Is it a crime . . . . that I still luv u?
Sade, “Is It a Crime”
“Where in the hell are we going?” Tee-Tee slapped his hand across the steering wheel, pissed. “I’m supposed to be at The Complex right now making love in the club, but nooooooooooo, I’m in the car wit’ no heat, stuck wit’ yo’ depressed ass,” he rambled on. “I swear this is some bulllllshit. It never fails. Er’time we go out, y’all bitches wanna cock block! Er’time I go to get me a li’l taste, here one of you lonely hoes go. ‘Tee-Tee, I’m tired. I wanna go home. My feet hurt.’ And don’t think I didn’t see you giving Bernard the eye. I’m tellin’ you now, Gray, I will go Kung Fu Panda on yo’ ass. Don’t fuck wit’ me. I will stomp a bitch over him.”
“Who the fuck is Bernard?”
“That’s my B.D. government name. Ain’t it cute, girl?” Tee-Tee smiled.
“This is too much muthafuckin’ playin’. And by the way, don’t nobody want that Peabody reject but you. Up there lookin’ like Flava Flav illegitimate son,” Gray snapped back, staring out the window.
“Okay, that is what the fuck is up. See, I was gon’ make you my maid of honor, but fuck that! Yo’ ass ain’t gon’ be nowhere near the church. Now, where are we going?”
“To The Loft.”
“What’s at The Loft?”
“Gunz.”
“What? You told him I would drop you off or something?”
“No. I wanna see who he’s there with.”
“Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeell no! No you don’t got me on no Fatal Attraction shit. Where is the white rabbit, Glenn Close? Huh? In the trunk?” He shot her a look.
“Negro, please. You the last one to talk. Remember that night you had me get out my sleep so I could be the lookout for you while you put sugar in Derek tank?”
“You sho’ right. You always was a ride or die chick. So let a bitch know the deal. Do I got to call the goon squad or what? ’Cause please believe Delicious number is on speed dial. One clap of the hand and a kooo-kooo! the Mafia will attack, no questions asked.”
“Tee-Tee, I appreciate the help, but Gunz will kill all of y’all asses on sight.”
“Oh, you must think this is a game. I ain’t no punk, Gray. I goes hard for mine.” He reached under the seat and pulled out a nickel-plated .22.
“If you don’t put that shit up . . .” Gray scooted close to the door, nervous. “What are you doing wit’ a gun?”
“Ride or die, fool. Ride . . . or . . . die.”
“I am so over this conversation. Here I am thinking I need to be scared around Gunz, and the whole time you the real thug. This is some bullshit. Pull over right here.” She pointed.
As always, The Loft was jumpin’. Gray could hear the sound of Li’l Wayne’s “A Millie” all the way across the street. Unconsciously she began to dance in her seat. Gray almost wanted to say fuck Gunz and go in and do her thing, but she couldn’t. She had to stay focused on the task at hand, and that was catching his lying ass in the act.
Gray scanned the front entrance of the club. The line to get in stretched all the way around the corner. She could hear some of the women complaining about their feet hurting. One girl even went so far as to take her heels off and stand barefoot on the cement. A slight grin formed on Gray’s face. Seeing the girl in pain reminded her of the night she first met Gunz.
Who would’ve thought nine months later she would be sitting outside a club on some crazy woman shit. What fucked Gray up was that she knew she was trippin’. She was acting like a psycho but couldn’t stop herself. An intense need to find out the truth had taken over, although deep down inside she already knew what the deal was. Gray knew Gunz was up to no good, but a part of her still wanted to believe that everything he said was true. Her female intuition was screaming that he was with another woman. The question was, who?
“Do you see his car anywhere?” Tee-Tee interrupted her thoughts.
Gray examined the row of cars that lined the street in front of the club. If Gunz was there, he would most definitely be parked near the door. Sure enough, his Aston Martin was right up front.
“Yeah, I see it.” Her nostrils flared.
“Text him and see if he’ll reply back,” Tee-Tee suggested.
Gray pulled out her iPhone and texted: So you really not gon’ answer none of my calls? It’s like that now? After everything we said.
