The glamour of the grand adventure was over with quickly. They had escaped detection by her wicked uncle, but being obliged to economize meant taking the stage to Portsmouth and no private cabin on the ship. Lydia could have borne this herself with no great pains, but having a child succumb to motion sickness amongst a crowd of strangers was not making for a pleasant journey. The crossing was extremely rough, and therefore never-ending, and there was no room at the inns once they arrived in Dieppe. The threesome was obliged to ride in the back of a donkey cart until they found a farmhouse with a spare room for accommodation.
“A mighty fine fix we are in, Lady Lydia.” Nurse grumbled.
“You just remember the first limb of Satan, Nurse, and that makes this more bearable.”
A weary little Amelia popped her head from her nurse’s shoulder, “What is a lamb of Satan, Mama?”
“Never you mind that, child,” Nurse said with a meaningful look toward Lydia. “What plans do you have from here?”
“Only to get to Brussels, however we may. I will speak to the owner of this accommodation and see if he knows how to arrange passage. I heard on the boat that it is still over two hundred miles from here.”
“Oh, heavens.” Nurse crossed herself. “It might be best to take our chances in the south, Lady Lydia.”
“You know why we cannot do that! I own, circumstances are not close to ideal.”
Nurse snorted. Lydia continued, “But there is still the chance someone might be willing to help us in our plight.”
“And what happens when that someone sends you on your way?”
“I confess I am not sure. I might have to introduce him to her.” Lydia glanced over at her beautiful child playing with a litter of kittens in the corner. “He cannot deny her.”
“No, but there is no saying he will do what’s right by her. Or you.” Nurse sniffed and shook her head.
“I care not for me.”
“Fustian!” Nurse did not believe Lydia’s words.
The mistress of the farmhouse entered with a tray of cold meat and bread, interrupting them.
“Merci, madame. Nous sommes très reconnaissants pour votre hospitalité.” Lydia greeted the woman in her native tongue.
The woman looked surprised at the fluency of her visitor’s French. Perhaps she wasn’t sure if they were foreigners. She seemed to warm to them immediately, and went into raptures over the vision of an angel that was Amelia. “Belle ange doré!”
Once deciding that a respectable-looking widow with a nurse and a beautiful child meant no harm, the woman was willing to help with anything asked. Lydia proceeded to find herself on excellent terms with her, and was able to arrange transportation to the next town when the woman’s husband drove the produce to market. He would help them find decent lodgings there.
Lydia was proud that something had finally gone in their favour, and Nurse’s grumblings were quieter for the remainder of the night.
Three days they were obliged to wait before the farmer went to market; three days for Amelia to become inseparable from one of the kittens. One more passenger was added to their ménage, and Lydia was certain that her hands and ankles would be scratched for the remainder of the cat’s life. But the kitten did not bite or scratch at Amelia, and it kept her entertained, therefore Lydia decided to let it come.
An old chicken cart was not what Lydia had in mind when she had arranged a lift, but there was no telling when another mode of travel would be available to them. Luxury was the furthest thing from her mind. Nurse and Amelia were riding on the box with the farmer, and Lydia was forced to ride in the back of the cart with live chickens and any number of potatoes, carrots and cabbages that were being taken to market in Abbeville. Fifty miles she was obliged to ride in such a fashion. The old dirt roads were deeply rutted from the spring rains, and there being no cushion from the iron wheels, it made for quite a beating that Lydia received on this stage of the journey. She refused to utter one word of complaint, or Nurse would ring a peal over her, though she was not sure she would be able to move for a few days after sitting in such cramped quarters.
They passed through some beautiful countryside, not too far from where she hoped to find a cottage when the war was over. She did her best to take notice of the beautiful rivers, rolling hills and vineyards, instead of the pungent smell of the chicken cart and the strong stink of manure from the farms when the winds blew in their direction. The farmer only laughed when Amelia would dramatically pinch her nose and exclaim, “Eeeeewwww!”
The farmer was as good as his word, and saw them placed in small but clean lodgings. The French were obliging to a native speaker who paid her shot, but the journey on to Brussels took a week more to accomplish with severe trials on Nurse’s nerves and Lydia’s ingenuity. It was difficult to travel with a small child in the best of circumstances, therefore the journey felt painfully long. Lydia was discovering a five-year-old child was a never-ending source of chatter and curiosity. If Amelia grew quiet, she knew she was sleeping!
