November 28, 2006
You have to hand it to Stephen Harper—the man is on a roll.
The Tories like to say that Harper is good at his job because, above all else, he is a master chess player. In one bold move, he stood up in the House of Commons, embarrassed the Bloc and protected his own seats in Quebec. And all he had to do was table a simple motion that says that from now on, the Government of Canada recognizes that the Québécois form a nation inside a nation.
So all you kids in grade three can forget what you just learned about Canada being ten provinces and three territories. We are now nine provinces, three territories and a nation inside a nation.
When you write this down, kids, you might want to use a pencil. Because there’s going to be a lot more nations to learn about. Take the Cree in Quebec. Clearly, they’re a nation. Well, actually, they’re a nation inside a nation inside a nation. Imagine you are a Cree person who is gay, who cheers for the Blue Jays and who lives in Montreal. You’d be a member of the Cree nation, you’d hang out in the Queer nation, you’d cheer along with the rest of the Blue Jays nation and you’d live in the Quebec nation, which just happened to be inside the Canadian nation.
Yes, Harper is clearly a great strategist. But he obviously did not grow up in a huge family. Because if he did, he would know that, sure, some kids get away with more than others, some kids even get special treatment, but there is not a hope in hell that Mom will ever stand up and recognize one child as her favourite. No special status. And why? Because Mom knows that if she ever put that in writing—say, in a birthday card—it’s exactly the type of thing that could destroy the entire works.
So whip-de-do-da-day, Stephen Harper plays a mean game of chess. But I hope he realizes Canada is not a board game but a nation. And we only have one to lose.