8. East to West

A fortnight had passed since Harry had left, but he still had not returned home. Though worried sick about the whereabouts of her fiancé and what he might be doing, Diana had no choice but to write an apologetic letter to the vicar, putting on hold all of his suggested wedding dates, after which, emotional and frightened, she wondered what on earth to do. Exhausted after a long day in the Ops Block, Diana cycled back to her cottage and slumped in the armchair by the Aga. After loosening the waistband of her skirt, she stared ruefully at her now large tummy and considered her options. With Harry still not back (and having absolutely no idea when he might return) Diana was beginning to realize that she couldn’t afford to sit around waiting for her beloved to walk through the door. With him gone it was up to her to make arrangements for the months ahead, and one thing was clear: she certainly didn’t want to give birth in the local cottage hospital.

‘I have to get away,’ Diana muttered out loud.

Only recently had she rather shame-facedly seen the doctor on the RAF base, who had confirmed her dates and given her the names of several mother-and-baby homes. Diana had rather randomly chosen a place called Mary Vale, on the edge of the Lake District, where, when she had made enquiries, she had been told there was an immediate vacancy for a fee-paying resident.

Though none of the officers in the Ops Block had alluded to her fiancé’s prolonged absence, Diana had coerced one of Harry’s pals on the base to meet her for a drink in the officers’ mess. Knowing how vital it was that she left a line of communication open between herself and Harry before she left Duxford, Diana came straight to the point.

‘I’m in a bit of a hole,’ she had blurted out as soon as they had sat down with their drinks. ‘You see, I’m pregnant.’

Gordon blushed to the roots of his short wavy hair, then gulped back a large mouthful of bitter from his pint glass.

‘Harry and I were planning on getting married, but he’s been gone for weeks now, and I can’t afford to hang around here waiting for him; otherwise I’ll start to show and that will create quite a scandal,’ she added, as she lowered her eyes towards her swelling tummy.

Looking like a cornered animal, blushing Gordon averted his gaze. Determined to keep his attention, Diana rolled on. ‘I’m just at my wits’ end,’ she said, and burst into tears.

Handing her his perfectly ironed handkerchief, Gordon nervously checked that nobody was listening in on their conversation before muttering nervously, ‘What do you want of me, Diana?’

Diana quickly mopped her eyes before reaching into her handbag for a letter that she handed to him. ‘When Harry returns to base, please would you give him this letter, which contains the address of where I’m going to have our baby.’

Hoping to bring the conversation to a speedy end, Gordon gave an embarrassed nod. ‘Of course,’ he muttered.

‘And here’s a copy of my address for you too,’ Diana added with a trembling lip. ‘Please will you notify me of any news, be it good or bad?’

Gordon briefly glanced at the address she had written down on a piece of paper. ‘Grange-over-Sands,’ he had grunted. ‘Bloody long way from Cambridge and the Fens!’

Diana smiled bleakly. ‘A bloody long way from anywhere,’ she agreed.

The Ops Block team were surprised by Diana’s sudden decision to transfer to a base nearer to her family home, a lie she had concocted one sleepless night that she clung to throughout all the awkward questioning she had to endure.

‘Don’t know how you managed a transfer quite so quickly,’ one curious girl queried.

‘Won’t you miss being near your nice young man?’ another had teased.

Up in the viewing gallery Harry’s closest colleague, a man named Derek Robson, overheard the cross-examination going on around the mapping table and took pity on Diana. ‘Enough chatting, ladies, we’ve got work to do.’

Though guilty about abandoning her war work, even though she knew she had absolutely no choice, Diana was ultimately relieved to leave Duxford; but when it came to leaving her sweet little thatched cottage she had wept. She had been so happy in Shelford, where she and Harry had spent so many happy times: walking by the river, cooking meals together, lying in bed wrapped in each other’s arms listening to the rain pattering against the windowpane. Was her beloved alive and well? Was he suffering, cold and hungry? She could bear any amount of waiting if only she knew that Harry was safe. Desperately trying to blank out memories that would break her heart, Diana determinedly set off on her journey to the Mother and Baby Home two hundred miles away on the other side of England.

Ada was impressed by Diana’s good manners and calm composure when, hours and hours after the exhausted girl had left Cambridge, she was welcomed to Mary Vale.

‘Delighted to meet you, Miss Bishop,’ Ada said warmly. ‘How was your journey?’

‘Very, very long,’ Diana answered with a weary smile. ‘Endless changes on packed troop trains. I felt so sorry for the weary soldiers and sailors; some of them were so tired they slept standing up in smoky corridors; a few even climbed into the luggage racks, where they dozed off,’ she said, smiling. ‘Poor souls, they didn’t seem to have a clue where they were going.’

Diana glanced curiously around the sitting room with its comfy old sofas and summer blooms; the phlox and carnations arranged in vases along the windowsills gave off a perfume that the cool evening air intensified.

‘Let’s just say, I’m glad it’s over,’ she added, as she gratefully accepted a cup of tea and a slice of bread and butter from Ada.

‘I gather from your letters that you worked as a WAAF on an RAF base in Cambridge,’ Ada commented. ‘Taxing work, I’m sure.’

Diana nodded. ‘It was demanding work for sure, and pretty terrifying at times, but I loved every minute; it’s where I met my fiancé – we worked in the Ops Block,’ she said with a hint of pride.

Ada knew too well not to question further; a girl arriving on her own was on her own for the most obvious of reasons: her man was gone. Changing the subject, Ada explained that Diana would have her own single room on the second floor. Since Zelda and Gracie had bonded so well in the time that they had shared the big double room, Ada certainly didn’t want to disturb their domestic arrangements, but she felt sure that Diana would enjoy being on the same floor as two women who were both due to give birth around the same time as herself.