Lydia felt sure Nurse would refuse to go one foot further when the only mode of transportation she could find was on the back of donkeys. Nurse was terrified of riding animals, but they were slow moving and she did not have to ride for too long.
Thus, Lydia’s grand entrance into the Grand Place in Brussels was made. At several points along the way, she doubted if they would ever make it. She had not counted on the difficulties of finding transport or the length of time it would take to reach the city. The town was buzzing with the news of the French marching at any moment. Every inn was crowded with soldiers, but Lydia was finally able to secure a small house on the Rue de la Madelaine from a family evacuating due to the threat of war.
Lydia began the search for Nathaniel. She knew not the name of his regiment. Discreet enquiry informed her that he was no longer wearing the blue of the Hussars. She had not foreseen the difficulty of locating him once in Brussels, but soon discovered over twelve thousand troops were in the vicinity. Undaunted, she pressed onward despite weeks wasted in her search. She had not come this far only to give up so easily.
She was surprised at the amount of English Society present, and began to feel she might have need to mingle with some of them in order to obtain the desired information. She had hoped to maintain a modicum of invisibility, fearing word might reach her uncle. Though she had travelled with her nurse, she was unable to go about the town accompanied by her unknown daughter, and was careful to attract no notice when she did venture out alone. Nurse had taken Amelia to the park when Lydia returned from another fruitless search for Nathaniel’s whereabouts. She decided to join them on the sunny late spring day.
She strolled distractedly toward the park, desperately searching her mind for options open to her while trying to maintain anonymity. She rounded the corner onto the Rue Royale and ran straight into Major Andrew Abbott.
“I beg your pardon, sir!” Lydia said in English, noticing the scarlet uniform of her country.
“Lady Lydia?” Andrew said with surprise, and made a quick bow.
“Major Abbott.” She dropped a brief curtsy.
“I did not know you were in Brussels. What brings you here? Following the drum?” he teased.
“Not precisely. I prefer it not be made known that I am here.”
“Of course. Can I be of assistance?”
Lydia hesitated. Major Abbott was cousin to Nathaniel, and he might be able to relieve her search at once. It was worth the risk. “Would you happen to know where I might find Lord Fairmont?”
Astonishment crossed Andrew’s face. “I have only now arrived, but I can contrive to find out shortly.”
“Would you be so kind as to let me know so that a message may be given to him?”
“I suppose that could be arranged. Is there something I might help you with? Brussels is a long way to come to deliver a message.”
Emotion crossed Lydia’s face. Andrew must have seen enough to concern him. “I will get word to Fairmont. Might I have your direction if he is able to get away?”
Lydia nodded and proceeded to inform Andrew of the house she had rented not far from the park. “The small white stone house with a red door and red shutters.”
“I am at Wellington’s headquarters, should you need anything, Lady Lydia. I will send word to Fairmont immediately.” He pointed down the street toward Wellington’s lodgings.
“I am ever so grateful, Major Abbott. I was beginning to despair of finding him.”
Andrew bowed. “I am happy to be of service.”
Lydia watched Major Abbott walk away. Her pulse was racing with nervousness. She prayed she was not on a fool’s errand.
“Lydia is in Brussels?” Nathaniel questioned with disbelief.
“Aye. She seemed desperate to speak to you,” Andrew replied.
“She mentioned as much in London. Other events distracted me, and I was unable to call on her before I returned here.”
“She also asked me to keep her presence here quiet.”
“Whatever could be the matter? I cannot imagine anything urgent enough to bring her here.” Nathaniel was utterly perplexed.
“I know not, but she seemed most determined to find you.”
“I had better set out directly. Are you returning now?”
“Yes. I only came to see you. I felt it best to deliver this message in person. I know you had some understanding with her in the past.”
“Yes.” Nathaniel kept looking straight ahead.
“Lady Lydia has developed a bit of a…” Andrew hesitated, “…reputation over the years.”
