Just One Yesterday

Boyd

This afternoon has been particularly busy. After my work placement this morning, I was exhausted from using every ounce of brain power, but with only one other employee on the schedule, I knew I had to show up. Donnie is catching on, but he’s still not capable of handling a busy shift on his own—nor should he have to.

In the midst of a lull in customers, I instruct Donnie to head outside to make sure there are no trash or lost belongings on the patio and empty the outdoor garbage. He nods and does as instructed, grabbing his coat and going out the front door. Not fifteen seconds later, the door chimes again. I assume he’s forgotten a trash bag or something to complete his task, but I’m surprised to look up and see Sophie. Not usual composed Sophie. She’s sporting red-rimmed eyes, puffy cheeks, and dishevelled hair.

I rush around the end of the counter to pull her into my arms. “What’s wrong? Wilson, Caleb? Ashlyn, Celeste? Is everyone okay?”

She collapses into me with her hands covering her face. I fear the worst that something has happened to one of her loved ones.

“They–they’re fine,” she struggles to say through ragged breaths.

I don’t feel any rush of relief hearing that. If that’s not the problem, it’s something else serious. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

She tilts her head back to look at me and starts crying harder. I’ve never seen her cry before; it surprises me how much I feel her pain as my own, and I don’t even know what is paining her.

“How ’bout I make you a coffee and you take a seat? Then we can talk.”

She nods, but her tears haven’t eased.

“Pumpkin spice latte? Side of sushi?”

That makes her choke out a laugh and crack a small smile. I twist behind me to grab a napkin from the dispenser and pass it to her. She dabs at her cheeks and I realize she’s been crying for quite some time. That makes me more eager to find out what the issue is. I rush to make her a flat white, glancing at her with each opportunity, then join her at the table at the back of the café right as Donnie returns. He studies us both, so I flash him both hands, indicating I need ten minutes. Maybe more, but I sign his paycheques, so he’s not going to berate me if I’m late.

Instead of seating myself on the opposite side of the table, I move the stool next to Sophie so I can wrap an arm around her. As soon as I do, she collapses into me again.

Several minutes pass before she speaks. “Henry is forcing me into an arranged marriage.”

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for those words. “What?” My left fist tightens, digging my nails into my palm. I’m equal parts seething and crushed. “Did you tell him no?”

“Of course I did! But he doesn’t take no for an answer. If I don’t go through with it, I’m out on my tail.”

“That’s not the end of the world.”

She sighs and sits upright, creating distance between us. Something that I’m afraid isn’t just physical right now. “I’m well aware of your thoughts on the matter. Thank you.”

“He has no right to do this. Someone needs to take him down. Teach him a lesson.”

“I don’t want to take him down. I wanted to rebuild this business, not dismantle it.”

“The only thing you’re building is a crypt for yourself! You keep letting him get away with things and wonder why it keeps happening.” My voice is getting louder than necessary, so I take a breath to calm myself down. The fury pounding through me is not helping, though. “Trust me, I know that parents don’t always make the right choices. You know that. Don’t tell me you can’t make a decision for yourself just because he’s your dad. Wrong is wrong, no matter who is doing it.”

“It’s not a simple decision to just stick to what’s morally right when it’s business and the people you love at stake. There’s a canyon of grey area and I’m stuck in it.”

“It’s not his business that’s the problem, Sophie. Can’t you see that? It’s him.” I rake my hands through my hair, tugging at the roots just to feel a sting somewhere other than my eyes. “I don’t know what you expect from me, but I won’t sit back and watch you waste your life catering to the whims of the one man in your life who doesn’t care about you. Either you leave your job or we’re done.”

Her face transforms from teary-eyed and upset to flared nostrils and furrowed brows. “Just what I need, hmm? Another man in my life telling me what I should do. Another man to inform me that my worth starts and stops with his expectations of me. Perfect.” She shoves her stool back, glaring at me with her puffy eyes. “So I guess we’re done.”

