I STRUGGLED not to feel like a rube fresh from a backwater planet somewhere, but in fact that’s exactly what I was. Never mind that I was royalty; I felt gauche and naive among the various pilots, space cowboys, and the artificial world that revolved around them.
Griffin and I had remained holed up in our lodging well into the following day before we’d finally sated our lust and slept off our exhaustion. Hours had been spent making love and memories. He’d taken me fast and hard on the sofa in the living area, slow and leisurely in the oversized bathtub. He’d roused me in the middle of the night with soft touches not meant to incite passion. Griffin was simply reassuring himself that I was there and real.
Those hours were precious. He fed and loved me with his body and his actions. Griffin braided my hair and then oiled my skin, rubbing my aching muscles till I was nearly mindless with lazy arousal. I’d collapsed amid the pillows, my hand buried in his thick hair as he sucked me off with drugging deliberation. That two-room suite will forever represent Paradise in my heart.
Business finally drove us out of our room and into the vibrant world of the space station. Prostitutes strolled the halls—male, female, and otherwise. They openly displayed their faces and weren’t accompanied by owners or pimps. They owned themselves. They had licenses and a guild that protected their interests. A few of the more elite wore dangling bracelets with charms denoting accomplishments. I was told they were members of the Guild of the Bacchi. Those exquisite creatures were more courtesans than prostitutes, accomplished in arts other than sex.
Stores and restaurants dotted the hallways, and various businesses clustered together based on their purpose. The lawyers were conveniently housed near the agricultural sales offices, and banks weren’t far from either. Lower down, department stores were shoulder to shoulder with cafes and restaurants. The bawdier drinking establishments were several floors down, near the hourly hotels. Some things were universal. The place was a bustling hive of activity, almost overwhelming once we left the quiet of the hotel floors.
Griffin and I ended up in a low-key restaurant, not too highbrow, but not a dive either. I was uneasily aware that my appearance was drawing looks from passersby and patrons alike, but after a few moments, the novelty wore off, and I began to ignore the looks. As long as the hair cascaded down my back, I’d be drawing attention. When a drunken pilot lurched in our direction, my lover growled, giving him the full force of his one-eyed glare.
Problem solved. Though I rather wished I could once again grow a beard.
The food was hearty and tasted excellent even to my discriminating palate. If U’shma had given me anything, it was an appreciation of fine food. We ate, and I found myself watching the people around me. I gazed at the décor of the restaurant, even the movement of the waitstaff. I was starved for new sights and sounds. Griffin watched me as a parent watches a child, with quiet amusement and affection. He answered my questions patiently and allowed me to pay the bill so I could grow accustomed to handling money and interacting with people in a normal fashion. Showing my face, meeting the eyes of others, kept me slightly on edge. My training was deeply ingrained.
Once we finished at the restaurant, we strolled, and I spent hours looking into shop windows, gazing out the observation ports, and simply experiencing the novelty of freedom. All the while Griffin was watching out for my safety.
We finally stopped at the farm bureau and arranged for the immediate transport of a shipment of grain, fruits, vegetables, and meat to the home planet. I still thought it odd that the planet didn’t have a name, just a designation number: HP1500. To me, that sounded like a piece of equipment. I began to wrack my brain for appropriate planet names. It was more difficult than it seemed; you don’t go about naming a planet the same way you would name a dog.
As Griffin settled in to negotiate with the farm agent, I strayed into the corridors, watching the crowds and listening to multitudes of unfamiliar languages. Most were humanoids, but there were some strange species I’d never seen before. Some looked human but had unusual coloring or markings on their skin. I saw more than one wearing environmental masks; obviously the oxygen-rich station was hostile to their systems.
As I walked, a tingle up my spine spoke of company—possibly dangerous company. I came to a stop and leaned up against the wall so I could watch both directions. I folded my arms, a hand on the pommel of the sword I’d insisted on carrying.
Energy and projectile weapons were expressly forbidden on the station, but many wore blades. I was uncomfortably aware of the fact that my hands were still stiff and sore and that the slender blade I wore belonged to Griffin. Still, I’d face the challenge head-on. I propped a booted heel against the wall, ready to kick away for a little extra drive. The adrenaline spike began its normal reaction in my system. My muscles started to ache, and I took deep breaths, allowing my brain to disengage from the crisis.
