THE MOUNTAINS WE’VE been flying among are tall. Now we are halfway up the grandest of them, its heights wreathed in clouds.
“This is Mount Enshi,” Olus shouts. “Above it is Enshi Rock. I’ll clear the sky so you can see.”
Olus does his masma wind magic, and the clouds blow away. The mountain ends in the rounded mouth of a volcano. Above the volcano—above it! My fingers dig into Olus’s arm. Above the volcano, ivory and topaz cliffs rise in vertical shafts.
Enshi Rock floats in the sky.
I squeeze my eyes shut and open them. The rock is still floating. This is beyond a masma’s spell. Olus is a god!
I stiffen against him.
“There’s nothing to fear,” he shouts, holding me tighter.
I fear him, the god Olus.
Clouds return and hide the rock again. Olus mutters something. I crane my neck to see his face. He’s frowning. Is his wrath directed at me? Have I done something to offend him?
He says into my hair, “We’re almost there, my love.”
He isn’t angry at me.
We fly up Mount Enshi. I try to shrink into myself to create distance from him.
I want to pray, but to whom?
Fog curls around us. The wind that carries us slows. We hang in the clouds. I understand that we can’t rise farther.
He says, “I must not be a champion.”
How can a god not be a champion? I must not be a heroine.
As soon as we begin to descend, Olus’s winds are free again. We land on the lip of the volcano. I stumble away from him. “Forgive me . . . forgive me. . . .” I want to hide from his presence.
“Kezi! What is it?”
There’s nowhere to hide. There are only ashes and shiny black stones.
“Kezi!” He runs after me.
I can’t outrun a god. I throw myself on the rough ground.
“Don’t!” he yells. “Stand up!”
I stand.
“Look at me.”
I can’t meet his eyes. I stare a little to the side, as one does with Admat’s altar flame.
“Don’t worship me,” he begs. “I’m only Olus.”
No, he’s not. I begin to weep. Bending over, I sob and sink to my knees. I can’t help it, even though he commanded me to stand.
How can Admat be the one, the all, if Olus is a god too and there are many Akkan gods?
Admat is angry at the people of Hyte sometimes, but he loves us. Doesn’t he? He is with us every moment. Isn’t he? He is with me every moment.
Isn’t he?
Is he nowhere and nothing?
Am I alone?