I’m stronger, I’m wiser, I’m better. Marvin Sapp
Since the horrible shooting, Layla had lost thirty pounds in one month. Her appetite had diminished dramatically since they removed part of her stomach and intestines. She often became queasy if she tried to eat more than her stomach could hold. Layla looked at herself in the mirror and thought about Dennis’ offer to take her to lunch. She wanted to say yes, but the other part of her wasn’t quite ready to trust in a man again. She switched her focus from Dennis to God.
Continuing to converse with the person in the mirror, Layla said, “God, thank you for saving my life. Thank you for taking a bad situation and making it work for my good. I’m healthier, I’m stronger, and I’m wiser. I owe it all to you, Lord.”
+
“It’s going to be fun having a girl’s night out.” Kacie laughed as the three friends chattered away on the phone, on three-way. “Seems like forever since the three of us have been able to hang out together just for fun. So I say, before we go to the Orpheum to see that play, and since we are going to be downtown, let’s do some wild and crazy shopping for you, Layla. You need to show off that new figure. Who knows; you just might see Mr. Postman again one day.” This time Envy and Layla laughed along with Kacie.
Envy added, “Now you’re talking with sense. I agree. Layla, we are going to get your shop on, baby.”
“All right, since y’all insist,” screamed Layla into the phone. “Y’all know something?” She paused.
“Naw, but I bet you’re about to tell us,” chuckled Kacie.
“Ha, ha, ha, funny,” Layla answered. “What I was about to say is that I hope I can do this. I want to trust in a man again.”
Envy was extremely elated for Layla. Maybe the postman would help Layla take her mind off the horror of what Mike had done to her.
“Layla, suppose he’s the one,” Kacie added.
“Kacie, why do you always have to look at a man like he’s the next meal ticket or something?” Envy’s voice dripped with chastisement.
“I do not,” Kacie countered. “But the truth is the truth. We all need a good man in our lives. What woman doesn’t like love, attention, affection, and a few dead presidents to go along with it?” She chuckled over the phone.
“With all of those kids you have, I guess you have a point,” Layla teased on the sly.
“You got that right,” agreed Envy.
Silence.
“Layla, just tell the man you’ll have lunch with him, and then go have a good time. Don’t be acting shy and all quiet like you’ve never had a good man before. Although you haven’t,” Kacie said with an unnecessary twinge of bitterness in her tone.
“That’s enough, Kacie,” Envy warned.
“I’m sorry, Layla. I was only joking.”
“I know you, Kacie,” quipped Layla. “I’m too high on excitement to let anything you say bring me down.”
“Since I have y’all on the phone, I guess I better go on and tell you what it was I had to tell you.” Kacie’s tone turned from silly to serious.
“Do you have to tell us now? asked Layla.
“Yeah, can’t it wait?” Envy agreed. “I have a staff meeting in about fifteen minutes. We can talk this evening since we’re going out.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. What time do y’all want me to be ready, and who’s driving? You or Kacie?” asked Layla.
“I’ll drive,” Envy volunteered. “I’m going to get out of here as early as possible so I can, go home and get ready, check on Fischer and my neighbor’s place, and then run by the hospital.”
“Are you talking about that nosy old lady who lives next door to you?” Kacie asked.
“Yes, she’s in the hospital. But you know, I’m beginning to have a change of opinion; she’s not so bad after all,” said Envy. “She really happens to be a nice woman. I know I complain about her a lot, but when it’s all said and done, she looks out for me. She reminds me of a grandmother. When I leave from there, I’ll pick you up first, Layla, and then we’ll get you, Kacie. I should be at your place around seven fifteen. And will both of you please be ready?”
“I will be ready,” responded Layla.
“Me too,” said Kacie.
“Kacie, as for you,” said Envy, “I hope you have a babysitter. You’re going to keep leaving those children at home alone and Child Protective Services is going to ride down on your tail. So get that together for tonight or you won’t be going with me. And I’m serious. Now I’ve got to go. Bye, y’all.”
“I have it all worked out,” answered Kacie.
“Bye. Bye.” said Layla and Kacie. The three of them hung up the phone.
Layla checked her light makeup and added a dab of her favorite cologne that Envy had bought her for her birthday. She restyled her hair and put on a pair of hoop earrings and a different sweater top. The time flew quickly. Before she had a chance to settle down, there was a knock at the door. It was Envy and they set out to pick up Kacie, and then out for the evening’s events.