For the next couple of minutes, she sat and waited with bated breath, hoping that Gunz would realize how much his sudden change in demeanor was hurting her and call back. If things were a wrap, he could just say that. There was no need for him to hold up traffic. If he wanted to step, Gray was more than willing to give him the green light so his ass could go. She could easily find someone else.
Gray was so into her feelings that she didn’t even realize that Tee-Tee had been calling her name.
“Gray?” He nudged her.
“Huh,” she answered, coming back to reality.
“It’s about to be a ‘code ten, man down’ situation. Ain’t that him over there?” He pointed.
Gray’s heart stopped mid-beat. Tears welled in her eyes to the point she couldn’t see. What she saw couldn’t be happening. It all had to be an illusion. Gunz wasn’t walking with a huge smile on his face, hand in hand with Devin. And he most definitely wasn’t opening the door for her ass. He said she was old news, a thing of the past, so why in the fuck was they together?
Gray was the one who listened about his hopes and dreams. She stayed up with him when he couldn’t sleep at night. She sucked his dick until her jaw hurt. She cooked, cleaned, and washed his clothes when he wasn’t even technically her man. She bent over backwards to make sure he was happy. She put him before everything, including her career, so why at that moment, instead of being with Gray, was he with her?
She couldn’t understand it. Had she been getting on his nerves? Did she demand too much of his time? Was the pressure of knowing she wanted him as her man and not her friend too much stress? Gray came to the conclusion that what she was envisioning was all an evil dream; any minute she was gonna wake up. But time kept on ticking away and the pain in her chest was spreading like wildfire. A part of her wasn’t surprised by his actions, but the part of her that believed he cared felt betrayed.
“All I got to say is you bet not cry. You better not let a muthafuckin’ tear drop. You feel me? Fuck him!” Tee-Tee wagged his index finger in the air.
For once Tee-Tee was right. There would be no crying, at least not yet.
“Fuck this.” She unlocked and opened the door.
“That’s right, girl! Go shut that shit down! Represent yo’ clique!”
With each step Gray took, it was a struggle for her to breathe. The closer she got to Gunz, the more faint she felt. She didn’t know what she was gonna say or how she was gonna say it. Maybe she wouldn’t have to say anything at all. Maybe the distressed expression on her face would say everything.
“Gunz,” she called out as he gave a pound to one of his homeboys.
Shocked to hear her voice, he spun around.
“So this why you couldn’t come get me tonight?” She pointed in the car at Devin.
“What you doing here?” He looked bewildered and confused.
“What you mean, what am I doing here? I came to see what yo’ lying ass was up to.”
“So you following me now?”
“Nigga, please. Don’t flatter ya’self. But it’s good. Now I know what’s up.”
“You don’t know shit.”
“I know I gave up a trip to Paris to be here with you, but instead you wit’ another chick.”
“Baby, you ready?” Devin asked, opening the passenger side door.
“Chill out,” he spoke sternly, closing the door in her face.
“Don’t be actin’ brand new now. You ain’t got to be rude to her on my account. Just a minute ago y’all was hand in hand, all lovey-dovey and shit.”
“Quit actin’ fuckin’ stupid.” He grabbed Gray by the arms and pushed her away from the crowd.
“Let me go! We ain’t got shit to talk about. Everything I needed to know is right in front of my face, so like I said, it’s good. Go ’head! Take her home, fuck until her pussy gets sore! As a matter of fact, cum for me twice! I don’t give a fuck!”
“You don’t mean that,” Gunz said, fearful that he might’ve lost her for good.
“What the fuck you think this is, a game? I’m done fuckin’ wit’ you.”
“Look, man, just go home. I’ll be there in a minute, a’ight.”
“You’ll be there in a minute? Nigga, have you lost your fuckin’ mind? Are you clueless? You come anywhere near my house and I’ma call the police! Get it through your head: I’m . . . through . . . fuckin’ . . . wit’ . . . you.” Gray tried to break loose.
“Will you let me explain?”
“No. Let me go!” She snatched her arms away.
“Man, calm the fuck down.” He yanked her by the arm.
