"You holding up well?" Tom asked Letic. It was moving day from the Settlement. BrightStart's lands were under investigation, and none of the I'na felt safe to stay. Fostering families had been a success, the people of Seward coming together to take in I'na while Nebraska's Congress worked to be the first state to allow I'na to own land.
Letic looked at Tom with a heavy stare. His lips didn't even flinch before he said, "Your friend wanted bleed me like a pig. You need pick better friend."
Tom snorted. "All I got is Carlos and Sam now."
"And me." Letic swiped a hand in the air. "If want."
"But I'm human?"
"Good human. Iilo like you."
Tom laughed, his chest bubbling up with air. He'd never felt so delighted to hear someone call him a friend. Hearing Letic accepted Tom was a private victory.
The wind hit Tom before he realized the door was open. Inaraa, Iilo, and Carlos scurried in. Carlos shoved the door closed, pressed against it. Iilo came over to Tom to give him a chilly kiss.
"Hi!" Inaraa said before breezing by Tom up to the bedroom. She came back, dropping a few bags by the door. "Still not entirely finished packing. We can't take down our power sources until everyone's out. It's all connected."
Tom cupped Iilo's cheeks, rubbing his thumb back and forth. "You're ice." He wanted to reach out and pull Iilo's cold body to his own. He knew how much Iilo liked being warm. It was silly, objectively. Tom was stupid in love and he didn't even realize when it happened. He just woke up one day and never noticed how devoted he'd become.
"You're staring," Iilo said.
"Oh. Sorry." Tom cleared his throat, looking away. Standing up, he helped Inaraa with her bags, taking them from her arms. "I'll start loading up the car. Wanna help, Carlos?"
"Sure."
They were almost finished packing, the car stuffed nearly to the brim.
In Iilo's hands, he held his little box of missing persons. He walked slow to Tom, reverent. Everything he'd known since the kidnappings started was in that box. His relationship with Tom. His friends. His guilt. So much inside such a tiny box.
"You wanna bring that?" Tom asked. He'd respect it if Iilo did. Getting rid of something like that wasn't easy. There were memories in that box, and not just of the I'na who'd died. It's how their relationship had begun.
"No. But I don't know really what to do with it. I can't stop thinking I failed them. Like if I let them go, they'll be lost again."
Tom cupped Iilo's chilly cheeks. He'd come to adore touching Iilo's face. "They're not lost. You put them to rest."
"All for a fucking bomb." Iilo sneered, pulling back. "Nothing is worth a person's life."
Tom shoved his hands into his jacket. He leaned against his car, feeling the curve of the window. "Things aren't so black and white. Sometimes a person thinks they're doing good, but to get there they've gotta do something bad."
"If you have to compromise the very people you're protecting, you've already failed them." Iilo's ears twitched. He sighed, stroking a hand over the box. "My mom said that. We faced so many issues out in space. Food shortages. Life support breaking. War. Those were black spots."
"Black spots?"
"Bad times. Whatever." Iilo held the box to his chest. "People died."
Tom could only imagine the horror Iilo saw floating in space. He'd been desperate to survive all his life because that's all he ever knew. Now he'd had a chance to be something different. Something greater. But he had to lose so many to get here.
Tom didn't think an apology would be enough. He pulled Iilo to him, a one-handed hug that seemed so inadequate for the hurt that Iilo would forever carry. But then Iilo dropped the box. Its contents spilled out into the frozen grass. Photos twirled in the wind, scurrying away to new adventures.
Iilo clutched onto Tom, pushing his face into his chest. Tiny sniffles met Tom's ears. His blue fingers shook, digging into muscle. A lump formed in Tom's throat. He held onto Iilo tighter, kissing the crown of his head.
"Oh, Iilo," Tom said.
Iilo pulled back, wiping tears from his eyes. His nose was purple, his eyes puffy. He scrubbed his hands over his face and forced on a smile.
Tom smiled back, if only to humor him.
"We saved everyone else. But I'm not sure what to do with the rest of the pictures. I think I littered." Iilo laughed, his eyes watery. He'd been so attached to those pictures, each one a piece of Iilo's own heart. Now they'd been set free.
Tom chuckled. He pulled Iilo in by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him hard on the mouth. Their bodies slotted together, close and intimate. "It's okay. It's symbolic."
"What's symbolic?"
"The word or the act?"
"Yes?"
"Ha. Okay. Symbolism is like when something means something else. A cross in Christianity is symbolic for Jesus. Or the sun rising is symbolism for a new beginning. The act of letting the photos fly into the wind is symbolic of you letting go. Moving on."
"I should let them all go?" Iilo's eyes were round.
"If you want. We could do it together."
Iilo picked up the box and shuffled the remaining pictures. He handed some to Tom and kept a few for himself.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you. But I saved our people, so I hope you're not too angry."
Tom thought that was a good compromise. Though he wished no one had died, they'd managed to save some. Caleb's biggest mistake had been underestimating Iilo's strength. Underestimating how far Tom and Iilo would go because they cared for each other.
"Ready?" Iilo asked.
Tom nodded. They tossed the pictures up into the air, holding hands while the wind carried the faces of the I'na to every corner of the world.
Tom watched Iilo's gaze try to hold onto the pictures.
Tonight would be the first night Iilo called Tom's home his own. They would sit by the TV, watch the news with a homecooked meal. Tom would kiss Iilo. Again.
And again.
And again.