On the way home from Heaven on Earth farm, Ava pulled into a parking area overlooking the ocean and called her brother. The Rainers’ close family bond had made her a little homesick, and she hadn’t talked to Oliver in ages. Of course, he ought to be the one calling her, since he’d been so eager to eject her from the family and adopt Todd instead. She’d decided she’d be the bigger person and overlook that. Maybe Oliver had come to his senses.
Oliver didn’t answer. When she got his voice mail, she left a message and ended the call. Next she dialed her mom. She’d been putting off this call because she could guess how it would go. Ellen Ingerson was always cranky on her birthday.
“Ava? Something wrong?” her mother answered.
“No. Everything’s fine. Why do you ask?”
“I’m short of time and thought I’d get to the heart of the matter if something was.” Ava could tell her mother was moving as she talked. “Hold on.” There was a moment of muffled noise. “Okay. Got my earbuds in.”
“I just called to say happy birthday.”
“Oh. That. Yes, all right.”
“Did you get my gift certificate?” Ava repressed a smile. Good old Mom, always true to character.
“Yes. That was very thoughtful. We’ll use it when we’re home again.”
“Home?”
“From West Sumatra?” Her mother’s impatience was clear. “I’m packing as we speak.”
“That’s right.” Ava had forgotten about their trip. “Do you have a plan for your field work this season?”
“Do I ever not have a plan?” Her mother sounded affronted at the idea.
Ava smiled. “No. Not you.”
“That’s how I get everything done. How are things in Seahaven?” Somehow her mother made the town’s name sound like a second-rate destination.
“They’re terrific. I just toured a small urban farm run by three generations of women. They’re a fantastic family, and they’re using intensive practices to get the most out of their small plot of land.”
“Sounds fascinating.” But her mother sounded more distracted than interested.
“I’m setting up the curriculum I’ll be teaching this fall,” Ava tried again. “I’ll be doing a series of adventures with my students around town, teaching them scientific concepts as we go.”
“I’m sure the children will love everything you organize for them,” her mother broke in. “Ava, I have to go. I’ve got a meeting with the department chair in less than an hour. You know how it is before a trip.”
“Of course.” She did know since she’d accompanied her parents on many of their excursions. “Is Dad around?”
“He’s at work, honey. He’s just as busy as I am.”
“Okay. I’ll call again in a couple of days.”
Her mother sighed. “Yes, I’m sure you will.” She hung up, leaving Ava to stare at her phone, a twist of pain and shame tightening her gut. Did her mother not want her to call?
Did anyone want to hear from her?
Without thinking, she called Marie.
“Ava!” Marie answered before Ava could take a breath. “I’m so glad to hear from you. What’s new?” She laughed. “Do you realize this is the first time you’ve ever called me? I’ve been married to your brother for over a year.”
“Oh. No, I didn’t realize that. I’m… sorry.” Had she really never called her sister-in-law? Could that possibly be true? Shame pierced her all over again.
“Your family isn’t very chatty, are they? No one calls anyone as far as I can tell. But I’m glad you got in touch. I wanted to ask your opinion about something to do with Mom’s party tonight.”
Not that again. Ava’s heart sank, but she kept her mouth shut and listened to Marie talk, managing to insert “yes” or “no” at appropriate intervals through the conversation. Her mind was spinning. Marie was right. Her family wasn’t chatty. They didn’t want to hear about her problems—or her successes. They’d never been all that interested with what she was up to, and when she hadn’t followed the family tradition and become a professor at a university, they’d simply lost interest in her.
How ironic that Marie was already doing a better job at being a family member than her parents or brother.
“You know what, Marie?” she said, interrupting her sister-in-law’s flow of words.
“What?”
“I’m sorry I haven’t called before. I’ll make sure to do that more often from now on.”
“Really?”
“Really. Now tell me more about your plans.”
She sat looking at the ocean for a half an hour while Marie talked and she listened. She had to admit Marie had come up with some thoughtful ideas for Ava’s mother’s party, and Ava was able to make a few tactful suggestions about not going overboard. Her mother wouldn’t appreciate too much of a fuss.
