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BUNTING TIME

Matters of love

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After your fling,

watch for the sting

(1917)

The beginning of love is often physical. In hiphop male attractiveness is described as pimp-juice and its female counterpart as milkshake, contemporary versions of a long tradition:

bobbant (Wiltshire) of a girl: forward, romping

featous (mid 14C) of a man: handsome, good looking

clipsome (1816) eminently embraceable

DISCO JUDGES

women have long known just how critical others can be of their looks, whether they be English country folk or American teenagers:

sinful-ordinary (Wiltshire) plain to the last degree in looks

bridlegged (Cheshire) a farmer’s contemptuous description of a woman as having legs not strong enough to work on the farm

sphinx (US black teen slang) a woman who is beautiful from the neck up

Medusa (US black teen slang) a woman who is beautiful from the neck down

strobe-light honey (US black teen slang) a woman who seems attractive in flickering light but not otherwise

ZEPPELINS

One aspect in particular often receives close attention:

bathycolpian (1825) having a deep cleavage

headlamps (UK slang early 20C) female breasts: this was when large, raised car headlights were the norm (a century earlier the common expression was barges)

dead heat in a Zeppelin race (UK slang) an admiring description of large breasts

fore-buttocks (Pope: The Dunciad 1727) breasts

Cupid’s kettledrums (18C) breasts

SUPERSIZE ME

So how do you get your feelings across? Do fries go with that shake? was a phrase called out by black men in 1970s America to a passing woman they fancied; while the object of admiration might mutter to her friend: He can put his shoes under my bed anytime

boombaloomba (Australian slang) an expression of a man’s attraction to a woman

look that needs suspenders (1940s) a very interested glance at a woman (the suspenders were needed to keep the man’s eyeballs attached to their sockets)

HUNTER DITHERERS

Not that everyone finds it easy to be so forward:

stick-up (Wiltshire) to make the first tentative advances towards courting

dangle (late 18C) to follow a woman without actually addressing her

quirkyalone (US slang 1999) someone who just wants the right person to come along at the right time even if that means waiting

FAINT HEART

Sometimes one just has to take the risk and get a bit proactive:

tapper (1950s) a boy who repeatedly pestered a girl for a date

wingwoman (US slang from the film Top Gun 1986) a professional female matchmaker who escorts a man to a bar or club, engages in light conversation to draw in other females, and then withdraws

strike breaker (1920s) a young woman who was ready to date her friend’s beau when a couple’s romance was coming to an end

rabbit’s-kiss (Anglo-Manx) a penalty in the game of ‘forfeits’ in which a man and woman have each to nibble the same piece of straw until their lips meet

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THE WILDER SHORES OF LOVE

As homosexuality was illegal in the UK until 1967, the secret language of Polari was used to disguise gay subculture from the disapproving gaze of the law. It was originally used by circus and fairground performers who were equally keen to communicate with each other without their audience understanding. Drawn from Italian, Yiddish, Cockney rhyming slang and full of backwards words (such as ecaf for face) Polari provided various terms that we all use today, such as drag, camp and bimbo, as well as some less well-known but equally colourful expressions:

omi-polone a gay man (literally man-woman; a lesbian was polone-omi, a woman-man)

alamo hot for him

basket the bulge of male genitals through trousers

naff awful, dull, bad (said to stand for Not Available For F***ing)

CHEAP DATE

Whatever your proclivities, there are numerous reasons why one should beware of giving too much too soon:

couch cootie (US 1920s) a poor or miserly man who prefers to court a woman in her own house than take her out on the town

flat-wheeler (US college slang 1920s) a young man whose idea of entertaining a girl is to take her for a walk

cream-pot love (b.1811) professed by insincere young men to dairymaids, to get cream and other goods from them

GETTING DOWN TO IT

In the less permissive 1950s, a Nottingham goodnight was the phrase used of a courting couple who had got back from their date, and then slammed the door and said ‘goodnight’ loudly before retiring quietly to the sofa, hoping they would not be disturbed for some time…

suaviation (1656) a love kiss

cow-kissing (US slang mid 19C) kissing with much movement of the tongues and lips

lallygagger (1920s) a courting male who liked to kiss his sweetheart in hallways

bundling (b.1811) a man and a woman sleeping in the same bed, he with his clothes on, and she with her petticoat on

COUNTRY LOVING

But if the weather’s good, why bother to go home at all?

sproag (Scotland late 16C) to run among the haystacks after the girls at night

to give a girl a green gown (late 16C) to tumble her onto the grass

bunting time (1699) when the grass is high enough to hide young men and maids courting

boondock (Tennessee campus slang b.1950) to neck, pet or make love in an automobile

gulch (Newfoundland 1895) to frequent a sheltered hollow to engage in sexual intimacy

ALL LOVED UP

Limerence (US Connecticut 1977) is the word for that initial exhilarating rush of falling in love, the state of ‘being in love’. During that time the besotted of either sex should be careful not to deff out, the American slang for women who immediately lose contact with their female friends after acquiring a steady boyfriend. And this is just one of the pitfalls of sudden love:

fribbler (1712) one who professes rapture for a woman, but dreads her consent

batmobiling (US slang) putting up protective emotional shields just as a relationship enters an intimate, vulnerable stage (with reference to the car’s retracting armour)

THEY FLEE FROM ME

Once things start to go wrong, the slide can be all too rapid…

to wear the willow (late 16C) to have been abandoned by one’s lover

… so do try and avoid being cynical…

sorbet sex (US slang popularized by Sex and the City) a casual sexual relationship undertaken in the period between two more serious relationships

pull a train (US slang 1965) sexual intercourse with a succession of partners (like a string of boxcars, they have to be coupled and uncoupled)

… or sentimental…

desiderium (Swift: letter to Pope 1715) a yearning for a thing one once had but has lost

anacampserote (1611) a herb that can bring back departed love

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DROIT DE SEIGNEUR

Take heart from the fact that anything goes; and the history of love tells of some decidedly odd arrangements:

gugusse (early 1880s) an effeminate youth who frequents the private company of priests

panmixis (1889) a population in which random mating takes place

Shunamitism (b.1901) the practice of an old man sleeping with, but not necessarily having sex with, a young woman to preserve his youth (the rationale was that the heat of the young woman would transfer to the old man and revitalize him, based on the Biblical story of King David and Abishag)

HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ME

Just beware the types for whom lovemaking has become habitual (or even professional):

mud-honey (Tennyson: Maud 1855) the dirty pleasures of men about town

cougar (Canadian slang 2005) an older woman on the prowl, preferably for a younger man

lovertine (1603) someone addicted to sex

play checkers (US gay jargon 1960s) to move from seat to seat in a cinema in search of a receptive sex partner

twopenny upright (UK slang 1958) the charge made by a prostitute for an act of sexual intercourse standing up out of doors

WORD JOURNEYS

boudoir (French 18C) a place to sulk or pout in

friend (Old English) a lover; then (12C) a relative or kinsman

buxom (12C) obedient, compliant; then (16C) plump and comely

harem (17C from Turkish via Arabic) forbidden to others; then sacred to the women and their apartments