Me & You

Sophie

“Andy?” I call through the intercom system.

Instead of replying, he pops his head through my door. He used to wear a smile when he entered, but for the past few weeks, the mood here has been so sombre, I don’t think any of us have smiled within these walls. Not since Andy told Derek about him being a bonus in our marriage.

“Yes?”

I try to force the corners of my lips upward, but even with all of my effort, the right side of my mouth reaches a neutral position. The left is stuck in a permanent frown, like I’ve had an emotional stroke with physical consequences. “Can you set up a meeting with Derek? It’s about time I talk to the guy and get some paperwork signed.”

My father had his lawyers draw up extensive contracts that all protect his business. Not once did he consider adding in stipulations protecting the things I’ve worked for, and he certainly didn’t consider protecting me. I took it upon myself to have my lawyer draw up an agreement to cover both.

“Sure. I’ll touch base when I get him scheduled.” Andy turns to leave.

“Hey, Andy?”

He looks back over his shoulder, but doesn’t respond.

“Thank you… for sticking by me. I appreciate you.”

“We’re a package deal, remember?” He winks at me, but all of his usual pep is gone. His indifference crushes me.

Ashlyn and Celeste are upset with me, though they’re still trying to be supportive. Caleb is furious with me and both of our parents, but he promised he’d still be at the wedding for my sake. The only one who hasn’t changed toward me is Wilson.

Andy sends an email with a calendar alert saying Derek is coming in at 1pm today, and we’re to meet in the conference room midway between mine and my father’s offices. That gives me two hours to ready myself for the final step before I walk down the aisle in four days. My throat closes at the thought. Not the thought of walking down the aisle, but at Derek being the person at the end. For a brief moment, I allow myself to imagine Boyd waiting at the end as I walk down in my blue and white dress. My heart races with anticipation instead of dread. It’s a distinct difference.

But that can never happen.

I just hope my heart gets the message soon.

I sit at the conference table next to Derek and lay out the contracts my lawyers have drawn up. I may not have much—a car, a condo with a hefty mortgage, and Wilson—but those are all things worth protecting.

Derek pans the paperwork spread before him, but makes no effort to read them. Instead, he shoves them to the side, leans back in the executive chair, and kicks his feet up on the mahogany table. “The only thing we need to discuss is our wedding night.”

“I beg your pardon?” I stare at this idiotic tulip, waiting for him to elaborate. What exactly does he think is going to happen? I’m being forced into this marriage. Whether we consummate our sham of a relationship is not my concern. “I wouldn’t even touch you if you needed CPR.”

“Your dad told me you were uptight, but I thought you’d loosen up by now.”

“Oh, you mean in one of the sixty minutes we’ve spoken in the last seven years?” I’ve spent my life dealing with Henry’s wrath, but I’ve never wanted to stoop to such evil acts as I do against my future husband. I’m going to open a Nature Valley bar in this man’s bed the second we say ‘I do.’ Put hair removal cream in his shampoo. Swap out his stupid coffee whitener for crushed Alka Seltzer. Pure evil.

He scoffs. “It’s not like you’ve tried. I might be your favourite person and you just don’t know yet.”

“Derek, I don’t need to spend time with you to know I don’t like you. I’m so confident about that, I can assure you if you were on life support and my phone was at five percent, I’d unplug your ventilator to charge it.” I glare at him, to let him know I’m not kidding. “And I’ll be your wife, so I’m within my rights to do that. Tread carefully.”

“You know, it’s this ice queen attitude that’s the reason your father is making me the CEO.”

I spin my head around like I’m straight out of The Exorcist. “What did you say?”

“Henry is making me the CEO. That’s why I agreed to this. But now I’m wondering if it’s even worth it.”

My emotions flick through the entire catalogue in a matter of seconds. It was one thing when I considered Henry hiring a qualified man in his place down the road, but Derek? The guy with the anthropology degree who I’d bet he paid people to do his assignments for? The one staring at me like the only thing he’s interested in is our wedding night?

Is it worth it? Is the potential for changing policies ten or fifteen years down the road enough to keep me coming back to this day in, day out? Is my loyalty to the other women in this office worth trading my personal hopes and dreams? Is my fear of my father worth giving up on the relationship that brought me genuine happiness?

No.

I don’t reply. I also don’t sign a single piece of paper. There will be no crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s. No putting the final touches on our business arrangement. The lingering voices in my head for the past several weeks that told me not to do this are now louder than the ones telling me to suck it up and accept my fate. The collective voices of everyone who loves me are drowning out the one that has dominated my life for almost thirty years.

The cycle ends now. No matter what the cost. I know Caleb will understand. I hope Boyd will too.

“Andy, my office. Now!” I demand as I walk past him.

He’s through the door before I even round my desk. “That bad, huh?”

“I need a box.”

“A box? Like a gift box? A shipping box?”

“A moving box.” I drop in my chair, waking up my computer so I can clear my personal files. “I quit. I’m done.”

His green eyes bulge. “Really?”

“Really. Can you please find me a box?”

Andy literally runs out the door. I’ve never seen him move so fast, even on days I told him he could leave early. He returns three minutes later with two sturdy banker’s boxes. “I got one for myself, too.”

A flash of worry crosses my mind when I process his words. It quickly morphs into a smile. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve been waiting for this day for three years.”

