Chapter 38

Rachel walked slowly to the little barn behind the house. Her Englisch clothes now hung in her closet. Her next job was to make room for her car in the barn.

Again that strange pressure filled her chest as she looked her future in the face.

She’d made her choice. The truth was she’d made her choice the first time she’d gone to Max’s as an adult to use her computer. She just hadn’t realized it then.

“Hey, Rusty.” She walked to her horse who was moving around his stall in an agitated manner. “What’s wrong?”

Rusty was an intelligent animal as proven by the rein game, but surely he couldn’t catch her conflicting emotions from this distance. He nickered and shook his head.

“Easy, boy. It’s okay. You’ll like it at Mom and Datt’s. Levi will make you a cowboy horse.”

He wouldn’t, of course. Rusty was trained to the traces, not to the saddle. For Levi to be the cowboy he dreamed about, he needed a horse trained to be ridden, not easy to find in Amish country.

Rachel reached to open the stall door when a man suddenly stood inside the stall, shocking her. Scaring her. She fell back a step and grabbed her heart.

“It’s only me. Don’t be afraid.”

Johnny had straw in his hair and his clothes were dirty and wrinkled. Dark circles made arcs beneath his eyes, and the bruises on his face from the beating in the parking lot had turned pale yellow and green. Even from where she stood he reeked.

“You scared me to death!” Anger replaced the startled fear.

He held out a placating hand. “I didn’t mean to.”

That was Johnny’s trouble. He never meant to do anything. “Why are you hiding in my barn?”

In her mind’s eye she saw a man with broad shoulders and an abundance of muscles, and she thought she knew.

His shoulders hunched in. “I had to hide somewhere.” He peered over her shoulder to the barn door. “Are you alone?”

“Of course I’m alone.”

Relief flowed from him. “Good. Now just forget you saw me.”

“I’m to walk away as if I never saw you and leave you here with Rusty?”

“You have to. No one can know I’m here.”

“I don’t plan to tell anyone, but you still can’t stay here. You can’t hide in my barn.”

“Come on, Rachel. I won’t bother anything.”

“Johnny, this is crazy.”

“It’s as good a place as any until I figure out how to get away.”

Running from his problem. Was that a Miller family trait? She’d been running from hers, denying it, for so long. “How long have you been here?”

“Since Saturday.”

She stared at him. “You’ve been keeping Rusty company since yesterday?”

He shrugged as if bunking with a horse was a normal thing.

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you where my missing meat loaf went?”

“And some bread and cheese and I boiled myself some eggs while you were out.” He grinned, suddenly proud. “I put the pan back so you wouldn’t know.”

“Johnny! Why didn’t you just come into the house? I mean like a real person, not a thief?”

“I didn’t want to put you and Amy at risk. What if they came looking for me? They’d come to the house, and if I was out here, you could say honestly that you didn’t know where I was, and they’d go away. They wouldn’t look back here.”

Rachel wasn’t so sure. If she was looking for someone, she’d look everywhere including barns and basements.

“They’re bad guys who are after me, Rachel. Bad.”

She believed that. “Why’d you get mixed up with them in the first place? You know better.”

“It was a sure thing.” He looked like he still couldn’t believe things hadn’t gone as he expected. “Even he thought it was a sure thing.”

“Who is he that you need to get away from and where do you plan to go?”

“It’s really one man. The others just do what he says. And I’ll go to California. He’ll never find me there. It’s big.”

Who won’t find you? I want a name, Johnny, a name.” Though what she’d do with the information, she didn’t know.

“Mr. Sherman.”

Rachel waited for more, but that seemed to explain it all for Johnny. “Is he a big guy with too many muscles?”

Johnny turned paler than his already pasty look. “How do you know about him?”

“He’s been around several times. He gave me the creepiest feeling.”

“Well, he can’t bother you anymore.”

“Good.”

Johnny shuddered. “He’s dead.”

The bubble of tension that sat in her chest and had eased slightly because she’d made her personal choices expanded like a balloon being inflated. “What happened?”

Johnny looked like he wanted to cry. “We were just standing there and boom! He got shot. He—” Johnny swept his arm down and stared at the ground. He wrapped his arms around himself.

The fake shootings of the movie flashed and Rachel couldn’t imagine seeing the real thing. “You’re sure he was dead?”

“Oh, yeah.” Johnny turned green again. “Absolutely sure.”

Rachel studied her brother, still staring at the ground, at a place only he saw. “Do you know who did it? Did you see the shooter?”

He shook his head emphatically.

“Then why are you scared? Why are you hiding?”

“Because I know who and I know why.”