Kacie was standing in the door when Envy pulled up with Layla in the car. Kacie locked the door behind her and joined her friends and got inside the Saturn.
“First stop, a restaurant somewhere close to the Orpheum please. I am starving,” Envy told the other two girls. Kacie agreed right away, while Layla merely nodded.
“Guess what?” Layla said to them on the way to the restaurant. “I found out that the postman who brought that package a few weeks ago to my old apartment is the regular mail carrier in my new complex. Now how weird is that? I can watch his fine butt every time he delivers the mail. And you better believe the brother’s got it all. Well groomed, dark hair, hickory bronze skin, features so perfect that he looks too good to be a man.” Layla laughed. She opened a piece of sugarless gum and popped it in her mouth.
Kacie leaned over a little toward the front so she could see Layla’s face.
“Then the brother has a smooth lined beard, and when he talks, he shows off a pair of even teeth. Oooh weee. What did Marvin Gaye used to say…Mercy, mercy, me?”
“Have you stepped to him?” asked Envy.
“What do you mean by, stepped to him?” Layla shook her head disapprovingly.
“You are still green as grass, Layla,” Kacie added. “What she means is have you flirted with the man or let him know you have some liking for him?”
“Are y’all crazy? I’m not about to come on to my postman. I wouldn’t know where to start anyway.” Layla’s face suddenly turned bleak.
Envy ignored Layla’s change of expression and instead threw her head backward and laughed until it spread to Kacie. “If that’s all you’re worried about, let me fill you in on how to get a man’s attention. “
Envy began rattling off a list of what to do to impress a man. “Pinpoint the time he usually delivers the mail. Make yourself visible. Not all the time, but every so often, you can just happen to be outside when he pulls up in his mail truck,” she said as she made a right turn on red. “And of course, don’t sound too forward or act like you’re desperate. Just be nice, cordial, and please don’t come outside in one of those over sized dusters you wear when you’re at home.” Envy curled her eyes up in her head.
“Shoot, I know she better know better than to do something like that,” Kacie said and rolled her neck.
Envy cruised until she found a parking space on a side street close to the Orpheum and Beale Street. They walked along Beale and settled on B.B. Kings Blues Café.
The hostess sat them at a table near the window while the three of them continued to talk and search the menus. Layla swished in her chair and looked at each of her friends like she was frightened to death.
The waitress came and took their orders and Layla started talking after she left with their orders.
“Y’all are really scaring me. Maybe I’m making a fool of myself, thinking that I can get somebody like him.”
“Look, Layla. Don’t start that mess tonight. Get over it already,” blurted Envy. “Don’t start acting like you’re all insecure and self-conscious. No man wants a woman who doesn’t feel good about herself.”
Kacie spoke up. “Yeah, Envy’s right. You think just because you’re overweight that you’re not attractive? We’re sick of that lame excuse.” Kacie’s temper flared. “First of all, if you don’t like yourself the way you are, then do something about it other than stick fast food and fried chicken in your mouth. That’s all you do is tear yourself down.” Curses poured from Kacie’s mouth, but she couldn’t stop. She was on a roll. “I’m tired of holding back and trying to pacify you. Either you love yourself like you are, or you do what it takes to change it. Either way, I, for one, am sick of your whining and insecurity.”
Layla stiffened at the sound of Kacie’s words.
Envy’s eyes loomed large. “Kacie, that’s enough,” she said in a critical tone. Deep down she may have agreed with Kacie, but the way she’d said it was totally unacceptable. “We do not belittle our friends. You, of all people, should know better.” Envy clenched her mouth tighter while Layla turned away from both of them in an effort to fight away tears.
Layla, without warning, jumped to her feet and exclaimed, “No need to chastise her, Envy. She’s right. Everything she said is right.” She spoke soft enough so that no one else in the restaurant could hear her. “I am fat. I mean, how can I forget that? I have to deal with it every day. Sure I’ve lost a few pounds since my surgery, but the fact remains that I’m still a big girl. Everyone in my family is fat. We’ve always loved to eat. There wasn’t a day that passed that my mother wasn’t cooking us three huge meals a day and that didn’t include the snacks we had.”
