SUNDAY AFTERNOON, Drew walked into the motel lobby, Navy at his side, feeling wary.
He’d planned to talk to Ria once she got home from church, figure out what to do about living here and about Kaitlyn’s upcoming release from the hospital. But before he could have that conversation, while he’d been walking Navy, Ria had called out from the motel lobby, asking him to come to some sort of a meeting. He didn’t know who would be there nor what the meeting was about, except that it related to Kaitlyn.
More than anything else in the world, he wanted to help his daughter. He’d committed to stay in town for the next few months at least. But the truth was, he was a disabled stranger in a strange town, with no job. Right at this moment, going into a situation where he didn’t know what to expect... Yeah. He was definitely on edge.
“There’s a couch two feet to your right.” Ria was suddenly standing next to him, and he felt a sharp tingle of awareness. Her slightly husky voice, the flowery perfume she wore—it had always had its effect on him. Plus there was the fact that she was beautiful and didn’t even know it.
Thinking of her beauty stabbed him, because he couldn’t see it. Couldn’t read the expression on her face, couldn’t watch her tilt back her head when she laughed, couldn’t look into her eyes.
The loss pressed down on him, making it hard to breathe.
He sucked in air, pushed the negative thoughts away and sat down, and Ria sat next to him. After a short, quiet bark, Navy settled at his feet. He heard a few voices around him, including that of Ria’s mother, Julie. “Who all is here?” he asked, but Ria was talking to someone else.
There were multiple reasons he didn’t want to stay on at the motel, but Ria was one of them. He’d had to face the fact that he was still attracted to her, but she didn’t want him and didn’t love him. He hadn’t been enough for her when they’d married and he definitely wasn’t enough for her now.
“Okay, everyone,” Julie said, clapping her hands to make the chatter stop. “Thank you for being willing to meet up. We’re all concerned about Kaitlyn and want to make sure she’s fully supported when she comes back home.”
Drew stiffened. Way to leave him out of it. He loved Julie, and she was a wonderful grandmother to the girls, but she could definitely be too take-charge.
She must have read his body language. “Drew, I’m sorry I didn’t discuss this with you first. Ria and I ran into these folks at church and it just came into my mind that we should all meet.”
“Who’s we all? And what about my daughter’s privacy?” He emphasized the my just a little.
Ria squeezed his arm very briefly. “Besides Mom and Mary, who you met before, there’s Trey and Erica here. You’ve probably heard us talk about them. Trey was at the Healing Heroes cottage for a while—he’s a part-time cop in town now but formerly was on the force in Philly. And Erica’s a teacher in the behavior support program at Sophia and Kait’s school.” She paused, then added, “Everyone will respect Kait’s privacy, right, guys?”
There was a chorus of assent.
“Hi, Drew,” came a cultured voice. “It’s Mary. We met in front of my bookstore a few days ago. I’m here because I know everyone in town and am generally considered a good resource.” A soft, thin hand clasped his, briefly, and then there was a snuffling against his leg, the feeling of small paws clawing at his calf, as if a small creature was standing on back legs, propping itself against Drew’s leg. He reached down and encountered fur and a sloppy lick.
“And that’s Baby, my dog. You’ll have to forgive her manners. In dog years, she’s even older than I am.”
He reached a hand down to Navy, making sure the small interloper wasn’t disturbing her or vice versa, but Navy was panting and relaxed. So he rubbed a hand over each dog’s fur and some of his tension eased.
“Here’s the situation,” Ria said to the group. “Kaitlyn told the doctors that she took six sleeping pills because she wanted to get some rest, not because she wanted to end her own life. They believe her, and so she’s coming home tomorrow. But Drew and I aren’t convinced she was telling the truth, nor that she’s going to be able to just reintegrate into her life at home and school so easily.”
“You must be so worried,” said a gentle female voice. That had to be Erica, the teacher. “Anything Trey and I can do to help, we’re happy to.”
“I think the problem has to do with other kids at her school,” Drew said. “Is there another option? Can she switch schools, get a fresh start?”
“There’s nothing that wouldn’t involve a long drive each day,” Ria said. “Which I’m totally willing to do if that’s what we decide, but I’m not sure whether that would be the best.”