It was Tomas’s bodyguard, Carlotta. She wore a stunning red dress suit that skimmed her sleek, dangerous body. She was still heavily armed, and she approached me with a smile.
“I expected you’d be helpless without your watchdog, but your senses are good. Though I’m surprised that your bodyguard left you unattended.”
I remembered the role I’d adopted in our meeting the other day. “Perhaps he’s not the guard.”
She rolled her eyes, smiling slightly. She glanced down at my hands, which were still healing. Still, I wasn’t going to admit anything.
I relaxed a bit, noting that the corridor was quiet and had little traffic. Not a good place for me in an ambush, but I didn’t get the impression that she was here for a fight.
“He isn’t my guard, Carlotta. We’re partners.”
She cocked a brow at that. “Lovers, I’d imagine, but partners? He walks just behind you and to the right, keeping his blade hand free. He’s your guard.”
I chose not to answer.
“Sleeping with the bodyguard is dangerous for both.”
She had a point there. Ostensibly, Griffin was my guard, but I’d take a blade for him. In fact, with the imprint still active, I’d do pretty much anything for the man. In a sense, I was still a slave.
“Your point?”
“Are you hiring?”
My jaw probably hit the floor at that. “Weren’t you employed just last time I saw you?”
“Yes, but Tomas forgot to mention all the services he expected me to provide. I had to remind him—rather forcibly—that I don’t provide sex. He was more than a little intrigued by your performance and expected me to relieve him.”
I straightened up from the wall and began to walk slowly. She fell into step beside me.
“He tried to rape you?”
“I suppose that’s the appropriate term.”
She was tall, and in her heels, came just inches short of my height. It wasn’t the sort of clothing she’d wear to work in—was she wearing an interview suit?
“Why us?” I asked.
“You two are so infatuated with each other, neither of you will be looking at me in a sexual sense. Well, maybe you will, but not enough to bother me.”
I grinned. She was right on the mark with that comment. She was exactly the sort of woman I’d like in my bed if that space wasn’t already occupied.
“Besides, I know who you are.”
That brought me to a dead halt. I turned, my hand on the sword.
“What?”
She smiled slowly, and I was acutely aware that the hall was now empty. This was an access corridor with little traffic. I was mere yards from Griffin, but it might as well have been miles. Adrenaline caused my skin to prickle, and the chip responded by settling heavy fatigue through my muscles.
Regardless of my skills, I’d never be able to defend myself against this woman. Not like this.
She dropped her hands to the front of her body, showing me they were empty of weapons. “I did the background check on Griffin Hawke and Markus Dayspring for Tomas. And yes, your cousin is very similar in appearance to you, but I used recognition software to verify your identity, Your Highness.”
“I’m not the king.”
“No, the king is missing. He’s been missing for years now. I imagine his return would cause chaos, not only among his people, but among those who betrayed him on Arash.”
“I thought the people of Talis have been enslaved by the Landauns.” I searched my memories for any information about the Talisians. Griffin had been slowly sharing the history of our people. He took my reeducation seriously, and now, I was deeply grateful for that knowledge.
“Some. Not all. There are those who rose to positions of power within their new situation. And there are those who managed to escape the planet.”
I didn’t know what to say. She’d know if I lied, and if I agreed, I’d confirm my identity. I’d be exposed soon enough anyway.
“Why? Why do you wish to serve me and Griffin? Our people are destitute. Our new planet is a wasteland. We have to sell our few precious items merely to feed our people.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Griffin approaching; his very aura promised violence. I shot him a look, pleading for restraint. Carlotta looked at him and then back at me. She waited to speak until he was at my side.
She tilted her chin in a slight gesture of defiance. But she’d gone pale.
“I was eighteen when my father sat down with the Landaun. They promised great things for our people—new technology and powerful weaponry. They promised him power. The rest of my family objected. We had no ill will toward your people beyond our different belief systems. But my father saw only the lure of power and riches.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “On my twenty-first birthday, my father lay dying in his own throne room. His last hour of life was spent watching the slaughter of his family. He was forced to watch the rape of his wife and daughters. I was left for dead, tangled amid the bodies of my brothers and sisters.”
I glanced up at Griffin. He watched Carlotta with an expression of cold distrust. I also noticed that he constantly watched the hall. She also noticed.
“There are cameras on this corridor, but no audio. I hacked the system earlier to find the quiet zones in the port.”