After they said goodbye, she drove the rest of the way home, changed into a bikini, packed a towel, a paperback and some sunscreen and spent a couple of hours at the beach. After all, it was summer vacation. She told herself she didn’t miss Sam at all. When she was bored of reading, she returned to the house, showered, changed and passed the remainder of the afternoon working on curriculum plans, the sliding glass doors to her balcony wide open.
It was late at night by the time her guests came home. Ava was sitting on her balcony watching the stars. When she heard the sliding glass door open on the floor beneath her, she knew Sam must be out on his balcony, too.
“Ava? You up there?”
“Yes.”
“Can we talk a minute?”
“Sure.” She didn’t get up and come to the railing, though. His treatment of her this morning had hurt.
He waited a minute, as if expecting to see her, then sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I was out of sorts earlier. I… overheard you talking on the phone last night. As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right about everything you said. I am in danger of losing my company. I’ve already lost my friend, even if neither Ben nor I want to admit it.”
Ava drew in a breath. He’d heard her talking about him last night to Emma? She shut her eyes, shame coursing through her for the third time that day. Of course he had. She’d left the door open, hadn’t she?
“I shouldn’t have been talking about you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. The thing is, I miss Ben. We’ve known each other forever. Long before Chloe came around. I can’t believe we let her get in the middle of everything.”
She got up and came to the railing. “Is there any way the two of you can patch things up?”
“I don’t think so.” He leaned back against the railing of his balcony and looked up at her. “Not if he wants to stay with Chloe. She won’t stick around if he doesn’t put her first.”
“It’s hard to lose a good friend.”
He nodded. “It’s more than that; I miss everything about my life from before. The things we did. The way we ran our company. Everything’s different now, and I feel… stuck. I don’t know what to do next.”
The defeat in his voice tugged at her heart. From what she’d seen of Sam, he was a man who liked to set goals and achieve them. Now he was faced with a problem he couldn’t solve.
“What if there was no such thing as Scholar Central and you never knew Ben or Chloe? What would you do then?” Ava asked, hoping her question could spark a new line of possibilities.
Sam paused a moment. “I have no idea.”
“You have no idea?” Ava repeated.
Sam couldn’t blame her for her disbelief. What kind of a man couldn’t pivot when times got tough? The problem was he’d spent so much of the last decade racing toward one goal, he didn’t know what to do now that everyone around him had changed the game they were playing.
“I want to help people,” he said. “I thought that’s what I was doing.”
“By starting Scholar Central?”
Sam struggled to explain something he wasn’t sure she’d experienced. “I haven’t spent any time in Philadelphia, so I don’t know if it’s split into different neighborhoods the way Chicago is.”
Ava nodded. “It’s changed a little over my lifetime as areas get gentrified, especially around the university, but it’s definitely split into areas that have a different feel to them.”
“Exactly. In Chicago, those divisions are strong. I remember reading about the Berlin Wall when I was a kid and thinking we didn’t need a wall where I lived. People sorted themselves into neighborhoods and followed unwritten rules about where they could and couldn’t go. I became friends with a guy in college, and it turned out we’d lived three blocks apart when I was in elementary school, but we’d never met, or gone to the same stores, or hung out at the same places. The difference in our skin color meant we kept separate. Everyone in his neighborhood told him not to walk on my street or he’d get beaten up. Everyone in my neighborhood told me the same thing about his street. There was an invisible dividing line between us that we treated like it was made of concrete standing ten feet high.”
“I grew up in the suburbs,” Ava said. “It wasn’t like that, although I knew there were parts of the city I was supposed to avoid.”
“I moved away from that neighborhood in high school,” Sam said, “but you don’t forget things like that. Anyway, we got to talking about our grade schools. My friend told how few resources they had. How overcrowded the classrooms were. How their athletic teams had uniforms that were so old they shredded if you put them in the dryer. Both our neighborhoods were working class, and my grade school wasn’t that hot, either, but it was better than that. It got me thinking. How is it right that three blocks can make such a difference between two people’s lives?”
“It isn’t right,” Ava said.
“It got me wondering if there was a way to level the playing field. I decided I had to find out. We’ve pitched Scholar Central to schools that want to use our curriculum for students who live remotely or have health issues that prevent them from learning in person, but that’s not what Scholar Central is intended for at its heart. It’s for students who want to get the best instruction, no matter where they are.”
She nodded. “You want to change things for people like your friend.”