“Something could be set up with car pools,” the other man in the room, Trey the cop, said. “But has anyone considered having her enroll in the behavior support program right here in town, at the Academy?”
There was a silence.
“What is the behavior support program?” Drew asked.
“It’s the part of the school where Erica teaches,” Ria said. “For at-risk kids. And I’m not sure Kaitlyn... Well, I’m not sure she qualifies, and I’m not sure whether she’d like it.”
“It’s an interesting idea,” Erica said. “We have students of middle school and high school age. Most of them have some sort of behavioral or social issue—that’s why they’re assigned to our school.”
“But they’re really just kids,” Trey said. “I don’t see why Kaitlyn shouldn’t join in.”
“Because she knows the stigma,” Mary said. “The behavior support kids do mingle with the rest of the students, but there’s also a bit of a dividing line, isn’t there, dear?”
“There is,” Erica said. “And some teasing. But if she’s getting teased already...”
“That’s just it,” Ria said. “The behavior support program is a part of the same school where she’s faced all of these problems. I’m not sure having her there would spare her the teasing.”
“She’d be out of the classroom with the kids who’ve teased her,” Julie said. “That would help.”
“Would she get the education she needs?” Drew asked Erica. “I don’t mean any offense by that, but she’s very bright and needs to be challenged. If it’s a mixed-grade classroom, with some tough kids, is that possible?”
“I’d do my best,” Erica said slowly, “and I do have one other highly gifted student who’d be a good learning partner for her, but my co-teacher and I couldn’t teach her alone. We’d need to find her some extra enrichment, extra projects.”
“There are plenty of things that need done around this town,” Mary said. “Drew, Erica’s class already does a lot of service projects. I could imagine Kaitlyn getting involved in those and more.”
“How would doing extra service projects challenge her?” he asked.
There was a short silence, and Drew wondered if he’d offended Erica. But someone had to ask questions. His daughter’s education, as well as her happiness, deserved attention.
“It’s all in how it’s presented,” Erica said. “There’s background research that goes into each service learning project, and follow-up reports. I already have Rory, that’s my other gifted student, doing some of the work, but he has issues with social skills. Kaitlyn could be a big help, and in the process, she’d be researching, writing, calculating, meeting with people—”
“That would be perfect for Kait,” Julie interrupted, sounding excited. “She’s very practical and she hates busywork. If she saw that the research she was doing had a real-world function, I bet she’d love it.”
“It’s worth running by her, to see what she thinks,” Ria said doubtfully.
“No.” Drew waved a hand. “Let’s don’t run it by her. If that’s what we decide is best, we need to just tell her, not ask her. And she needs to start right away. Sitting around at home, making too many decisions for herself...it can’t be good for her.”
“I have to agree,” Mary said. “She’s young to make her own decisions. And she’d benefit from the protection of being in a familiar environment right now.”
“You and Ria need to talk about it and decide,” Julie said, “but I think it’s a terrific idea. Between that and Drew staying on in town for a while, maybe she can get back on track.”
As everyone talked on, weight lifted from Drew’s shoulders. Helping his daughter wasn’t going to fall solely on him and Ria. This was a good community and people were willing to help.
In fact, listening to them brainstorm made him wonder if maybe they’d help him, too.
He wasn’t good at asking for help, or at least, he hadn’t been in the past. But as his O&M instructor had constantly reminded him, nobody could handle a visual impairment entirely alone. He cleared his throat, and when there was a break in the conversation, he jumped in. “I’m staying in town for a while, like Julie mentioned,” he said, “but I need to find another place to rent. Do any of you know of an apartment that’s available?”
“You can stay here at the motel,” Ria said. There was some kind of tension in her voice. Of course there was. Having him stay here couldn’t be easy.
He wouldn’t inflict that on her. “You need to have full-paying occupancy. And I need a place where I can be independent. Ideally, I need to find work here in town, as well.”
“Hey,” Julie said.
“You know...” Mary said at the same moment.
Then there was a silence. “What?” Drew asked.
