Chapter Twenty

He is my heart’s desire. I know that now at long last.

—Lily to Fanny

Desperation beset Lily all the way to Heath’s house in Bedford Square and only escalated when she arrived. A jaunty lady’s phaeton stood out in front, the dashing pair of grays held by a liveried groom.

Wondering if the phaeton belonged to Heath’s new betrothed, Lady Eleanor, Lily descended from the hack and forced herself to approach the front door, where she applied the knocker.

At least the Claybourne butler recognized her and admitted her without question. Yet the hollow ache in her stomach intensified when she was shown into a different room than before—a large masculine chamber that was obviously the master’s study.

Lady Eleanor was there, lounging on a plush leather sofa while reading, her legs curled comfortably beneath her as if she belonged there as mistress of the house.

Utterly dismayed, Lily halted on the threshold, wondering if she should turn and flee before she was noticed. But then the butler announced her, and she had no choice but to step into the room.

Heath was seated at a massive desk, writing with a quill pen. Upon Lily’s entrance, he raised his head and studied her for a long moment. She couldn’t read his expression at all; his face was completely enigmatic, just as it had been yesterday.

Lily’s heart sank even lower, if that were possible.

She barely heard Lady Eleanor say in a pleasant tone, “Miss Loring, how good it is to see you again.”

Striving futilely for composure, Lily murmured a polite reply as she curtsied. But she immediately turned her attention back to Heath. “Might I have a word with you in private, my lord?”

Still watching her, he shrugged his powerful shoulders. “Why in private? I doubt you have anything to say to me that Eleanor cannot hear.”

Lily regarded him with mingled anguish and frustration. “I saw the announcement of your betrothal,” she finally said.

To her surprise and vexation, Lady Eleanor replied for him. “I gather you have some objection to our betrothal, Miss Loring?”

“Yes…I do.” As she faced the raven-haired beauty, Lily clenched her fists, girding her loins, so to speak. “You cannot have him, Lady Eleanor. He is already spoken for.”

Eleanor’s eyebrows shot up. “You are laying claim to my dear Heath?”

“I am,” Lily said fiercely.

The soft smile of satisfaction that touched Eleanor’s lips was utterly puzzling. “I told you so,” she said cryptically, glancing over at Heath. “You owe me that magnificent chestnut stallion of yours.”

He nodded briefly. “Whatever you wish, minx,” he replied, never taking his eyes off Lily. “Now, if you don’t mind…”

Eleanor laughed at his thinly veiled prodding. “Very well, I know when I am unwanted. I will leave you two to sort out your affairs.”

Rising, Eleanor collected her book and pelisse and reticule without another word, but as she passed Lily, her smile was warm and kind, and she murmured, “Good luck,” as if she truly meant to wish Lily well.

Bewildered, Lily turned back to Heath. He had risen to his feet but remained behind his desk. She took a step closer, her heart thudding, her knees weak, her stomach tied in knots.

“What did she mean?” Lily asked unsteadily, “when she said ‘I told you so’?”

“It is no matter. Why are you here, Lily?”

His tone was hardly encouraging. She hesitated a long moment before replying, “To put an end to your betrothal. You cannot marry Lady Eleanor.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want to be your wife.”

The interval before Heath spoke seemed interminable. “Indeed. What caused your change of heart? I seem to recall asking you to marry me numerous times, and you refused every time.”

“I know.” Lily tried to swallow, even though her throat was dry as dust. “But I realized…I love you, Heath.”

His expression never changed, except that his gaze seemed to sharpen. “I don’t know that your love will be enough, Lily.”

“N-not enough?” she repeated, her voice quavering.

“I told you, I want your trust as well.”

“You have my trust, Heath.” Words crowded into her throat but weren’t even close to being adequate. “I know I was wrong to fear you. You would never deliberately hurt me.”

His expression softened the slightest degree. “How gratifying that you finally comprehend that.”

Lily nodded in agreement. “I have been a fool, I know that now. You were right. What we have is unique and rare. Something so perfect comes along once in a lifetime. I cannot throw it all away because of fear.”

“It would indeed be foolish of you.”

“Yes. Yesterday…” She hesitated several more heartbeats before she found her voice again. “Yesterday you said you loved me. Do you love me enough to give me a second chance?”

Her heart leapt at the warmth that suddenly shone in his eyes, even though he didn’t answer her directly. “I find your nervousness very endearing, sweetheart.”

Fear and hope tangled inside Lily. “I am not nervous. I am terrified that I am too late.”

