The hotel room of THE ODDIS. Early evening.
MR. ODDI: (proudly) Your mother plays the flute!
JENNY: What? I never knew that.
MR. ODDI: Listen to her. Come, Grace. (to JENNY) She brought it with her.
(MS. ODDI produces her flute.)
MS. ODDI: I sing, too.
JENNY: Impossible. How come I was never told?
MR. ODDI: We wanted it to be a surprise.
(MS. ODDI plays a note.)
MR. ODDI: Divine.
(MS. ODDI plays a whole song. When she is done, she holds her flute to her chest and smiles. MR. ODDI stands and claps, beaming.)
MR. ODDI: Marvellous! Marvellous! Isn’t your mother incredible?
MS. ODDI: (happily embarrassed) Oh stop it.
(She quickly puts the flute away.)
(MS. ODDI goes and sits beside her husband, who puts his arm tight around her waist and smiles. They sit there like that.)
JENNY: Excuse me.
MS. ODDI: What is it, Jenny?
JENNY: I would like to talk to the police.
MR. ODDI: Oh Jenny, can’t it wait?
MS. ODDI: Jenny, we are trying to have a nice time.
(There is a knocking on the door. THE ODDIS look at each other questioningly. JENNY goes to answer it. Standing in the doorway are PLURABELLE, an older woman with an air of authority, and THE HANDSOME MAN WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHY. They push in.)
PLURABELLE: Ms. Oddi.
MS. ODDI: Yes?
PLURABELLE: We understand you play the flute.
MR. ODDI: Were you spying?
PLURABELLE: Livinia was.
(LIVINIA enters, hesitantly, then curtseys.)
MR. ODDI: What does it matter? Is that not allowed in this hotel?
PLURABELLE: (without enthusiasm) Contrary, Sir. It’s encouraged.
MS. ODDI: Then I don’t see what I’ve done wrong.
PLURABELLE: We would like to invite you to dinner.
MS. ODDI: (coldly) We have eaten already, thank you.
PLURABELLE: Not as a guest. Tonight there will be a great honor for the hotel. The Prince For All Seasons will be dining here with his entourage and new bride. We have never had such a great honor, not since the hotel opened in 1748. Do you know what happened in 1748, Ms. Oddi?
JENNY: I do.
PLURABELLE & JENNY: (in a rush) In 1784 the Hoteliers Association of Western Europe produced an edict!
PLURABELLE: Don’t speak out of turn! We were the first hotel to open under the regulations of that edict, which had four main points, and it was then that the King of Verdun honored us with a visit with his entourage and new bride! We were humbled and we served him a roast. It was delicious and everyone was satisfied. The only person who was not satisfied was his young bride. She took to her bed ill that night, and when she woke, she was dead.
MR. ODDI: Then she didn’t wake. If she was dead.
PLURABELLE: Did I say woke? I meant “in the morning.”
THE HANDSOME MAN: Tell her about the second honor.
PLURABELLE: (shrill) You are wrong! The second honor is tonight! Ms. Oddi, can we count on your participation?
MS. ODDI: You want me to play the flute?
PLURABELLE: We do.
MS. ODDI: Well… I am flattered, of course.
PLURABELLE: We will leave you to talk it over with each other. A husband and wife must consult on every detail, or else the marriage may go to pot. Have you found that?
MR. ODDI: No.
PLURABELLE: (beckoning to THE HANDSOME MAN) My husband will stay. When you have come to your decision, tell him, and he will inform me. We would be so honored. (bowing as she exits) Your notes are honeyed, Ms. Oddi, absolutely honeyed. And you are a vision of loveliness.
MS. ODDI: (swallowing, quietly) Thank you.
(PLURABELLE and LIVINIA leave. JENNY checks the door, opening it a little and looking out, then closing it.)
JENNY: The old one is waiting outside the door.
THE HANDSOME MAN: (smiling) She doesn’t trust me.
(MS. ODDI turns to her husband with a hopeful, expectant look.)
MR. ODDI: Come on, it sounds ludicrous!
MS. ODDI: I don’t know… I think it’s quite an honor. To be asked. I am not even a professional.
MR. ODDI: We have tickets to a play. Don’t you remember?
