POEM AT
THIRTY-NINE

How I miss my father.

I wish he had not been

so tired

when I was

born.

Writing deposit slips and checks

I think of him.

He taught me how.

This is the form,

he must have said:

the way it is done.

I learned to see

bits of paper

as a way

to escape

the life he knew

and even in high school

had a savings

account.

He taught me

that telling the truth

did not always mean

a beating;

though many of my truths

must have grieved him

before the end.

How I miss my father!

He cooked like a person

dancing

in a yoga meditation

and craved the voluptuous

sharing

of good food.

Now I look and cook just like him:

my brain light;

tossing this and that

into the pot;

seasoning none of my life

the same way twice; happy to feed

whoever strays my way.

He would have grown

to admire

the woman I’ve become:

cooking, writing, chopping wood,

staring into the fire.