Epilogue

Nemona

Oten and I spend the day acquainting his warriors with the Fellamana. They’re as shocked as they are intrigued by their lifestyle. Some of them even appear eager to…well, get down and dirty at the invitations from our new alien friends. It makes me wonder if all the Ssedez are as traditional and prone to monogamy as Oten, or if that’s just him.

The warriors are wary of me but cordial. Oten assures me they would never go against him and openly reject me, but it will take time before they accept me. Which is fine. My crew treated Oten far worse.

I communicate with Jenie via the commlink on my wrist. She’s mad as hell at me for disappearing. But I don’t feel guilty until she says, “I’ve been worried sick. The Ssedez escaped. Did he come after you?”

I didn’t tell her he was with me. Damn. “I am safe. With him, Jenie. He’s my friend.”

Oten grunts beside me and gives me this look like, Is that a joke?

I take a deep breath. “Jenie, there’s a lot I haven’t told you.” Like the fact I’m not human anymore. “And I need you to listen with an open mind.”

“A Ssedez ship landed this morning,” she says with some panic. “Did you see it? Are they after you?”

“No, they’re…” I decide the best way to communicate how deeply I’m in this is to turn on the vid lens and show her what I look like. I select the button, and Jenie’s image pops up in the miniature screen on my wrist.

I get to witness her shocked expression and gasp at my new appearance. I hadn’t expected to feel hurt, but I do. I’ve made this change with pride, and I want it to be a happy thing where people congratulate me. I need to accept that joy isn’t going to be anyone’s first reaction.

Beside me, Oten clasps my free hand. He knows. He shares my joy. That’s what matters.

“Nemona,” Jenie breathes in a frightened whisper. “What did they do to you?”

I tell her the whole story: Oten’s misunderstanding in thinking we were Ten Systems, how he accidentally turned me Ssedez the first time, how remorseful Oten is now that he knows our true mission. Then I drop the bomb that despite everything, I am in love with him and I chose to let him change me.

It’s a relief to tell someone, and even though Jenie is skeptical, she listens without interrupting.

“You have some time to digest all of this,” I conclude. “I’m going with Oten to his world to retrieve all the supplies we’ll need to repair the Origin.”

“He’s going to help us?”

“To make amends for his mistake in attacking us, yes. We are going to be allies.” I say it with the stern authority. There will be no argument on this when I get back.

I expect some pushback, a defensive response.

She’s quiet for a moment, examining me, mulling my words. “Do you want backup?”

“For what?”

“To accompany you. Shall I send some of our crew with you? No matter how much you trust him, I’d rather you weren’t alone.” She wouldn’t say that unless she believed me. She trusts me. She’s not clouded with judgment over my choices.

I should’ve known she’d react so well. This is Jenie after all, and I’m a little ashamed at my lack of faith in her. “Thank you. I appreciate that, but we need to leave tonight. I’ll return as soon as I can. We need the Origin back in the air.”

“Yes, we do.” She scrubs a hand over her face. “This is all great news, I suppose. It’s just going to take some time to sink in. So you’re staying with the—Felanema?”

“The Fellamana. Yes. They’re a generous peace-loving people.”

“Have you—I mean—there was one of them who was here. I think.” She bites her lip as though holding back something.

I crack a half smile, unsure if I should let her know I witnessed her “greeting” with Koviye that night. “Koviye is here. I’m sure he’ll come back. He’s our translator after all. You’ll see him again.”

“Oh.” She clears her throat and says too quickly, “It makes no difference to me if he comes back. I just wanted to know if you’d met him.”

She wishes me luck on my journey, and I promise to contact her as soon as I return.

My final communications complete, Oten makes the decision that Gahnin along with a group of warriors will remain with the Fellamana to become acquainted and build alliances between their species.

I’m sure the warriors will enjoy the delights of the Fellamana immensely.

