Have a Heart Talk
AFFIRMATIONS
for
Meditation and Reflection
I am creating a deeper level of connection and intimacy by freely expressing my true feelings.
As I participate in a Heart Talk, I am experiencing a deeper level of listening and a release of unexpressed emotions.
I am feeling free and optimistic as I willingly let go of any resentments and old issues during a Heart Talk.
Most communication resembles a Ping-Pong game in which people are merely preparing to slam their next point across.
—CLIFF DURFEE
Creator of the Heart Talk process
One of my favorite stories is about Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era, who one day welcomed a professor who came to inquire about Zen. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he could no longer restrain himself from saying, “It’s overfull. No more will go in!”
“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”
In far too many homes, businesses, schools, and other settings, there is no opportunity for people to express their feelings—their hopes, dreams, pains, and fears. As a result, they become filled beyond capacity until they are overflowing with their own priorities, problems, and worries.
People can’t listen when they are bursting at the seams. They need an outlet to release their emotions before they can take in anything else. They need to open up and get what’s bothering them off their chest in order to create space to listen and process what you have to say. You, and they, need a Heart Talk.
I am creating a deeper level of connection and intimacy by freely expressing my true feelings.
A Heart Talk is a process where eight agreements are strictly adhered to among 2 to 10 people—a larger group diminishes trust and can take a long time to complete. A Heart Talk supports constructive discussion of feelings and issues that limit creativity, teamwork and innovation. Heart Talks promote productivity and camaraderie and goodwill, which are vital to every organization and home.
A Heart Talk facilitates a deep level of communication without the fear of condemnation, interpretation, or being rushed. It’s a powerful tool for bringing unexpressed emotions to the surface and developing rapport, understanding, and intimacy.
Heart Talks can be conducted for many purposes and are useful in finding solutions for a wide range of challenges, but they should be implemented before too much damage is done:
As I participate in a Heart Talk, I am experiencing a deeper level of listening and a release of unexpressed emotions.
Are you ready to have your first Heart Talk? Here’s how to facilitate one.
Have everyone sit in a circle or at a table, where the guidelines are introduced or repeated. The group’s leader holds a small heart-shaped object. Pass the object around the circle as many times as necessary to ensure everyone has had time and a chance to share. A Heart Talk will end naturally when the “heart” has made a complete circle without anyone having something more to say. These are the guidelines:
A Heart Talk will create amazing results in a group: the safe expression of feelings, the “letting go” of resentments and old issues, the opening of a space to resolve conflict, constructive ideas, mutual respect, understanding, and a more connected group.
I am feeling free and optimistic as I willingly let go of any resentments and old issues during a Heart Talk.