Layla eased back down in her chair but her words continued without pause. “I try to love myself just the way I am. I tell myself over and over again that God made me this way, and if anyone wants me, they’ll have to accept me just the way I am.” Tears fell, blinding her eyes and choking her voice. “But it’s hard to deal with. Seeing the postman, Dennis…and having him be so nice to me aroused me.”
Kacie and Envy both reached across the table and took hold of Layla’s trembling hands.
“There is just something about him,” Layla continued. “Nothing like anything with Mike. This man, without touching me, made a tingling go through my stomach. I mean, y’all just don’t know.” This time, Layla smiled. “He looked like a gift from God, perfect in every way. Devastatingly appealing. A ripple effect. Bold looking, black as midnight eyes. Barry White voice. Hershey bar colored skin. Oh, my gosh. I can’t help but think about him every day all day.”
“Kacie, I think this girl’s got it bad,” advised Envy, and her smile broadened. She petted Layla on the back. “Looks like it’s time for the three of us to go on our shopping excursion.”
When their food arrived, they ate and exchanged lighter conversation.
After eating, they paid the tab and proceeded to the downtown stores. Layla was glad that she’d fixed a few heads of hair earlier in the week. She may not have had her cosmetology license, but she could hook up a sister’s hair when she wanted to. Using the money she had made to purchase nice, sexy outfits for herself, however, was something new for Layla.
Layla was especially crazy about an eye-catching V-neck dress with the collar turned up and elbow length sleeves with single-button cuffs. The A-line silhouette showed off her curvaceous full figure in a pleasing sort of way. Kacie helped her choose a pair of satin slings and a textured clutch to go along with the dress while Envy looked around the store for other outfits.
“Hey, come over here, Layla. Check this out, girl. This is gorgeous. You can wear this when you go on your first date with Mr. Postman.” Envy waved her hand to call Layla over to where she stood.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with the two of you.” Layla giggled out loudly. “I don’t even know the man like that, and he certainly doesn’t know me, and here I am buying new clothes like a fool.”
“You’re no fool,” snapped Envy. “Whether you go out with this Dennis the postman, some other man, or no man, you’re doing this for you. Remember that.” Envy pointed her finger at Layla and pursed her lips.
“You’re right again. And I have to admit that I feel like I’ve been awakened, that I’ve come to life for the first time since God knows when. And I owe it all to the both of you.” She reached out toward Kacie and Envy and they shared a group hug.
“Okay, okay. Enough. Look at this.” Envy removed a stunning black three-piece pantsuit from the hanger. The button front duster was sheer with hanging lace appliqués and a handkerchief hem. It was complemented by a square neck tank, and the matching pull-on pants had an elastic waist.
“Oh, it is hot. I love it. I can’t believe it. But how will I look in either of the outfits you guys chose?”
“Great,” Kacie encouraged her. “Go try them on. Then come out and model each one of them for us. You know we aren’t going to tell you a lie.”
Layla followed their suggestions. Each outfit made her face glow like a cluster of stars. She felt her level of confidence soaring above the clouds, and the smile that filtered her face was irreplaceable. After listening to Kacie and Envy’s oohs and ahhs, Layla purchased the outfits, plus matching shoes and accessories.
After visiting almost every store that sold plus size wear, Layla came out of the stores satisfied with the outfits and lingerie she’d chosen. Leaving the last of the stores, the three of them sang, “Hey, wait a minute Mr. Postman…Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Postman.” Between singing, they laughed, ignoring the weird looks some people gave them.
“Thank y’all for the best time ever,” Layla told them. She paused before going to the passenger’s side of Envy’s car. “I just thought about something.”
“What is it? We are not going back in there and buying that red thong,” Envy teased.
Layla and Kacie burst out in laughter too. “You know better than that. Kacie said she had something important to tell us. But then we started talking about me and forgot all about you, Kacie.” Layla turned and looked at her friend and Envy stood frozen in the front of her car door.
“Hey, there’s plenty of time for what I have to tell y’all. Come on, we don’t want to be late for the play,” insisted Kacie.
They placed Layla’s packages in Envy’s trunk, and then they made the short walk to the Orpheum.
During The Color Purple, the three friends laughed and cried during the Broadway play. Once it ended, they proceeded to leave the Orpheum and continued to talk about it.
“Y’all, I’m telling you, Harpo was a good looking brotha, totally unlike the one who played Harpo in the movie version.”
“Yes, indeed. He was that. And Sophia acted her butt off,” Layla added as they walked down Main Street.