“Healing Heroes,” Trey said. “It’s standing empty.” His voice shifted, and Drew could tell Trey was leaning toward him, facing him. “It’s a cottage for disabled cops and their K-9 partners, funded by an anonymous donor. You get a few months to rehabilitate and get your life together, rent free. In exchange, you do some significant volunteer work in the community.”
That sounded an awful lot like charity, and Drew opened his mouth to refuse, but Trey went on talking. “I did it. That’s how I ended up here in Pleasant Shores. I was rehabbing my back after an injury.”
“Tell him about your volunteer work,” Julie urged.
“I worked at the school, in the behavior support program.” Trey’s voice softened. “Had a pretty tough cooperating teacher, but in the end it worked out.”
There was low laughter all around. “His cooperating teacher was Erica, and he married her,” Julie explained. “Is there a need for another volunteer in the Academy?”
“I couldn’t do that,” Drew broke in. “Nope. Not if Kait’s going to go there. Last thing she needs is her father looking over her shoulder.”
Mary cleared her throat, and just like that, everyone quieted. It was obvious that the older woman commanded respect among the others. “Another possibility is the oral history project,” she said. “The historical society has a grant for it, but the intern who was going to do the work just backed out on us.”
“Drew majored in history,” Ria said. “And he’s good with people.”
Her words warmed Drew, but he didn’t want to get into something over his head. Maybe he’d been good with people once, but when he couldn’t see them, connecting was harder. “What kind of people?”
“Mostly the local watermen,” Mary said. “We’re gathering data for a small museum here in town. Trying to capture the lifestyle here before everything goes modern. Sharing information about the bay, the issues it faces—overfishing, pollution, climate change.”
Drew had always loved fishing and the outdoors, and he liked talking to people, got along well with older folks. He sat up straighter, catching the excitement. The possibility that he could work, support himself, felt like a precious gift. And doing something that actually appealed to him was even better.
“I’d be interested to hear more about the job.” He already knew there were services he could get to help him with any employment opportunities he could find. “Meanwhile, is the cottage nearby?”
“It’s my old house, so you’ve been there before,” Julie said. “Remember the beach cottage? I didn’t want to live there anymore after Melvin left, and someone came forward wanting to buy it for the purpose of helping K-9 officers. The condition was that I’d manage it.”
Now Drew remembered hearing something about the whole situation, from the girls. And the idea of living in the little beach cottage, of having that independence... Yeah. It was pretty much perfect, and he said so.
“Call me later this afternoon,” Trey said. “Hand me your phone and I’ll punch in my number. I can show you around the Healing Heroes cottage. Nice place.”
Soon Drew could hear that people were getting up, gathering their things. He felt someone stop in front of him. “It’s Trey. Great to meet you, man. We’ll talk later.”
“And I’m Erica. Just let me know if you have any questions about the school. I’d love to have Kaitlyn in class, and if you and Ria want that to happen, best to get the paperwork started right away.”
Mary and Julie both greeted him on the way out, too, and then it was just him and Ria.
“Do you want to talk about Kait’s schooling now?” he asked Ria.
“You could’ve stayed here, you know,” she said instead of answering his question.
“It wouldn’t be good.”
There was a pause. “Sure, I guess.”
He heard the hurt in her voice. Maybe it was the emotions of the day, but he reached out and pulled her closer, into a hug, patting her back and, he had to admit to himself, enjoying the way she felt there.
Which was the problem. “It’s too hard to be this close together,” he growled into that familiar neck, and he felt her body respond in the way it always did, moving marginally closer and settling perfectly against him.
He’d ached to hold her, and now that he was doing it, the memories flooded him—from the first time he’d kissed her, young and full of bravado, pretending arrogance but secretly afraid, to the last time, when he’d put everything he had into it, hoping to save their marriage.
They stayed that way for a moment, and then she tugged loose. “Maybe it’s better if you do go,” she said.
“Yeah. Listen, let’s both think about this a little and then I’ll give you a call.” He was trying to keep his tone cool, but it wasn’t working.
And, yeah, it would be best to get a little distance on Ria, but that sure wasn’t what he felt like doing.