“Even though you didn’t see him?”

“Even though I didn’t see him.”

“Mr. Sherman?”

He reached out and put his hand over her mouth in just short of a slap. “Don’t say it, Rachel! It’s not safe.”

She pushed his dirty hand away. “Johnny, there’s no one here but you and me.”

He ignored her comment. “It wasn’t him literally. He sent one of his men.” He looked around as if expecting someone to jump up like a jack-in-the-box. “Thomas. It was probably Thomas.”

“Does Thomas have curly hair?”

Johnny stared at her. “How do you know that?”

“He was here yesterday asking about you.”

“At the house?”

“He stopped me when I was walking.”

Johnny began pacing, and Rusty grew agitated again.

“You can’t stay here in my barn.”

“I have to until it’s safe.”

“You think running away will make you safe?”

“Yes.”

“No.” She made her voice as forceful as she could. “No running. No hiding. You have to do what’s right.”

“And what’s that?” His voice grew sarcastic. “Confess my sin before the Gmay and hope Mr. Sherman doesn’t hear about it?”

Rachel ignored the sarcasm. “You’ve got to go to the police.”

“No. I told you. I’ll get in trouble.”

“Why? What did you do?”

He wouldn’t look at her and had the grace to look embarrassed. “I transported bad stuff.”

“Bad stuff?” What did that mean? “Drugs? What?”

“Yeah, but not bad drugs like cocaine or anything. Steroids.” He pulled a vial out of his pocket. “And passports and birth certificates.” He reached down and grabbed a manila envelope. He held it out to her.

She opened the flap and slid the contents out far enough to see they were indeed birth certificates and little blue books that read United States of America on their covers. She righted the envelope and tried to close the flap. It wouldn’t stick.

“Have you done this transporting much?” she asked.

“Only this one time.”

She felt a keen relief. “Why’d you do it if you knew it was wrong?” She heard the censure in her voice and wasn’t surprised when he got defensive.

“Don’t push, Rachel.”

Her temper flared. “You’re hiding in my barn and you say don’t push? I repeat: Why did you do it if you knew it was wrong?”

His mouth was set in a stubborn line.

“Why, Johnny?” She used the tone that made her students confess whatever had gotten them in trouble. To her amazed relief it worked on Johnny too.

“Because I owe him money, and I can’t pay.”

“I suppose you needed this money for your sure thing?” When he nodded, she continued, “Why didn’t you go to a bank or to Datt or to me?”

“The bank won’t give me money. My credit’s shot. And I would never ask you or Datt.” He sounded scandalized at the idea. “I went to Mr. Sherman because I knew I could pay him back right away.” His voice trailed off.

“Oh, Johnny.” He was such a nice guy, he really was, but he was so easily led by his wild ideas. He really ought to be Amish for the parameters the life would put around him, keeping him safe from himself. Of course, that wasn’t a good reason to take his vows.

“You’re wearing Englisch clothes,” he said all of a sudden.

She looked down at her dark blue blouse and blue flowered skirt. “I am.”

He looked at her with compassion. “They found out.”

She nodded. “They did, but I’d already decided.”

“Mom and Datt?”

Tears burned. “Breaks my heart to hurt them.” But you will always be our daughter. She clutched that comment close.

“Is Rob the reason?”

She smiled at the mention of his name. “Part of the reason. The rest is I’m going to college. I’m going to be a college professor.”

Johnny blinked. “Wow. I’m surprised but I’m not. You always were scary smart.”

Rachel brushed away his comment. “But I’m not the issue at the moment. You are.”

“I have an idea that might fix stuff.” Johnny looked uncertain. “I just thought of it.”

“Me too.” She nodded. “You first.”

“Rob. He knows stuff because of the army.”

“He’ll know what to do,” Rachel agreed. “He knows about things like police. His father’s in jail.”

“I knew that, but do Mom and Datt?”

She shook her head. “They had enough of a shock as it is. And it doesn’t change anything. They know Rob’s a wonderful guy and a Christian.”

“Did that Christian part help Mom and Datt take the news any better?”

“Not really. The fact that you can be non-Amish and every bit as committed to Jesus doesn’t matter. It’s nice, but it’s not like being Amish. It’s not like being right.”

Rachel walked to the barn door. “Come on, Johnny. You need a shower. Let Rusty have his stall back. I’ll drive to your place and get you some clean clothes. And I’ll call Rob.”

Johnny followed her from the barn. “Be careful, Rachel. They’re looking for me because I’ve got the stuff.”

She looked at his empty hands. “Where is it?”

“I hid it in the stall under the straw. Rusty’ll keep it safe.”