“My favorite was Shug Avery. She really played her part well. And the church ladies had it going on.” Kacie laughed along with her friends, then added, “Envy, thanks again for inviting us. Your job sure has some good perks.”
Envy smiled and said, “That’s what friends are for. My company sponsors the section where we were sitting, which means we always get tickets to the shows. It’s just that I can’t get them all the time. Non management employees have the same opportunity as management does. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise. It’s still early yet. Come on, y’all, let’s go walk back down Beale and have a nightcap,” suggested Envy.
“I don’t think so,” Kacie said. “It’s already late, and I need to get home to the kids. But y’all can come and hang out over my house. I have some wine coolers in the fridge.”
Envy and Layla stopped at the same time and gave Kacie an evil stare.
“Dang, I hate it when you do that, Kacie. You said you were going to get a babysitter,” said Layla with a frown on her face. “How many times do we have to remind you that a thousand things can go wrong when you leave small kids at home by themselves?”
“Look, I told y’all I wasn’t going to miss this play. Plus, I don’t do it all the time. I don’t wanna hear lectures tonight, Layla.” Kacie walked ahead of them.
“You know she’s right though, Kacie.” Envy pushed her eyeglasses up on her nose. “And there’s no use in lying because you know you do it all the time.”
Kacie did her usual wave of the hand and started to talk about her favorite part of the play again. The friends quickly went from frowns to chuckles as they talked about the Broadway show. Layla even got a chance to talk a little bit about her lunch proposal from Dennis. The ladies arrived at the car and immediately got in. Envy struck out to take Kacie home so she could check on her kids.
When they got there, Kacie unlocked the door and found the kids still awake in the living room watching Pirates of the Caribbean III for what was probably the tenth time since she’d bought them the DVD. Keshena was laid out asleep on the couch, one leg hanging off the pillow. Kassandra sat in the corner of the sofa while Kenny and Keith lay on the floor with their heads resting in their heads.
“Kenny, where are Kali and Kendra?” Kacie’s voice was stern.
“In their room. They’re sleep,” Kenny replied without taking his eyes off the television.
“Well, y’all turn that television off and go to bed. Me, Layla, and Envy are going to chill for a minute.”
“Hey, you guys,” Layla said first as the kids slowly moved from their stilled positions.
“Hello, Auntie Layla. Hi, Aunt Envy.” They spoke one by one.
Kassandra picked up Keshena like she was her baby, and carried her to the bedroom with her. The baby didn’t wake up at all.
Kacie went to the kitchen and pulled out a six pack of wine coolers. They gathered around the table and the ladies continued where they’d left off in the car.
“Tell us about what’s going on with you, Envy,” Kacie suggested as she sat the coolers on the table, not taking one for herself.
Layla opened her cooler and took a swig of the ice cold liquid. “Yeah, you always playing the field, but you don’t ever seem to be trying to settle down.”
Envy’s eyes evaded Layla and Kacie. “I don’t know what y’all talking about.” She cracked a slight smile. “I’m not getting involved and falling head over heels for some man. I don’t care how fat his bank account is or how good he looks. Nice conversation, a light dinner and dancing, and that’s it.” She followed up with a gulp of her cooler too.
“Don’t you ever…you know?” Layla hunched over and rested her elbow on the table and the side of her face in her hand. An unwelcomed blush popped out on her chubby cheeks.
“Ever what? Cat got your tongue now?” Kacie pressed.
“Leave her alone, Kacie. You and I both know what she’s asking. Do I ever want some? Is what you want to know? Like do I ever have the desire to make love to a man?” Envy spoke confidently. “Of course I do. And when I feel like that, then I take action.”
Kacie, surprised at Envy’s bold response said, “Oooh, Lawd have mercy. No you didn’t just say that.” Both Kacie and Layla threw their heads back and exploded in laughter.
“I sure did. The truth is the truth. Men do it all the time. They hit it and quit it. So I figure, why can’t I do the same? I mean, it’s not like I do it often; just every now and then.” Envy added that lie because men came in and out of her humble abode like roaches commuting from one apartment to the next.
Layla’s burst of laughter stopped as suddenly as it had started. “But let’s get serious for a minute here. We profess to be Christians. None of us have the freedom to use our bodies the way we want to. We’re supposed to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God.”
“Preach, girl; tell her all about it.” Kacie wound a finger through her hair.