She was good. Very good.
Griffin looked at her fully, his gaze steady, his body poised for violence. “You are Carlotta Berne. Princess Carlotta Berne Trey, of the Kingdom of Talis.”
She bowed her head to Griffin. “And you are Captain Griffin Hawke of the Royal Guard of Astrum. You are the bodyguard of Prince Helios.”
He went stiff but remained otherwise still and quiet. I wished he’d speak. Was it safe to betray my loss of memory to a woman who had once been our enemy?
“Carlotta wishes to enter our employ,” I said.
Griffin cocked a heavy brow.
“She believes our involvement with each other is a liability. You’re too focused on me to do your job, and I’m too attached to you to allow you to do it.”
Glancing at the deposed princess, Griffin nodded in agreement. He looked humbled, which wasn’t a good look on him.
“I haven’t yet discovered why she’d be willing to work for her former enemy.” I looked at her and waited. She appeared calm and steady but betrayed her nerves with a slight fluttering of her lashes. It was a miniscule tell.
“After the invasion, I’d been living with a small band of refugees. We scrabbled to survive, to stay hidden from the marauding Landauns as they marched to war against the Astrum. Women were at particular risk, even from the surviving men of our kingdom. I’d been raised to the sword and taught the women in the group the best I could. There were soldiers among our number, and they taught skills to fight and survive. We scavenged battlefields for weapons and armor. Early one morning, we came upon a small band of Landauns. They had energy weapons, while we were armed only with blades. Many of my fighters fell. But the Landauns didn’t kill us; they meant to capture us once again. We’d be used as slave labor and prostitutes.
“It seemed all was lost when a small army of soldiers emerged from the surrounding forests. They were led by a man with hair the color of flame. I knew he was Helios Dayspring. Even in hiding, we’d heard that the Sun Priest had been leading raids against the Landauns, keeping them disorganized and confused.
“They flanked the Landauns, allowing us to escape. My greatest wish was to have fought at your side, among your warriors as a sworn ally. That day my wish was fulfilled, if only for a few hours.”
I was speechless. It seemed Griffin was too, as he simply stood glaring at the woman. Her honesty was irrelevant to my captain; he saw only a member of the House of Talis. Our betrayers.
“And where are those who fought with you?”
She gave me a slow smile. “Around. Some settled on other planets. Some are earning their living as I do, as a mercenary. Others have been… strategically placed.”
“You are still a unit?” Griffin sounded somewhat intrigued.
“All my soldiers are on standby.”
“For what?” I asked.
She looked at me steadily. “For the return of the Dayspring. We’ve been waiting for you, King Helios. Your return will not be easy or safe. You are different than you were then, but I watched you the other day. You are different, but still yourself. I offer my services and those of my team.”
I felt I’d been punched in the gut. Even Griffin let out a whoosh of breath.
“How many? And what is your training?” All his attention was on her now.
She answered him, and in that moment, a frisson of understanding settled between those two. She might be the enemy, she might be royalty, but they understood each other. They served a common purpose. They were soldiers, both sworn—to me. Panic rattled in my chest.
“We are down to seventy-five men and women in the field, all fully trained in blade, hand-to-hand, and energy beam weaponry. I don’t have the military background that you do, Captain, but we took a page from the book of this one.” She nodded at me. I just kept my mouth shut.
“We survived largely by adopting guerilla tactics. I can have a private guard of at least seven meet us within a week. The others will take longer to recall. Some I’d prefer to leave in their current positions.”
“Spies?”
Carlotta nodded. “They are observing the Landauns and pursuing a few surviving traitors.” I got the feeling those traitors would never see trial.
“Griffin, shouldn’t we take this conversation elsewhere?” I was feeling a bit itchy standing in the access corridor of the space station, discussing what amounted to state secrets. If I was the missing heir to the kingdom of the Astrum, Carlotta was the heir to the throne of Talis. We were a very dangerous pair.
“Can I give you two a word of advice?”
We looked across the hall at where Carlotta casually leaned against the wall.
“Get your stuff and get out. Tomas will be… incapacitated for a while, but he’s certain you have more candar, or at least information about where he can access it. I’m not sure he believed your story about it being part of your royal treasury.” She crossed her arms, one hand on the handle of a blaster she’d hidden. She’d managed to smuggle an energy weapon onto the station. Very clever.
