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‘I love you Una. I have done from the moment I first saw you. You were, are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.’
‘I feel the same way. I love you too Leo.’ Una gazed adoringly into his eyes before leaning forward and planting a kiss firmly on the nose of Mr Bear, her teddy. She picked the old brown bear up, his fluffy fur had rubbed away in places from all the years of holding him close to her like she was about to do now. She hugged him tight to her chest before releasing him and pressing her index finger to her lips. She was surprised to find they were cool and dry and not on fire at the memory of Leo’s lips on hers.
Leo Greene might not have said those words to her this afternoon, but he had kissed her as they meandered home alongside the banks of the canal. The weather had been overcast with a persistent light rain, the kind that eventually got its way and soaked you through to your skin. Neither of them was in a rush to get home though, and so had set their own pace despite the rain.
It was her first kiss and the butterflies it had set off in her tummy were still beating their wings madly. He’d walked her to her door and they’d coyly let go of one another’s hand before saying goodbye. His hair was plastered to his forehead, and her waves that she’d spent so long taming would now be corkscrews once more. Una had reached up and wiped away the droplet of water beginning to slide down his temple. Their eyes had locked briefly in a silent exchange that this was how it would be between them from now on before she’d ducked inside.
She’d called out a hello before charging up the stairs two at a time. She would catch a chill if she stayed in her wet things any longer and Mam would go mad if she saw the state of her. Most of all though she wanted to relive that kiss in the privacy of her bedroom.
Leo was her and Aideen’s second best friend in the world, first place was reserved for each other. When his poor mammy died not long after he’d come to stay at his aunt’s, his dad, unable to cope had asked his sister if the arrangement could be made permanent. The sisters had taken him under their wing and where they went, he went.
There’d been a subtle shift in their relationship this last year. Una had begun to see him in a different way. At sixteen he was no longer that gawky boy who was all sharp elbows and knees. He’d filled out and somewhere along the way his features had become chiselled, defining the man he was becoming. Una too had become aware of heads beginning to turn in hers and Aideen’s direction, of the boys, men even eyeing them in a new manner. She hadn’t returned those admiring glances. Nor to her knowledge had her sister who didn’t seem to have much interest in the opposite sex. Una’s reasoning was different, she only had eyes for Leo. She supposed it had been that way since they were ten years old and she’d first seen him leaning on his aunt’s gate.
She’d declare all these pent-up feelings to Aideen each evening and if Aideen wasn’t to hand, then Mr Bear became her confidante. Now she thought about it, Aideen had been moody of late—quieter than usual. Una shrugged thoughts of her sister aside, she was too full of the afternoon and the feel of Leo’s lips on her.
When he’d asked her to come to the cinema with him on Saturday afternoon, there was a new film people were raving about, The Three Musketeers, she’d declared excitedly to Aideen that this was to be a date. A proper date. She could tell in the way he had shifted nervously when he asked if she’d like to go. This was no wander down to the canal to look for eels!
She’d hoped he would kiss her from the moment his arm had slipped around her shoulder in the darkened theatre. The smell of damp wool hung in the air, mingling with cigarettes and Gene Kelly and Lana Turner filled the screen in front of them. Try as she might, Una couldn’t remember a single thing that happened in the film after that. All she could concentrate on was the warmth where Leo’s hand rested over her shoulder. She’d moved a little closer to him and leaned her head against his shoulder like the couple in front of them.
That damp Saturday afternoon as the credits rolled down and people noisily exited the theatre chattering about the swashbuckling adventure they’d just watched, Leo had taken Una’s hand. It felt natural, she’d thought smiling up at him without guile.
It was near their old childhood haunt on the canal bank that Leo pulled her under the shelter of a tree. His face had softened as he looked at her and she’d known then that he was going to kiss her. Their lips met and began a gentle exploring dance. She didn’t want him to break away, but she was frightened by where the kiss might lead if he didn’t. They’d both jumped apart as though scalded as a young lad on a bike raced past, calling something cheeky that was lost on the breeze.