“So this is a proposal of marriage?” he asked as he moved out from behind the desk and came to stand before her.

“Yes.”

Heath pursed his lips thoughtfully. “So say the words, Lily. I have done my fair share of proposing. I believe it is your turn.”

There was tenderness in his eyes, along with a faint hint of amusement. He was enjoying her repentance, Lily realized with a stab of exasperation. Yet he deserved to hear her abject apologies. “Do you want me to get down on bended knee as well?”

“No, a simple proposal will do.”

“Will you please marry me, Heath?”

“Tell me why I should.”

“Because I love you dearly, and I don’t want to live without you.”

His gaze continued to measure her. “I thought you were adamant about maintaining your cherished independence.”

“I was—but independence is not worth having if I am miserable. And I am utterly miserable without you. My life would be painfully empty if I lost you.” Lily held his gaze determinedly. “I want you for my husband, Heath. I want to spend the rest of my days with you, as your wife.”

At last he gave a brief nod, as if satisfied. “Then I accept your offer.”

The relief that flooded through Lily made her knees nearly buckle, and so did Heath when he took a step closer and bent to kiss her.

His lips touched hers, unexpectedly gentle, unbelievably wonderful. He tasted familiar and precious and oh so dear—Yet he stepped back before Lily could even raise her hands to his shoulders.

Turning away, Heath went to his desk and picked up a document, which he held out to her. Curious, she crossed to him and took it before proceeding to read.

It was a special license to marry, with Heath’s name designated as the applicant, and her name written in as the prospective bride.

Lily looked up at Heath in puzzlement. “I don’t understand. I thought you were betrothed to Lady Eleanor.”

He shot her a look too bland to be innocent. “Because I wanted you to think that. But the announcement you saw wasn’t genuine.”

“Not genuine?”

“Not at all. And you received the only copy. The publisher of The Star is a friend, and I prevailed upon him to print a single copy with that announcement proclaiming my engagement to Eleanor. I know how much your courtesan friends enjoy reading the society gossip in the papers, so I trusted they would find that item and inform you.”

Lily stared at Heath in disbelief for a long moment before flinging the license on his desk. Her hands went to her hips while her eyes narrowed in vexation. “You tricked me into thinking you intended to marry Lady Eleanor? Of all the despicable, underhanded, deceitful things to do!” she sputtered. “You frightened me half to death!”

With a smile lighting his eyes, Heath hardly looked contrite. “Turnabout is fair play, love. You frightened the devil out of me, vowing you would never marry me no matter what I did.”

“So you pretended to want someone else?”

“I hoped to force your hand. If anything could make you come to your senses and realize your feelings for me, I thought it would be jealousy. And Eleanor was kind enough to play along.”

Lily poked her forefinger into his chest, hard. “You are a dastardly villain, Heath Griffin!”

In self-defense, he caught her wrist and held her hand away. His gaze burned into hers, hot and amused and challenging. “You left me little choice, stubborn little hellion that you are. What else could I do? Professions of love send you into a panic, and coercion only makes you dig your heels in more fiercely. I couldn’t force you to accept my hand, Lily. You had to choose freely.”

He brought her fingers to his lips, pressing a light kiss to her knuckles. “But I was never going to let you get away from me. I love you too much to ever accept ‘No’ as your answer.”

Lily’s ire faded at the fervency of his tone, at the possessiveness and tenderness and warmth she saw dancing in his eyes. Suddenly she felt as if she could breathe again. She had not lost Heath after all. He loved her and was willing to forgive her for her obstinacy.

“You are still a beast,” she muttered, even though a smile threatened to break out on her mouth.

He favored her with his own familiar enchanting smile. “Perhaps, but this should prove to you how much I love you. Would I have gone to so much trouble if I didn’t?”

“I suppose not,” Lily admitted grudgingly. “So I shall contrive to forgive you.”

He reached up to touch her face, his thumb caressing her cheekbone as he stared into her eyes. “So you will marry me?”

Her heart moved into her throat at the love she saw shimmering there in the golden depths. “Yes, Heath. I will marry you, and gladly.”

“Thank God. I was running out of hope.” His arms coming around her, he drew her close and rested his cheek on her hair. “I could never live without you, Lily. I could never be happy alone, now that I know what happiness is.” He laughed softly. “I thought I was perfectly content until I met you. I never realized how much I was missing until then. I haven’t been the same man since I kissed you in that stable loft.”

Lily felt the same way about Heath. He filled all the empty places in her heart and in her life.