“You didn’t buy the story either,” I said.
She gave me a small, rather sad smile. “My father made it his business to know as much as possible about your kingdom. I don’t recall him speaking about crystal candar. Your treasury consisted mostly of precious metals. I assume you acquired the gemstones elsewhere. They’re uncut roughs, so you must have gotten them near the source, before they came under the control of the cartels. If you have more, the two of you are in over your heads. You need to get off this station.”
“We need to leave soon anyway. Can you meet us at our cruiser? It seems we have much to discuss.” Griffin paused. “And you’re hired.”
My heart dropped just a bit at Griffin’s words. I knew we’d have to leave eventually but had hoped for more time. Alone.
They exchanged information while I stifled my disappointment. I’d cherished the hours on the station with Griffin, falling asleep with him at my side and waking in his arms. My mind flinched away from the days ahead. Ignorance gave me a certain measure of comfort. Once my memories returned, who would I be? Would my feelings change toward Griffin?
Would I be any more worthy to step up, to offer myself to the people who might wish me to be their king?
These thoughts kept me occupied as we returned to the room and quickly packed our belongings.
We were both uncomfortably aware of the precious stones in our possession. They represented hope but also held the potential for disaster. The case felt much heavier now than it had just one day ago.
Griffin fastened the case he’d been packing. “I’ll be hearing from the council soon. They’ll want to know why I haven’t sold all the material.”
“Tell them there’s been an unexpected development and that you’re returning early.”
“They don’t understand, Lio. They don’t understand that we now live in a world that is so much larger, so much more dangerous than anything we knew at home.”
We took the elevator down and checked out of the hotel. I turned and looked at the subtly luxurious lobby. I wanted to go back upstairs. I wanted to stay there and never leave. We had the stones—
But no. I couldn’t. I couldn’t hide from what waited for me. I didn’t want to be like my uncle.
When… if I became king, I didn’t want to be that sort of ruler. I wanted to know what and who was out there. I didn’t want to look to the sky and believe the universe revolved around our little planet, our tiny sun. That might have been the way of my uncle, but it was not my way.
I’d traveled among the stars. I no longer worshipped the sun.
AFTER BOARDING a lift, we were silent until we entered the docks and boarded the Aida. As the access door swung closed, I released a sigh of relief. Even then, we didn’t speak until Griffin completed a security scan.
I quickly unpacked and then stepped to the doorway of the bridge. “Do you trust her, Griffin?”
He’d started a systems check, moving from screen to screen as he spoke.
“Trust is always a gamble, Lio. How do you feel about her?”
“God, Grif, I have no memory of her. There’s no proof that what she’s saying is true. But we could use her.”
“We could use her mercenaries.” He swiveled his seat to face me. Under the cool light of the bridge, the hard planes of his face were set off in high contrast; the black eye patch looked like a pit in his face. “I do recognize her from the visits between kingdoms. Your wife… Cloris….” He broke off and sighed. “Cloris was from their kingdom. She was accused of leaking information about us to Carlotta’s father.”
“My wife was a spy?” Why didn’t that surprise me? Was that knowledge there in my memory, waiting to be rediscovered? There was a greater surprise to come.
“Helios, Carlotta was Cloris’s younger sister. She was your sister-in-law.”
All right, now I’d officially reached the “too much information” point. My brain simply didn’t want to continue to process that much intrigue. I couldn’t connect the brazen bodyguard with the mother of my son. Predictably, the muscles of my entire body went heavy and weak, and my thoughts grew hazy.
“Helios…. Lio!” A slight shake on my shoulder brought me about. I looked at Griffin. He looked slightly panicked. “She’s on her way. You need to pull it together. We need to make this decision, and now.”
I didn’t think; I simply reacted.
“We need her.”
“That’s your instinct?”
I nodded. “When I think, I get fuzzy. When I ask the question, the answer is yes.”
He looked steadily at me. “I trust your instincts. You need to trust them as well.”
I rose and headed back to the small cabins. “I’ll get Markus’s cabin cleared out. I won’t be needing it anyway.”
The look he gave me was hot, and even as my heart accelerated, my cock expressed its interest in my wayward thoughts. There wouldn’t be time for sex anytime soon. I’d have to hang on to my few memories of my time with Griffin and hope they would carry me through.