She stares down at me like she’s waiting for me to change my mind or take my words back. But I can’t. I meant what I said. If she’s choosing Henry and his demands over me, then there’s nothing to say it won’t be that way forever. Beyond that, I can’t sit back and watch her be treated this way and be okay with it.

“I guess so.”

With that, she abandons me and her full coffee and walks toward the front door.

“You know what the irony is?” I call after her.

She does a quarter turn to look at me over her shoulder. “What’s that?”

“You showed more loyalty to your made up boyfriend than you have to me.”

That comment is harsh. I know it. She knows it. I told her I was past that, and here I am throwing it back in her face, just because I’m hurt. Understandably, she exits the café, into the fading light. I stare at the door for several minutes, hoping she’ll turn around and come back inside. That she’ll see what I’m asking isn’t to have control over her, but because I want her to succeed and be happy. She won’t be either of those things at McNamara Enterprises. And she certainly won’t be if she’s forced into an arranged marriage.

For a woman who pushes back against the patriarchy and misogyny with everyone else, it leaves me at a loss when she’s willing to let Henry make such a huge decision for her life.

I can only hope that one day, she’ll push back against him too.

But for us, it will probably be too late.

***

The morning after. A phrase I’ve heard a thousand times, but never really paid any mind to. I’ve never woken up hungover enough to stop me in my tracks. But this day, waking up knowing that Sophie will soon marry someone else, it’s too much to process. Even harder to accept.

I’ve learned the best way to distract yourself from your own problems is to help someone with theirs. My brother has been moping around the house for months now, and it’s time I do what I can to set things straight for him, knowing they’re too late for me.

I peek into our shared office once I’m dressed and ready for work. I note the only line he’s written under the Study Methods heading says, I’ll read stuff. That is not promising progress on his PhD proposal.

“How’s it coming?”

He spins his chair and exhales the longest breath I’ve ever heard. “Stuck on the synopsis.”

I try to direct the conversation to his relationship woes, which makes me feel like a fraud. I have no right to be giving him advice in this area, but I do. For five minutes, we go back and forth, proposing solutions to his problem. He confides in me that he’s in love with the woman he feels he can’t have and thinks it’s crazy to fall for someone so hard, so fast.

I interrupt him without hesitation. “It’s not crazy.” I know that for a fact because Sophie walked into my life in September and I’m pretty sure by November, she had taken up permanent residence in my heart. I loved her back then and I love her now, but I never told her. After falling so fast for Maggie, it only blinded me to big issues, and had I been more pragmatic, I would have seen them. Sophie knows how that story turned out and I was afraid if I told her I love her, she’d worry history was repeating itself. Now I’m wondering if I had told her, if her response to her father’s demands would have changed.

While Holden is confessing everything weighing him down, I decide it’s time for me to clear the air. For years, there has been tension between us and there hasn’t needed to be. I swore to myself I’d fix this, and it’s one relationship I can.

“I know we haven’t been close over the past few years, and that’s on me. I held onto resentment for no reason because I put my life on hold. But that was my choice. And to be honest, Dad getting sick was an easy excuse to drop out because I was barely passing my classes.” I stare at my sock feet, embarrassed and ashamed of how I let my own insecurities poison our relationship. But this situation with Sophie has taught me that not all family relationships are equal, and we need to feed the ones that we value. “Taking that break renewed my focus and now I’m in a better place because of it. So I guess the point I’m trying to make is that I’ve always cared about you and wanted you to succeed.”

He says nothing. He just nods, which I take as a cue to continue.

“One thing I’ve learned, though, is that success isn’t about academic or career accolades. None of that means anything if you’re not happy.” I chuckle, understanding the irony in those words. I should have said the same thing to Sophie. “I don’t know when I turned into a Hallmark card.”

Holden stands and pulls me in for a hug. Something we haven’t done since we were kids. We also exchange declarations of brotherly love and he apologizes for his sour mood the past few months.

“Nah, don’t sweat it. I get it. More than you know.” Before I blurt out anything else that will only compound his problems right now, I sweep my hands down my apron, mutter, “See ya later,” and descend the stairs to carry on my normal day.

But there’s nothing normal about starting a day with half a dead heart.