Lily woke up to rain.
She’d gone to bed listening to the rain—alone—and she’d lain there for hours waiting for Mac to join her, but he never came. She lost count of how many times she’d grabbed her cell phone, hoping for a text, hoping for some kind of word from him, telling her that he was okay.
But there was nothing.
And now it was still raining and she felt like shit. Her stomach wasn’t exactly stable and a headache poked the corners of her mind.
With a groan, she slid from her bed and padded into the kitchen, on the hunt for coffee. After brewing a small pot, she added cream and sugar, and wandered into the living room, her eyes on the easel in front of the window. It boasted a blank canvas, one she’d been excited to fill only the day before.
But now?
She dragged her eyes away and took a sip of coffee.
Now she didn’t feel like doing anything.
So she didn’t. She perched on the edge of the sofa and stared out into the rain. The sky was dark and the gray clouds bulbous. From what she could tell, the rain was on for the entire day and that was annoying, and it sure as hell would do nothing to improve her black mood.
She stared at her cell, her thumb rolling over the touch screen. Dammit, Mackenzie, why the hell did you bail on me last night? With a curse, she tossed the cell onto the table and tried to forget about it. She would not be that pathetic girl waiting for a phone call.
She just wouldn’t.
Two cups of coffee later, Lily was trying to decide whether she would get dressed or not when the doorbell rang. For a few seconds, she considered not getting it—she knew it wasn’t Mackenzie because he would just walk in—but when the bell sounded again, it was joined by someone shouting her name.
Jake!
She hurried down the hallway and yanked the door open, motioning him inside. The rain was falling harder now, so hard that it bounced back up when it hit the stone pathway. “You alone?” she asked, peeking behind him.
“Yeah,” Jake answered as he slipped out of his work boots. “Damn, it’s nasty out there.” He shook some excess water off his head and flashed a grin, but it was a grin that didn’t exactly creep into his eyes. “I’m on my way to the site, but thought I’d stop in for coffee.”
Coffee. Right. Jake was a two-cups-in-the-morning kind of guy, and she knew damn well that he’d had his two cups with Raine. Her stomach roiled, and for a second, Lily felt bile rise in the back of her throat. This was so not about coffee.
She really needed to get it together.
Lily pointed to the kitchen, and Jake followed her down the hall, sliding his large frame onto one of the chairs at her counter while she poured him a cup.
“So,” she said as she pushed the mug to him, “what’s going on?”
Jake knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t into bullshit, and she appreciated when he cut to the chase.
“Mac’s at my place.”
“Huh,” she said, her mind wandering.
After the scene at his mother’s place, he’d dropped her back here and then left for the ball diamond. He hadn’t said much to her other than he wasn’t sure if he’d be back. She knew he was angry and confused and pissed off, but she had no idea how to deal with it and no idea how to comfort him.
She’d pressed a kiss to his cheek and told him to call her when he was ready.
But he never called.
“Sal got ahold of me at midnight, wanting me to scoop his drunk ass up from the Coach House.” Jake set his cup onto the counter. “He was in bad shape. I haven’t seen him that out of it since Jesse died.” He paused. “Did you guys get into it?”
Lily’s eyebrows shot up. “What? He told you that we got into a fight?”
“No. He didn’t say much of anything. He kept muttering something about Boston, and I just figured that you and him got into it.”
Lily pushed her cup away. Jesus, her stomach really wasn’t feeling good. “His dad is getting out of jail, and I think that his mother is letting him move back in with her. Mackenzie didn’t take it real well.”
“Shit,” Jake said. “That’s not good.”
“No,” Lily replied. “It isn’t.” She fingered her coffee cup. “What’s the story there anyway? Mackenzie’s never really talked about his father, though I get that they weren’t close.”
Jake leaned back in his chair with a sigh.
“His father…God, where would I even start?” Jake scrubbed at his chin and sighed heavily.
“If you don’t feel comfortable sharing, I understand.”
“No.” Jake shook his head. “It’s not that. I just…when I think of what Mac went through growing up, the shit that his father did to him and his family, it makes me sick. Christ, half the stuff none of us knew about, not until years later, and usually because Mac was piss-drunk and on a rant.”
Lily gripped her mug so tightly that her fingers cramped. “I overheard some things at his mom’s last night, and I know his father used to beat them.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “All of them.”
Jake stared down into his cup and was silent for a few moments. “My first memory of Mac is from the fifth grade. He’d transferred in from another school, and his first day, every single kid in our class was in awe of this new guy. He was the prettiest boy we’d ever seen. Hell, even the teachers were all over him like bees on honey.”
Lily smiled at the thought, picturing a little version of Liam.