Envy crooked her neck to the side, tilted her glasses down, and focused her gaze on Kacie. “I know you aren’t saying amen to anything. You probably have asked God for so much forgiveness for all the children you got that it’s one of the longest on God’s list of prayers to answer.”
“Ha ha.” Kacie faked the laugh. “I could care less what any of y’all think. God knows my heart. And I am a Christian, so don’t try to judge me. And another thing…so what if I have children with no good daddies. It’s not my fault.”
“Not your fault?” Envy bucked her eyes at Kacie. “Are you crazy? Don’t you know that if you’re going to mess around with every Tom, Dick, and Harry…and Harry’s brother, then you should at least use some form of birth control, stupid?” Envy’s anger was obvious. “Better yet, you need to stop having sex altogether ‘cause you know you’re a baby hatching machine.” Envy scorned her.
“Look, we’re not here to argue, y’all,” interrupted Layla. “God knows we’re human and we’re carnal minded. I wasn’t trying to be judgmental anyway; all I was saying is that we need to exercise more control and discipline over our bodies. When Dennis asked me to have lunch today, I can tell you that I felt like I wanted to lie right on the concrete pavement and say, ‘Here I am, baby, signed, sealed delivered, I’m yours,’” Layla sang.
The girls giggled again and calmness returned to the table.
“That is too funny, Layla,” remarked Envy. “And Kacie, don’t take things so seriously. We’ve all done wrong, and we all have some dirt in our lives. I know I do. And maybe I don’t have kids and baby daddies running around, but I kid you not, like I said, I have had more than my share of sleeping partners.”
“I can’t talk either,” Layla added. “Mike didn’t just come over once or twice a month for money.”
Kacie and Envy appeared stunned. It was the first time they’d heard Layla admit that Mike came to see her for money.
“I gave Mike money. He gave me sex. I hate what I became with him. Nothing more than a whore. And when he couldn’t use me anymore, he wanted to see me sprawled out on the pavement, dead.” Tears that crested in Layla’s eyes streamed down her face and on to the table.
Envy teared up as well. “It’s all right, Layla.” The friends embraced her with love.
“Yeah, you have needs too. And sometimes we get caught up when we don’t mean to. Next thing you know, we find ourselves in a vicious cycle with no idea of how to get out of it.” Kacie’s eyes darkened with emotion. “So don’t feel bad about yourself or what you’ve done. God has given you the strength to move past what happened with Mike.”
“Yeah, and who knows? Dennis might be the one to show you the brighter side of life and maybe even love,” Envy encouraged her. “But whether he does or not really shouldn’t even matter because God has you, me, and Kacie. He loves us. That’s what Mrs. Rawlings tells me, and I believe it. I just wish I had better control over me.”
“But today, there are very few people walking around who haven’t indulged in some form of sex outside of marriage. Even preachers. What do we do? Men don’t even want to fool with you unless you give up the booty,” Kacie said and plopped both hands on the table.
Layla looked at Envy, then Kacie and said, “Thank, y’all. That’s why I love you two. You’re always here for me.”
“And the same goes here,” Kacie remarked. “Which brings up what I wanted to tell you. But you have to promise that what I’m about to say doesn’t go outside of this room because no one other than the two of you will know about it until I decide to tell someone else.”
“Okay, okay, you know you never have had to tell us to keep a secret so don’t act like you do now,” Envy reminded her and took a swallow of her cooler.
Layla added, “Come on, tell us. I’m tired of the anticipation. When is the wedding?”
“I hope it’s soon, but that’s not it.” Her eyes were radiant. She gracefully stood from her seat and looked at her friends. Sighing with a smile, Kacie said, “I’m thirteen weeks pregnant with Deacon’s baby.” She patted her belly lightly.
Layla stared blankly at Kacie with her mouth open. Envy remained mute with a mask of stone replacing an earlier smile.
“Okay? What’s wrong here? I don’t hear any congratulations.” Kacie strolled slowly around the table with her arms folded.
“Congratulations? Fool, are you crazy or on drugs? Did you just hear what we were talking about? What is wrong with you? What makes you think me, or Layla for that matter,” Envy removed her eyeglasses and looked at Layla, “would even think of being happy about your butt being pregnant? You know what? You’re really a work of art. A stupid work of art at that.”