“Uh-uh, nigga, don’t get stupid.” Tee-Tee jumped out of the car.
“I ain’t tryin’ to disrespect yo’ peoples, but you better tell this muthafucka to fall back.”
“Muthafucka? I ain’t no muthafucka! It’s Miss T if ya nasty!” Tee-Tee waved his index finger in the air.
“Real talk, get yo’ boy.”
“I ain’t got to get shit! Now let me go,” Gray screamed, breaking loose from him again. This time, she swung her arm so forcefully that Bishop’s watch slipped off and fell to the ground, causing the face to crack. For a second, they both looked at it in awe.
“That was an accident.”
“Don’t say shit to me.” He picked up the watch and placed it in his pocket.
“You know good and well I didn’t do that on purpose.”
“What the fuck I just say? Don’t say shit to me.” His chest heaved up and down.
“So now you got an attitude?” Gray shot him a look.
“What the fuck ever, Gray.” Gunz was heated. So much anger consumed him that he couldn’t see straight. He wanted to choke the shit out of her. Gunz could literally see her face turning blue. If he didn’t leave at that very second, he was sure to kill her. Swallowing the desire, Gunz walked over to his car and got in without uttering another word.
Death loomed around Gray. She could feel it. A part of her had died. The whole ride home, she’d suppressed her tears, even though they begged to fall. She felt like a fool. How could she be so stupid to think Gunz wouldn’t be like all the rest? She was so dumb to think they could be more than what they were. And how silly of her to think he could be everything she needed.
It seemed like it took forever to get home, but as soon as her key entered the lock and she stepped across the threshold, the tears that choked her throat spilled out through her eyes. The ache in her chest was torturing. Gray just wanted it all to go away. If she could rewind time, she would go back to the day they met and walk away.
She detested the fact that her friends were right about him. Why hadn’t she listened? Was she so blinded by his good looks and big dick that nothing else mattered? Had all of Gray’s common sense gone out of the window? Before him, she stood tall. She had a mind all her own. Now, here she was once again, torn into pieces. Gray was sick of being led on and let down. All of her life, men had swallowed her up then spit her out at their own convenience, and she sat back and took it.
Before Gunz, she vowed to never be another man’s doormat. The first sign of bullshit and she was out. With him, she ignored every sign. She should’ve known he was trifling when his word didn’t live up to his actions, but no, Gray being the lovesick puppy she was, looked past it. The hell with that. She deserved better, and better was what she was gonna get. Being with someone should never be as difficult as it was being with Gunz.
Little by little, Gray picked herself up off the floor. Nothing would improve her situation but lying in her bed underneath the covers. Just as she was about to make her way upstairs, her bell rang. It was Gunz. He was never gonna let things end the way they had. Whether he was right or wrong, if he thought something else needed to be said, it would be. Gray reluctantly went over to the door and let him up.
Gunz had rehearsed every word down to “baby, I’m sorry” down to a T, but as soon as he came face to face with Gray’s tear-stained face, all of that went out the window. There were no more games to play. Now was the time to lay everything on the line.
“What do you want?” she asked, holding on to the doorknob. Gray couldn’t even look him in the face.
“I just wanna explain.”
“There ain’t nothing to explain. All that shit you said was a fuckin’ lie. You said you wasn’t gon’ lie to me, you wasn’t gon’ hurt me, and that you was gon’ be honest wit’ me, but you’s a fuckin’ fake! I told you if you wanted to see other people let me know, and you looked me dead in the eye and said you would. But nah, fuck that. My feelings don’t count.”She finally glared at him. “What was all that shit about? I mean . . . did you even fuckin’ care for me at all?”
“Of course I did. I do. You know that.”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know that when you constantly hurtin’ me? From day one you been playin’ games.”
“It ain’t like that. I care about you. You know that.”
“You care about me?” Gray looked at him, disgusted. “Well, isn’t that original.”
“Can I come in?”
“Why not?” She stepped back so he could enter. Gray closed the door behind them.
“Listen, baby.” Gunz took her hands.
“Uh-uh. Get ya hands off me.” She snatched her hands away and gave him a warning glare.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. You’re only sorry you got caught.”