“It’s not easy,” he told her. “There are two parts to online education—giving the instruction and then measuring the work of the students. We’ve worked hard to make the first part bullet-proof, so a student can learn the material even if there isn’t a teacher around to help them. It’s the second part that turned out to be hard. There are a lot of ways to cheat when a student isn’t in the same place as the teacher. We’re figuring it out, though.”
“It’s a worthy goal.” She ran her hand along the railing. “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time before. You were right. The kind of education I’m going to give my students this fall isn’t available to everyone. When I was running my video channel with Todd, I liked that it was accessible to people around the world. We got comments from people in lots of different countries, and it made me feel like we were all learning together.”
“Your video channel sounds pretty cool. Did you ever think about continuing it?”
“I’m not traveling anymore,” she pointed out.
“You’re going to be traveling all over Seahaven, sounds like.”
“That’s true.” She thought about it. “Maybe I will. Hey, want to come up?”
Ava held her breath while Sam scaled the balcony. When he landed on his feet in front of her, he hesitated only a moment before he stepped forward, cupped her chin with his hands and kissed her. His kiss went on and on, as if they were lovers who’d been apart for months. It had almost felt that way to Ava, she realized. The day had seemed endless without him.
Only when confronted with losing Sam had she realized how much she cared for him. It wasn’t just his kisses. It was discussions like this one. Todd had never been someone who thought about goals or motivations, and he certainly couldn’t put his in words. He just followed his impulses and assumed she’d want to follow them, too.
Sam thought about his past and his future. The things he did had meaning to him. He wanted to make the world a better place. The way he put his thoughts into words built a connection between them, one she wanted to weave back and forth until there was no pulling it apart again.
“I missed you today,” he said when he finally pulled back.
“I missed you, too.” She was aware of him in a way that kindled her senses, until being close to him became intoxicating.
Sam traced a hand down her arm until she shivered from the light touch of his fingers on her bare skin. “I know that it doesn’t make sense for us to do this. I know I’m leaving soon.”
Ava went up on tiptoe and caught him in another kiss. She didn’t want to think about that anymore. She was tired of being rational all of the time. Who was she trying to impress with her desire to be sensible, anyway?
Her parents?
Ava broke away. “Ugh!”
“Ugh?” Sam drew back, his brows coming together.
“Not you. I was thinking about my Mom and Dad.”
“While you kissed me?”
Ava laughed. She couldn’t help it; Sam’s bewildered disappointment was too endearing. “I was thinking I’m tired of trying to prove them wrong.”
“About what?”
“About everything. That I’m not living up to my potential because I’m teaching kids rather than college-level students. That I give away my knowledge in fun videos rather than writing esoteric articles for magazines no one ever reads. Why do we all have to be the same, anyway?”
“I’m sorry it’s like that for you. They should see what a wonderful daughter they have.” He reached for her again.
“They should.” She allowed herself to be drawn against him. She could hear his heart when they stood like this, beating strong and regularly. It felt good to rest in his arms, as if she could depend on him.
“I’m not like them,” Sam whispered into her neck. “I see you, Ava Ingerson, and I like what I see.”
Ava swallowed, knowing it was true. Sam seemed to like everything about her—except the way she kept holding him at arm’s length.
She didn’t want to do that anymore. She wanted to let him into her life, come what may. A week of being thoroughly understood—of being thoroughly liked just as she was—was better than nothing, even if her heart would be broken when it was over.
This time she forgot her parents and let him kiss her until she was clinging to him, every inch of her dying to be closer to him. When he began to maneuver her inside toward the bed, however, she dug in her heels.
“Ava.” He sighed. “I want you.”
“I want you, too. Out here. Not inside.” She pulled away from his embrace, the night air cool against her flushed skin, and went to gather the covers off her bed. She brought them out with her and piled them on the deck, buzzing with anticipation of what would come next. After turning off both the interior and exterior lights, she took his hand, so large and strong within hers, and pulled him down into the nest she’d made out of her comforter and pillows. Here in the shadows, they’d be safe from observation.
Sam came willingly, his smile doing interesting things to her insides. “You’re full of good ideas.”
“I am.” With anyone else, she’d be afraid of being made fun of. Some men would scorn her desire to be close to elements when they made love.