“It didn’t go down so well with us guys though. We were a tough nut to crack. Jesse, Cain, and I were already tight, and the other boys in our class weren’t real keen on making this new kid welcome, but the girls sure as hell were.”
Jake paused, and Lily’s heart turned over when she saw the sadness there.
“I had a crush on this particular girl. Her name was Terre Winters. We all did. She had long hair the color of dark tobacco and these big blue eyes. But more importantly, she was into sports and could kick any of our asses when it came to soccer. She took one look at Mac and stuck to him like glue, and Mackenzie, being the natural-born charmer that he was, worked it. Even at that age, he worked it like a pro, and at first recess, she wasn’t interested in playing soccer with us anymore. She wanted to hang out with him.”
A ghost of a smile turned up the corners of Jake’s mouth, but it quickly faded as he fingered the edge of his coffee cup.
“It didn’t take him long to win the guys over. Cain…Jesse…they didn’t understand why I was being such a little dick when it came to Mac. He came to school one day with a shiner that was the color of rotting grapes, and after that, he was pretty much in with the guys. Cain thought it was cool. But me? I still wasn’t convinced that the pretty boy belonged.
“After school one day, I got into it with him. I don’t even remember what it was about exactly, but somehow he ended up with a bloody nose and a hole the size of a golf ball in his jeans. Made me feel good. He wasn’t so pretty anymore, but even now I can picture the look of terror in his eyes because he knew…”
Pinpricks of cold rolled over her skin as Lily stared at Jake. “What did he know?” she whispered.
Jake struggled. Her friend—this big tough guy—struggled with his memory, and Lily wanted to be sick.
“At school the next day, we were changing for gym class. I was still on him, ya know? Still not into this new kid who only had to smile and everyone else was ready to lay down for him. I was jealous I suppose, jealous that Cain and Jesse were willing to let him in. God, I was such a little prick. I got in his face, I taunted him, and he exploded. He gave it right back to me, and in the process of giving me exactly what I deserved, I tugged his shirt off and…”
Jake’s voice was raspy, full of emotion.
“He’d been beaten. Badly. With a belt. He had the nastiest bruises and welts…I can’t even describe them. They crisscrossed his back. Some were yellowed, like they’d been there for a while, but there were several that were red and raw and nasty.”
“Oh my God,” Lily whispered, her heart breaking for this little boy that lived inside the man she loved.
“Mac got up off the floor, threw his shirt back on, and left. We never really talked about it after that—not even when he started coming over, spending the night at our place.” Jake looked at Lily, his expression fierce. “What kind of man does that to his kid?”
“A monster.”
“Yeah,” Jake replied. “A monster.”
Silence fell between the two of them, and Lily hugged her knees as she gazed out the window into the rain. There was pain in her chest, a tightening that stretched across her body and settled in her heart. She thought of Lila Draper and she got angry. And then she got sad. So, so sad.
Her heart broke for this family that was damaged—for this man who was shaped by the sins of his parents.
“I’ve got to get to work,” Jake said abruptly.
“Okay,” Lily said as she slipped out of her chair and followed him to the front door. “How is…where is he?”
Jake pulled his boots on and glanced up at her. “He’s sleeping it off at my place.”
“Do you think I should go to him?”
Jake shrugged. “I don’t know, Lily. He’s not in a good place right now, and if I’ve learned anything over the years when it comes to Mackenzie, it’s that he lashes out when he feels cornered. He might need some space.”
“Oh,” she said, unable to stop her bottom lip from trembling.
“Hey,” Jake murmured, pulling her into a hug. “It will be fine. Just give him a bit of time.”
“I love him,” she blurted and froze when she felt Jake tense up.
“What?” Jake loosened his hold and stared down at her.
“I love him,” she said simply. Jesus, she’d said it out loud.
Jake was silent for a few seconds. “Does he know?”
She shook her head. “No.” She paused. “Should I tell him? Should I go over to your place and tell him right now?”
Jake’s dark eyes softened a bit. “I’d give him some room. At least for a day or two. Let him get this out of his system.”
“Okay.” It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but Jake knew Mackenzie better than anyone, and she had to trust that his advice was golden.
“It will work out, Lily. Mac is crazy about you. I’ve never seen him like this with a woman, but he needs to get to where you are on his own.”
Lily took a step back. “I know. I’m sure it will be fine.” She pushed at him. “You better get to work.”
She closed the door behind Jake and leaned against it, unable to stop the flow of tears that streamed down her face. She cried for a long time—so long that her legs cramped and she sank to the floor.
She cried so long that her cheeks stung from the salt and her eyes puffed out. She cried for a little boy who’d never had a chance.
And she cried for a man who was still living in that horror.
And then, selfishly, she cried for herself, because she had a very bad feeling about things, and no matter what she did, that bad feeling wouldn’t go away.