“I understand. I know she was much in my sister’s company.” That explained much, but disturbed his conscience further. “Thank you for coming yourself. Let me speak with Somerset and tell him of my errand, and I will set off with you directly.”
The two rode hard for the better part of the fifteen-mile trip. Nathaniel could not form any coherent conclusions about why Lydia could desire speech with him. Andrew parted with him to return to headquarters, and Nathaniel made his way to the small house with the red door where Lydia was said to be.
Several hours had passed since Lydia had left Major Abbott on the Rue Royale. She had no idea how long it would be until Nathaniel received her message, nor whether he would be able to present himself to her. They had only just finished supper and Nurse had whisked Amelia off for her bath when a knock sounded upon the door. Lydia opened the door herself to find Nathaniel upon the step.
Unable to hide her emotion, she declared, “Oh, thank God you have come!” She pulled him inside and led him to the small sitting room.
“Whatever has happened, Lydia? What has brought you to Brussels?”
Lydia had rehearsed the speech she would give him over and over in her mind for years. She had hoped that she would be able to be on better terms with Nathaniel before breaking the news to him, but no such luxury existed in her mind any longer. Now that the moment was before her, all eloquency of speech absented itself and she blurted out her news.
“We have a daughter.”
Nathaniel stood still for several moments before walking over to the mantel. Perhaps he did not believe her. She waited in silence, watching him absorb this unforeseen news. He finally turned to look at her. “Why am I only now hearing of this? She must be several years old by now!” he said angrily.
“She is five.”
“I do not understand. Could you not have sent word?” He was upset.
She flushed. Lydia tried to compose her thoughts. She did not wish to go into the circumstances that surrounded her decisions at the time when she had found herself single, increasing, abandoned, and threatened by her uncle. She bit her lip to stop the tremble that threatened to betray her emotions.
Nathaniel seemed to realize some of these things as he processed this revelation. In a calmer voice he said, “Forgive me, Lydia. I am only in shock. I imagine the situation was not easy to deal with on your own.”
Lydia had to turn away to hide her shame.
“What has become of our... our daughter?” Nathaniel asked slowly, as if tasting the feel of the new word.
“That is why I have sought you out. I only reached my majority recently, and obtained freedom from my guardian.” She turned toward him again. If Nathaniel thought her choice of words odd, he did not betray it on his face.
She continued, “I have been able to keep Amelia hidden with my old nurse for all these years. I have been saving what I was able in order to purchase a cottage in France. I intend to set myself up as a widow and raise her free from the...stigma, but I am afraid I was unable to save enough. That is why I seek your help.”
“Nonsense!”
“Pardon?” Had she heard him correctly?
“You will do no such thing!” He was becoming angry again.
“I will not raise my daughter as a bastard in the ton’s eyes!” she protested indignantly. She had not endured more than six years of hell to have it all undone.
“Why did you not seek help from my father or your uncle?”
“Ha! My uncle? I am fortunate I was able to save our daughter from his clutches. He used me as an excuse to entertain himself. He was to have sent her to the foundling home! And as for your father, do you believe he would have brought you home to marry me?”
“He might have at least supported you,” Nathaniel said quietly.
“I have managed. I had hoped to speak with you on the matter in London, but knowing you had departed firmed my resolve to escape my uncle and seek your help. If you find you are unable to do so, we will continue on after the fighting and make do as best we may,” she said proudly, with a lift to her chin.
“We?”
“Nurse and Amelia are with me.”
“She is with you?”
Lydia nodded. She should not have told him that yet.
“May I see her?” he asked with a plea in his voice.
“I am not certain that is a good idea.”
“Lydia, I will see my daughter. You cannot expect me to abandon her!”
“I was not sure at all what I expected.”
“Please.” Nathaniel pleaded quietly with those same eyes of his daughter’s.
She paused to think, and realized it was useless to resist. “Very well. Let me see if she is finished with her bath.” Lydia left and returned a few minutes later with Nathaniel’s butter stamp. The angelic, petite version of himself rendered Nathaniel speechless.
“This is Amelia.” Lydia brought the child forward.
“How do you do, sir.” Amelia made a curtsy to Nathaniel. “Who are you?”
Nathaniel, tears in his eyes, said, “I am your papa.”