Chapter Nineteen

Archer

@archerdev1 That moment when you try to put paint on a canvas but end up splattering it all over a girl’s face. #paintingfail #imnopicasso #guyproblems

Mac: You painted her face?

Me: Accidentally.

Mac: How?

Me: I was trying to paint flowers.

Mac: And you thought her face was the canvas?

Me: You had to be there.

Mac: I bet she wishes she wasn’t there.

Me: Nah. She was cool about it.

Mac: Sure.

Me: She was.

Mac: Most girls hate stuff like that.

Me: She’s not like other girls.

…

Mom: Ross said something about you painting a girl’s face. What is that about?

…

Me: Why are you talking to Mom about me?

Ross: Gets her off my back.

Me: Or maybe my life is more exciting than yours.

Ross: You wish.

Archer: It’s more entertaining than you dancing around shirtless on stage.

Ross: I get paid good money to do that.

Archer: For prostitution?

Ross: I’m not getting paid to sleep with anyone.

Archer: Stripper, then.

Ross: I do more than dance with my shirt off.

Archer: I must’ve missed that concert.

Ross: At least I know how to act on a date.

Archer: Yeah, you take your shirt off.

Ross: Don’t paint the girl’s face.

Archer: Do you let them paint your bare chest?

Ross: You’re really jealous of my chest, aren’t you?

Archer: Whatever. Just don’t talk to Mom about me anymore.