“You’ve been working here for three years.”

“I know. I promised myself I wouldn’t leave you here to fend for yourself, but I don’t think I really helped with the fending.”

I abandon my computer task to walk around, take a box from him, and give him a side hug. Not only did I stay and put up with the toxicity seeping from this building’s pores, but Andy did too. Instead of feeling like my decision was noble, it feels selfish. “You’ve been an amazing assistant and a good friend. I’m sorry I stayed for too long. I always wondered why you didn’t quit.”

Andy dismisses my apology with a waft of his hand. “Hurry up and pack, would you? We might make happy hour somewhere.”

Ignoring the fact happy hour isn’t even a thing here, I giggle and move back around my desk. It helps ease some of the fear of telling Henry my decision.

It takes me fifty minutes to clear all passwords and personal information from my computer, pack up my things, and draft a resignation letter. Andy had an equal amount of things to deal with, so we both finish around the same time.

I exit my office with shaking hands, struggling to carry the box of picture frames, various phone chargers, two sweaters I forgot I owned, and some other miscellaneous items. It’s not that the box is heavy, but it’s hard to grip with trembling fingers.

Before I go to Henry’s office, I detour through the three floors our company occupies and inform each female on our staff that I’m leaving. I don’t go into detail why, but office gossip probably filled them in weeks ago about what was expected of me. Each one of them is supportive, but not as willing to jump ship as Andy. It makes sense. Most of them have families and responsibilities they need to care for. I try not to let the guilt of leaving them behind change my mind. Some of them even assure me that their direct bosses aren’t so bad, so while they know they’ll never advance in the hierarchy, they’re not treated like second-class citizens daily.

It’s a relief, but also a tough pill to swallow. I was so dead set on female empowerment and sticking it to the man, the only person I’ve stuck it to is myself.

Meredith, from our sales department, who I’ve worked with on several occasions, is the most emotional. “We’re going to miss you, but I’m happy for you. You’re a girl boss, Sophie.”

I smile at her, trying to express my appreciation for her support, but I don’t want that distinction. “Just a boss. It’s time for me to just be my own boss.”

Andy offers to come with me to Henry’s office, since he wants to hand in his resignation letter as well, but this is something I need to do myself. I grab his letter and amble down the hallway, curling the papers in my hands. The delicate placement of my feet reminds me of nights I used to sneak into Caleb’s room and didn’t want Henry to hear me.

With each step, I gain more confidence. I’m not a child anymore, and what I want matters. More than that, what I deserve matters. And I don’t deserve to be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

“Is he free, Joel?” I ask when I reach his reception area.

“Let me check.”

How this man demonstrates such a sunny disposition after working with my father every day is beyond me. He gives me permission to enter, so I take a resolving breath and walk forward to face my fate. I need every ounce of courage I possess to maintain my commitment to leaving.

Maybe I should have called Caleb.

No, I can do this.

“What’s this I hear about you calling Derek down here to waste his time?”

No ‘Hi, how are you?’ No ‘Are you well today, daughter?’ Henry doesn’t waste time on things like his children’s wellbeing—a trait my mother has inherited. Also, the fact Derek came to my father to tattle is another indication that this is the right choice.

“Sorry. I probably should have told him the wedding is off before I walked out.”

Henry lifts his head with his ever present scowl adorning his face. “I beg your pardon?”

My nose scrunches at the realization I sound like my father sometimes. “I’m not marrying Derek.” I relax my features and replace the look of disgust with one of conviction. “I’m also leaving McNamara Enterprises; effective immediately.”

“You signed a contract.”

“No, I didn’t. You signed a contract. My investment in this business or in that marriage never mattered enough to you to get me to sign it. I never had enough value for you to consider having me sign a thing. So I hate to tell you, Henry, but you’re on the hook for anything you signed. Not me.”

I’ve flip-flopped with referring to Henry as my father, Mr. McNamara, or by his name, depending on how I viewed him in a given situation. Sometimes I grant him enough importance in my life to call him my father. Other times, when we’re in the presence of employees or clients, I’ve maintained professional boundaries. But now, and forevermore, he’ll be nothing more than a first name.

Henry stands, leaning over his desk with his fists pressed against it on either side of his paperwork. “Little girl, you are not cut out to survive in this world. I’m doing you a favour by marrying you off. What, you think you’re going to run back to that barista? Believe me when I say he’ll never get a job in this town. And now you, you can guarantee you won’t, either. I put up with you because you’re my daughter, but if you walk out the door, I won’t even make that claim anymore.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. Logically, I always knew that my worth to Henry was relative to what I could do for him. How I could benefit his life, rather than just for being my own person with strengths and talents that differ from his, but aren’t less valuable. Hearing him claim he’ll disown me if I choose my happiness over his demands doesn’t upset me anymore. Because I’m excited to share my value with people who appreciate it.

“You’ve already pushed one child out of your life. Why not both? You’re a shining star as a parent, Henry. This enterprise you’ve built isn’t going to mourn your loss someday. And after how you’ve treated people—family—as commodities you can import and export from your life as needed, I doubt anyone else will either.”

In what I’ll describe as the proudest moment of my life to date—even more so than graduating university with honours—I exit Henry’s office to the sounds of his berating insults. But I don’t listen to a word he says because none of it matters.

This day marks the start of me living my own life.