MS. ODDI: (scoffing) A play. (to THE HANDSOME MAN) Tell her I will.
THE HANDSOME MAN: It’s a choice you both should agree on, don’t you think? Or do you want to make your husband upset?
MR. ODDI: Yes, he’s perfectly right. I think I should be included in the decision.
MS. ODDI: You won’t let me? Why?
THE HANDSOME MAN: Often, Ma’am, it seems a husband doesn’t like his wife to shine. I can’t figure it myself. Who else should a man want to shine but his very own wife?
MR. ODDI: It has nothing to do with that! I am perfectly happy to see my wife shine!
THE HANDSOME MAN: You aren’t hiding her light under a bushel? She’s a beautiful woman, if you don’t mind me saying, your wife is, and she would make the Prince very happy.
MR. ODDI: (to MS. ODDI) This is what you want?
JENNY: She’s still there.
THE HANDSOME MAN: She’s just spying on me. Keeps me on a short leash. Thinks I’m going to run around on her. (smiles)
MS. ODDI: I want to do it. I want it. I want it, Jack!
MR. ODDI: Well, you’re being very irrational. That’s all I can say.
MS. ODDI: I’m guided by my emotions this time!
MR. ODDI: Go ahead then.
MS. ODDI: (to THE HANDSOME MAN) Yes!
THE HANDSOME MAN: We’re much obliged to you, Ma’am. You may not realize it, but it’s quite an honor to be asked, and tonight will be the best night of your life, if you don’t mind me hyperventilating.
MR. ODDI: (impatient) You mean hyperbolizing.
THE HANDSOME MAN: Your husband’s a good man. Takes good care of you. He’s no fool.
(He waits, looking at them.)
THE HANDSOME MAN: Well, good-bye.
(He goes. JENNY open the door for him and closes it behind him. We can hear a grunt of delight from PLURABELLE from behind the door. JENNY checks.)
JENNY: They’re gone.
(MS. ODDI stands up in rapture. She begins pacing around the room impatiently, eagerly.)
MS. ODDI: Oh! Oh! I don’t know what to say! (turning to MR. ODDI) I don’t know what to say!
MR. ODDI: I don’t know.
MS. ODDI: It really is an honor! At first I thought they were just saying that, I was suspicious. But I feel it in my bones. The Prince! The Prince For All Seasons… And his lovely young bride. How romantic!
MR. ODDI: See, it all sounds like a load of crap to me.
MS. ODDI: Must you spoil everything good in my life! For once I am the one who is necessary. I am the one who will make the evening shine! That man was right. You’re jealous of me. You want to keep me tucked away in this hotel room, away from the eyes of the world. Why didn’t I get on the stage? Why didn’t I pursue my flute? Instead I took care of Jenny.
MR. ODDI: You worked.
MS. ODDI: I worked. Later. Yes, I did work. But never to my potential.
MR. ODDI: I coached you for interviews.
MS. ODDI: You helped in your own way.
MR. ODDI: (angry) Then?
MS. ODDI: But you never went out of your way to help! (bursts into tears) I have hidden my talent under a bushel.
MR. ODDI: You never professed an interest.
JENNY: (more quietly than usual) I never knew about it.
MS. ODDI: I was ashamed. It seemed frivolous.
MR. ODDI: Well it is, a little, unless you take it seriously. (standing) I’m not going to miss the theatre.
MS. ODDI: I know. (sadly) I can’t really expect you to be proud of me, not even the tiniest bit… not if I never professed an interest. I have to practice. I only know one song. Take Jenny! I have no time to waste. I must rehearse!
MR. ODDI: I don’t want you getting too carried away, is all. Don’t forget the rest of your life!
MS. ODDI: No, it’s true. The rest of my life is very important.
(MR. ODDI puts on his coat.)
MR. ODDI: Don’t go changing your look. Your look is a good one.
MS. ODDI: (nervously) Is it?
MR. ODDI: You see? Keep it in proportion! Come along, Jenny. We’re not missing the play. Don’t forget your coat.
(MR. ODDI and JENNY leave. MS. ODDI lifts her flute to her lips and blows. There is not a pleasant sound. She looks at her flute in despair.)