“Look, I know what I did was fucked up, but you gotta understand where I’m coming from. All this shit is new to me. Yeah, I done been in relationships in the past, but none of them were serious—at least not to me. But then here you come. I ain’t never met nobody like you. And yeah, it may sound like some sucka shit, but sometimes I get scared too,” he finally admitted. “There. I said it.”
“I ain’t tryin’ to lose you, ma. If we can work this shit out, I swear to God, I’ma do better.”
Like anyone would be, Gray was flattered by Gunz’s fascination with her. Like most single black women, all of her life she’d wanted someone to crave. Gunz was like uncharted territory, greatly intriguing. But now that she’d seen what lay behind his smile, like his constant lies, cheating, and unfulfilled promises, she needed a moment to deliberate whether he was even worth her time.
“I don’t know, Gunz.”
“So you don’t love me no more?”
“That’s not even relevant right now.” She shook her head.
“I’m askin’ you a question.”
“Yes, I still love you. That shit ain’t gon’ go away in a matter of seconds, but loving you is not enough. You’re not gonna continue to play around wit’ my heart. I’m tired of tryin’ to be wit’ you. I’m tired of tryin’ to get you to see what I see so fuckin’ clearly.”
“And what’s that?”
“The fact that you would even have to ask says everything.” Gray began to walk away.
“Where you going?”
“I’m done talkin’.”
“What is it that you see so clearly? Tell me.”
“That we’re supposed to be together,” she yelled, spinning around on her heels.
Gunz knew Gray’s answer before she said it. He’d known from the start that she was the one. The fear of loving her and losing her like he’d lost his sister and best friend was just too much for him to ever consider. But now that he was forced to swallow that bitter pill, he recognized that loving Gray was the best decision he’d made in life so far.
Gray, on the other hand, was unfazed by his too little too late apology.
“Okay, well, let us be together.”
“No. I’m done. I’m not going back this time,” she cried.
“C’mon, ma, you don’t mean that.” He caressed her face.
“Yes, I do.” Her lips trembled. “I can’t do this no more.”
“So that’s it? It’s that easy for you to walk away?”
“No, it’s not easy, but that’s what I gotta do for me.”
“If that’s how you want it then . . .” Gunz nodded his head, disappointed.
Gray held the door open for him but opted not to look at his face. If she did, she knew she would go back on every word she’d just hit him with. Gunz swallowed the tears in his throat and headed out the door. Nothing he had to say would make up for the way Gray felt. The damage had already been done, and at this point, he deserved to get everything she dished out.
Gray walked at a steady but brisk pace. Snowflakes the size of nickels fell rapidly from the sky onto her bare hands as she tried her best to shield herself from the wind. Starbucks was only a few more feet away. Gray couldn’t wait to get inside and get a hot cup of joe.
The aroma of fresh brewed coffee danced through the air and up Gray’s nose as soon as she entered. Rubbing her frozen hands together, she stepped into line. It wouldn’t be long until it was time for her to be back to work. Normally she would’ve eaten in the cafeteria, but on that chilly November afternoon, Gray felt like being alone with her thoughts.
After ordering the house blend, she made her way over to an empty table for two by the store window. Gray took off her cashmere coat and placed it on the back of the chair. For a second she imagined that Gunz was the one doing it. She’d been doing a lot of that lately. Gray never imagined that getting used to the idea of being alone would be so difficult.
Often, she second guessed herself and wondered if she had made the right decision by saying good-bye. Maybe she shouldn’t have said they could never go back. Coping with the fact that he was gone and they were over was cruelty in its worst form. Each day became more difficult. Gray’s days weren’t long enough, and her nights seemed to go on for an eternity. And yes, he’d hurt her in the worst way imaginable, but for weeks she hadn’t eaten or slept. Her favorite color to wear had become black. Every five seconds she checked her phone to see if it had rung. Everybody but him seemed to call.
Missing him wasn’t a surprise, but she needed to know that he missed her too. Her friends all said that she should get over him and move on, but was it such a crime that key parts of her longed to be with him? And yes, she should fall back and let the chips land where they may, but Gray couldn’t risk her heart being on the losing end of the stick and them not being together for good.