Envy jumped up from the chair, threw her hands up in the air and turned toward the door. “Layla, you coming or what? Because I am not going to stay here and listen to this stupid, ignorant, fool one minute longer. Then she got the nerve to talk about God this and God that. You’re nothing but a hypocrite. An outright fool.”
“Wait just a minute. Who are you calling a hypocrite and a fool?” Kacie stepped up in Envy’s face. “Just who do you think you are? You’re the last one that should be judging me or anybody else.”
“Wait up, y’all.” Layla stood also and moved in the middle of the heated argument. Look, Kacie, all Envy is trying to say is that you and Deacon haven’t made a commitment to each other. What does he have to say about it? Is he going to marry you?”
“I…I haven’t told him yet,” she said with her head slightly down.
Envy chuckled hysterically. “I bet you haven’t. I want to know how long this so called man from God is going to hang around, let alone marry your crazy butt when he finds out you’re pregnant. I guess you don’t realize that forty-five percent of black women with children are unmarried? What makes you think you’re going to be the one that tilts the statistics, especially with your track record and with six million children growing up in single parent homes?” Envy spoke angrily. “You don’t even take care of the six that you already have. The taxpayers do,” she yelled.
Layla chastised her softly. “Kacie, you need to tell Deacon. I mean, how do you know he wants a child? You have six kids, Kacie. Six.” Layla held up six fingers. “This just isn’t right. It wasn’t a wise decision on yours or Deacon’s part.”
“I know how many children I have,” Kacie yelled back. “I don’t need y’all talking to me like I’m one of ‘em. Y’all don’t know what you’re talking about anyway. Deacon loves me, and we are going to get married. I’m telling him about the baby tomorrow. Then I want to see your cracked faces. Things are different this time. God sent me this man. He’s decent, he’s kind, and he treats me and my children well,” Kacie cried.
Envy got even closer in Kacie’s face.”What do you call treating you well, Kacie? I guess you think treating you well means bringing you a sausage and biscuit sandwich when he comes over here in the morning for a quickie before he goes to work. And when has he ever tried to form a relationship with the kids you already have? What has he done to help with them or to take time to spend with them since he’s so good to you?” Envy jerked her hand back like she was about to strike Kacie. Kacie moved in closer, and as upset as she was, she almost lost her balance.
“I’m so sick and tired of y’all bashing me and downing me. Just go. Get out of my house. Right now.” Kacie walked to the door and yanked it open.
Envy rolled her eyes. “With pleasure. Let’s go, Layla.”
Layla followed Envy in silence with tears in her eyes.
“You’re pitiful, Kacie. And you have the nerve to give advice to Layla. Seems to me you need to look in the mirror and learn to love yourself for who you are and for how God made you.” Envy turned around and pounced out of the door. Layla followed.
The sound of the door slamming behind them shook Layla’s nerves. Envy mumbled unmentionables.
Once in the car and driving off, Envy couldn’t hold back her feelings about Kacie. “Layla, I know you want to be the nice and sensible one, but even you have to admit that the broad must’ve lost her marbles. Pregnant? This will make seven children, No father…or should I say fathers, in her case.”
“I don’t understand her either. But I’m praying that Deacon really loves her. I hope to God that he wants this child.” Layla massaged her forehead with her hand. “This is too much to take in for me. I think Kacie has low self-esteem. It has to be hard living with the crippling effects of cerebral palsy. It has to be hard having to deal with the way some people stare at her. And she told us more than once how much kids used to tease her when she was growing up. Shoot, Envy, I don’t have cerebral palsy or a house full of kids, but I’m self conscious because I’m fat. Not just fat, but obese. And it hurts. It makes me feel bad.”
“Your issue is totally different. You come from a family of obesity, which means your obesity can be inherited. But you can do something about it if you exercise, change your diet and work on yourself and your health. And that’s exactly what you’ve been doing. You should congratulate yourself for having lost weight. I know it came by means of a horrible crime against you, but you’re making it work for you, Layla. You’re not walking around like you used to do having a pity party. But Kacie having baby after baby by one man after another, does not do anything to improve her self-esteem issues. It makes her look like a slut, plain and simple. I don’t feel sorry for her anymore. And she’s sleeping with men as they say, in the raw and getting pregnant. Dang, Layla, she doesn’t care enough about herself to insist that he uses protection. It’s downright stupid. Aids and HIV and all other STDs are spreading like wildfire in the Black community.” Obviously disgusted, Envy shook her head, drew in a deep, unsteady breath, and pushed her eyeglasses up on her face.