Not Sam. She knew without asking he felt the same way she did. He loved being outside. Loved movement and sensation. She’d found a soul mate, even if for only a few days.
Ava laid back, grateful for the stars overhead and the susurration of the waves crashing on the shore far below them. As Sam began to undress her, she let all her worries go and surrendered utterly to the touch of his fingers brushing her skin. Bare to the night sky, she watched Sam tug his shirt up over his head and shuck off his pants and boxer briefs. He was all muscle and coiled strength. When he bent to explore her body, his hands caressing her, mouth tracing kisses all over her, heat rose within her despite the cool breeze blowing in from the sea.
Sam took his time getting to know her body, and Ava got to know his, too, each stroke of her hands over his skin stoking the fire of her craving for him. When he finally filled her, she closed her eyes, merging into pure sensation, and she knew that no matter what happened next, she’d remember this night, this sky—this man—forever.
Every muscle in his body ached when Sam woke up the following morning. He pushed himself up to a seated position on the hard deck, untangling himself from Ava’s body. All the covers she’d piled up for them the previous night hadn’t softened the cement surface of the balcony. He felt like he’d done back-to-back boot-camp training sessions.
He had gotten a workout of a sorts, he supposed.
Was he grinning? He was pretty sure he was grinning. Being with Ava was everything he’d hoped it would be. They’d enjoyed each other’s bodies for hours, making love several times. That’s what anticipation got you—sweet, sweet release when you finally gave in and did what you wanted.
She was beautiful. She’d shared herself with him with an abandon he’d only dreamed of. Their bodies had merged as if made for each other, and he’d felt he could do no wrong. Now he felt as refreshed as a desert after a strong spring rain. He didn’t know what the future would bring, but he was ready to face it.
“Ava?” The sun was up. She’d missed her walk with her friends, and she’d probably better move inside before she got a burn from the sunlight hitting the balcony. Besides, she’d be sore, too, sleeping on this hard surface.
“Mmm?” She opened her eyes. Sam was struck with a longing so powerful it took his breath away. He wanted to see those eyes looking at him every morning for the rest of his life.
He shook the thought away. Rest of his life? Who was he fooling? He hardly knew Ava, and the last time he’d fallen for a woman it had turned into a disaster.
That was Chloe, though, and Ava was different. Somehow he knew life with her would be anything but disastrous. She wouldn’t pout if she didn’t get the exact downtown Chicago condo she wanted. She’d be too busy creating some exciting opportunity of her own.
“Morning,” Ava said, pushing up to her elbows. “Oh.” She shut her eyes again. “Why do I feel like I climbed Mt. Everest last night?”
“Let’s get you into bed.”
She opened one eye, squinting at him. “You only have one objective in life, don’t you?”
He laughed, the happiest he’d been in months, pulled her to her feet and wrapped her comforter around her. “You’ll be more comfortable—”
A loud noise interrupted him: banging on a door somewhere below them. Both of them stiffened.
“Sam? Where the hell are you? We’re going to be late!”
It was Chloe.
“What’s on the itinerary today?” Ava whispered impishly.
“I don’t know.” He hurried them into her room, closing the sliding glass door behind them as the banging sounded again. “I’d better go, though, before she comes up here looking for me.” He tugged on the rest of his clothes and drew her close to him. “I’m going with them today, because I need more time with Ben to try to sort things out, but I’ll be back by dinner. I want to take you out tonight. Will you let me do that?”
“Okay.”
“Don’t overthink this while I’m gone.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I mean it, Ava. Don’t think at all. Just be here when I come back.”
She nodded, but he figured she was already thinking. The shine of the morning was gone, replaced by the same old problems that had haunted him for months. He was dreading this day with Chloe and the others the way he’d dreaded every workday for the last year.
Should he stay with Ava instead? He didn’t care what they did together; anything was better than going on one of Chloe’s dumb excursions.
“Go,” Ava said. “Make sure Chloe doesn’t steal your company. I’ll be here when you get back.”
He almost asked her to promise him she would be, but he knew there were no guarantees in life. He had to trust Ava or nothing they were doing would make sense.
He kissed her one last time instead, trying to let her know everything he was feeling. Judging by the expression on her face when they parted, he thought he’d done a good job.