New York City, Nine Years Ago

Their first official date was in Greece, at a small hotel that also accepted her dogs.

They only left the room to walk Thor and Loki.

Their second date happened six weeks later when Daz called, said he was in London and could she come right away? Renee dropped everything, made sure someone would watch her dogs, and used her frequent flyer miles to take the next flight to England.

That time, they got sightseeing in. Well, some.

But as Renee checked in at the Bryant Park Hotel in New York, she knew that their whole crazy, oddball courtship was over.

What if Daz blamed her when she told him about being pregnant? She’d tried so hard to reach him before she passed the three-month mark but he’d been out of touch, probably on some mission. Now there was nothing for him to do but accept her decision.

She took her key from the hotel clerk, tossed her backpack over her shoulder and made her way to the elevators, ignoring the crowd of Asian tourists who’d just arrived and were ogling the gilded lobby.

“Batgirl!” one said, pointing at her.

Renee tapped her Batman logo T-shirt. “Yep.”

Before she knew it, they wanted photos. She indulged them for a few minutes before she was able to extricate herself and head to the room. They were probably here for New York Comic Con tomorrow. She had tickets as well. Before she found out she was pregnant, the plan had been for her and Daz to go together. He’d never been to a con. He said he was looking forward to it. Or maybe he was indulging her. Sometimes with Daz, it was hard to tell.

She opened the door to her room and, before it could close behind her, Daz lifted her up and kissed her.

“You’re here early.”

“Yep, got a flight out faster than I thought,” he said.

She let her pack fall to the floor and let him sweep her away, one last time. She wanted to touch him, be with him and hold that close to her heart, whatever happened. As he set her on the bed, she reached for his belt buckle.

“Let me.” She tossed the belt off to the side and unbuttoned his jeans.

“As you wish, Wonder Woman.” He smiled.

She knelt on the bed and ran her hands under his T-shirt. He sighed, a happy sound that quickly turned to a moan as she pulled down his pants and went to work on his erection with her mouth.

“Oh, that’s perfect,” he mumbled and entangled his hands in her hair.

All she kept thinking was Be with me over and over. Her hands dug into his hips. He came, faster than she expected.

After, he pushed her back on the bed, slowly removing each item of her clothing. “I missed you,” he said.

“Same.” And she reached to stroke his penis again but he grabbed her hand.

“Your turn,” he said and he went to work with his mouth on her as expertly as she had done on him.

Outside the window, the city twinkled with glittering lights. New York never slept. They could sleep when they wanted, go out when they wanted, though she did want to see the Con tomorrow.

But what she wanted now was to curl up next to Daz in the bed.

“Room service or should we go out? It is New York, after all,” Daz said, tracing his fingers down her back. “Anything’s possible.”

“I don’t…” She closed her eyes. “I don’t want to move.”

“You got it. Unless you want another go-round?”

“Not yet.” Argh, she had to tell him. What if he was called away unexpectedly? He’d had to leave London twelve hours early. She laid her head over his chest. He stroked her hair.

“Your breasts look somehow bigger,” he said. “Absence really does make the reunion so much better.”

“Yeah.” Her breasts were already showing signs of the pregnancy.

“Daz, did you ever wonder where we’re going with this?”

She stiffened, expecting him to put her off.

“Sure, I did, on the flight over.” He tangled his hand in her hair. “This is…well, I’m not usually good with relationships. But you’ve been great, I miss you, and I want to see more of you, any way I can. But you know my time isn’t always my own.”

“Will your schedule ever slow down?”

“I have another two years before anything changes. I’m locked in right now.” His fingers drifted down her back. “I wish I had a better answer for you.”

“What happens in two years?” she asked.

“I’ll have a chance to either re-up or get out. But I already know I’m going to stay with the Navy. They trained me for a specific job. No sense wasting that.” He rolled over so they were face-to-face.

“I see.”

“Are you worried I’m seeing someone else?”

“Absolutely not. What made you ask that?”

“I’ve seen a lot of guys, even those with steady girlfriends, date other women when they’re stationed or assigned far away. I thought you’d be worried about that.”

“No, I trust you. If you wanted to see other women, you’d tell me.” No, she was worried about a far bigger problem.

“I don’t want other women. I want you. I want to keep seeing you. So I guess it depends on how flexible you can be.”

She sat up. She’d delayed long enough. She walked over to stare at the window, hoping for inspiration.

“You’re upset.” He put his hands over his head and stretched out his full length on the bed, watching her. “I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer. You knew what you were getting into with me.”

“I did. It’s not that, Daz. It’s…something has changed.”

His casual pose disappeared. “What? What’s wrong?”

“It’s… I’m having trouble saying it.” She turned to face him.

“Does it have anything to do about why you were trying to reach me last month?”

She shook her head. “It was urgent. Then it wasn’t. And now we have to talk about it.”

“Have you met someone else?”

“No way.”