“We have to pray for her, Envy. Only God can help her.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, but God has His work cut out for Him.”
Once they arrived at Layla’s apartment, the two of them sat silently in the car for seconds. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for taking us to the play and for bringing me home.”
“Yeah, sure,” remarked Envy sullenly.
Layla and Envy got out of the car and Envy helped Layla with her packages. Envy sat the packages inside the door, and Layla closed the door and disappeared behind the door of her apartment.
Envy attached her Bluetooth to her ear and dialed a number on her cell phone before pulling off and going in the direction of home.
“Hey, what’s up?” Envy asked the person on the other end of the cell phone. “I need some company tonight. You game?” She listened at the reply from the person on the other end. “I thought you would be. Be at my place in forty five minutes,” she commanded and clicked her Bluetooth.
Envy rushed home, walked Fischer, and checked on Mrs. Rawlings’s house one last time. Hopefully Mrs. Rawlings would be discharged tomorrow. After her tasks were done, Envy bathed and waited on her playmate for the night.
×
In her room, Kacie flopped down on her bed and cried. Stains of scarlet swollen eyes magnified until the phone’s familiar ringtone.
“Hey, sugar plum.” Deacon’s voice soothed her.
“Hi.”
“How was the play?”
“Oh, it was good. Layla and Envy just left.” She sniffled. “They came over after the play and had a couple of coolers. I was just about to hit the sack. Unless you’re coming over here,” she managed to say while she wiped the last few tears from her eyes.
“I wish I could, but I’m beat. It’s been a long day. I hung out with the boys, shot some hoops, and played a few rounds of pool, something I haven’t been able to do in quite a while. I just wanted to tell you that I miss you.” He sent a kissing sound over the phone.
Kacie almost cried again. “I miss you too.” She paused. “Deacon?”
“Yeah, baby?”
Kacie hesitated. “I will see you tomorrow, won’t I?”
“I plan on it. I have a meeting at the church at one o’clock, and then I have a few errands to run. So we’ll see how it goes. I told the boys I might meet them again tomorrow afternoon for a rematch at the hoops.” Deacon laughed.
“Just call me and let me know. But first, I want to ask you something, and please don’t get upset,” Kacie added.
“What is it?”
“Deacon, we’ve been together almost five months, and I still haven’t been to your place, nor do I have your home number; just your cell.”
“Baby, please don’t start this again.” His voice sounded disapproving of her questioning.
“I’ve told you more than once that it doesn’t make sense for me to have a home phone. My cell phone is my home phone, my business phone and my social phone. As for visiting my apartment, I don’t see what the big deal is. But if it will make you happy, I’ll bring you over real soon. I don’t like it when you get upset with me,” he said in a tender voice.
“You’re right, and I’m sorry for bringing it up. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“You must mean something about it, because you’re hassling me about it.” His voice turned from tender to rough. As for coming over to my place, I haven’t pushed that because of your kids. I know it’s hard getting a babysitter all the time. I don’t mind paying and you know I’ve done that several times. But why pay a babysitter when you have a nice place? And when the kids are asleep, hey, we make our own fun.” He removed some of the edge from his voice. “Do you really think I enjoy disappointing you time and time again? My job is so stressful, Kacie. I can’t seem to get from under it. I know this isn’t the time to tell you, but going out Friday night is off. I know you’re probably sick and tired of me making plans with you, and then having to go back and renege on them, but my boss insists that me, him, and two other executives spend Friday night and probably Saturday morning catering to three executives coming here from Japan. I didn’t want to tell you, especially when I call and you jump all over me. I know how much you wanted to go see that new play, and I’m sorry.
“Deacon, everything you’ve said is right. Please, forgive me, baby. I’m just feeling lonely for you tonight. I should know better. You work hard and being an executive for a large corporation isn’t easy. It’s me. I’m being unreasonable.”
“Look, I tell you what I’ll do.”
“What?” Kacie asked in a sorrowful voice.
“I’m going to fix dinner for you – at my place. Just give me a few days so I can make sure I don’t have to go out of town for work, or have anything that will interrupt us. Okay? Does that make my baby feel better?”
“Oh, Deacon. Are you serious?” she asked happily.
“Have I ever lied to you?” he asked.