“I’M NOT GOING to the behavior support class!” Kaitlyn stopped, still, on the front porch of her house, looking from her mother to her father in disbelief. Everything in her rebelled against their ridiculous suggestion. “No way. Forget about it.”
“Come on. Let’s walk and talk.” Her mother started down the steps and then paused. “It’s five steps down,” she said to Dad.
Kaitlyn’s fists clenched. “He knows that.” Why did Mom have to treat Dad like a baby?
Neither of her parents answered; they just waited for her at the bottom of the steps.
She’d gotten home from the hospital earlier today, and already they were on her. She just wanted to take a nap, but they’d insisted she come out and walk and talk with them about something important: apparently, their wacky idea that she should enroll in her own school’s behavior support program.
She walked down the stairs and followed, kicking at stones, as they led the way past the motel and toward the downtown of Pleasant Shores. The sun was trying to shine through a low layer of clouds, which was part of the point: until her newly prescribed meds kicked in, she was to try natural means of improving her mood: exercise and sunlight.
Mom and Dad, trying to be parents of the year, had insisted on this walk-and-talk. Killing three birds with one stone: sunlight, exercise and persuading her to do something that would ruin her life.
“We think the program will be good for you. A fresh start, but where you can still stay in the area.” Mom’s voice had taken on that pleading tone that so annoyed Kaitlyn. Why didn’t Mom just act like a mom?
“Do you think I’m a weirdo? Do you want me to get teased even worse?” She shouldered past them and stomped ahead, her flip-flops flapping. She could almost hear Mom’s effort not to comment on what a stupid choice of footwear she’d made.
So, even though her toes were freezing, she wasn’t going to go back inside for socks and shoes. She led the way toward the edge of town where small cinder-block houses gave way to ponds and creeks surrounded by tall golden-dry grasses. Overhead, a flock of geese flew in a raggedy V, honking and calling to one another.
It sounded like the geese were arguing. But at least they had wings and could fly away.
“Tell us what happened to upset you so badly,” Dad said, speeding up to walk beside her, his cane sweeping back and forth, “and if there’s another way to fix it, we’ll try.”
“Nothing happened.” No way was she telling them about that stupid video. Sophia had somehow gotten the boys to take it down, and she hoped she’d seen the last of it. Hoped not that many of her classmates had seen it, although that was unlikely. Everyone was on their phones 24/7.
The thought of walking into school knowing that half the people there had seen her without a shirt made her stomach heave. She covered the sound with a fake cough and crossed her forearms over her midsection, pressing hard.
“You took an overdose of sleeping pills, Kait!” Her mother sounded impatient. “Something must have happened!”
“It was an accident.” Wasn’t it?
That was what she’d told the counselor, because she’d realized almost immediately that if she said she’d tried to take her own life, she’d be stuck in that hospital, and counseling, forever.
As it was, she was committed to twice a week individual sessions and weekly family counseling. That was bad enough.
She could barely remember what she’d been thinking before swallowing those pills. She only remembered wanting to escape the ugliness of school and the stress of family problems, the severe shortage of friends.
Going to the behavior support program would keep her out of class changes and lunch tables. Or would it? She couldn’t remember where the kids from that section of the school ate lunch. She’d tried to ignore them, had considered them strange.
She lifted her face to the cool breeze. Of course, she was now in the “strange” category, too.
If her new counselor heard her say that, she’d flip. Kaitlyn was to work on positive self-talk, remember her strengths, focus on what was going right.
Which, just now, was nothing.
“Can’t I do cyberschool?” she asked her parents over her shoulder.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Dad had fallen back to walk with Mom, but now he caught up with her again. His cane found a rut in the road, and she reached out to steady him, but he navigated around it easily. That was Dad—easily managing new challenges, good at everything.
“You’d have to be supervised if you were homeschooled,” Mom said, her voice worried, “and I don’t see how—”
“Supervised!” Kaitlyn interrupted, staring at her mother. “Why? I’m not a little kid!”
“You tried to take your own life!”
“Stop saying that! I didn’t!” She caught a glimpse of herself in the window of a parked car and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. She was wearing an old gray hoodie she’d gotten at Goodwill and her only pair of jeans that currently fit. She’d washed her hair but hadn’t curled or straightened it, so it hung down in dampish strings.