She was a complete and utter mess. Any and everything made her cry. It was as if her life was stuck on pause, and everything else around her was continuing on as normal. Being alone couldn’t be her reality. God knew her heart and how she longed to be with a man. Gunz had to have been brought into her life for a reason. Maybe he was the one she’d been praying for. Nobody was perfect, and relationships weren’t easy.
Taking a sip from her cup, she stared out the window. A young couple was crossing the street hand in hand. The guy led the way. When they entered the coffee house, he unraveled the woman’s scarf and took off her coat. She laughed as he picked snowflakes out of her hair. They seemed so carefree and in love. At the table, he took a hold of each of her hands and gazed lovingly into her eyes.
Jealous, Gray focused her attention elsewhere. Unfortunately for her, the sight of love was everywhere she turned. If rewinding time was something she could do, she would in a heartbeat. She needed her lifeline back, but even if they got back together, things would never be the same. And yes, she could see through all of his lies. Yet and still, something in her wanted to try again. The nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach had to end. She couldn’t cope with it one more day.
For Gunz, being without Gray was like moving mountains—damn near impossible. She was his life support, his stairway to heaven. Unknowingly, she’d become a part of him. Often, he’d find himself staring blankly out into space with thoughts of her on his mind. If only he could turn back the hands of time. He’d hold her body so tenderly, as if it were made of glass. He’d treat every precious kiss as if it were the last. In the next lifetime, he’d promise to find her sooner.
And no, he wasn’t perfect, but without Gray, he was left with nothing. She was the yellow to his blue. Forever with her seemed like the perfect ending to his story, but his immature, selfish ways had finally caught up with him. Gunz knew while he was out in the streets tricking off, he should’ve been home with her. Gray was a good girl. He should’ve never had her thinking she was the only one.
Yet and still, the mere thought of her being with someone else caused his stomach to churn. From the moment they met, she was his. Fucking around with Devin wasn’t worth seeing her cry, but a part of him recognized that he couldn’t love her right. The vibe between them was all wrong; yet and still, he wasn’t willing to let go. He wanted to escape from the unexpected feelings that inflicted his heart, but Gray had him hook, line, and sinker.
It seemed like no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get her out of his system. He tried to be on some “fuck her, whateva” type shit, but his heart wouldn’t let him fall back. He wished and prayed for her to call, but she never did. Gunz had even gone so far as to kick it with other chicks, but no other woman could take the place of Gray.
At night, he rode past her place just to feel close to her. He missed everything from her kiss to the touch of her hand. Surely she missed him too. She was his angel sent from up above. She shone brighter than any star. They’d come too far to end things now.
Before long, Gray had unknowingly begun a routine of going to work, coming home, showering, and then lying on the couch under Gunz’s favorite mint green throw cover. The smell of his Jean Paul Gautier cologne still lingered in the fabric. Gray placed the cover up to her nose, closed her eyes, inhaled deep, and then sang along to Tamia’s “Officially Missing You.”
“Just a week ago you were . . . my baby. Now I don’t even know you at all. I don’t know you at all. Well, I wish that you would call me right now.”
Holding her chest, Gray allowed tears of regret to roll down her face. She should’ve followed her first mind and backed out gracefully a long time ago. Gunz was everything she prayed for, but nothing like he could’ve been. He was the only man she’d love not to forgive. Gray wished that she was strong enough to say love me or leave me, but the fear of Gunz not being there at the end of the day was too excruciating to put up with.
And yes, it fucked her up how he would say no one came before her, but over and over he scarred her heart with his cheating ways. Hate for him lingered in her limbs, but in the same instance, to take a breath without him was like fighting the wind—impossible. Gray didn’t want to love him. She desperately wanted to see past him, but thoughts of was he missing her too devoured her mind.
As the track changed to John Legend’s “I Love, You Love,” Gray’s phone began to ring. Gray glanced at the screen. In a split second, her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. It was Gunz. Should she answer? Tears filled every crevice of her face as she reached to pick up the phone. Choking back the tears, she pressed the ANSWER button.
