Tom spent the night with Iilo, holding him close and thanking every star he could. When he woke up, sprawled on the mattress with Iilo tangled with him, he couldn't help but press a kiss right between Iilo's brows. He rolled off the bed, silently thanking whatever compelled Iilo to forgo a bed frame. His bones were still too heavy from the night before with Caleb.
Inaraa was already in the living room area, braids perfect and face stern.
"Good morning," she said.
"You petitioning the Elect?" Tom asked.
"Somewhat. I'm basically going to manhandle it until they listen to us. Wish me luck?"
"All the best of it." Tom smiled. "Sam and Carlos gonna come up?"
"If I win. If not, I guess we'll just go back to the bug-out theory." She turned around, shrugging. "Stay here with Iilo and Letic. I'll keep you guys posted."
Tom nodded. He padded into the kitchen, found a box of cereal, and brought it back into Iilo's room. Iilo was awake, stretching in a delicate arch atop the bed. The gems in the wall glowed with lazy rhythms. They cast purple shadows along the dips and curves of Iilo's body. Tom was transfixed.
He fell onto his knees on the mattress and then rested his head on Iilo's lap.
"Did I tell you my sister died?" Tom was in a sharing mood. Either because of Caleb last night or because this was one of those secrets he felt Iilo needed to hear if they were to progress as a couple. As a couple.
Iilo shook his head.
"She got shot by a man she'd rejected at a bar. Followed her home. She was—God—she was five feet away from the porch. And I wasn't there to do anything about it."
Iilo pursed his lips. Long lashes blanketed his cheeks. He was an ethereal painting, shaped by stars, glowing comets, and the mysteries of the universe. His freckles glowed soft, casting muted blobs of light on Tom's skin. No words transpired, but Tom felt them seep into his body. Iilo's heart was communicating with Tom's and whether it was all in Tom's head, that didn't much matter. Iilo was holding him.
"I joined the army thinking it was a good way to get out of Gary. My dad was so proud of me. Mom was too, but she never liked violence."
"Sometimes violence is necessary. But that doesn't mean it should be the first choice."
"I didn't expect to go to war. I thought I was gonna be stationed in Japan or something, but then they sent me to Iraq first. I saw children explode—dogs. I hate saying it, but it hurt the most with the dogs. We could've saved them. But—we never knew what kind of bomb it was and getting close was stupid. I watched so many dogs—blow up."
Iilo kept silent, stroking his cool fingers down Tom's neck.
"Then before First Contact, I came home and my sister was dead. Dad lost his job. Mom died of cancer. I was supposed to change their lives. Get out of Gary, maybe onto a farm instead. But Dad left Gary to live with my grandma 'cause he had nowhere else to go. But once again, I couldn't save a single fucking person. Dogs, children, my own fucking family!" Tom's sharp breath hit his lungs like ice, squeezing through him until it cut into his lungs. He brought an arm around Iilo, holding him tighter.
"And you became a lawyer. What did you do next?"
Tom barked out a bitter laugh. It was laced in all the ironies of Tom's life. Become a lawyer. Fight for the world. Do good. Become a lawyer, pay the bills, just take one more divorce to get by. He told himself every time the next divorce would be the last. He'd told himself this so many times he'd started saying it as a joke.
"I've failed in everything I've ever tried to do. Caleb's gonna change the world or something and me? I'm just—a fucking fraud."
"That's not true." Iilo flicked Tom's nose. He laughed at Tom's shocked expression and bent down for a kiss. "You've changed me. I was desperate and I thought I'd never see my friends again. Or I'd—fail my mother. But we've come so far. I've met good people like Sam and Carlos. Inaraa—Letic—even trust you."
"And what if all we find are dead bodies?" Tom didn't mean to make it so harsh, but he'd be lying if he said he'd never thought about it.
"I—I'm prepared to face that. I just need answers, Tom."
Tom shivered. He wanted Iilo to whisper his name to him, over and over. Tom used to scoff at movies where the characters were in love by the end. Was it possible to love someone you still didn't know entirely?
Iilo kissed Tom slow, pulling him up with a strength that startled him.
They kissed, Tom spreading his legs out to wrap around Iilo. Iilo wasn't dainty. He was powerful, a well-kept secret hiding in plain sight. Tom wanted to know more of the secrets Iilo kept.
Iilo's fingers cupped Tom's head, his other hand slipping up and down Tom's chest. He slipped his hand under the hem of Tom's shirt, waiting.
"Yeah," Tom whispered against Iilo's lips.
Shirt removed, Iilo scanned Tom's body, his orange eyes glowing in the darkness. The sight used to frighten Tom. It would allow memories of panic in his veins like acid and the constant tingle at his shoulders like memories of being chased. Iilo wasn't chasing him. He'd already caught him.
"I can't believe my sister thinks you're too bulky." Iilo pulled Tom to him again, teeth clashing more than lips.
They rocked into each other, Tom's body burning. His cock swelled, pressing obnoxiously against the seam of his sweats. He fidgeted atop Iilo, lips slipping and wetting Iilo's chin.
Iilo laughed, bringing his hands down to Tom's hips.
"Are we—is this happening now?" Tom asked, voice husky. Too fast, too slow. It didn't matter. What mattered was that it felt right. Tom had spent so much time stuck in the past, it was time he started living for the present.
Iilo's lips curled up into a smile, his eyes flickering in the darkness like an amber fire. "It's a little different. What I have."
"Dual-gender thing?"
Iilo nodded.
"I—I wanna see?"
