Acknowledgments

It took me a long time to get here, and I’m surprised this is happening. Granted, since living with a disability is slow-going and life in general is treacherous, I could maybe say that every time I walk into a room or have a new experience. But I have wanted to have a book published with my name on the cover, shelved alphabetically in a library or bookstore, since I first read Ramona the Brave and realized that Beverly Cleary had my initials. Since then, the dream lingered in the back of my head, feeling so impossible sometimes that it was hard to keep hold of it amid doubts and insecurity.

When you don’t see yourself as remarkable, it is useful to surround yourself with people who believe in your strengths more than you do. My parents and my brother Dan believed in my talents and nurtured them, from buying me Ramona books to listening to me ramble for hours when I couldn’t ever make a simple decision without endless, soul-crushing worrying. My thanks have to start with them. They earned dibs.

Of course, when praise comes from your family, it isn’t easy to believe—particularly if your brain is unfair to you. (My brain was very unkind when I was a teenager, and it still can be.) To combat that, I recommend that you surround yourself with other supportive people. Maybe they like you. Maybe they like your work. Maybe they see your potential. They are the ones who will demand that you stick around long enough to give them hugs, share that coffee or finish that story. The love of others helps combat the doubts you may have about your own worth.

I met my best friend Vickye Shotton in high school, and the value that she has added to my life and work is beyond measure. For ages, she has been the first and most important reader of any new story I’ve tried. She makes me a better person and a better artist with every conversation. Her friendship enriches my life. Her notes enrich my work. This novel happened because of her.

Special thanks go to her mom Donna Shotton, as well, for her nursing expertise. I couldn’t have killed a guy without her.

Thanks to Jessica Nettles, Carrie Gibson, Nathan Brown, Gregg van Laningham, Jared van Aalten, Nathan Spicer, Jason Morin, Richard Nenoff, Justin Barisich, Mauree Culberson, Josh McTeer, Alayna Huft Tucker, Lisa Hunt Kuebler, Bran Peacock, Carmen Tanner Slaughter, Crystal O’Leary-Davidson and Daniel Lamb for their attention as this work developed.

For their love and friendship, thanks to Stephen Wilczak, JD Dreiling, Blake Ussery, Lacee Aderhold, Bryan Edwards, Jennifer Resendez, Gary Anthony, Jonathan Lupo, Kenn Archibald, Samantha Carr, Shannon Carr, Holly Kessler, Trista Todt, Greg and Tara Lineweaver, Hyuna Sung, Debbie and Cleve Stanfield, Katherine George, Bryan and Anna Pritchett, Chris Stanford, Holly Steel, Vicki Franch, C.J. Spraggins, Elizabeth Perry, Christina Gentry, Steven Igarashi-Ball and Dena Beck.

Special thanks to Jon Carr, Randy Osborne, Joyce Mitchell, Theresa Davis, Jon Goode, Will Young, Katie Steenerson, Ashley Robinson, Ian Campbell, Ben Bowlin, Brandi Supra, Nicki Salcedo, Lauren Vogelbaum, Jerad Alexander, Nicholas Tecosky, Myke Johns, Gina Rickicki, Bernard Setaro Clark, Jack Walsh, Dani Herd, David Bruckner, Tricia Stearns, Michael Henry Harris, Samantha Thomson LoCoco, Daniel and Kate Guyton, Celeste Campbell, Adam and Angela Kaylor, Jyll Thomas, Liesel Sloan, Miles Cliatt, Arian Gulick, Claire Christie, Jeremiah Prescott, Michael Haverty, Dave Ferris, Pat Young, Suehyla El-Attar, Amber Nash, George Faughnan, Z Gillispie, Matt Horgan, Randy Havens, Ed Morgan, Tom Rittenhouse, Rueben Medina, Diana Lancaster, Alex Ridgeway, David Russell, Winston Blake Wheeler Ward, Joanie Drago, Joe Davich, Scott Gassman, Denise Mount and Sarah Beth Nelson. I am grateful to call the Atlanta arts community my home.

Bonus points go to the Dunkin Donuts on North Druid Hills Road, where I wrote this.

Topher Payne is a wonderful friend and a tremendous artist. Thank you for your love and for designing my book cover.

Thanks to Brian Panowich, Katy Miles, Grant Jerkins, Larry Corse, Conrad Fink, Richard Neupert, Tray Butler, Sarah Shope, Latoya Smith, Stephen Lee and Emily Giffin for the encouragement.

Thank you to Elaine Cleveland, Anne Day, Pat Nash, Gail Aiken, Marjorie Wilson, Chris Fowler, Ashley Newman, Bonnie Davis and Debbie Hall—and my hometown of Buford—for teaching me valuable lessons. Thank you to my friends at the Phi Kappa Literary Society and The Red & Black for transforming my entire life’s path at the University of Georgia.

The Broadleaf Writers Association is a wonderful, inspiring organization, and I am grateful to be a part of it. The annual Broadleaf Writers Conference changed my life. Impacted is in front of you because of the encouragement and friendship of Zachary Steele.

Finally, without the time and attention of John Adcox and Lou Aronica, from Gramarye Media and The Story Plant, a rough draft of this novel would be collecting dust at the bottom of a desk drawer. Instead, thanks to you, it’s on a shelf with the likes of Beverly Cleary, though probably in a much different section than Ramona the Brave.

Much gratitude,

Benji Carr

Oct. 12, 2020