Tate
To Mr. Tate Howard,
You are quite possibly the most infuriating, annoying, grumpy man I’ve ever met in my life. I know you think that you’re God’s gift to women, but I have a secret to let you in on: you’re not. You’re God’s gift to yourself. Get over your wannabe cool surfer self and grow up. I thought it was time that someone addressed your big head and told you straight to your face that you're not all that. Just because you have an Ivy League education doesn’t mean you’re the smartest man in the world. In fact, I’m not even sure if you would have gotten in if you didn’t have rich parents. Yes, I went there. Not every woman wants to sleep with you, and I’m sure you’re not even good in bed. And I’m someone that would know.
Your Secret Not Admirer
I stared at the letter that I’d found in my gym bag and read it twice before I burst out laughing. This was the first time I’d ever received an anonymous letter. Granted, it wasn’t from a secret admirer, but it was still someone that I had affected enough to make them write to me.
I grinned to myself as I folded the letter back up and put it back in the envelope.
“At least they know I have a big head.”