Iilo flushed pink, hiding his face. He squirmed out from under Tom and rested his hands on his pajama pants. "I'm scared," Iilo said.
"What if we both get naked?" Tom looked behind Iilo to the Christmas lights he'd strung over an uneven metal frame in the wall. Tom absolutely wanted to see Iilo sprawled out and naked beneath those.
Iilo pulled Tom's face to his, slipping his tongue inside Tom's mouth. It tingled. He pressed their bodies together, rubbing up along Tom's dick.
Shoved back onto the unmade bed, Tom watched as Iilo pulled his shirt off and shimmied out of his sleep pants. He stood, biting his lip and glowing brighter—pinker than Tom had ever seen him. The room had a hazy red hue.
"You're like a little light show." Tom pulled Iilo onto the bed. He kissed Iilo's shoulder, his button nose, his soft lips. "Why do you glow?"
"Why do you not?" Iilo asked. He lay among the disheveled bed, grabbing a pillow and tossing it beneath his head. His ID glowed blue and steady against it, almost like a perfect reflection.
"I dunno."
"I don't know much about me either. We were in the dark a lot. Like the fish you all have down in the deeper parts of the ocean."
"Huh." Tom sleuthed between Iilo's legs. He trailed his fingers along Iilo's inner thigh, feeling him shiver. "Is this okay?"
"I think so. Y-yeah." Iilo winced.
Tom was nervous too, it wasn't Iilo's body, it was this. He hadn't been intimate in such a long time he was terrified he'd forgotten how. With shaky hands, he looked down, focused more like a student than a man about to make love to his boyfriend for the first time. Iilo's dick looked similar enough to Tom's; there were less veins and the same sparkling freckles that were on his cheeks. He grabbed it softly, thumb pressing tiny circles under the tip.
"Oh." Tom watched, amazed as Iilo's dick—bloomed. Striated grooves etched into it, lines rising as Iilo got more and more aroused. "Uh—is this?"
"It's normal." Iilo dropped his head back, chest heaving. "It's like you getting hard. Slipping out of foreskin or whatever."
"I don't—have that. They removed it when I was a baby."
"Could we not talk? I mean—please don't kill this."
Tom laughed. He let his fingers trace along the grooves, pressing his fingers into them, watching Iilo squirm.
"L-lift it up," Iilo said.
Tom did. At the base of Iilo's dick, hidden away was a little hole. It glistened, reflecting the glow from Iilo's freckles. "Oh." He traced his fingers around it, feeling the swollen flesh that curtained it. "Dual gendered."
"Y-yeah."
"Can we—"
"You can be inside me—yeah."
Tom listened when Iilo said to stop or change what he was doing. He let Iilo sit atop him because it was easier for Tom to enter him that way. Iilo's skin pulsed light out in a frenzy, a sunset just for them. Heat flourished inside Tom, pushing down against his cock.
"It tingles there too," Tom whispered.
Iilo's only response was a breathy kiss and a nod.
Iilo dipped his neck back, sweaty hair spindling out, a whisper of wind hitting Tom's lips. His nails dug into Tom's shoulders, pressing more and more with each thrust.
Tom could feel sweat trickling down his spine. His breath mixed with Iilo's when their lips parted.
Pressure built deep in his stomach until he couldn't take it anymore. He bit down on Iilo's neck, muffling out a cry as he came.
Iilo kissed Tom's ear, his cheek, his wet lashes. They worked each other up over and over again, exploring each other, mapping out nerves, trembling skin and sweat.
After, they lay in bed, both breathing heavily and pressed together. Flecks of yellow sun shot onto the gray flooring, catching flecks of dust hanging in open air. Iilo's body had long since faded in its light. It hummed next to Tom, a faint glow that barely reflected against the crumpled blankets.
Silence moved through Tom's mind. It wafted there, a gentle sway, watching the dust specks in the morning light. It whirred when Tom kissed Iilo's sticky forehead. It encouraged him when he let his lips rest atop Iilo's. But like all moments of silence, it left him far beyond when he was ready.
"Oh shit. Today's Wednesday." A sharp pain rolled through Tom. He turned back to Iilo saying, "I've got—I'm so sorry—I've got clients. I've gotta go. I can't believe this. I wanna stay." He dropped in front of Iilo, cupping Iilo's face and kissing him quick. He would rather stay, wrapped up in Iilo's embrace, his scent; Tom didn't want to face his mundane duties when Iilo was sitting here with flushed skin and that gentle smille. "I'll call you? Let me know what happens with the Elect and Inaraa today."
"Of course." Iilo sat up. He bundled himself up with the blanket and smoothed down his rumpled hair. "I forgot about this. The you having to work for a living thing."
"Honestly? Same." Tom scurried into his pants. He looked around for his shirt and snatched it off a jutted piece of metal. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
In the living area, Letic was sitting on the beat-up sofa, nursing a steaming coffee. He looked up, a brow raised high. "Morning, champ."
"Where're my car keys?"
"Sittin' on them."
Tom rolled his eyes. He looked at the old TV, still sporting an antenna before looking back at Letic. "I'll pay for a new TV and get you guys the best streaming sites if you don't make me literally fight you for my keys."
"Oh. Yes." Letic stood up, and with a flick of his wrist, he tossed the keys over at Tom. "Nothing basic!"
"Wouldn't dream of just giving you something basic!" Tom slung his keys into his pocket and raced out.
He shot off a text to his client and prayed on the drive back into town that he wouldn't get stopped by a cop.