Parisian park. Early that afternoon. THE ODDI FAMILY sits on a bench, distracted. The parade is still going on.
MR. ODDI: I know you were saying this the other day, Jenny, and I think you were right. Why all the revellers? Where is the wine?
JENNY: Thank you, father.
MR. ODDI: In fact, if it would not be going too far, I think Cedervale is more like Paris than Paris itself, and I will be happy and relieved when we get back. Think even of the striped umbrellas at the beach where we go sometimes, for instance!
MS. ODDI: Jack, if you’re going to go and say that, you might as well just throw in the towel right now and all of us with it. There’s nothing like a quitter! (more hysterical) And there’s the gutter!
MR. ODDI: Calm down, Grace. (looking at the map) Now look here, I think I’ve found the spot, pinpointed it. It’s not two miles off, in that direction.
(He points.)
MR. ODDI: (to JENNY, a little hyper) You want authentic Parisian life? You’d like Papa to take you there today?
(THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT comes over. He speaks with an exaggerated, phony French accent.)
THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT: Hello little girl!
JENNY: (looks up, sarcastic) Thank you very much for calling me a little girl. I’m twelve years old, you know.
MS. ODDI: Twelve years old is still little. Have you even gotten your period yet? I bet not!
THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT: Wouldn’t you like to join the parade, see what it’s like to be on parade?
JENNY: No thank you. I think your parade is ridiculous! It is absolutely ruining Paris for me, and my mother, and my father!
MR. ODDI: (turning) We do not find it very Parisian.
THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT: Oh, but it is Parisian! France has a great comedic tradition, you know, and it was not at all unusual in the 1400s, for example, to have jesters walking through the streets, in costumes much like this one… or this one. No, do not think the French courts dismissed peasant humor. In fact, court life would have been all intrigues and murders if the lightheartedness of the circus performers wasn’t there to intervene! I don’t speak from personal experience, but I have done my reading, and I know for sure.
MR. ODDI: You can keep your bugger history! We just don’t find it very sophisticated!
THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT: Monsieur, I understand. When I first moved to Paris seven years ago, I had a very different idea of how it would turn out for me. I came with little money, only one change of clothes. I was young. I thought I’d paint the Seine, yes, sit along the water all day, and in the night proposition women for threesomes or foursomes—
MS. ODDI: Excuse me! She is twelve years old!
THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT: But she must know what it is, a threesome.
JENNY: I know what it is.
MR. ODDI: Would you leave my family in peace!
THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT: Indulging in threesomes is very good. They’re a pleasure.
MS. ODDI: Anyone can see they’re a pleasure!
THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT: Especially with two men. Then the possibilities are even more interesting.
(MR. ODDI gets up and punches THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT in the face. He staggers back. MR. ODDI turns away but then THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT returns the punch.)
JENNY: Oh, stop! Just stop! Will you please stop it!
(The two men back off each other.)
JENNY: Father, really!
(THE MAN IN THE BEAR SUIT wanders off.)
MS. ODDI: Are you hurt?
MR. ODDI: I’m not hurt, Grace, thank you very much.
(He rubs his hand. JENNY starts to cry.)
MR. ODDI: See what you’ve done? You’ve startled her.
JENNY: Do you think they’ll ever find him, really?
MS. ODDI: Well, Jenny, it’s unlikely. It is very unlikely.
JENNY: Perhaps he really was taken. And if he was?
MS. ODDI: If he was, then we probably won’t see him again. Adults who take children tend to make all they can of the opportunity, and that does not include returning them to their parents.
JENNY: (crying) Poor Daniel!
MR. ODDI: Now, Jenny. Let’s try and forget all about this. Have I something to show the two of you! A real French Parisian district, with real Parisians going about their daily business.
JENNY: I want to go back to the hotel with the Sings!
MR. ODDI: I am not going to ruin your mother’s whole day on account of your wanting to go back. We’ll go back to the hotel in the evening, and we’ll help the Sings then. There’s not much to be done about it now.
JENNY: Don’t you care about Daniel?
MR. ODDI: Of course I care, Jenny, but he’s not our son and there’s nothing we can do about it. We’re not the guilty party.
MS. ODDI: (saying it, but distracted) That’s right, Jenny. Don’t start treating your father like he’s the guilty party. Your father spent a lot of money getting us over here, and while we’re here, we should be out, not just sitting in a hotel with the Sings.
JENNY: Perhaps they need our company.
MS. ODDI: If they do, they’ll just have to wait until we get back for dinner tonight.
MR. ODDI: They’re not waiting around for us now. Don’t be ridiculous. They’re not sitting there thinking, “Oh, where are the Oddis, our only friends in the world?” Be reasonable, Jenny.
MS. ODDI: Yes. Come along. Your father has planned a really nice day and we’re going to see it through.
MR. ODDI: That’s right… a real Parisian district. We might even hear some French!