jealous mother in her. Now here she was, beating her to the punch by calling him and making herself sound like an angel.
“Daddy, when am I going to see you?” Envy sounded like a young child.
“Honey, you know you’re welcome to come to our home any time that you want to. Your stepmother and I would love to have you. Your sisters and brother would love to see their big sister too,” Charles said and chuckled.
It wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. She didn’t want to see her stepmother or her little sisters and brother. She wanted to see him. It had been like this since her father left. How could she dare go around that woman and his children? No way, no how. “I’ll see, Daddy. So much is going on at work that I barely have any free time. Anyway, I’ll talk to you later. I have another call coming in.”
“I love you too, baby. I hope we see you real soon.”
Envy hung up the phone. Tears trickled from her eyes. She turned the ignition, shifted the gear in reverse, turned, and drove off the hospital property.