She leaned into the warm, solid strength of him, cherishing the feeling of holding him, of knowing he belonged to her from now until forever. “I am profoundly grateful that you didn’t give up on me.”

She heard the smile in his voice when he replied. “You should know by now that I can be as stubborn-minded as you. It just shows how well-matched we are.” He paused. “But you have changed me—for the better I think.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because of you, I was obliged to face some unpleasant truths about myself. More crucially, I realized that if I wanted to win your love, I needed to be worthy of you.”

Still not comprehending, Lily drew back to search his face.

Heath’s expression was surprisingly intent as he continued. “You see, everything has always come easily to me. I never had to work for anything I wanted. And then I met you. You were the only thing I ever desired that I couldn’t have just by snapping my fingers. You made me go to extraordinary lengths just to be near you.”

He gazed down at her solemnly. “And then I came to know you, Lily. I saw your dedication. I saw how fiercely passionate you were about helping your friends. It made me feel humble, angel. Until then, life was always something of a game to me. I never thought much about others, about the servants in my employ, about young girls who are forced into prostitution. But because of you, I realized that life is not just a game. And that with all my wealth and resources, I can do more to help the plight of the less fortunate.”

“You have already helped tremendously,” Lily replied earnestly. “You gave Betty and Peg entirely new lives.”

“It isn’t enough. But I mean to do better in the future by putting my wealth to good use. I began by contributing to some of Tess Blanchard’s charities. And I want to help you found a home for destitute women so they don’t have to sell their bodies in order to survive.”

“Oh, Heath…” Lily felt her heart melt, even though she was a little stunned that she could have made such a difference to his perspective on life. “You did not have to go to such lengths for me.”

“Yes, I did. I want to be good husband to you, Lily. I want to share your passion.”

Her heart gave a great surge of gladness. “I have no doubt you will be the best husband any woman could ever hope for.” Lily gave him a teasing smile as she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. “I know very well that you are not the worthless libertine that many of your noble peers are.”

He grinned. “I am gratified you think so.”

“And I agree that you are my ideal match. You are bold and fearless and daring. I greatly admire those qualities in a man—and I insist on having them in my husband.”

“Then I am in luck.”

Suddenly serious, Lily shook her head. “No, the luck is mine, Heath. I don’t know that I deserve you, but I love you deeply, and I will try my best to be a good wife to you.”

“I intend to make very certain of it, sweetheart.”

The words were provocative, while the teasing light had returned to his eyes, reassuring Lily as much as his next tender declaration: “I love you, Lily. I will never stop loving you.”

She arched an eyebrow, not wanting to show her uncertainty. “And if you should come to tire of me?”

“That will never happen in a million years.”

As if determined to prove his assertion, Heath cupped her face and claimed her mouth in a cherishing kiss.

With a sigh of joy, Lily responded to his caress with all the fervency she possessed. Her senses seemed starved for him, it had been so long since she had last kissed him, last touched him. His ardent passion banished the last of her fears and kindled her desire to a heated urgency—

To her dismay, however, Heath abruptly broke off and peeled her arms away from his neck. “Not so fast, love. We need to settle some issues before we indulge in pleasure.”

“What issues?”

“When you will actually marry me, for one.”

Breathless and frowning, Lily allowed Heath to lead her over to the sofa. “The date matters little to me,” she said once they were settled with his arm around her.

“It damn well matters to me. I want to hold the ceremony as soon as possible—this week, before you decide to change your mind.”

She smiled up at him. “I promise you, I will never change my mind.”

“I’m not risking it. Do you want a large wedding like your sisters had?”

“Heaven forbid.” Lily mimicked a shudder. “I would much rather save the expense and contribute the funds to establishing our new women’s home. The same goes for wedding gifts. You needn’t give me any exorbitantly lavish presents like that ship, Heath.”

“Very well, no more lavish gifts…as long as you agree to accept the Zephyr as a token of my love.”

Her smile turned impish. “I think I could be persuaded. I am not so stubborn as to refuse your most alluring offer to sail the world with you. I once dreamed of having a life of excitement and adventure, but I was willing to give up that dream when I discovered my new cause.”

“Fortunately as a wealthy marchioness, you can do both.”

“Yes,” Lily agreed with an amazed laugh. “I can do both.”

“And anytime you feel the need to escape the shackles of matrimony, you will have the ship at your disposal. You can leave me whenever you wish, at any time, for any reason.”

Lily’s expression sobered a little as she finally realized the significance of Heath’s gift. “So that is why you gave me the ship,” she said slowly. “Not to win points in our game, but so I would have the means to escape. So I would feel free to leave if I risked wedding you.”

