Week
19

Listen to Feedback and
Use It to Your Advantage

AFFIRMATIONS

for

Meditation and Reflection

I am welcoming, appreciating, and using the feedback I get, and I accept it as a valuable gift.

I am openly listening to feedback, while at the same time listening to what my body, my feelings, and my instincts are telling me.

I am happily adjusting my behavior and moving forward as I apply the feedback I get from others.

Feedback is the breakfast of champions.

—KEN BLANCHARD AND SPENCER JOHNSON
Coauthors of The One Minute Manager

It’s human nature to want only positive feedback from others, but there’s also great value in constructive negative feedback that can be crucial to your success.

Positive feedback comes in the form of things that make you happy: a raise or promotion at work, surpassing your sales quota, finding balance and inner peace, a loving touch, or making the bestseller list. These things not only make you happy, but they indicate that you are on the right course and making progress.

Negative feedback, on the other hand, comes in the form of things that make you unhappy: being broke, conflict at home, an unexpected breakup, loss of a job, and inner discord. But these things hold value for you, too, if you heed them and are willing to make adjustments in your thinking and your behavior. Maybe you missed a turn in the road somewhere, or you veered offtrack. In order for you to be successful, you’ll have to learn to pay attention and respond appropriately to all the feedback in your life—both positive and negative—because it will teach you what you are doing right, what you are doing wrong, and what changes you need to make.

I am welcoming, appreciating, and using the feedback I get, and I accept it as a valuable gift.

Let’s talk today about the value of verbal and nonverbal feedback, keeping in mind what we already learned about positive and negative feedback.

Nonverbal feedback comes through body language, actions and attitudes. Have you ever been to a baseball game and by the 7th inning the place has cleared out? That’s feedback in action—the fans are saying that they’re more interested in avoiding traffic than watching their home team lose. Here’s a less obvious example: Have you ever closed a big sale only to find out your new customer placed his next order with a competitor? That’s nonverbal feedback telling you that something’s wrong. (It should also be telling you to pick up the phone and find out what happened.)

Verbal feedback comes in the form of others talking to you. Let’s say you’re late again for a meeting and your boss reprimands you in front of your coworkers. That’s some serious feedback that’s coming in “loud and clear.”

But the best type of verbal feedback is the kind you initiate yourself: when you ask your boss about the quality of your work, when you ask your customer what you can do to make his job easier, when you ask your spouse how you can be more attentive or helpful around the house. Seems like a no-brainer, right? Make a commitment today to listen—and respond—to all types of feedback: positive, negative, internal, and external.

I am openly listening to feedback, while at the same time listening to what my body, my feelings, and my instincts are telling me.

L

et’s look at some of the unproductive ways we respond to feedback.

• Giving Up: Feedback is simply information—consider it corrective instead of critical and don’t take it so personally. Think of it as a caution sign, not a stop sign.
• Getting mad: Surely you can recall times when you turned hostile toward someone who gave you feedback that you didn’t like. Don’t miss out on a relationship and useful information because you don’t like what you hear.
• Ignoring the feedback: You know those people who don’t listen to any point of view unless it conforms to their own? Don’t be like them. Feedback could significantly transform your life if you would only listen and respond.

Finally, keep two other points in mind—especially if you’re trying to create a winning product, relationship, or service.

• Some feedback is just wrong. Is the person giving it to you angry, resentful, egotistical, or vengeful? Be sure that the person giving you the feedback has your best interest at heart.
• Is there a pattern? If other people are giving you the same feedback, don’t ignore it. Give up your need to be right and listen to legitimate feedback.

I am happily adjusting my behavior and moving forward as I apply the feedback I get from others.