“Hello,” she spoke just above a whisper.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m outside. Can I come in?”
“Yeah.”
“A’ight, here I come,” he replied before hanging up.
Unprepared for their confrontation, Gray slowly got up from the couch, walked to the door, and opened it. Gunz towered above her. The smell of his cologne melted her senses. He wasn’t fighting fair. He looked sexier than ever in a white tee, blood red cardigan, dark denim jeans, and red-and-white Cre8tive Recs. His signature aviator shades shielded his eyes, while a TAG Heuer watch shone from his wrist.
Gunz was like a decadent piece of chocolate, rich and delectable. Being in his presence was like staring into the face of danger. The question was, was she ready to pull the trigger? To see him broke her heart because she knew what he was there for. He’d come back to reclaim the piece of her heart that he’d left splattered on the floor.
“So how you been?” he asked as he took a seat on the couch.
“As well as can be, I guess.” Gray stood across from him with her arms folded across her chest.
“Why you got my cover out?” He pointed over his shoulder.
“Gunz, you didn’t come over here to talk about that cover. What do you want?”
“You,” he stated bluntly.
“Yeah, right,” she replied dryly.
“So what, you don’t believe me?”
“No,” she said, trying to avoid his eyes.
“Gray . . . you know me. I don’t play about how I feel.”
“Gunz, when you had me, you didn’t know how to treat me.”
“I understand that, but all I know is . . . somehow, some way, you snuck into my heart, and no matter how hard I try to fight it . . . the shit just won’t go away.”
“Okay, so what am I supposed to do about that?”
“Let me come home,” he said sincerely.
“No. I can’t keep doing this shit wit’ you.” She threw her hands down to her sides. “ ’Cause you know what? For a while it’ll be all good, and right when I get comfortable, you’ll go and do something that’ll break my fuckin’ heart all over again. No.” She tried to convince herself. “I won’t do it. I love you, Gunz, I do, but this shit is crazy,” she yelled, trying to regain her composure despite the tears that trickled down her cheeks.
“So what you want me to do? Just walk away?”
“Yes! Please do that for me, ’cause I have tried to walk away from you . . . but I can’t,” Gray stressed. “My heart won’t let me. I love you and I always will, and you know it. And you use it every time to pull me back in, and that’s what you’re doing now. You have this hold on me and I can’t break it no matter how hard I try. And it scares me to death ’cause I know that you could push your way out of my life if you wanted to, so I’m asking you to let me go.”
“Nah, I can’t do that.” He shook his head, unwilling to let her go.
“Why not?”
“ ’CAUSE I FUCKIN’ LOVE YOU, THAT’S WHY!” Gunz jumped up from the couch and got into her face. “You my fuckin’ wife! I ain’t giving up on you that easy! Look . . . yo, I know I did some fucked-up shit in the past, but I’m here and I’m ready.”
For a minute, Gray stood speechless. For almost a year, she’d died to hear those words escape from Gunz’s lips. Now, here they were, floating in space, waiting for a response. It was obvious that she still loved him, but was her heart willing to admit the truth and risk being broken in half again?
“Ready for what?” she finally asked.
“To be the man you need.”
Gray was astounded. She’d never heard Gunz speak so passionately, and about her, no less. Should she let the wall she’d built fall down? She loved Gunz too much to let him hurt her again. If she let him back in her life, he was sure to hurt her ten times worse the second time around. But then he took her into his arms and placed his soft lips upon hers. All the doubts she had dissolved like snow on a warm day. And yes, she should tell him to go so she could wean herself off of him for good, but Gunz was her drug of choice. And like most addicts, it may cost her a lot in the end, but Gray was willing to give him one more chance.
“Where are we going?” Gray asked as she and Gunz drove out to the middle of nowhere.
“To my crib.” He took a long pull from the blunt in his hand and exhaled slowly.
Gray knew that she had a follow-up question, but unknowingly, she became caught up in Gunz’s swagger. He was the true definition of sexy. The way the smoke from the blunt escaped through his lips and into the air turned her on to the fullest. Gray wanted him to put it on her in the worst way imaginable. She wished for nothing more than for him to pull over, ease the seat back, push her knees up to her chest, and kiss her pussy until she screamed out, “Wait a minute, muthafucka!”