Daz walked over and opened a bottle from the six-pack he’d brought. “Want one?”

“No.” She couldn’t have one even if she wanted. Another adjustment.

He put down his beer, enclosed her from behind and kissed her neck. “Look, this is good, really good, with you. I thought you were happy with it too. Are you sure there’s not someone else?”

“No.” Never.

“Renee, what’s going on?”

She sat on the bed. She was confusing him. “Daz, I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widened and then his face lost all expression.

Her throat closed up. No, no, no, this wasn’t the reaction she’d dreamed about. She closed her eyes. Give him a few minutes. She’d been shocked. He must be too. He wouldn’t be human if it didn’t take a few minutes for him to absorb this news.

“Oh,” he finally said.

She dared look at him. He’d faced bears and gunmen with little change in expression but now his eyes were open wide, ranging about the room, as if searching for an escape.

She’d known he’d be surprised and shocked but she’d thought, maybe, there would’ve been some joy mixed in, somehow…

She hugged herself tight and stared at the floor. She had to swallow three times before her throat had enough saliva to speak. “That was what was urgent. I wanted to reach you when it was still possible to make a decision about it. I figured you should have a say. But it’s too late now. We’re having a baby.”

He knelt in front of her. “How far along are you?”

He’d said five words and she strained to read the emotions in every single one. At least there was no anger but she didn’t hear any joy either.

“I’m three and a half months along.” She slid back on the bed, away from him, and drew her knees up to her chin.

“London, then.”

Again, no telling what he was thinking or feeling. Her fingers dug into the covers.

“Yeah, London,” she said.

He sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. Yes, do that. Yes, this is good. Maybe this would work out, somehow.

“I appreciate you tried to reach me, Renee,” he said.

How careful he was being with words. Dammit, she’d have preferred him getting angry to these mealy-mouthed statements.

“I wish I had reached you. It’s pretty obvious what you would’ve wanted. Obviously, the pregnancy doesn’t thrill you.” She’d known instantly, even in her shock, that she wanted this baby. That had surprised the hell out of her. She’d never expected to have a family, at least not right now.

She’d hoped desperately that Daz would have the same reaction.

“Wait a minute, when did I say that I didn’t want the baby?” Daz asked.

“You’re right, you never said that. You’ve been very, very careful not to say it.”

She stood and started plucking her clothes off the floor to get dressed. In her worst nightmares, Daz walked out on her. But this cold reaction was just as bad.

“Wait a minute, Renee. Stop that. I’m surprised. I’m trying to sort it out in my head.”

“Everything you’ve said makes it clear you don’t want this.” She finished dressing. “If you were in the least bit happy about it, something would’ve come out. You’d have reacted differently. But you’re not. You’re confused and worried but there’s not even a small spark of happiness.” Her voice broke.

He stood up and took her hands. “You’ve had at least a month to go over this in your head. Give me more than fifteen minutes to get used to the idea.”

I knew the minute I found out I was pregnant that I loved you and wanted our baby.

She closed her eyes once more and could feel the tears building. If she said that, now, in this moment, she would sound clingy. She’d be damned if she would ever sound that needy.

“A baby wasn’t in your plans. I kinda figured that would be the case but…I hoped…I thought you might be a little bit pleased.” I thought you might love and want me the way I love and want you.

A tear slipped down her cheek. No, no, she wouldn’t cry.

He hugged her. She sniffled and let him hold her.

“I’m not going to desert you, Renee. You won’t be alone. I’m going to live up to my obligation to you and the baby.”

Obligation. Ouch.

She stepped back and wiped the tear away from her cheek. “Yeah, sure. Thanks,” she mumbled.

I love you, Daz. God, I love you.

It was so stupid. They barely knew each other. They’d spent less than a month in each other’s company. But she did. No one ever looked at her the way he did, as if he believed she were capable of any task, as if she were the most powerful person in the world. As if she were Wonder Woman.

But he didn’t love her back, at least not the same way. Obligation, my ass.

“Renee, it’s complicated.” He sat down and pulled her next to him. “Family is something I thought about as happening in the far future.”

“Did you ever think of a family with me?” she asked.

He cleared his throat. “I hadn’t got that far.” His voice. “I was just having a lot of fun and hoped to keep it going.”

That was honest, at least. Daz always was. “This is a huge change in my life too.”

“But you want this baby. So you want the change.” It wasn’t a question.

Fair enough. She nodded and held her chin up. “I never knew I wanted a baby until I found out I was going to have one.” I want your baby.

He put his hand on her stomach. “Then I’ll make sure you’re both cared for.”

She opened her mouth to tell him she loved him. But the words didn’t come. She’d so wanted to hear that he wanted and loved her and their child.

But forcing him to feel those things wasn’t possible. He either loved her or he didn’t and she wouldn’t beg him to feel what wasn’t there.

Daz was a military man. He was all about service and obligations and duty.

Dammit, Daz.