‘You have your own room just across the corridor from two other pregnant ladies,’ Ada explained.

Diana gave a grateful smile. ‘It will be such a relief to stop pretending,’ she admitted. ‘It’s been quite a struggle hiding my condition from my colleagues at work.’

‘You can relax all you want now,’ Ada said with a reassuring smile. ‘Everybody here is either expecting a baby or they’ve just given birth; you’ll be no exception. When you’ve had enough time to think things over, we can discuss your plans for the future.’

Diana gave a polite smile. Right now she didn’t even dare to think about the future; she was simply grateful for sanctuary, a place where, she prayed, she would soon hear from Harry; then, hopefully, if her prayers were answered and they were eventually reunited, they could discuss their future together.

After showing the newcomer to her room and the nearest bathroom, Ada bade her goodnight, then left her in peace. Diana washed the dirt of the day off her face and body, then gratefully snuggled down in her narrow single bed and closed her aching eyes. Listening to the soothing sound of the waves rhythmically breaking as the tide came in, Diana gave over her thoughts to Harry.

‘God bless you, my darling,’ she prayed. ‘Wherever you are, stay safe and come home to me soon.’

The next morning, even though the blackout blind was drawn down, the light still managed to filter around the edges, giving Diana a chance to examine the room that would be hers for the coming months. Though it was nothing like the charming thatched cottage she had left behind in Cambridge, it was nevertheless clean and neat, with a high ceiling and a big sash window that, when she rolled back the blind, gave stunning views of a well-kept garden running down to a vast marsh, presently riotous with the calls of wading sea-birds.

Suddenly hungry, Diana slipped out of bed and dressed herself in a cool, roomy, cotton frock, then headed down the corridor to the bathroom, where she bumped into two girls busy cleaning their teeth.

‘Hello! We’ve been expecting you,’ a girl with beautiful thick brunette hair said through a froth of bubbles. Wiping her mouth on a flannel, she smiled and extended a hand to Diana. ‘I’m Gracie, and this is Zelda.’

Gracie’s companion was small and delicate with a mass of bright red curly hair and a pale complexion flecked with freckles.

‘Pleased to meet you both,’ Diana said, as she warmly shook hands with her new neighbours.

Smiling sweetly, Zelda said, ‘Our room is close to you, we welcome you.’

Rather intrigued by her obvious German accent, Diana nodded enthusiastically. ‘Thank you, I’d like that.’

‘Pop in and see us any time you fancy a chat,’ Gracie babbled on. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m starving,’ she said, as she gathered up her toilet bag. ‘My advice to you as a new girl is, don’t hang about in the morning or there won’t be any toast left.’

Zelda giggled as she trailed after her room-mate, calling, ‘You are always so hungry, meine Liebe.’

Heading towards the stairs, Gracie threw her a cheeky smile. ‘Course I am, I’m pregnant!’

Sitting between Gracie and Zelda, surrounded by a noisy crowd of residents, Diana marvelled at her new social group. They could not have been more different from the highly educated, ambitious young WAAFs she had previously spent her time with. Here heavily pregnant women sighed and groaned with the effort of walking or standing for too long, and unashamedly supported their heavy tummies as they moved around the Home. Diana noticed that chattering Gracie, with her bright smile and lively expression, constantly attracted attention; she was surprised by how much the residents turned to her for advice.

‘Are you doing Sister Ada’s exercise classes this afternoon, Gracie?’

‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world!’ came back the cheery reply.

‘Should I write to mi mam and tell her I’ve had the baby?’ another enquired.

‘Why not?’ Gracie retorted. ‘It’s not like she doesn’t know you’re pregnant!’

‘Father Ben says he’s found me some good folks who’d like to adopt my little boy – shall I accept?’

Gracie vehemently nodded her head. ‘I’d trust Father Ben’s judgement one hundred per cent,’ she declared.

Observant Diana noticed that Zelda seemed quite happy to be in Gracie’s shadow. Determined to draw her out a little, Diana patted her own tummy; then, speaking in German, she said, ‘When is your baby due?’

Zelda’s huge dark eyes opened wide in surprise. ‘You speak German?’

Diana gave a modest smile. ‘My school was keen on languages, French, Latin and German.’

Over breakfast, chattering away, the two women learnt a little about each other’s former lives. Diana’s heart ached when she heard about Zelda’s tragic loss; then suddenly, when gently questioned by Zelda, she found herself opening up about her own loss. Weepy with emotion, she confessed, ‘I was supposed to be getting married not long ago; then my fiancé disappeared. I haven’t a clue where he is.’

Zelda laid a cool hand over Diana’s trembling one. ‘I will pray for his safe return,’ she promised. ‘It breaks the heart to lose the one you love.’ Casting her eyes around the room, she added quietly, ‘I think many hearts are broken here.’

‘Yours too, I’m sure,’ Diana said gently.

Zelda dropped her voice to an embarrassed whisper. ‘Diana, I have to ask you a favour. Though it is good to speak in my mother tongue with you, it is not good for the residents to hear me speaking German. It is the enemy’s language and it upsets them.’

Diana gave an understanding nod. ‘So, please, do you mind if we only speak German when we are in private?’ Zelda finished.

‘English it is!’ Diana replied. Pushing back her chair, she rose to her feet. ‘Now will you please show me the chores list?’ she asked with a grin. ‘I’ve been told I’ve got to earn my keep, so I’d better get started right away.’