He looked good as hell in a black Yankees cap, red-and-black lumberjack flannel, Monarchy jeans, and high top Vans. Gunz took his eyes off the rode and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. Gray didn’t have to say a word; he already knew what was on her mind. He simply hit her with his infamous crooked grin and refocused on the road.
“What are you talkin’ about?” she finally questioned, coming back to reality. “Your place is in the city.”
“I got more than one spot where I lay my head, Gray.”
“Why you just now tellin’ me about it?”
“’Cause I don’t tell many people about it.”
Gray didn’t know if she should feel honored or put off.
Ten minutes later, they pulled up to a secluded gated community. Gray was amazed by how immaculate and beautiful the area was. Gunz’s house—better yet, mansion—was by far the flyest on the block. It was 6300 square feet and worth $3.5 million. There was a Spanish appeal to the exterior.
Gunz hopped out and opened her door. With her hand in his, he led her up the steps. Gorgeous bushes and white flowers lined the walkway.
Gunz unlocked the front door and escorted Gray inside. Striking brunette hardwood paneling and floors filled the interior of the home. An appearance of awe was plastered onto Gray’s face as Gunz gave her a tour of the quarters. The mansion held five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a gourmet kitchen, vaulted cathedral ceilings, French doors, a den, an office, a foyer with massive skylights, a pool with a waterfall, an outdoor cooking area, and a guest/maid quarters.
Although Gunz’s place was gorgeous, it looked barely lived in. There was hardly any furniture or knick-knacks.
“I take it you don’t come here too often.” She turned and faced him.
“Nah, not really.” He leaned up against the built-in kitchen island.
“Why not?”
“I just don’t.”
“I think the reason is because you get lonely. I mean, this is just too much house for one person.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Gunz smiled.
“Is this one of the paintings you were talkin’ about in Chicago?” Gray pointed to a self-portrait of the famed artist Salvador Dali.
“Yeah.”
“It’s beautiful in a sort of demented way.”
“C’mon. I got a surprise for you.” He took her hand.
“What kind of surprise?” Her face lit up.
“Come wit’ me and you’ll find out.”
Gunz led Gray downstairs to the basement. She was shocked to find a bowling alley and arcade room, but what took the cake was when Gunz revealed his movie room. It wasn’t fully finished, but a huge projector hung from the ceiling. Instead of sitting on custom made seats, he had a pallet on the floor. On top of the satin covers were beautiful handcrafted Indian pillows. In front of each of their pillows were popcorn buckets filled with an assortment of snacks. A popcorn machine and soda fountain were off to the side of the room.
“I can’t believe you did all of this,” she gushed.
“It’s cool. Anything for you.” He kissed her gently on the forehead. “C’mon. The movie about to start.”
“What are we watching?” Gray asked as she took a seat on the floor.
“Since I know you like all them girlie flicks, I asked my man out in New York to get me a copy of that new Sarah Jessica Parker film.”
“Oh my God. Thank you so much, Gunz. Nobody has ever done anything like this for me.”
“A’ight, don’t get all sentimental on me,” he joked.
“No, for real, this is really sweet.” Gray became quiet as tears filled the brims of her eyes.
“Come here.” She leaned forward and placed her hands on both sides of his face.
Gunz closed his eyes as Gray lovingly kissed his lips. Whatever in life she wanted, he was willing to provide. He loved to see Gray happy. As long as she was satisfied, he was good. He just hoped they could get past all the drama. Gray was still very insecure and sensitive about everything that had gone down. And yes, he was the cause of it. Gunz knew at times he could be arrogant and all about self, but loving someone outside of himself and his family was new to him.
For as long as he could remember, he’d only had his own feelings to be concerned with. Sometimes, he looked at Gray and wondered, Why does she stay? From day one, all she’d ever wanted was him. She always put him before herself. He never spent as much time with her as he could. Gunz knew deep down that he was unworthy of her love. He often questioned, could he be the man she needed him to be? Hopefully, if given the time, he would be able to figure it all out before it was too late.