Except for one. I’m surprised that Gahnin wants to stay since he’s as stalwart and uninterested in their charms as Oten. But it’s agreed on, and, before dark, we take off for Oten’s home without Gahnin.

I ask Oten why he left him behind when they seem so close.

“For one, he is my second-in-command,” Oten says but looks away without finishing.

“And the other reason?”

He places a hand on my shoulder. “Gahnin’s mate died. He’s been alone for a century. Seeing me with you is difficult for him in ways that have nothing to do with which species you are. There’s also the fact that his mate was killed by humans during the war.”

I rub my face. “I can definitely see why he wouldn’t want to be around me just now.”

We strap into comfortable seats for takeoff. The ship is vastly different from the Ten Systems’ ships, the only ones I’ve ever known. Those were utilitarian, metal, gray, no decorations, serving only efficient military purpose.

The Ssedez ship is designed with care and detail, decorated with paints and patterns, adorned with art and furniture, all reflective of a rich culture. I’d be in awe if I wasn’t so anxious.

I’m filled with a dread though, as we’re leaving the atmosphere—what if all this unfailing desire I’m feeling for Oten is just because of Fyrian? Off the planet, my military bioengineering could reassert itself, stealing my sexual desire with it—the way I’ve lived for a decade and a half.

Oten reaches for my hand. The ship groans from takeoff, too loudly for me to hear his voice as it breaks through the planet’s atmosphere, but he gives me a calming look. Almost like he can read my fear about whether or not we’ll feel the same when freed of the desire toxins.

There’s a fierceness to his gaze, a certainty. His feelings will remain unchanged, and I believe him. I trust him. It’s my body I don’t trust.

The ship’s acceleration reaches a peak then skyrockets into the weightlessness of space—and goes silent.

I love that, the experience of leaving a planet and entering the infinite. But I don’t get time to enjoy it.

An alert sounds beside Oten, and he presses a button. An image of Gahnin pops onto the console screen, and Oten greets him in Ssedez.

Gahnin’s expression is tight with anxiety. “General Nemona, another human has wandered in from the jungle. She is far gone with the fever of the desidre, and the Fellamana are taking her to receive medical care.”

I sit up closer to the screen. “Is she there? Can I see her?”

He turns his device to the side and an image of an unconscious human woman, sweat running down her face, her complexion pinkened as though overheated. I recognize her and relief fills my chest.

“Assura!” I brush my fingers over the screen wishing I could touch her. “Oh, thank gods. Gahnin, will she live?”

He turns the camera back on himself. “I believe so.”

Oten speaks up. “Gahnin, stay with her. You hear me? You will watch over her care personally. When she is healed, you will accompany her return to the humans.”

A grimace flashes over Gahnin’s face, but he recovers his composure. “Understood.”

They hang up, and I glance at the commlink still on my wrist. “I should’ve left this so they could communicate with my crew. I can’t even tell Jenie that Assura is alive, because it’s out of range off-planet.”

“Do you want to turn back?”

“No. Koviye will show Gahnin where to take Assura.”

Oten rests his hand on my leg. “She’ll be all right.”

But I’m not listening to his words. I stare at his hand, the heat of his palm radiating onto my leather-clad thigh and traveling to my center. It storms through my core and reawakens my desire as though I haven’t had sex with him in weeks. Or ever.

I feel my fangs lowering. They prick my lip, and I glance at his throat. I want to pierce him, to devour him. And then I want him to fuck me until there is nothing separating us. No fears about his people or mine, of whether they will accept us, of whether we are making the right decisions to lead them. All of that gone, lost in the thrill of his body taking over mine.

Him in me and I in him.

I guess my worry about my bioengineering interfering with my sex drive was baseless.

“See,” his tone comes in a guttural rasp. “Nothing to worry about.” He slips his fingers in my hair and urges my mouth toward his throat.

Not only does this desire never wane, it’s endless. It’ll take more than a lifetime to slake it. Good thing I’m Ssedez now, and I’ve got ten lifetimes.

It still won’t be enough.

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