“No.”
“Well, it is what it is,” he said. “I don’t ever want you to be angry with me. I promise I’ll try to do better. Just tell me that you forgive me.”
Immediately, her uncertainty subsided. “I love you, Deacon. I love you so much. And I forgive you.” Relief filled her. She would show Envy and Kacie how wrong they were about Deacon.
“I know you do, baby. Now look, I’m about to pull up to the apartment. I’m going to hit the shower and then jump in bed and dream about you. I want you to sleep well and have dreams about me too.”
Kacie went to bed and almost on cue, she drifted off to sleep and began to dream about her and Deacon and their bundle of joy. He was with her in labor and delivery, encouraging her, wiping the sweat from her brow, kissing her face, and telling her over and over again just how much he loved and adored her.
At her apartment, Layla prepared for bed. She felt mild effects from the wine cooler. Drinking was something she didn’t make a practice of doing, but having a cooler every now and then wasn’t a sin in Layla’s book. When she finished undressing, Layla noticed the flickering light on her answering machine. Unlike Kacie and Envy, she didn’t own a cell phone. She had six messages. Three from her mother, calling to make sure she was doing all right, and one of the messages was to see if she had made it home yet. The fourth message was from her brother who said he was just calling to chat with her since he hadn’t talked to her in a few days. The fifth message was the choir director reminding her about the special choir rehearsal Saturday morning. But it was the last call that made her stumble and fall back on the bed, breathless with excitement.
“Layla, hi. It’s Dennis. You know, the postman? I guess you’re probably out with your girls, or your man.” He snickered lightly into the receiver. “I hope you’re having a great time. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed talking to you today. Have a good night. And if you have caller ID, this is my home number that I’m calling from, so if you want to talk when you get in, hit a brother up. If you don’t, then I’ll understand. I hope to talk to you and maybe I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep tight.”
Layla hit the delete button five times, only saving Dennis’s message. She picked up the phone to dial his number, but had second thoughts. “I don’t want to come off like I’m desperate. I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” she said.
Getting down on her knees, she prayed a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude. She sent up a special prayer for her friends. When she climbed in the bed, she turned over and picked up the phone to let her mother know that she was safe and at home. Then she called her brother and talked to him for almost an hour until her eyes became droopy and her voice slurred from tiredness. Just before dozing off, she thanked God one last time before smiling herself to sleep.
While Kacie was at home probably crying about Deacon, and Layla was enjoying the newness of having someone interested in her, Envy was at her apartment fighting off the psychological line her guest was trying to lay on her. She had her own faults…that much was true, but being stupid like Kacie, Envy was not. She was not about to be any man’s fool. She called the shots.
“I don’t need you trying to get all serious with me. It is what it is,” Envy explained to her gentleman guest.
“Why do you treat me like this? I got feelings for you. Real feelings, Envy,” Leonard confessed. He sounded like he was pleading, and it caused Envy to shut down her heart even more.
“Look, I’ve told you time and time again that I’m not the serious kind. I don’t believe in falling in love, and I don’t want a commitment. You don’t have to take care of me, and you don’t have to wine and dine me. All I want is just what I got. I’m satisfied, and I know you’re definitely satisfied,” she said with the voice of a kitten and the stance of a lion.
He stepped forward, reaching out toward Envy just as she moved away. “Come on, it’s late and way past my curfew for visitors,” she said sarcastically. “You’ve got to go.”
He stiffened like she had prodded him with a branding poker. The executive put on his designer clothes, stepped into his soft leather shoes, and slowly, like a whipped puppy, followed Envy to the door with Fischer wagging his tail beside Envy.
“I don’t understand you,” said Leonard angrily. “One minute you’re ringing my number off the hook. Then you want to use me to satisfy your sexual needs. There are other times you’ve called and I’ve listened to you, Envy. Listened to you like a true friend. You mean a lot to me, girl. I only hope you allow the ice around your heart to melt before it’s too late.
Without emotion, she replied, “Thanks.” Envy opened the front door. “Drive safely.” She said, and quickly closed and locked the door behind him. While she showered, Fischer laid on the bathroom floor. Following her routine, she removed the soiled sheets and replaced them with fresh ones. Fischer jumped on the bed and cuddled at the foot of the bed while Envy pulled up the covers to her neck, said her prayers while she lay in the bed and then swiftly drifted off to sleep.