Sam, Walt, and I
used to hang
every day
after school.
Skipping rocks.
Walks to the lake.
Video games.
Homework.
Just kicking it.
Granted, that was
middle school,
but still, we had fun.
Together.
Ever since
we got to high school,
she’s all new—classes
and friends.
I mean, we still hang,
but it’s always
on her terms,
mostly baseball games
to see Cruz play,
and sometimes
we study together.
Well, she studies.
I listen to music
and crack jokes
with Walt,
and pretend
my heart isn’t beating
like hip-hop,
and my stomach
isn’t all jumbled
like heavy metal.
Like it is
right now, right
now it is like
jumbled metal, right now
a heavy pain
jumbled
into metal, heavy
in my soul like metal
waiting to be
unjumbled. Right now.