No wonder she was being sent to behavior support. She looked like a total freak.
Or like someone who tried to kill herself.
“You did something very risky, at a minimum,” Dad said. “So Mom’s right. If you were to stay home, we’d need for you to be supervised at all times, and besides the fact that no one has time to do that, it wouldn’t be much fun for you. Right?”
She didn’t answer; she just grunted.
“Come on.” He put an arm around her. “Let’s head back into town and go to Goody’s.”
“This can’t be fixed with ice cream!” Mom said. “Besides, one cone from there would take up all my calories for the day.”
Kaitlyn had been about to say something along the same lines, but instantly, she shifted gears. “I’ll go to Goody’s. But I don’t want to go to the behavior support thingy.”
“Do you want to go back to your regular classes?” Mom was walking along beside her now, head down, kicking at leaves along the sidewalk.
“No.” She couldn’t. There was no way. It wasn’t like she had friends at school, not real ones, but going to the behavior support program would be her social death knell.
Well, technically the video had been that, but going to the “special” program would seal her fate.
“You’re not making good decisions,” Dad said, tightening his grip on her shoulders just a little, like a hug. “And that’s why Mom and I aren’t asking you. We’re telling you you’re going to try this behavior support program.”
Some tiny part of her felt relieved at Dad’s stern, strong tone. And yet... “What do you care? You’re leaving,” she said.
“No, I’m not.” He gave her shoulders one final squeeze. “I’m staying in Pleasant Shores.”
Joy bubbled up inside her. “You are? How long?”
“For the foreseeable future. I’ll be at the Healing Heroes cottage.”
The idea of Dad sticking around made her tight shoulders relax. For three seconds. And then she realized that the kids would make double fun of her for having a blind dad. No way would they forget about it if he was in town, in their face, at the school, every day. “You’re volunteering in the behavior support class like Trey did?”
“Nope. I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m going to work on a different volunteer gig.”
“Doing what?”
“I’m not sure yet, and anyway, this conversation is supposed to be about you, not me.”
A truck drove by, and there was a squeal of brakes. “Hey, sexy!” some guy called, and then they squealed off again.
Kaitlyn had no idea who the guy was, but maybe he’d seen her video and recognized her. Or maybe he was yelling at Mom, which happened a lot, too.
“Get his license plate,” Dad said, sounding furious.
“I didn’t see it and they’re gone. Besides...” Mom trailed off, but Kaitlyn took one glance at her and knew exactly what she’d been going to say.
When you looked like they did, you were going to get catcalled. That was life in a 34D body. Mom had talked to her about it in multiple embarrassing conversations over the summer.
What Mom hadn’t anticipated was that Kaitlyn would make an idiotic mistake, responding to a dumb boy’s plea, and get herself videoed doing it.
Kaitlyn’s heart raced and her stomach churned. She moved ahead of her parents again, but they sped up, staying close behind her. She couldn’t escape their worry or their stupid plan.
She had nowhere to go.
This feeling was exactly why she’d taken the pills.
“We’ve already started the paperwork for the behavior support program,” Dad said firmly. “We’d like to have you on board and open-minded. But if you’re not...well, you’re doing it anyway.”
Kaitlyn looked at Mom, who was biting her lip. Mom was the weak point. She could be talked out of it. Kaitlyn had done it a million times.
But if Dad was staying in town, that changed everything.
She probably was going to have to do what they said.
She pictured walking into school and going to the behavior support classroom rather than following her regular eighth-grade schedule. Would it be totally awful, really? She wouldn’t have to worry about getting teased, at least during class time, since it was a small class and closely supervised. Erica, one of the behavior support program’s two teachers, was nice.
Maybe it would be the best option, even though the thought of being in a special class—not honors, but almost the reverse—made her feel like she’d lost all track of who she was.
“When would I have to start?” she asked drearily.
“Erica said she’d try to talk Principal O’Neil into pushing everything through quickly,” Mom said. “You could start as early as Wednesday.”
“Fine,” Kaitlyn said. “I’ll go. But it’ll ruin my life.”