I walked out the front door of the school and saw Jason, on his stupid motorcycle, take the corner where the buses were loading. He was going so fast his tires sprayed stones as he went onto the shoulder. I was going to have to talk to him. He was old enough to consent to giving blood. The decision would be his. Maybe I could use his big-shot-nothing-scares-me attitude to con him into it. I had that working for me.
On the other hand, the guy had a very thick skull. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to make him understand.
I could have taken the bus, but I decided to walk home instead. I tried to keep my mind focussed on Kurt, but I was already trying to figure out how to convince Jason to give blood, maybe even on a regular basis if Kurt needed it.
As I walked I thought about how things had already started to change between Kurt and me. It was only recently that soccer seemed to get in the way of our friendship. And that was probably because of Jason. Kurt was always trying to prove something to Jason. Kurt wanted desperately to be Jason’s friend, but Jason only made his life difficult. Kurt tried to explain to me that Jason had something to teach him. About soccer. About going beyond what you think you’re capable of. About going for broke.
I remembered something else too. I remembered how Kurt and I had become friends. I had come home from school one day a couple of years earlier. My parents were inside screaming at each other. The doors were locked and I wanted to go in but was afraid to.
Kurt walked by and saw me sitting on my porch with my head on my knees. When he walked up to me he heard my parents inside.
“What’s going on?” he’d asked.
“Listen. World War Three,” I’d said.
“You want to come over to my house? Maybe watch a video or something?”
“What do you have?”
“I have all the old Star Wars movies. Do you like Star Wars?”
I didn’t really like science fiction at all, but it didn’t matter. I walked to Kurt’s house and we watched the first Star Wars movie. He talked through the whole thing, explaining who all the characters were and what he knew about each planet. I didn’t like the movie much, but I really liked Kurt trying to explain it all to me. He even put his hand over his mouth, started breathing funny and did an imitation of Darth Vader.
Kurt’s mother was nice to me the first day except she felt obliged to tell me about the rules at her house. Shoes off when you come in, so you don’t wreck the white carpet. No drinks or junk food in the living room. No interfering with homework time. Yikes, she was pushy. I was surprised Kurt was so casual about it.
After I had shown up unnanounced a couple of times, afraid to go home, she wasn’t so friendly. She’d heard stories from the neighbors about my parents’ fights. The arguments were legendary in our neighborhood. She didn’t want her son spending too much time with a kid from a messed up family.
But that day of the first visit, Kurt even walked me home. We stood at my back door and listened. It was quiet.
“Do you think it’s safe?” he asked.
“They only yell. They never hit.”
“Call me if you need me,” Kurt said.
And sometimes I called. Sometimes his mom lied and said Kurt wasn’t home. But Kurt had a call minder on the phone in his room. If he saw that I had called, he called me back. Sometimes I just needed someone to talk to.
And Kurt had always been there.
We rode bikes together and then we started running long distance. Sometimes we kicked a soccer ball around at the park—at least until soccer season. That’s when he started to get more serious and began practising with the older guys. And he started hanging around with Jason. I don’t know why Jason didn’t like me. I don’t think it was personal because he could be nasty to just about anyone. It didn’t seem to bother Kurt, though.
So I decided to stay on the sidelines at the games and practices. I would be Kurt’s number one fan. I’d cheer him on. After all, that’s what friends are for.
My parents still had problems, but nothing would change that. I loved them, but I found it hard to be in the same room with both of them at the same time. I tried a few times to talk to my mom about it, but she always pretended that we were perfectly normal. “Everything is fine. All families have … difficulties.” I promised myself that when I grew up I’d never be like them. I would find someone I truly loved, and I’d live happily ever after. I really would.