Una put Mr Bear down hearing Aideen’s weary footfall on the stairs. Her sister pushed the door open and kicked off her shoes. She hung her coat up and quickly changed into dry clothes, draping her damp things over the end of her bed. She’d take them downstairs to hang near the fire later. Una’s wet clothes lay in a puddled heap on the floor.
Aideen flopped down on the bed. ‘Ah, God my feet are killing me.’ She lifted one stockinged leg and rotated her foot in small semicircles, to the left and then to the right before doing the same with the other leg. Aideen had started work in the ladies’ wear department of Brown Thomas a month back and she was finding being on her feet all day hard work.
‘I wonder if I’ll get those horrible veins in my legs when I’m older like Miss Harrington. She’s worked in haberdashery forever and her legs are like gnarled tree roots. No fancy stockings can hide those.’ She shuddered and eyed her slender calf, her nose wrinkling at the thought. Watching her sister, Una didn’t regret her decision to apply for secretarial work upon leaving school. Being employed as a typist for an accountant might not hold the glamorous allure of selling the latest fashions showcased in Brown Thomas but at least she sat down most of the day. And there was the bonus of not having to work on a Saturday!
Aideen had always hankered after employment in the grand department store. It stemmed from their annual trip to the store’s sale to buy new shoes and a coat when they were smaller. Mammy was a stickler for quality and if it meant knitting and sewing everything else in her daughters’ wardrobe so be it. The Brennan girls were always well-turned out—apart from when they went looking for eels, poking about by the banks of the canal!
Aideen was the quiet, dreamy sister who loved inventing stories around the lives of the well-heeled ladies with furs draped across their shoulders they’d see on those outings. She’d gawp at them swanning around the store, like gazelles at home in their natural environment. Now here she was working there, six days a week—and her feet and legs had never ached so much in her life.
It was then she saw Mr Ted and she looked from the stuffed toy to her sister noticing the silly expression she had on her face. ‘What’ve you been doing?’
Una giggled. ‘I told you I was going to see The Three Musketeers with Leo.’
Aideen nodded. ‘Was Lana Turner gorgeous?’
‘I don’t know.’
Aideen’s face creased in irritation, she’d had a long day and wasn’t in the mood for playing silly games. ‘What do you mean?’
Una giggled oblivious to how this silly girly version of herself was annoying her sister. ‘Leo put his arm around me and I don’t remember much about the film at all after that. He held my hand when we walked home, and we got soaked to the bone but we didn’t care. When we reached the big tree by the canal, he pulled me to him like this,’ she demonstrated by picking up Mr Ted once more, ‘and he kissed me.’ Mr Ted bore the brunt of her affections once more and when she released him she turned to look at her sister and said, ‘Aideen it was perfect.’
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Una realised she was smiling as she lay in the darkness. Her index finger was resting on her lip as it had done all those years ago when she’d sat on her bed remembering Leo’s sweet kiss. Now she wondered why she hadn’t noticed the way her sister’s face had crumpled as she relayed the story of her and Leo’s outing. How had it escaped her notice that her sister too was in love with Leo Greene and just like her had been since they were ten years old? How her disobeying her mam all those years before could have had ripples like a stone being thrown in a pond. She knew the answer. She’d had plenty of time to think on it.
It was because she hadn’t wanted to see it. She was sixteen and in that way of young girls far too absorbed in her own feelings to want to acknowledge anyone else’s. Her sixteen-year-old self had been caught up in the thrill of her first love, enthralled by it and she hadn’t seen Aideen, not really. Una blinked away the burn of tears and sighed partly in frustration at her lack of sleep and partly in sorrow at the way things had turned out for them.
If she were at home, she would get up and make herself a cup of tea. She listened out but there was nothing to hear, the guesthouse was silent. Would it matter if she were to go and make herself a cup of tea in the guest’s lounge? It wouldn’t disturb anyone, and it had to be better than lying here wide awake being tormented by things she couldn’t change. Yes she decided pushing the covers aside and sitting up, she’d make herself a cup of tea. Mammy’s friend Maire had always said a good strong brew could fix anything.