“Yes, sweetheart,” Heath answered.

She cocked her head, considering him. “I doubt I will ever want to escape you, my dearest Heath. And I don’t want to sail anywhere without you. But thank you.”

“You are quite welcome. Now…” he said, changing the subject, “where would you like to go first? I suggest we take our wedding trip to the Mediterranean. We can visit your mother in Brittany, if you like.”

“Oh, Heath, I would love that. I have always wanted to see France. And Italy and Spain—”

“Whatever my beautiful bride desires,” he said gallantly.

His lips lowered to hers to bestow a lingering kiss. Lily sighed in delight at the heart-soaring thrill his tender gesture gave her.

“So we are agreed?” Heath asked when he allowed her up for air. “We will marry on Saturday. We can hold the wedding on board the Zephyr and have a man of the cloth perform the ceremony.”

“Saturday should serve well enough. It will allow us time to call Roslyn back from her wedding trip with Arden. I don’t think she will object, since they didn’t intend to leave Kent until next week. I want my sisters to attend my wedding, Heath. And Winifred and Tess. And Fanny, of course. And Fleur and Chantel.”

“Of course, since they played such a large role in bringing us together. And I would like Eleanor there as well.”

Lily’s gaze sought his. “As long as she relinquishes any claim to you, she is welcome.”

One corner of Heath’s beautiful mouth quirked upward. “There was never any question of my marrying her. You have no reason to be jealous, although I admit to being gratified. I think you could become fast friends with Eleanor if you gave her the chance.”

“I like Lady Eleanor exceedingly well now, but I was ready to run her through when I thought you meant for her to take my place.”

“No one could ever take your place, my enchanting virago.”

“Good,” Lily said firmly. “For I have absolutely no intention of sharing you.”

Heath gave her a considering look. “I trust I have no reason to be jealous of your friend Eddowes?”

“Basil?” Lily almost laughed. “Not in the least. Basil is like a brother to me. Besides, he is head over heels in love with Fanny.”

“I suspected something of the sort when he kept risking a pummeling in order to save her.”

“I do hope they are able to solve their difficulties and find happiness together,” Lily said softly.

“Is that so?” Heath asked in a voice laced with amusement. “Pray don’t tell me that you intend to turn matchmaker, angel.”

She felt her cheeks coloring. “At least now I can understand Winifred’s compulsion to bring couples together.”

Heath chuckled. “I would say you have been transformed as much as I have.”

“More so.”

Exhaling a dreamy sigh, Lily leaned her head on his shoulder. Love had changed her, very much for the better, she believed. The protective shell around her heart had melted, all because of Heath’s relentless, unwavering pursuit of her. He had steadily chipped away at her defenses until she had no choice but to surrender.

And now the love she felt for him was powerful and irrefutable.

No one could be as fortunate as she, Lily thought, wordlessly raising her mouth to his. She had the love of an amazing man, and the promise of a remarkable future together.

Just as silently, Heath favored her with the kind of soul-deep kiss she had grown addicted to. His enchanting mouth possessed hers thoroughly, making her feel the dizzy rush of desire and need she only knew with him.

When she reached up blindly to untie his cravat, though, Heath stayed her hand. “What do you think you are doing, sweetheart?”

“I want to make love to you,” she said huskily. “I thought to give you a wedding gift. Myself.”

He held her hand away. “That is a gift I will treasure always, but I won’t accept it until we are irrevocably married.”

“Heath,” she began, her tone exasperated and imploring at the same time.

“I am as impatient as you are, but I am not letting you seduce me until you are my bride.”

“I am perfectly willing to let you seduce me.”

“You will have to be satisfied with kisses until Saturday.”

“Only kisses?” Highly disappointed, Lily assumed a pout. “You know it will be torture, waiting until our wedding night.”

A devilish gleam entered his hazel eyes. “The wait will be worth it, I promise you.”

“Indeed?” She trailed a tantalizing finger over his lower lip, but Heath refused to surrender.

“We will have a lifetime of wedding nights together,” he insisted.

“Very well,” she finally conceded. “But I intend to hold you to your promise.”

“I trust you will, love. Until then”—Heath surprised her by reaching up to pull the pins from her hair—“I mean to see how inventive we can be with mere kisses.”

The magical warmth of his smile set her pulse soaring. And when he bent to capture her mouth again, laughter and desire welled up in Lily in equal measures as she gave herself up to Heath’s enchanting caresses.